


The AmazinGlee Race

by dreamcatcher (darcangell23), grlnxtdr29



Series: The AmazinGlee Race [1]
Category: Glee, The Amazing Race
Genre: Competition, F/M, Falling for someone else's partner, Glee on The Amazing Race, Implied F/F, M/M, Race Around The World
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-07-26 01:29:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 88,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20035621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darcangell23/pseuds/dreamcatcher, https://archiveofourown.org/users/grlnxtdr29/pseuds/grlnxtdr29
Summary: Eleven teams set off on a race around the world for one million dollars! But will Kurt and Blaine win something much more than prize money? Join the teams as they race through detours and roadblocks and other challenges from one country to the next and try to make it to the mat first!





	1. Prologue: Pre-Race Jitters

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! This is a collaboration that grlnxtdr29 and I have been working on. If you'd like to read beyond what we have posted here, the same story is up on her ff.net account with more progress. Anyway, we've put a lot of work and research into detailing this to make it as accurate to the actual Amazing Race as possible. And much of the detail is her work so I have to thank her tremendously because trying to do all that would have driven me nuts I think.
> 
> We have literally both been writing each chapter together so if you're familiar with both our work, play a little game and see if you can tell who wrote what. ;)
> 
> We both enjoy comments and kudos! Happy reading guys!

“You did remember to pack your meds, didn't you?”

Burt rolled his eyes in an uncanny imitation of his only child. “Yes, Kurt. You were standing over my shoulder harping at me, you know I packed them because you watched me do it. Would you stop worrying? The doctor said I was fine! He said as long as I don't do anything too extreme, he'd sign off on me doing this! It's supposed to be a chance for the two of us to have some fun and build memories together!”

The pale man sighed. “I know, I'm sorry. I can't help it though. I just don't know what I'd do if anything bad happened to you. I promise, I'll try and loosen up.”

Burt pulled his son in for a hug. “I'm not going anywhere. Try thinking of it this way, the doctor said I needed to exercise more. What better way to exercise than running all over the world with you, experiencing things we'd never have the chance to otherwise? And we could win a million dollars!”

Kurt smiled. “Well, since you put it like that!” They both laughed.

…

Blaine double checked his bag, making sure everything was in its place once the PA had finished pawing through it to make sure he didn't have anything he wasn't allowed to have, while trying not to listen to his brother's ramblings. Cooper had been sniping at him all morning, starting at breakfast when the older man had pointed out that Blaine needed to eat more.

“You don't want to pass out from low blood sugar halfway through a challenge!”

From there it had progressed to Cooper reminding him not to get too depressed when the cameras focused more on the older Anderson sibling.

“Let's face it, Squirt, the camera just loves me!”

Blaine was already starting to regret agreeing to go on this adventure with his older brother, although it had been nice to see Cooper begging him to audition with him. Then again, if the man could have found a way to clone himself so he could audition all by himself for the two player teams, he would have. Blaine was just glad there was only one Cooper, though. Two would have driven him into the nut house years ago.

The curly haired man wondered who the other teams were, and hoped at least some of them weren't jerks like a few of the racers he'd seen on the show. He didn't dare hope that there might be another cute, gay guy he could befriend. What were the odds of them having two teams with gays on them? Usually there was only one gay team per season, and they were almost always together.

Sighing, he zipped up his backpack. Thirty minutes. That was how long they had until they'd be escorted to whatever conveyance would take them to the starting line.

…

“Are you ready for this, Babe?” Jeff asked, hugging his shorter boyfriend from behind as the darker man zipped up his backpack.

Nick turned in his arms and kissed him. “I’m always ready.”

The blonde laughed, and smacked his shoulder. “That’s not what I meant!”

Nick laughed and kissed him again. “I know. I just love teasing you. And since I won’t get to do it much with the cameras in our faces constantly, I had to take one more opportunity.”

They shared one more lingering kiss before a knock on their hotel room door interrupted them.

“Mr. Sterling, Mr. Duval, it’s time!” Mason’s voice calls out. They had met the production assistant earlier that morning at breakfast.

Nick grinned and picked up his bag, even as Jeff grabbed his off the other bed. “Let’s go kick some ass!”

...

Artie Abrams considered himself to be not only a good judge of character, but excellent at predicting problems before they arise, which is what made him a valued member of the production staff, despite the wheelchair.

For the sixteen seasons he'd worked on the show, he'd always managed to figure out which teams would be the sweet, kind travelers that the natives would love, who would be the “Ugly Americans,” and who would be most likely to get arrested in a foreign country. He knew which teams would get along well together, and which teams would be hated by the other racers.

He'd foreseen production delays, potential conflicts between contestants, equipment malfunctions, and various minor details that could cause problems down the line, and either dealt with them before they became an issue, or made sure the cameras caught the drama to be edited later.

As the eleven teams were exiting the hotel, he found himself in a situation he'd never expected. They had brought the teams out one at a time, to where horse drawn carriages would carry them to the starting line in Central Park. The mild, late spring weather in New York meant that flowers were in bloom everywhere, making for some great opening shots for the season.

Everything had gone smoothly until one of the carriage horses decided to be stubborn and refuse to move, no matter how much the driver encouraged her. The team inside, two very large football players, were making obnoxious jokes about females, taunting the horse, and the female driver. Artie wasn't surprised about that, he'd already figured these two would be the stereotypical dumb jocks who would annoy the other teams.

The problem arose when the next team was lead out of the hotel, the father and son team. Artie had pegged them as the team that the fans would root for due to their determination to play fair and be the least likely to offend the natives.

The rules stated that teams aren't allowed to talk to each other before they reach the starting line, but it isn't a big deal if they see the competition before they reach the point where they would begin filming, so these two teams being in the same area wasn't a problem, as far as Artie could tell. Until the pale young man spotted the other team, and froze in his tracks, going positively white (a cool trick, considering how pale he already was,) in what appeared to be fear.

Frowning, the production assistant tried to determine what had caused the reaction. The question was answered when one of the behemoths in the other carriage glanced over to the sidewalk where the other team was standing. Dave Karofsky smirked maliciously at the younger of the two men, obviously recognizing him.

They always performed background checks on potential contestants to make certain there would be no legal issues later on. They had known both Karofsky and the Hummels had originally come from the same area of Ohio, but the background checks weren't so thorough as to check if the two men had known each other prior to the show. Obviously they did. And judging by the auburn haired man's reaction, there was definitely some bad blood between them.

Quickly assessing the situation, Artie decided the best course of action would be to approach the Hummels first.

“Gentlemen, is there a problem?” he asked, placing himself between the two teams, drawing Kurt Hummel's gaze away from the other team, just as the horse finally began to move and the carriage began to roll away.

…

Kurt swallowed his initial fear as the nerdy PA he'd met earlier approached them. What the hell was Karofsky doing here? He'd thought when he'd moved to New York he'd never have to see his former bully again.

Burt, who had also spotted the other man, was the one to answer. “Yes, there sure as hell is a problem. Is that jackass one of the other racers?” The older man indicated the football player, who was still leering at Kurt as the carriage turned the corner.

“He is. Do you know him?”

“Do I know him?” Burt fumed. “You think I wouldn't recognize the guy who threatened to kill my son?”

Kurt finally found his voice. “Dad, calm down, please! Your heart!”

The PA, who Kurt remembered was named Artie, looked up at him. “Is that true?”

Kurt nodded. “It was back when we were in high school together. He used to bully me all the time for being gay.” He hesitated before continuing, offering a half truth so as not to upset his dad. “He said he'd kill me if I told anyone about him shoving me around. He didn't want to get kicked off the football team. I doubt he actually meant it.” That was a lie. Kurt had never told anyone about the incident in the locker room, fearing the jock would make good on his threat.

The PA seemed to study him for a moment before speaking. “Well, this is an unusual situation. While the rules don't particularly preclude racers from different teams from knowing each other prior to the start, it could place you in an uncomfortable position to continue. Perhaps we should bring in one of the alternate teams, and bring you two back for another season...”

“No!” Kurt said, adamantly. “No, I'll be fine. I'm an adult now. I can handle myself. It was just a shock to see him here.”

“Kurt, are you sure?” Burt asked.

He looked at his dad. “You wanted to do this with me so bad. I'm not going to let that Neanderthal ruin it for us.”

…

“This is so romantic, don’t you think?” Mercedes said, as she cuddled against Sam’s side in the carriage. “A horse drawn carriage ride through New York in springtime?”

Sam shrugged. “I guess. Are you sure you’re ready for this? Everyone is going to find out about us once the show airs. We won’t be able to hide our relationship from your friends anymore.”

Mercedes frowned and sat up a little straighter. “I’m not hiding you, Sam. My friends just don’t get it. They can’t understand why I like hanging out with you all the time. I just don’t like conflict. If they can’t see what a great guy you are, then that is their fault, not yours.”

Sam smiled and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

...

Phil Keoghan stood in the center of the conservatory garden at Central Park, as he spoke into the camera, giving a brief history of the area.

“This lush oasis in the heart of New York City will be the start of another race around the world! Eleven teams of two are making their way here by horse drawn carriage. They are; high school sweethearts, Tina and Mike, a veterinary student and choreographer from Chicago, Illinois.”

Phil paused, knowing that later, the couple's interview footage would be inserted there.

“Boyfriends, Nick and Jeff, a Children’s author and kindergarten teacher from San Francisco, California.”

“Cheerleaders and friends, Quinn and Santana, a single mother and waitress from Miami, Florida.”

“Business associates, Sebastian and Hunter, a nightclub owner and promoter from Los Angeles, California.”

“Mother and son, Carole and Finn, a nurse and college student from Eerie, Indiana.”

“Brothers, Blaine and Cooper, a singer/songwriter and actor from Ann Arbor, Michigan.”

“Fiancees, Will and Emma, a high school Spanish teacher and guidance counselor from Des Moines, Iowa.”

“Dave and Azimio, teammates from Columbus, Ohio.”

“Rachel and Jesse, recently engaged musical theatre Majors from New York, New York.”

“Sam and Mercedes, newly dating model and singer from Murfreesboro, Tennessee.”

“And widowed father and his son, Burt and Kurt, a mechanic and vogue intern from Lima, Ohio.”

Once he finished filming the introductions and the cameras were turned off, he turned to his assistant, Marley. “Okay, now, what was the problem at the hotel? Was there a rule violation?”

The shy young woman glanced down at her notes. “Technically, no violation occurred. The contestants didn't speak to each other, but it seems that the two knew each other in high school. Kurt Hummel indicated that the other contestant, Dave Karofsky once threatened to kill him, though he said he didn’t take the threat seriously. ”

Phil was a practical man, and considered the ramifications of this news. “And Kurt decided to go through with the game, despite having Dave along, knowing they might find themselves in close quarters at times?”

Marley nodded. “He said he could deal with it, but if you want to overrule him, it’s not too late to bring in one of the alternate teams.”

It would make things go smoother, perhaps. He didn't want to subject any contestant to someone who would make their life a living hell. But he had met the Hummels during the interview process, and liked what he had seen in the two men's relationship.

“Let's let them have their shot. If there is any trouble down the line, we can deal with it accordingly.”

It was time for the teams to arrive, and Phil took his place to watch the racers take their marks.

…

Kurt sighed in relief when the production assistant indicated for him and his dad to take their positions on the opposite side of the line up from Karofsky. He didn't mind staying as far away from the jock as possible.

He glanced around at the other teams, sizing up the competition. Other than the two jocks, who he refused to look at, there was an interesting assortment of racers. Of the twenty two contestants, only six were female. Age wise, he’d have to guess that his dad was the oldest, with the one lady who must be teamed up with her son (who was freakishly tall,) coming in a close second. There was another team that looked to be a few years younger than them, but the rest of them all seemed to be around the same age as Kurt, give or take a few years.

The Dark haired woman and the blonde woman she was paired with both had determined looks on their faces, ones that reminded him of the Bitch Glares the Cheerios used to give him in high school. He knew they would be a very competitive team.

The two guys next to them looked more prepared for a vacation than a race. The blonde looked like he had just come from a GQ photoshoot, while the darker, shorter man beside him (boyfriend, maybe, judging by the promise ring they were both wearing,) looked cuddly and soft, except for his eyes, which were sharp and piercing. They both looked like they laughed a lot.

The middle aged couple beside them seemed harmless enough, especially the redhead woman with the huge eyes. She kind of looked like a fairy tale creature to Kurt. Only thing missing were the pointed elven ears.

As Phil began the usual pre race speech, Kurt noticed a really cute guy with overly gelled hair looking at him. The other man smiled shyly, and Kurt couldn’t help smiling back. Maybe this race would be worth having to deal with Karofsky, if he got to look at that face throughout the competition.

He turned back to the host as Phil began the countdown to the beginning of the race.

“I wish you all the best of luck. Racers ready?”

There was a chorus of yeses from the teams.

“Travel safe!” They all crouched down, ready to take off the moment Phil gave them the word. It felt like it was taking forever from Kurt’s point of view, and time seemed to slow even more, until he saw the word forming on Phil’s lips. “Go!”

And they were off!


	2. The World is Waiting For You

_ Get to the car, get to the car, get to the car. _ Blaine continued the chant inside his head. He wasn’t sure whether it was to keep his mind distracted from the obviously attractive pale man who had just returned his smile, or to focus on being one of the first teams to the airport. Getting the best flight of three was always the most crucial part. Blaine only realized he was shifting from foot to foot when Cooper stayed a hand on his arm and the younger Anderson had the decency to look just a bit sheepish.

“Will you stop squirming squirt?” Cooper said in as quiet a voice as he could muster. Of course leave it to Cooper to be the one to talk during the intro to the race. Blaine gave him a look and said nothing, shaking his gelled head.

The next thing he knew, Phil was saying those all too familiar words. “Travel safe.” He and Cooper crouched, ready to run for their luggage. It almost felt like an eternity waiting for the word to run. He had a minor nerdy thought about likening it to some fandom but shook it off. “Go!” Phil said just then. Blaine and Cooper tore away from the starting line.

As he ran, he paid no attention to the other teams, focusing only on his and Cooper’s luggage and their copy of the clue. He had such tunnel vision, he didn’t register at first that he was focused on the wrong bag.

“Hold up there, Hot stuff, you’ve grabbed my bag by mistake. Not that I mind. You can hold my sack anytime!”

Blaine looked up into the green eyes of the man who had spoken, not sure if he had heard him right. “I’m sorry! My bag is the same color.”

Before either of them could say anything more, Cooper was calling out to him. “Squirt! Over here! You can flirt later!”

Another voice also chimed in. “Excuse me.” It was the pale man who had smiled at him a few moments ago. Blaine was apparently blocking him from reaching his own bag. He muttered another apology before finally reaching Coop’s side. He glanced back once more over his shoulder at the glasz eyed man as his older brother ripped open the envelope and began reading the clue.

“Fly to Buenos Aires, Argentina!” Cooper crowed. “Drive to JFK and park in the designated area. You may only fly on one of three flights!”

Blaine saw a couple of other teams already running towards the cars. “Come on! We have to get on the first flight!” He threw his backpack over his shoulder and began jogging. He was pleased to notice the auburn haired cutie was running just a little way in front of him. How the man managed to run in those tight pants was a mystery to Blaine.

His focus stayed on the man’s perfect ass, until he realized what he was gawking at and shook his head, focusing instead on the line of cars in the parking lot. He hadn’t realized just how much they had to run through Central Park just to get to this spot. He did realize that some people weren’t really cut out for the all the running. Despite being football players, the two jocks seemed to only be built for running plays. The only all girl team was doing much better at hustling it.

Blaine tried not to pay much attention to where everyone was, wanting only to jump in the car and go.

“I’m driving squirt!” Cooper suddenly shouted and the curly haired man frowned.

“We need to get there in one piece Cooper! And we still have to obey road rules!”

The older Anderson shook his head. “Where’s your sense of adventure?”

Again, Blaine frowned. “Um, how about with the fact that we could be seriously penalized in more ways than one for breaking the law?” Cooper, to his credit, did not have an answer to that one. He merely handed over the key to the car. “Thank you.”

They reached the car and tossed their packs into the trunk, and as they had been instructed, allowed the cameraman to film them from at least three different angles as they entered the car, Cooper whining more dramatically each time about having to ride in the backseat, before all four people (Blaine, Cooper, the cameraman and the sound guy,) got into the car and they were allowed to pull out That was something that he had never thought about when he watched the show, all the different camera angles and what it took to get them. He always assumed it was all done in one take.

He didn’t have much time to think about it now, either, because as he was backing out of the parking space, another team almost hit their back end. He glanced back to see the dark skinned football player giving him the one finger salute. He pulled forward enough to let the other car pass, and then, paying more attention to his surroundings, pulled out, almost getting side swiped this time by the sultry looking Latina. She merely scowled at him and kept going. At this rate, they wouldn’t even make it out of the city!

…

Kurt managed to maneuver the car out of the parking lot with very little difficulty, having lived in the city for nearly three years now and being quite used to crazy drivers. He did take a certain amount of satisfaction at cutting off the meerkat faced sleaze who had used that outrageous pick up line on the dapper looking, gelled haired cutie. Of course his dad had to ruin his moment by reprimanding him for being reckless, even for just a moment. He’d wanted to snark back at his dad about how reckless it was for a man in his condition to even consider doing a competition like this, but held his tongue.

The other plus of having lived in New York for so long was that Kurt knew which routes to avoid at all costs to get to the airport, he thought as he watched the mother/son team and the couple he’d dubbed Team Asian turn onto what on a map looked like a shortcut, but in reality would add ten minutes or more to their drive. He continued straight the way he had been going.

“Don’t we want to turn here?” His dad asked.

“And risk getting stuck in lunchtime traffic? No, this way is much faster. It’s a little longer, but a lot less traffic and fewer stop lights,” Kurt said, glancing back at him in the mirror. Burt just grunted in approval and looked back out the window.

A glance in the rearview mirror told Kurt that he wasn’t the only one who knew the traffic in the city. They were being followed by another car. And it wasn’t too hard for him to tell that it was that loudmouthed brunette. The pale man had been a bit surprised she’d even been able to stay quiet during the introduction, because he hadn’t heard her shut up once since. She sounded a bit too confident for his liking.

He cursed under his breath, forgetting momentarily that he had his dad and two members of the production crew in the car. Jake and Ryder, as they had introduced themselves earlier, remained silent, since the rules said they weren’t allowed to speak at all while the cameras were on, and only in limited capacity during down times when the racers were present.

“What was that kid?” Burt asked from the backseat.

“Nothing,” Kurt replied. “The loudmouth team is following us.” He glanced in the rearview again. “If they know the city as well as we do, why don’t they take their own route instead of tailgating us?”

Burt was silent for a beat before he burst out laughing. Kurt gave him a ‘what’s so funny’ look in the mirror. “Kid, tailgating has nothing to do with cars following each other,” he said, but offered no more explanation.

...

_ “He couldn’t stop laughing the whole rest of the way to the airport,” Kurt said to the camera later during their confessional. “But he still wouldn’t open up about why he thought it was so funny.” _

_ “I’ll say this,” Burt put in. “If my kid were more into sports, he’d understand a lot better.” Kurt gave him a look and the older Hummel just laughed again.   
_

_ “This is one of the reasons I wanted to do the race with Kurt,” Burt said. “Ever since his mom died when he was eight, Kurt and I have been each other’s everything. I love him to death, but sometimes I think we live on two different planets. I understand him being gay, and I’m perfectly fine with that. He knows I don’t hold it against him, but even so, sometimes it is like a wedge between us, because we don’t have a lot in common. I like sports, he likes fashion. I like fishing, he likes singing. About the only thing we do share is a love of classic cars. I thought the race would be a good way for us to bond and have an adventure together.” _

…

Once they reached the airport and found the marked parking area, Kurt felt vindicated to see that he’d been correct in his choice of driving routes. They were the second car to pull up, with team Loudmouths right behind them. He was dismayed, however, when he realized that the first team to arrive was the meerkat and the buzzcut he was with. How the hell had they gotten here faster?

No time to worry about that now, he thought as he jumped out of the car and hurried to open the trunk. He grabbed both his and his dad’s backpacks, and wanted to run as fast as he could to be the first at the check in desk, completely forgetting that he was supposed to wait for the camera man to get their extra shots. Once they were given the go ahead to sprint for the check in, Kurt all but dragged his dad towards the counter for the first flight, frowning when team Buzzcut and team Buzzkill (the one with the obnoxiously loud female hobbit) both got to the doors well ahead of them.

Even so, Kurt realized some moments later that maybe this was an advantage, because it gave him a chance to play the casual observer, even if he was hurrying his dad along to get to the ticket counter.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Buzzcut was not headed directly for the ticket counter. In fact, it appeared as though he wanted to make a restroom stop first. Not that he was complaining but Kurt had to wonder why anyone would put off getting plane tickets to use the bathroom first. Being as intelligent as he was, the pale man kept one eye on Buzzcut and his partner, the Meerkat, while simultaneously staying focused on the ticket counter, with Team Buzzkill still in front of them.

Buzzcut had nearly reached the restroom when some guy - a rather suspicious looking delinquent type - collided with him. Kurt got this overwhelming feeling that the whole thing wasn’t natural. The delinquent was clearly lacking in his acting skills, particularly when he made a show of awkwardly asking if Buzzcut was okay. The pale man was convinced that something was up, but now was not the time. He filed the information away for later, should he need it.

Kurt and his dad arrived at the ticket counter just as Team Buzzkill seemed to be finishing up a transaction at the counter. He could see a kind of gloating smirk on the guy’s face. Clearly, he was celebrating something. Team Buzzkill walked away from the counter a few moments later, leaving Burt and Kurt free to step up.

…

_ “Of course we were the first ones in line!” Jesse said, arrogantly smiling at the camera. “We’re winners, in everything we do. Between us, we have Five National Show Choir Championships. We’re Unstoppable.” _

_ “My two gay dads always make sure I have the best of everything,” Rachel added. “Including personal trainers to make sure I was in top physical form to win this race! I always get what I want!” _

...

“Hi,” Kurt said politely as he stepped up to the counter, pulling out their Team’s Amazing Race credit card, which was meant to be used only to purchase plane tickets. “We need tickets on the next Delta flight to Buenos Aires, Argentina.”

The gentleman at the desk began typing on his computer and looked up after a moment. “I have some spots left. Are you flying Economy or First class?”

“Economy,” Kurt said immediately. With the rules of the game stating they could only fly Economy, it did make for an easier decision. Though he wouldn’t put it past some of the other teams to want to fly in better conditions. There were already a few that gave him the impression they were too spoiled for a common person’s seat.

There was more tapping on the computer and the guy reached a hand out for the card. Kurt handed it to him. “Can I get your names and information please?” he asked as he prepared to swipe the card. Kurt gave him their names and whatever else was needed. He and his dad stood there and patiently waited for the man to hand them their tickets.

“Out of luck gay face?” snarked a voice from behind them. Buzzcut and the Meerkat had caught up. Kurt hadn’t even noticed them coming. Though he did notice now that a few of the other teams were rushing into the airport.

Burt gave the two a disapproving look, grunting and drawing himself to his full height. “He doesn’t have to answer you.”

Sebastian sneered at the elder Hummel. “Was I talking to you old man?” he quipped. Burt looked affronted and opened his mouth to retort when Kurt stopped him.

“Dad, he’s not worth it,” he said. He was holding their plane tickets in one hand, and had his other resting on his dad’s arm. “We’ve got our tickets. Let’s just go.” Burt hesitated for only a moment but thought better of it and followed his son away from the ticket counter, tossing disapproving glares back at Buzzcut and Meerkat.

“My ass is so much more worth it than yours is gay face!” Sebastian sniped at their retreating backs as he and Hunter stepped up to the counter.   


Kurt acted as if he hadn’t heard the comment and moved on to the security checkpoint. He was used to people like that, having to deal with snobs all the time at work.

Once through the checkpoint and at the boarding area, Kurt began to relax a little. They had about an hour until their flight. He hoped there would be other teams besides Buzzcut and Buzzkill on it, preferably a certain bow tie wearing racer.

“Hi! I guess we’re finally allowed to introduce ourselves!” Kurt turned to look at the speaker. It was the middle aged couple. “I’m Will, and this is my fiance, Emma.”

His dad stood up to greet them, and Kurt followed suit. “I’m Burt, and this is my son, Kurt. Where are you from?” he asked, shaking their hands.

“Iowa. Des Moines. You?”

“Ohio, originally,” Kurt replied. “Dad still lives in Lima, but I live here in New York now. I’m an intern at Vogue.”

“That’s awesome,” the timid sounding Emma said. “And what do you do, Burt?”

“I own my own Tire and Lube shop, though I’ve pretty much only been allowed to run the desk the last few years. What about you two?”

“I teach Spanish to high school students who don’t really want to learn it. Emma is the school’s guidance counselor.”

“There’s another teacher on the race?” a new voice cut in. “Jeff teaches kindergarten. I write children’s books. I’m Nick, by the way.”   


They introduced themselves, as a couple of other teams came over as well, and Kurt was glad that there did seem to be some decent people on the race this year. He was disappointed when he found out none of them were on their flight.

…

“You should have turned there, Squirt!”   


Blaine gripped the steering wheel harder, grinding his teeth almost as much. “I’m following that other team. They seem to know where they are going.” He’d been putting up with the backseat driving for almost forty-five minutes now. He was close to losing it.

They pulled into the designated parking lot a few minutes later, and Cooper was complaining about the fact that they were going to be forced to fly Economy class. Blaine was dismayed to note that there were several cars already there.

“We’re too good to fly Economy squirt!” Cooper wailed as they got out of the car with some difficulty. “Well, I am anyway.” Blaine gave his brother a sharp look.

“And what the hell is that supposed to mean?” he asked, feeling his irritation grow. Why couldn’t he have done this race with someone like Wes? Or David? Or even Trent? The downside to those was that Wes and David probably would have preferred to run the race together and Trent had an issue with confidence. So he was stuck with Cooper. Though, if Blaine had decided to do this on his own, he probably would have picked any partner other than his brother. It didn’t matter who he wanted to be with now. It was Cooper who had talked him into this in the first place.

“That I’m the popular and charming one and you know it! I’m the one who could charm the pants off of anyone!” Cooper said, once more bragging on his favorite topic. Himself.

Blaine groaned. If that was so true, why didn’t he work his magic to get producers to bend the rules then? Not that Blaine would ever want him to do that in the first place. However, aloud, he merely said. “Remind me again why I agreed to do this with you?”

“Because I’m your big brother and you look up to me, Squirt! Literally.”

The curly haired man didn’t bother to tell his brother that was a long shot. Maybe Cooper was taller than him, but Blaine didn’t really see him as someone to look up to. The two Anderson brothers couldn’t be more different. Cooper’s favorite thing was bragging about himself and his arrogance was through the roof. Blaine, on the other hand, was genuine and generous and more likely to put someone else’s needs before his own. Anyone who knew them separately would have a hard time believing they were brothers.   


…

_ “My brother and I haven’t had the greatest relationship,” Blaine said, not quite looking at the camera. “He’s much older than I am, and our parents have always seen him as the Golden Boy of the family. Even though they were disappointed that he went into acting instead of law, they still think he can do no wrong. Even before I came out as gay, I always felt like an afterthought. I guess I agreed to come on this race with him as a way of showing them that I can do everything he can, and maybe even do it better.” _

_ “Make sure you get my good side,” were Cooper’s first words to the camera on him for confessional. “Which is really, all my sides.” He threw that free credit score dot com commercial smile and turned both ways. “But anyway, Blaine has trouble presenting himself as the best. That’s why he should be taking lessons from me. And he still forgets to point when he’s acting.” Cooper pointed at the camera then as he spoke. “I mean, he refuses to believe that pointing is what makes the scene! Pointing and never looking your acting partner in the eye are the keys to great acting! But especially pointing! Have I mentioned how great I am?” _

…

Blaine groaned when he saw that almost every other team was already at the Delta counter. “There’s no way we’re getting on the first flight, or even the second!” Let’s just head down to American now!”

Once they got their tickets and realized they had a while before their plane departed, Blaine decided they should introduce themselves to some of the other teams. Maybe he could find the blue eyed guy and talk to him? Unfortunately the first team they encountered was the creepish guy who had hit on him at the start line and the guy with the military haircut he was teamed with.

“Well hello again, Tiger. I’m Sebastian Smythe, but you can call me anytime!”

“Oh,” Blaine stammered, caught off guard by the other man’s aggressive flirtation. “I’m Blaine, and this is my brother, Cooper. Nice to meet you.” He shook the other man’s hand. “And you are?” He asked the guy with the buzzcut.

“Hunter Clarington.” His tone was clipped and gave the impression that the other man felt superior to everyone else.

“Any chance we’re on the same flight?” Sebastian asked, still looking Blaine over. “I’d love to get to know you better. Maybe we could join the Mile High Club?”

“Save it, Horse Face,” a female voice cut in. “The Sexy Hobbit is on the last flight. I know cause we snagged the last tickets on the second flight. I’m Santana, by the way. This is Quinn. I hope you all are ready to lose, cause we’re gonna kick ass!”

“Oh, Hell to the no!” Another voice cut in. “I ain’t putting myself through all this just to lose to some skinny ass Latina with a boob job!”

Blaine turned to the new voice, and couldn’t help smiling at the dark skinned diva. “Hi! I’m Blaine Anderson, and this is my brother, Cooper.”

“Mercedes Jones, and this my...friend, Sam Evans.”

“Mercedes Jones?” Blaine asked. “I know that name. You’re going to record a new album soon, aren’t you?”

“How do you know that, white boy?”

Blaine smiled wider. “You’re going to record one of my songs!”

“B.D. Anderson?”

“That’s me!”

The big boned goddess crowed in delight and pulled him into a hug. “I can’t believe I’m actually meeting you! I Love the song you wrote for me!”

Another team joined them then. It was the super tall dude and his mother, apparently. They were really nice, but Blaine couldn’t help noticing the guy, whose name was Finn, wasn’t the brightest. The man wasn’t outright homophobic, but Blaine got the feeling he’d never actually met a gay guy before, and that he was a little uncomfortable around Blaine. He was making an effort to be nice, though, so Blaine decided he’d give him the benefit of the doubt for now.

As they chatted, Blaine was still searching for the auburn haired man, even with Sebastian trying to distract him. He finally spotted the mystery man on the other side of the boarding area. He actually took a few steps towards him when a voice came over the PA announcing the boarding of the first flight.

“Well,” Sebastian said, “that’s our flight. Hope to see you at the Pit Stop, Blaine!”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, sure.” He didn’t look at him, still focused on the porcelain skinned man across the way, who was already handing the hostess his boarding pass.

…

_ “All teams are now in flight to Buenos Aires, Argentina via one of three flights,” Phil’s voice intoned. “Flight one consists of Burt and Kurt, Rachel and Jesse, and Sebastian and Hunter. The second flight, which is scheduled to land fifteen minutes after the first, carries Will and Emma, Quinn and Santana, Finn and Carole, and Dave and Azimio. The third flight, scheduled to land forty-five minutes after the first, carries Blaine and Cooper, Nick and Jeff, Sam and Mercedes, and Tina and Mike. _

_ Once there, teams will travel by taxi to Zipline Adventure Tours, where they will receive their next clue!” _

…

“Go! Go, Dad! The cabs are this way!” Kurt said, sprinting to the first taxi in line, smirking to himself as he thought about how the male flight attendant on the plane had blocked Sebastian and Hunter in so Kurt and Burt could have a head start off. Sometimes it paid to be nice to people. It didn’t hurt that Sebastian had made an ass out of himself hitting on the poor guy all throughout the flight.

Glad he remembered the smattering of Spanish and Portuguese he had learned in high school, Kurt gave the cab driver the address, and asked him to go as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, Team Loudmouth was right behind them. He’d learned that the woman’s name was Rachel, and her teammate was Jesse. He’d discovered this when the tiny brunette had announced in an annoying voice that she had just landed a role playing Fanny Brice on Broadway, and that people should feel honored that they got to meet THE Rachel Berry, the Broadway superstar!

“Just shoot me now, please,” He’d muttered to his dad. Burt had just chuckled. Why couldn’t the third team on their flight have been the cute guy in the bow tie? Or even the teacher and his fiance they had met in the boarding area? Heck, he’d even have preferred the mouthy Latina and her partner.

Thankfully, their cab driver seemed to know exactly where they needed to go, and was excited to be on camera.

“No problem! I make sure you are first one there! You guys are racing, right? My cousin in America tell me all about the show!”

And they were the first to arrive, but only by a minute. Rachel and Jesse were right behind them. Kurt spotted the clue box first, and dashed over to it, his dad on his heels. They grabbed a clue and moved off to the side to read it as the other team spotted them.

Kurt ripped open the envelope and began to read out loud as instructed. “Take a Zip Line through the trees. Once both teammates have reached the other side, you will receive your next clue.”

“You know, I always wanted to do a zip line tour!” Burt said, reading the rest of the instructions over Kurt’s shoulder.

“Let’s go!” Kurt said, noticing that the annoying girl and her equally obnoxious teammate were already heading to the queue. He also spotted the slut and his buzzcut partner’s cab pulling up, and didn’t want them getting ahead.

Waiting impatiently behind Rachel and Jesse, Kurt listened to the safety instructor explain each piece of equipment as they helped Burt gear up. A squeal from Rachel indicated that the first team had begun the ride. Kurt silently gave himself a pep talk, as well as reassuring himself that his dad would be fine.

They were led out on to the platform, and once the cameras were set, Kurt watched as his dad stepped up to the ledge. He turned and smiled at Kurt. “This is gonna be fun, Kiddo!” And then he stepped off. “WOOHOOOOOO!”

Kurt laughed at his dad’s reaction, and was still laughing as he took his own plunge down the zip line. The view was amazing! He could see for miles in every direction. Halfway through, he spotted a brightly colored bird flying alongside of him not ten feet away.

It was over much too soon for Kurt, who had never felt anything so exhilarating. Although he could have done without the harsh bump at the end of the line. The sound of Hunter berating the attendant at the top of the line spurred Kurt to move faster as he got the gear off and got the clue from the guide. He could only be too happy that Sebastian wasn’t close enough behind to stare at him, not that he thought he would if how he spoke to him was any indication.

He joined Burt below the platform and they opened the clue together.   


…

“I don’t know why I let you talk me into this, Will.” Something like The Amazing Race was nowhere near the kind of thing Emma Pillsbury would ever want to do on her own. But the redhead was so over the moon for Will, she would do anything he wanted, as long as he was happy.

“Come on, Emma, you’ve been doing so good so far! I believe in you!” Her fiance encouraged as the plane began its descent. Maybe she could do this. She hadn’t panicked yet. Much. That little melt down at the airport when the kid had sneezed on her didn’t count. And she had been taking her medication.

She managed to make it out of the airport, but the moment the filthy cab pulled up, she froze in her tracks. “Will I’m not getting in that cab, it’s filthy.”

…

_ “Emma has OCD and severe anxiety disorder,” Will said, hugging the tiny woman beside him. “She’s been doing so much better since she’s started counseling and taking her meds. I wanted to bring her on this race so she can prove to herself that she can do anything she wants to if she just believes in herself. She’s always telling that to the kids at school, now it's time to live it!” _

...

Will looked back at his fiance, concerned. “Emma, it’ll be okay. We talked about this. Just imagine a pristine white room.”

It took a few minutes to coax the Fae woman into the taxi, and a few other teams had passed them, but their cab driver was insane, driving at reckless speeds. Emma whimpered and kept her eyes closed the entire time, and Will almost regretted asking her to come on this race with him. Maybe he was pushing her too far out of her comfort zone.

Once they reached the Zip Line location and got out of the cab, she calmed down a little, but learning what the challenge was, brought on a whole new realm of issues.

“Are you sure these harnesses are safe?” She asked for the third time. Will tried to reassure her again, but the production assistant cleared her throat.   


“I’m sorry, but if she won’t step off the platform in the next five minutes, the rules say we have to let the next team go ahead of you, and you’ll need to go to the back of the line..”

Will sighed and nodded, knowing his fiance well enough that there wasn’t any way she was going to step off until she was ready. He knew there were at least three other teams behind them from their flight, two of which were waiting behind them. And there were still four teams on the third flight, which wouldn’t be landing for another ten minutes.

“Come on already!” The Latina said. “Would you guys get a move on? We’re in a race here!”

Will ignored her and spoke to the production assistant. “Go ahead and let the others go in front. Let me talk to Emma for a few minutes.”

He led the redheaded woman to the side, pulling her into a hug. “Emma, listen to me. If you say you can’t do this, then we won’t, but before you give up, think of all you’ve already accomplished in the last twenty four hours! You’re a lot braver than you think you are, and you’ve come so far! Imagine what you can accomplish if you really put your mind to it?”

The sound of the all female team whooping in excitement interrupted him, and made Emma flinch, but he didn’t let go of her. “The world is waiting for you, Emma. All you have to do is embrace it.”

He felt her take a deep breath, and pull back. “You’re right, Will. I can do this!”

“That’s my girl! Come on!” By the time they got back in line, the last team from their flight had arrived, and the first team from the third flight.

…

Emma took several deep breaths as she watched the other teams now in front of them, especially the mother and son team. She’d gotten to know Carole and Finn pretty well on the flight, and really admired the woman’s courage. She’d raised her son all by herself, had a high stress job, and was one of the kindest people on the planet. Emma really wished she could be more like the older woman as she watched Carole step off the platform.

Straightening her shoulders, Emma decided she wasn’t going to let the fear keep ruling her life. She watched the other two teams, the footballers and the brothers, take their turns on the lines, and this time when she was instructed to step out on the platform, she did it. She glanced back at Will one more time, seeing him smiling encouragingly at her, she closed her eyes and took a leap of faith.

It was terrifying! It was beautiful! The laughter that bubbled out of her was a mixture of awe and delirium at the view around her when she opened her eyes. Once on the ground, heart pounding and knees shaking, she let out a shriek of pure joy! She had done it!

…

_ “I did it!” Emma beamed at the camera. “I faced my fears head on, and I beat it! And it’s all thanks to Will. I’m so lucky to have him at my side.”   
_

_ Will grinned and kissed her. “I’m the lucky one.” _

...

Will joined her a few moments later, laughing and lifting her up, twirling her around. “I am so proud of you, Emma!” She laughed and kissed him.

“I did it! You’re right Will, I can do anything! What’s next?”

They opened the clue and read it out loud.

“Travel by Taxi to La Bombonera Stadium and search for your next clue!”   


They grabbed their bags and ran to the street, waving down another cab.

They hopped into the taxi that pulled up to the curb. “Go, go, go!” Will shouted. They were still in a race, even if they had to take a little more time than the others to get through the challenges. They still had a chance!

“Where you going Butt Chin? Doe-Eyed Redhead?” came the voice of the driver, and they glanced at each other.

“You’re not Argentinian,” Will responded, looking confused. In fact, the rather tall and intimidating looking woman in the front seat had short cropped blonde hair and was wearing a tracksuit. She had no foreign accent when she spoke and was quite obviously just as American as the rest of them.

“That’s where you’re wrong Butt Chin. One of my great-great-great-great-great uncles was born here in Argentina. Which means I have Argentinian in my blood. Now where are you going?”

Will and Emma again looked at her and the woman pointed to the cab driver’s license taped to the back of her seat. “See? Standard Buenos Aires issued.” Will had half a mind to ask a ridiculous question, but just shook his head.

It was Emma that finally told her where to go. “We need to go to La Bombonera Stadium.”

“You got it Doe Eyes,” the woman said. “Buckle up!” She peeled away from the curb with a squeal of tires that had Emma shrieking. “I did say buckle up.”

…

Jesse climbed out of the cab first, glaring at the driver. “I still say you’re ripping us off! Ten thousand pesos is ridiculous!”

He dropped the money in the driver’s lap and grabbed their bags out of the trunk before stomping over to the clue box.

“Wait for me!” Rachel called out, having trouble slipping her bag on. He stopped and waited before getting the clue. They were in first place, as they should be, and he didn’t want to risk getting a penalty for not following the rule that said they couldn’t open the clue box until their partner was within a specified distance of them.

They opened the clue, and Rachel read it out loud.

“Detour! Swing a Stick or Take a Kick!”

…

_ “A detour is a choice between two tasks, each with their own pros and cons. In this detour, teams must choose between two popular sports in Argentina, Field Hockey and Soccer. _

_ In Swing a stick, teams must score three goals against a National Junior Champion goalkeeper. Teams who have good hand eye coordination may do well in this challenge, but controlling a field hockey ball isn’t the same as indoor hockey, and may present a challenge for the racers. _

_ In Take a Kick, each team member must score two field goals against a Junior National Champion. Teams who are swift and are good with their feet, should have no problem trying to score. But if the racers have never played soccer before, they may find it hard to score against a junior goalie who has been playing all their lives.” _

…

Jesse considered the clue for a moment. Really, it was more a manner of balance, not speed that would play a part in the soccer challenge, and as trained dancers, both he and Rachel had perfect balance.

“Let’s do Take a Kick,” He suggested, and Rachel nodded.

“We have to hurry though, here comes another team.” She nodded her head to the other cab pulling up. The older man and his son who had been on their flight were getting out as they followed the signs for the soccer challenge.

They were each lead to a different changing room, men’s and women’s, and ten minutes later he met Rachel on the field.

They were informed of the rules once more, and then Rachel took the first shot, missing by a mile. Irritated, he set up his first attempt, and while he was closer than his girlfriend had been, he still was way wide. He swore under his breath. This was harder than it looked. At least the old man was having trouble. The son, however, had scored on his first attempt.

It took them half an hour before Jesse finally managed to score, and only because the goalie tripped. By now there were several other teams there, including one team that had been on the third flight.

He was distracted by Rachel crying out in delight when she finally scored her first goal. Good. They each just needed one more goal. The auburn haired guy had scored both of his goals, but his old man had yet to score one. There was no way Jesse would let the other team beat them.

…

“We should definitely do hockey, man!” Azimio said, though Dave wasn’t as sure. Yeah, he’d been on the hockey team in high school, but field hockey was a completely different sport.

“Dude,” Dave said, giving him a serious look. Despite the neanderthal stereotype, or meathead which was also sometimes used, he was quite a bit smarter than people gave him credit for. The problem was, he tended to follow along with the pack rather than be a standout. Which was one reason why he had always bullied Kurt. Not that anyone else knew, but his main reason was because Kurt had no problems with everything, the way Dave did. He wasn’t scared to stand outside the closet and declare it proudly. If Dave were to ever say he was gay, there was no doubt Azimio would likely turn and punch him in the face. So, he had kept quiet and followed the pack.

Dave didn’t realize that all he had said was the one word until Azimio prompted him. “Dude what? It’s hockey right?”

A sigh left the other jock’s lips. “Right. But Azimio, I feel the need to tell you that field hockey is nowhere near similar to hockey hockey.”

“How bad could it be?” the other asked. Dave relented, especially since he overheard the two chicks saying they were going to take that detour, too. There was no fighting his friend on this one. He didn’t bother to tell him either that field hockey was more traditionally played by girls. He was quiet as they walked to the designated field.

Once there, they were both given jerseys to change into, along with some knee and elbow pads. Azimio muttered something about how it seemed the same to him so far. Dave didn’t answer.

The latter’s demeanor changed however when they came out to find who their goalie was. A ten year old girl, stood guarding the goal and Dave smirked. “This? This is their national champion goalkeeper?” he asked.

“Piece of cake,” Azimio said, grabbing the stick and looking at it. “How the hell do you play with this thing?” he asked.

Dave tried to give him a little instruction in the proper way to handle the stick, although he was usually on the other side of the goal, more accustomed to doing the blocking than the scoring. Plus, it felt strange not to have skates on for this. But once he had the ball figured out, he started feeling more confident, and even did a decent job at negotiating his way up the field. Until he tried to take his shot, and almost tripped himself.

Shaking it off, he tried again. At least he’d managed better than Azimio, who couldn’t seem to figure out how to get the ball to go where he wanted. And the girl team was having even more problems than they were.

“That Spanish chick is hot!” Azimio said, distracted from the task at hand for a moment.

Not wanting to comment, Dave changed the subject. “Yo, doofus, get your head in the game!”

It took another half an hour before they scored their first goal.

…

“Goal!” The official cried out, and Rachel jumped up and down in excitement.   


“That’s it! Finished! Get the clue!” They all but snatched the clue from the officiant’s hand and ran off without so much as a ‘thank you.’

Jesse ripped the envelope and read the clue.

“Take one of the marked cars and drive yourselves to Camping Suizo. Look for the Camp guide for your next clue.”

“We should stop at the gas station we saw down the street and get a map and directions,” Rachel said, fastening the race pack around her hips. “I wonder if they have any vegan snacks there? I’m starving!”

The drive was a long one, and it was late afternoon when they arrived at the specified parking area. “You know it’s going to be a Roadblock,” Jesse said as they exited the car.

“Probably. And I’m going to do it! You promised me I could do the first Roadblock, no matter what!”

“Of course, Rachel. And you will perform it like the National Show Choir Championship is on the line!”

They followed the trail and found what they assumed was the Camp Guide, who handed them a clue. Rachel snatched it and opened it.

“Roadblock! Who has a Healthy Appetite? Me of course! I’m vegan, you can’t get more healthy than that!”

…

_ “A Roadblock is a task that only one team member may perform. In this Roadblock, that person has to eat a traditional Argentinian meal, consisting of cow rib, pork sausage, blood sausage, cow intestines, cow udders, an entire kidney, and part of a cow’s saliva gland. Each person’s portion weighs four pounds. When they’ve finished eating, they’ll get their next clue.” _

_ … _

Rachel immediately read the rest of the clue, only to find herself standing stock still and frozen for several moments. Jesse stared at her, confused. Until he looked over her shoulder at the instructions. “Meat?” he asked.

“They. Cannot. Be. Serious.” She pronounced each word as though it were a sentence in itself, still not tearing her eyes from the instructions. “They can’t make a vegan eat meat! You can’t force someone to do something that goes entirely against their beliefs! Money or no money!” She was clearly upset. For more reasons than one. It appeared that when the Roadblock mentioned, ‘Healthy Appetite,’ it meant being able to eat a big portion.

Rachel didn’t move, and Jesse didn’t force her to for the moment. The girl was still for another second before she started stomping and yelling about how this was unjust and unfair and that the producers should allow them to switch in such a case. Because there was no way in hell she was going to eat four pounds of meat. She wasn’t even interested in a small bite.

Jesse looked slightly perturbed, though not at Rachel. He turned to look at the production assistant. “Do you really think this is funny? Forcing people to do stuff that goes against their beliefs? I should sue you when we’re done with this!”

The PA, a petite blonde woman, scowled at him. “You signed a contract. It clearly stated that you agree to do whatever challenge is set before you, and that failing to do so would result in a penalty. She chose to do the challenge. If she doesn’t, you have a four hour penalty that begins the moment the next team arrives.”

Jesse stared the PA down, not at all bothered by her brashness. “Did you know that Rachel is also Jewish? Eating pork is against her religion. And that is something this show can be sued for, contract or not.”

Unperturbed, the woman, Kitty, glowered at him. “You obviously didn’t read the fine print on the contract. But as I said, if she refuses to eat it, then you can sit here for four hours and watch the other teams pass you by!”

As if on cue, a second team arrived, the mother and son, followed closely by the father and son and the Asian couple.

…

When Kurt read the challenge, he briefly considered that this would be something he could do, but then he heard someone (he was pretty sure it was Loudmouth) yelling about having to eat meat.

“I’m doing it, Kurt!” his dad said, sounding determined. “Don’t you dare look at me like that! I’m starving, I haven’t had more than a granola bar and that salad all day. Eating meat isn’t going to kill me!”

Kurt sighed. “Fine. But if anything happens to you, I will raise you from the dead just so I can kill you!”

Kurt almost regretted his words when he saw the huge slab of various meats that was brought out. Now he wasn’t so much worried about his dad’s heart, but whether or not he would choke to death trying to eat all of that. He tried to block out his worry, but he couldn’t block out the fact that Rachel was still throwing a temper tantrum over having to eat meat.   


The blasted woman finally decided to take the penalty, but then proceeded to throw another fit when the PA informed her that the penalty time would begin the moment the next team arrived.

“But you said it would start when they arrived!” She pouted, pointing at Finn and Carole.

The blonde woman smiled cruelly at her. “Yes, but you hadn’t actually declared you were taking the penalty. Once you declare it, the rules say you have to wait for the next team!”

“That’s not Fair!” Rachel whined.

He started to glance over toward the woman to tell her to shut up, but found his gaze falling on the ridiculously tall fellow, who had already eaten one fourth of his meat, where as Burt had barely finished three bites.   


“Finn,” his mom admonished, “Don’t shovel so much food in your mouth at once! I’ve taught you better manners than that!”

Kurt couldn’t help but notice that the older woman seemed to be checking out his dad even as she spoke to Finn. He’d noticed his dad checking her out at the soccer challenge, too. Maybe if they both made it through this leg, they could form an alliance with the other team. His dad deserved to be happy. And he recalled hearing from one of the other teams at the soccer challenge that the woman was a nurse. If nothing else came of the alliance, at least they would have a trained medical professional nearby if his dad needed her.

Another teams’ arrival interrupted his thoughts, and Kurt perked up when he spotted that gelled head. He hadn’t seen the dapper, bow tie wearing man since the airport the day before, and really had only gotten a glimpse of him there. He still didn’t know his name. Hopefully he’d get the chance to find out now.

…

“You do this one, Squirt. Whatever they want you to eat would probably ruin my physique!”

Blaine rolled his eyes, but didn’t argue, and took his seat with the other racers doing the challenge. It looked like enough food to feed a small army, and he was so fixated on what he had to do that at first he didn’t pay attention to who else was there.

“Hey, Kurt, can you bring me a bottle of water?” someone asked, and Blaine glanced over to see the older gentleman he’d seen with the auburn haired beauty the day before at the airport. Looking around, he spotted the angel in question going through one of the backpacks to get a bottle of water.   


Blue eyes glanced his way when the man looked back up, and smiled before handing the bottle over to the older man.  _ Kurt,  _ so that was his name. He smiled back, before Cooper’s voice drew him back to the task at hand.

“Squirt, you haven’t even taken a single bite yet!” Blaine looked back down at his slab of meat, trying to decide where to start.

He’d just picked up the saliva gland when another team arrived. It was Sebastian and Hunter, he noted as he began to chew. He was focusing on the food, just chew and swallow, and didn’t really pay attention to the others around him, not even when Sebastian sat across from him. He finished the gland, and picked up one of the sausages, taking a large bite.

“Mmmm, I love a man who knows how to handle a piece of meat.”

Blaine nearly choked at the words the green eyed man had spoken. There had been no mistaking his meaning, or the obscene way the other man was looking at him. Blaine suddenly knew exactly how his food felt, and almost threw up.

“Would you like some water?” The clear, pure voice came from beside him. He looked up into blue eyes, and felt grateful for the distraction. He swallowed what was in his mouth and accepted the bottle of water the pale man was holding out.

“Thank you, Kurt, isn’t it?” The other man smiled and nodded. “I’m Blaine. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Trying to distract the competition, Hummel?” Sebastian sneered from across the table. “Isn’t that against the rules?”

Kurt rolled his eyes. “Offering someone water isn’t nearly as distracting as having to listen to a randy slut moan while sexually assaulting you with their eyes.”

Blaine almost choked again, this time with laughter, and smiled his thanks once again to the glasz eyed angel, before returning to the task at hand. By now most of the other teams had arrived. He needed to focus and remember that this was a competition.

“Finished!” he heard Finn call out a few minutes later. He glanced over to see that the tall man had licked his plate clean. Damn, he really needed to hurry up! He blocked out everything else and got down to it.

…

“I’m so proud of you, Honey!” Carole said, hugging him as Finn accepted the clue from the guide. Finn just shrugged.

“I was hungry.” They moved out of earshot of the other teams and opened the clue.

“Follow the marked path to the Pit Stop!” They both read out loud.

“Where’s the marked path?” Finn asked, looking around. Carole was the one who spotted the red and yellow route marker across a field.

“There! Come on, sweetie, let’s go!”

…

_ “Camping Suizo is known not only for it’s lush jungle camping experiences and huge Argentinian feasts, but also for its large variety of outdoor activities. This beautiful forest preserve is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race!” _

_ … _

Phil looked up when Marley signaled him that the first team was on the way. As the camera crews hurried to get into place, he called out to the young lady who had been hired to be the Pit Stop greeter for this leg of the race.

“Are you ready, Harmony?” The former Gerber baby was dressed in a traditional Argentinian outfit; blue skirt with a white blouse, with a red shawl draped over her shoulder and yellow sash tied around her waist. Her hair was adorned with yellow and red roses and ribbons.

“Of course! I was born to perform!”

They could hear the team approach, and Phil watched the path eagerly to see who the first team would be. He was only slightly surprised to see that it was the mother and son who reached the mat first.

Harmony smiled widely at them, flashing a dimple and giving them a touch of star quality. “Welcome to Buenos Aires!”   


“Finn and Carole,” Phil said, dramatically. “You are team number one!”

“Alright, dude!” Finn said enthusiastically, as Carole hugged him.

“And, as the winners of this leg, you have won $7500, each, that you can spend after the race!”

“You’re kidding me!” Carole said. “I’ve never won so much as a dollar on a scratch off ticket!”

Phil smiled at her. “How proud are you of how well your son is doing on this race?”

Carole beamed up at Finn. “Very proud! He’s such an amazing young man, and I just know that I couldn’t have done this without him.”

“Finn, what do you think of your mom’s performance on the race so far?”

“She’s awesome! She really kicked butt on the soccer challenge, when a lot of the other teams were struggling. I’m just lucky I get to do this with her! She’s had a rough life, raising me alone after my dad died. I want to win this thing for her, so she can have the life she deserves!”

Phil smiled as the young man hugged his mother tight. This was one of his favorite parts of the show, seeing families support each other. After the camera was turned off, he shook hands with them. “Great job, both of you. Marley will show you to the rest tent. You guys can relax for a while until the other teams arrive.”

It was about half an hour before the next teams arrived.

“Blaine and Cooper, you are team number two!”

“Burt and Kurt, you are team number three!”

“Sebastian and Hunter, you are team number four”

“Dave and Azimio, you are team number five!”

“Tina and Mike, you are team number six!”

“Nick and Jeff, you are team number seven!”

“Quinn and Santana, you are team number eight!!”

…

Rachel paced the clearing in anger and frustration as all the other teams arrived at the challenge, waiting for the four hour penalty to be up. She swore the bratty little PA, Kitty, was secretly resetting the timer to make them wait longer.

She’d been upset as one by one, Finn, Blaine, Burt, Sebastian, Azimio, Mike and Nick had finished the meal and received their clue. Now she was getting more and more desperate as Santana handed over her empty dish and rushed off with her partner, clue in hand. There were just two teams left, and Both Sam and Will were nearly finished.

“How much longer?” She demanded of the smaller blonde.

Before the woman could respond, Sam called out to have the official check his plate. Rachel growled as he and the dark girl rushed off.

“Thirty six seconds,” Kitty said, a smug grin on her face that Rachel wanted to scratch off.

“Twenty...Ten...Five...Time’s up!”

Rachel snatched the clue from the guide, and she and Jesse took off at a run in the direction they had seen the others go, hoping to pass the other team.

…

“Sam and Mercedes, you are team number nine!”

Mercedes shouted in relief and hugged her boyfriend. “It’s been a long day, Phil, but we’re still here!”

Phil smiled at her. “You aren’t out of it yet. Go on and get some rest!”

Mercedes smiled and hugged the host before following a PA off the mat. They could hear Rachel and Jesse behind them, whining about being in tenth place and how unfair the challenge was. Mercedes hoped they got eliminated next. She didn’t think she could go through the entire race listening to that girl’s voice.

…

Will squeezed her hand as they reached the mat, and Emma smiled serenely at him. She knew what was coming, and didn’t mind.   


“Will and Emma, you are the last team to arrive, and I am sorry to tell you, you have both been eliminated from the race.”

She looked at him, smiling sadly. “We know.”

“How disappointed are you that you won’t get to continue?”

She looked up at her fiance. “To tell you the truth, I’m not really disappointed at all, Phil. This race was never about winning the million dollars for us. It was about me overcoming my fears, and realizing that I am much stronger than I ever thought I could be, and I did that. I’m happy with myself.”

Will smiled. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted for her, Phil. For her to be happy. And to all the kids out there watching this, don’t ever let fear hold you back. Being brave isn’t about not being afraid, it’s about being afraid and taking the chance anyway.”

Phil smiled at them both. “You both certainly have much to be proud of. I’m sorry to see you go.”

He watched the couple walk away, holding hands.


	3. Something's Fishy

Kurt breathed in relief as he settled onto the cot in the rest tent at the Pit Stop. Third place was good. And they were ahead of the slutty meerkat with the cheesy pick up lines, and Karofsky. He was sad that Will and Emma had been eliminated, they had been really nice, but he really hadn’t been surprised. Emma just didn’t seem like the competitive type.

“Can I sit here?” He looked up to see Blaine smiling down at him.   


“Sure. Where’s your partner? He’s your brother right?”

Blaine nodded his head, a few curls having sprung loose from the gel in this late hour. “Yeah, unfortunately, Cooper is my brother. But everyone seems to know him from those Credit Card commercials.”

“I thought he looked familiar,” Kurt said with a playful lilt to note he was only teasing. “But really, where is he?”

A snort left the curly haired man, something Kurt found almost irresistibly adorable. “Probably off somewhere practicing his pointing in a mirror or something.” Kurt detected maybe a hint of something negative in Blaine’s tone that he couldn’t quite place, so instead of asking him to elaborate, he decided to change the subject.

“How are you feeling? That was a lot of food for one sitting.”

The darker man smiled at him, sitting beside him on the cot. “I’m fine, thanks. How’s your dad?”

“He’ll be okay, I think. He was talking with that lady, Carole a little while ago. I think they went for a walk. To work off the calories, of course.”

“Of course,” Blaine chuckled. “So, that zip line, how awesome was that?”

“That was amazing!” Kurt said, smilingly brightly at the memory. “There was a bird flying so close to me, I could almost reach out and touch it! It was so beautiful!”

“I spotted a couple of howler monkeys in a tree,” Blaine said, turning to face him more. “They were just sitting there, chilling! It was totally awesome!”

“So, have you gotten to know any of the other racers?” Kurt asked.

They filled each other in about the teams they had talked to, laughing at some of the things they had heard and seen of the others.

“Just be thankful Rachel had stopped whining by the time you arrived,” Kurt told the darker man. “That girl could drive a saint to commit murder! Thank the teapot dwarf she and her boyfriend slunk off somewhere to lick their wounds in private!”

“Rachel?” Another voice inquired, and they looked towards the entrance to find Nick and Jeff entering the tent. “Is that the obnoxiously loudmouthed hobbit girl?” Nick asked.

Kurt smiled at him. “Yes. I had the misfortune to be stuck on a plane with her for nearly eleven hours. I tried to sleep, but she kept whining and complaining about not being able to get comfortable. She even tried to sneak into first class at one point. By the way, have you met Blaine?”

He introduced the other two men he had met the day before at the airport. It was starting to seem like maybe there were quite a few decent teams this year. So far, there were really only three Kurt had any problems with. Team Loudmouth, Team Slut/Buzzcut, and Team Neanderthal. But he also hadn’t met everyone yet.

Nick settled into a seat beside Kurt and Blaine while Jeff continued to stand. “The way I see it, those who act like privileged delicate birds do not deserve to win,” Nick said. Jeff gave his head a nod.

“I teach five year olds that are more patient and selfless than that loudmouth,” Jeff said. “I feel like it’s something that is important to teach children early. If you spoil them from the get-go, they end up brats the rest of their lives. As a kindergarten teacher, you’d be surprised how easy it is to change some of that mentality. But it’s probably because they’re still so young. Children don’t start really remembering stuff and making memories until at least the age of three.”

Blaine glanced in the direction of the cots where the loudmouth and her partner had set their stuff.

As they thought about the annoying girl, they heard swearing in Spanish. They glanced up at the tent entrance as Santana and Quinn entered. It appeared that the blonde woman was trying to calm the fiery Latina beauty down.

“What’s wrong?” Blaine asked.

“I’m going to rip that man’s balls off and force feed them to him!” Santana said, flinging herself down on a cot.

The four men all crossed their legs. Kurt cleared his throat. “Who?”

“Sebastian!” She spat out.

“What did that slut do now?” Kurt asked.

It was Quinn who replied. “They just got into an argument, and he called her a lesb…”

“Don’t even say that word!” Santana said, glaring at her. “No one has the right to label me like that!”

Kurt felt his brow rise for a moment. “Nothing is more insulting to a community than one of their own members insulting them.” He was more so referring to the fact that Sebastian had insulted him, but also that he hadn’t missed where the situation was going and he was trying to hint at Santana that he wouldn’t say anything because while he didn’t believe in denying who you are, he didn’t believe in outing either.

She acknowledged his unspoken support with a half smile. “That guy is a slimeball. I hope he gets eliminated soon!”

Burt and Carole returned from their walk about that time, and joined them, along with Finn, who despite having scarfed down four pounds of meat only a couple of hours ago, had gone to the refreshment tent for something to snack on.

Sam and Mercedes and Tina and Mike also joined them. This was the first opportunity for both Kurt and Blaine to get to know the Asian couple, although Blaine had already met Sam and Mercedes.

“Are you two dating?” Kurt asked the dark skinned goddess.   


Mercedes smiled. “Yes, although most of our friends don’t know about us yet. They’ll find out when the show airs.”

“Why don’t they know?” Tina asked.

It was Sam who answered. “Because I’m white. They think we’re too different, and don’t understand how we feel about each other.”

Kurt frowned in annoyance. “Why can’t people understand that love is love? Why should it matter who a person loves? Skin color is only a description. Same with sexual orientation. You can’t help who you fall in love with. It just happens!”

“Aww!” Mercedes hugged him. “Someday we’ll live in a perfect world where everyone can be who they are meant to be without someone getting offended.”

Kurt hugged her in return, noticing Blaine smiling at him. He smiled back.

The teams chatted for a while longer, getting to know each other better, laughing at Sam’s impersonations, until Carole and Finn, who would be the first to depart, decided they should get ready for bed.

…

_ This is Camping Suizo, an adventure camp located three hours from Buenos Aires, Argentina. This popular jungle campsite was the first Pit Stop in a race around the world. Teams arrived here at the end of the last leg for a mandatory rest period. The ten teams waiting here, have no idea what’s in store for them. _

_ Finn and Carole, who were the first to arrive at 5:36 pm, will depart at 5:36 am. _

…

Carole waited until the PA gave them the signal that it was time, and then ripped open the clue.

“Fly to Lisbon, Portugal! Portugal! I’ve always wanted to go there!”

“Great!” Finn said. “I have no clue where that is, but it sounds like fun!”

They grabbed up their packs and walked quickly towards the parking lot. It was still fairly dark out, and they didn’t want to risk twisting an ankle, or worse. Carole slipped her bag into the trunk, and slid into the backseat with the map, as Finn slipped behind the wheel, adjusting the seat,   


“Burt marked out the route back to the airport for me last night, just in case,” she said, studying the map.

“You like him, don’t you?” Finn observed as he pulled onto the highway.

Carole hoped her blush didn’t show in the camera’s light. “He’s nice,” was her only reply.

“It’s okay, mom. You know you’re allowed to be happy, right?”

She reached forward and squeezed his shoulder. “You’re a great kid, you know that?”

…

_ “My mom really worked her butt off to make ends meet, often working two or three jobs just so I could go to football camp, or whatever.” Finn looked away from the camera, looking slightly ashamed. “The only time she ever treated herself was when she hired that dude to come and do our yard. She’s never really dated anyone since my dad died. It’s kind of nice to see her smiling around a guy. And Burt seems like an okay dude. I just want her to be happy and for someone to take care of her for a change.” _

_ Carole leaned over and hugged him. “Honey, I don’t need someone to take care of me.” _

_ “But you deserve it, Mom!” _

…

They pulled into the parking lot at the airport a few hours later, dropping the car off at the long term lot as instructed and taking the shuttle to the international terminal. After checking all available flights, they booked one that would depart shortly before noon, Argentinian time, and have a layover in Morocco, before arriving in Lisbon early the next morning.

“There will be a couple of teams at least who won’t get on this flight,” Finn noted. “The next one gets there about half an hour later.”

“They said the flight was only half full right now,” Carole pointed out as they settled into the waiting area. “I think Burt and Kurt and those two brothers will make the flight. Maybe the team who came in after them. I don’t think the others will get here in time.”

…

Kurt watched as Blaine pulled out in front of them, and followed them onto the highway, since his dad had given their map to Carole the night before. Kurt had only given his dad a knowing look, and then had made arrangements with Blaine to follow them to the airport, since their Pit Stop departure times were only a couple of minutes apart. Hopefully the three teams could all get on the same flight, and get a good jumpstart on the leg. He wished Nick and Jeff and Sam and Mercedes could be on the same plane as them, but knew the chances were slim, since they had finished the leg so far behind.

During the long drive back to Buenos Aires, Kurt thought about Blaine a lot. Not only was the man H.O.T, he was smart, and talented, liked Disney musicals, Vogue, and classic movies. The man was almost too perfect to be real.

When they reached the airport, they were greeted by Carole and Finn. The former hugged each of them, although the latter seemed a bit reluctant to do more than shake their hands. Carole filled them in on the flight situation, and once they all had their boarding passes, they made their way through security and headed to the boarding area.

“I just hope the slut and buzzcut aren’t on this flight,” Kurt said as he, Blaine and Finn sat together. Burt and Carole were a couple rows over, talking, and Cooper was busy flirting with the woman at the information counter.

Finn looked confused. “You shouldn’t call a woman a slut.”

Kurt and Blaine glanced at each other and it took all they had not to bust up laughing.

“No Finn,” Blaine said, showing remarkable self-control. “He was referring to Sebastian and Hunter.”

Finn looked dumbfounded for just a moment before he had the decency to blush a little bit around the ears. “Oh. That Sebastian guy is kind of a douche,” he said. “And his partner is like, big-headed or something.”

Again, Kurt and Blaine glanced at each other. “The term is pigheaded, Finn,” Kurt corrected, a touch of affection in his voice at the other man’s adorable naivete .

“Oh. I knew that,” Finn said. “I’m hungry, when’s lunch?” he asked next. And this time, Kurt and Blaine did burst into laughter.

“I don’t understand how you can still be hungry,” Blaine said. “You ate that four pounds of meat in no time flat practically.”

Finn shrugged. “My best friend, Puck, sometimes calls me a black hole. I can pretty much eat anything at any time.”

“You know what’s funny?” Kurt threw in after a moment of silence. “You’d think Karofsky and Azimio would have handled that challenge well, but Azimio looked like he was about to hurl part way through.”

“You know those guys?” Finn asked. Kurt sighed and half nodded.

“I don’t know the dark skinned one really, must be some friend Dave met in college or something. But Karofsky…” he trailed off, not really ready to tell anyone about his connection to Dave.

Blaine however, didn’t need words to know where this was going. He placed a hand on Kurt’s arm. “It’s okay Kurt,” he said gently. “You don’t have to talk about it.”

Finn, of course, was a bit confused, and scratched his head in a manner that was not dissimilar to a gorilla, though neither Kurt, nor Blaine commented out loud. After a beat, the really tall guy simply shrugged. He wasn’t the type to push someone to talk about things that were uncomfortable for them.

“Hello, Blaine, did you miss me?” A voice cut into their conversation. Kurt rolled his eyes at Sebastian’s comment, even as Blaine cringed.

“Hello, Sebastian,” Blaine replied, having had manners drilled into him since the cradle. “Are you on this flight?”

The meerkat looked smug. “Yes, fortunately. Now we’ll have time to get to know each other better. That offer to join the mile high club still stands, by the way.”

“Mile high club?” Finn asked, never having heard the term before.

“Never mind, Finn,” Kurt said. “It’s not something any decent person would talk about in polite company.”

Sebastian looked Kurt up and down with a sneer. “And it’s not something you’ll ever be joining, princess. Though I almost didn’t see you because you’re actually wearing boy clothes. In any case, this is an A-B conversation, so I suggest you kindly C your way out of it. No one wants to have sex with you anyway.”

Finn squirmed awkwardly in his seat. The very straightforward and blunt words that came out of Sebastian’s mouth were making him feel extremely uncomfortable. “Um...can we maybe talk about something else?” he asked. But it appeared no one heard him.

“That’s not true,” Blaine said, not realizing how that sounded at first, and then speaking quickly to cover the tense moment. “Kurt and I were having a pleasant conversation, until you interrupted us.”

…

_ “I really kind of like Kurt. He’s sweet and sassy, and did I mention cute?” Blaine said, blushing a little as the camera focused on him. “He makes me feel special. Sebastian on the other hand...I can’t tell if he is just a creeper, or if he is so desperate he is trying too hard.” _

...

Sebastian was very cool for a moment, hiding his distaste for Kurt. Instead, he looked Blaine right in the eye and said, “You know what’s even more pleasant? Feeling me fill you up to capacity with my seed.”

Kurt, who had gone still at Blaine’s words, gave Sebastian a look. “Perhaps Blaine isn’t interested in acquiring a venereal disease from a manwhore who has an overused stick shift like a seventies convertible.”

Blaine and Finn both choked back snorts of laughter at that.

“Speaking of overused seventies cliches,” Kurt continued, “Where’s your buzzed cut partner, and why isn’t he holding your leash?”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but Hunter had to use the bathroom. Why? You want to lick his boots? He’s not into pasty faced twinks.”

Kurt was surprisingly unaffected by the slut’s words. In fact, he was more concerned with the fact that Buzzcut was apparently in the bathroom. Hadn’t that been where he’d been heading when that suspicious delinquent bumped into him the other day? “Something’s fishy,” he muttered under his breath.

“What did you say princess?” Sebastian sneered.

“Nothing. But I’m about as interested in your partner as a dog is in a flea bath.” Kurt wore his famous bitch smirk on his face. “Also, you’re really not that attractive either. Obnoxious CW hair and a smirky meerkat face. Better be careful. If the wind changes, your face will stay that way.”

Before Sebastian could reply, their flight was announced. Blaine made sure to stay close to Kurt and Finn as they boarded the plane, and as far away from Sebastian as possible.

…

_ All teams are now in route to Lisbon, Portugal, on one of two flights. Finn and Carole, Blaine and Cooper, Burt and Kurt, and Sebastian and Hunter are flying to Lisbon via Morocco. Dave and Azimio, Tina and Mike, Nick and Jeff, Quinn and Santana, Sam and Mercedes, and Rachel and Jesse are flying to Lisbon via Cape Town, South Africa. Once they arrive, they will travel by taxi to Castle Sao Jorge, were they will search for their next clue. _

…

Once the first flight landed, the four teams scrambled to get through customs, and reach the taxis. Blaine and Cooper were the first to the waiting cabs, with Finn and Carole on their heels. Burt and Kurt beelined for the only other taxi available, only to have a scuffle with Sebastian and Hunter, who had jumped over a barrier to cut in front of them.   


Buzzcut nearly knocked Burt over, swinging his backpack as the two of them just managed to get into the cab first. Kurt had some choice words for them as the taxi took off, but they had no time to waste. He asked someone to call another taxi for them, but because it was morning rush hour, they were told it would be at least fifteen minutes before another one would be available.

Luck was not on their side at all that day, because the second flight landed early, and they spotted the other teams racing out just as their taxi pulled up. “Castle Sao Jorge, Por Favor, o mais rapido possivel!” Kurt instructed the driver.

As they approached the castle, they could see the yellow and red route marker on top of one of the turrets, and someone was rappelling down the side of the wall. It looked like Cooper.

“Damn, the other teams are already almost finished, it looks like,” he said to his dad.

“It’s okay,” Burt said. “We’re not that far behind, and there are still six other teams behind us.”

Kurt knew he was right, but was still angry about Sebastian and Hunter getting ahead of them. Kurt instructed the driver to wait for them as he and Burt rushed up the marked stairs to the appropriate turret. The clue box was easy to spot once they reached the top, as were the other teams preparing to rappelle down the wall. Kurt didn’t see Blaine, who must already be on his way down, or Carole, though the top of Finn’s head could just be made out as he began his descent. Sebastian and Hunter were just clipping in when Kurt opened the clue envelope.

“Both team members must rappelle down the castle wall to receive their next clue. Only two teams may perform this task at a time. Oh, joy!”

He and his dad were rigged up rather quickly, and once Finn had cleared the line, Burt was clipped in. Kurt was studiously ignoring Sebastian, watching his dad make his descent. A little less than halfway down, Burt slipped, and slammed his shoulder into the wall.

“Dad!” he shouted, fear evident in his voice. “Are you okay?”   


Burt looked up at him. “I’m fine, kiddo! Might have a bruise after this, but nothing I can’t handle.” Kurt breathed a sigh of relief. At least until the next team arrived.

“Well well, look who it is, Dave, the little fairy!”

Kurt froze. He’d managed to avoid the jocks since the airport the first day, only catching glances of them at the challenges. He was so lost in his head for a moment, he didn’t notice the rigger signaling to him to clip in.

“What’s wrong, Homo? Too chicken to go down?” Karofsky taunted. Something in the jock’s tone of voice had Kurt back in that locker room, feeling weak and helpless, and so dirty his skin crawled. It wasn’t until he heard Rachel’s voice coming up the stairwell that Kurt snapped out of it.

He wasn’t a weak, helpless teenager anymore. He forced all thoughts out of his head and focused on getting down the wall. It was harder than it seemed, and the jocks passed him, throwing insults at him as they went.

“Yo, Hummel, answer me something,” Karofsky said when he was even with Kurt, quiet enough so only Kurt could hear him. “When you kiss other guys, do you think about me?”

Kurt’s stomach twisted, and he felt like he was going to throw up. He had to fight to keep his grip on the ropes as he lost his footing. The only thing that kept him from smacking face first into the stone walls was the camera mounted to his helmet. He could hear Karofsky laughing as the larger man continued down the line.

Closing his eyes, Kurt took a few deep breaths.

“You okay up there, kiddo?” His dad called out. When he looked down, he saw Burt glaring at Karofsky. There was no way his dad had missed what had happened.

“I’m okay, dad. Really. Nothing I can’t handle,” He said, echoing his dad’s words from a few minutes ago. He finally reached the ground just minutes after the jocks received their clue.

“What did that lunatic say to you?” His dad demanded.

Kurt just shook his head. “Not now, dad. Later, okay? Let’s just get on with it. Here, you read the clue.” He handed his dad the envelope.

“Travel by taxi to Mercado 31 de Janero and search for your next clue. Caution, double u turn ahead!”

“Well, Fu…”

…

_ “A U Turn allows one team to slow down another team by forcing them to perform both sides of the detour.” _

…

Blaine was worried when he didn’t see Kurt and his dad at the first task, but knew he had to keep his head in the game. Throughout the taxi ride from Castle Sao Jorge to the Mercado, he thought about if they should use one of the u turns, and if so, on who? As far as he knew, they were in first place, so it’s not like they needed the extra time on the other teams.

And what if he and Cooper needed a little breathing room further down the line? They could only use the u turn once. If they used it now when they really didn’t need it, they might be screwed three or four legs down the line, or whenever the other u turn would be offered, assuming there was another one offered. But what about Kurt? He and Burt might need a little help if something had held them up. He thought about u turning Sebastian and Hunter, who weren’t too far behind them, just because he could, but knew that was petty.

Cooper tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention. “There’s the u turn, Squirt!”

Blaine glanced out the window and spotted the u turn mat, and the clue box not far away. “We’re not u turning anyone,” he said emphatically.   


“Why not?” Cooper demanded as he got their bags out of the trunk.

“Look around, Coop! We’re in first place, we don’t need to use it. Besides, we might need it later.”

Cooper pouted for a moment, probably having pictured the dramatic scene in his head of using the u turn. “Fine.”

They stepped on the mat, and Cooper faced the camera. “We are not u turning anyone.” You would have thought it was the President announcing some national tragedy on live TV.

“Drama queen,” Blaine muttered under his breath as they jogged to the clue box.

“Detour,” he read after ripping open the clue. “Sort it or Schlep it.”

…

_ “In this detour, teams must choose between two different tasks common among the fishmongers in Lisbon, Sort it or Schlep it. In Sort it, teams must correctly sort six varieties of fish, until they have twenty pounds of each. The task isn’t physically demanding, but those who don’t pay attention to detail might find it difficult to identify the correct fish. _

_ In Schlep it, both team members must carry a whole fish from the dock to the marked market stall, one mile away on foot. The task is very straight forward, but the fish are heavy and unwieldy, and teams may find it difficult to carry them. _

…

They were still debating which detour to take when Finn and Carole arrived. Blaine was so happy to see them. “Have you seen Burt and Kurt?”

“They were just getting to their clue when I was starting down the wall,” Finn said, and Blaine let out a sigh of relief. They should be fine, if the other plane landed a half hour after theirs had.

“I think we should do Sort it,” Carole suggested to Finn.

“I think that’s the one we’re going to do, too,” Blaine said.

…

“I’m gonna u turn the little faggot!” Azimio whispered to Dave as they got out of the taxi at the Mercado. “Don’t need his pansy ass spreading pixie dust all over the place!”

Dave just shrugged. The less he had to put up with Kurt Hummel flashing that perfect ass at him, the better. “Go for it.”

“We choose to U Turn Burt and Kurt,” the darker jock said, selecting the appropriate photographs and posting them.

…

Kurt swore fluently in three languages when he saw that they had been U Turned.

“Kurt, I may not be as world savvy as you, but even I can tell you are cursing. Knock it off.”

“Sorry, dad, it just makes me so mad that they did this to us!”

“I get it, kiddo. But we need to decide what we’re going to do now.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, do we U Turn someone else?”

That was a good question. They could U Turn Loudmouth and her partner, who were right behind them, but so were four other teams. What if they wasted their U Turn, and then needed it later?

“No, let’s just get the detours out of the way. Hurry, there’s Rachel and Jesse now!” They moved to the clue box, quickly deciding to do Sort it first. As they were looking around for the marked fish stalls, he saw that the other team had chosen to U Turn someone. He couldn’t tell for sure from here, but it looked like Sam and Mercedes.

“Over here, Kurt!” his dad said, having found the marked stall. As he got closer he spotted a head of gelled hair, some of the curls breaking free as Blaine wiped sweat from his brow. He was so focused on Blaine he didn’t notice that Finn and Carole were also there.

They all looked up as Kurt and Burt approached, Blaine smiling brightly as he spotted Kurt.

“There you are! I was getting worried. What happened?” The darker man seemed genuinely happy to see him, and the feeling made Kurt’s heart beat in doubletime.

“Buzzcut almost knocked my dad over at the airport and stole our taxi. And then I had a run in with Dave and Azimio at the Castle. They U Turned us, by the way.”

“What?”

“Blaine,” Cooper said from the hazel eyed man’s other side. “Pay attention, that was a cuttlefish you just put in with the sardines!”

Kurt didn’t want to distract the other team anymore, so set about helping his dad start the process of sorting the fish. Unfortunately, Rachel and Jesse took the next marked sorting area, and her incessant chatter made it impossible for anyone else to talk. It was so distracting, Kurt wasn’t even sure when Tina and Mike arrived. He was guessing Quinn and Santana and Sam and Mercedes had chosen the other detour.

Kurt had a real eye for detail, so they were about a third of the way finished when Blaine and Cooper got their clue. Finn and Carole were done not long after. Somehow, Rachel and Jesse managed to finish at the same time as Burt and Kurt, and got their clue, while Kurt and his dad headed to the second half of the detour.

“I’m going to smell like fish for weeks!” Kurt complained as he hoisted the twenty pound sea bass over his shoulders. “We had better win the million dollars so I can burn these clothes and get new ones!”

His dad just laughed, easily slinging the large fish over his shoulder. They took off at a slow, awkward jog. They were about halfway when they passed Sam and Mercedes.   


“Did you get U Turned too?” He asked them.

“Yeah,” the diva scowled. I hate Rachel and Jesse. If I get eliminated today, please don’t let them win!”

“I’ll do my best!” He blew her a kiss and hurried to get to the marked stall and deposit their fish. In all honesty, Kurt didn’t want the loudmouth to win either. She didn’t deserve to, the way she acted like everything should be handed to her on a silver platter. Not even the blonde girl who was partnered with the feisty Latina was that stuck up and Kurt got the notion that she came from a bit of a more prominent background.

He shifted the weight of the fish in his arms. He was probably someone people thought wouldn’t be able to carry a twenty pound fish, but Kurt was a lot stronger than people gave him credit for. He found himself almost wishing they would pass the dumb jocks on their way with the fish just so he could smirk and show how the weight wasn’t slowing him down. However, he didn’t have the faintest idea where the two jocks even were. Perhaps that was for the better right now.

“Maybe I should have spent more time running laps at the gym,” Burt chuckled. Kurt could hear his dad’s breathing increase and he threw the older Hummel a look of concern. “I’m alright Kurt. Just haven’t run like this since I busted out my knee playing football in JC.” Kurt still looked a little wary of his dad’s words, but he said nothing.

They rounded a bend and Kurt found this road to be a bit more winding, with interesting looking shops. Perhaps if they weren’t stuck here because of the blasted U Turn, he might have taken a more scenic pace.

Finally, some stalls came into view and Kurt realized the market was up ahead. They had to find one of the marked stalls. He noted a couple with a sign saying,  _ No deliveries _ that had been hung, over what looked like a marked flag.

“So we can’t deliver to stalls the other teams have already delivered to,” he thought aloud.

“What was that kid?” Burt said, huffing beside him as the two finally slowed their pace in the midst of the market.

“Every team has to deliver to their own stall,” he told his dad. It was then that he spotted a marked stall. “There’s one!” he shouted, pointing to it. He and his dad hurried over.

The fishmonger had their head down, sorting a few smaller specimens on the cart, but even from that angle, Kurt could tell they had short blonde hair and were wearing a fisherman’s apron over a tracksuit. He almost felt like calling the fishmonger out for a fashion faux pas, but thought better of it. Fishmongers weren’t meant to be fashionable in the first place.

“Um hi,” he finally said. “We have fish for you.” The fishmonger looked up and only then did Kurt note she was a very intimidating looking woman. “You don’t look very Portuguese to me,” he said.

“Kurt!” Burt scolded with wide eyes.

Kurt did not act reprimanded. He had never really been one to hold back when he felt something was wrong.

“Well, Porcelain, my mother’s uncle’s sister married a gorilla from Portugal,” the fishmonger said.

“A really big guy?” Burt asked as he and Kurt dropped their fish on the cart.

“No, I mean an actual gorilla.” Her tone was dead serious, as though she didn’t realize that everything she was saying was just some of the most ridiculous things the two Hummel men had ever heard.

Kurt and Burt glanced at each other, perhaps slightly worried for this woman. Neither of them knew exactly what to say so they both decided it would be best to just cut to the chase.

“Do you have our clue then?” Kurt asked.

The woman reached into her tracksuit and pulled out the clue. “Here you go Porcelain, Capman.” She handed the clue to the pair.

“Um...thanks,” Kurt said. He and his dad turned to hurry off to read the clue.

“Make your way on foot to Estacionamento público número quatro, and locate the marked cars. From there, drive to Dolce Vita Tejo in Amadora.” Kurt asked a passerby for directions to the parking lot. “It’s back by the first task. Let’s go pay the cabby and get our bags.” When they reached the parking lot where the marked cars were they were dismayed but not surprised when they discovered there were only two cars left.

...

“What do you think the odds are we won’t be eliminated today?” Sam asked as they sorted their fish.

His girlfriend shrugged. “Slim to none, I’d say. I don’t know why Rachel and Jesse decided to U Turn us. Quinn and Santana are a much stronger team, and were right behind them, but no, they had to U Turn us!”

Sam stopped what he was doing and pulled her into a hug. “She’s just jealous because when she tried to start that sing along on the airplane, you out sang her note for note!”

“I can’t help it if my voice over powered hers. She shouldn’t have been trying to sing Aretha anyway. She should have just stuck with show tunes!”

…

_ “That girl thinks she’s God’s gift to the universe!” Mercedes, glared at the camera. “Mercedes Jones is no one’s back up singer! I shine in the spotlight all on my own!” _

_ Sam smiled at her. “My girl is gonna be a star! She’ll be recording her debut album when we get back. You wait and see, she’s gonna burn up the charts! Inferno, baby!” He said in an Austin Powers voice. _

_ ... _

Sam chuckled, and turned back to the task at hand. They finished about five minutes later, and got their clue. They weren’t surprised to find that there was only one car left in the lot.

…

“Isn’t that Sebastian and Hunter?” Blaine asked as they pulled up into the marked parking area at what appeared to be a very large mall. “How did they get here before us? They were behind Finn and Carole when we left the castle.”

Cooper really wasn’t paying attention as he pulled into a parking spot. “Who knows. Maybe they got through the other detour quickly. Do you see the clue box, Squirt?”

Blaine looked around as they got out of the car, but his mind was still on how the other team had gotten here so fast. Even if the other detour was easier, the other team would have had to travel back to the Mercado to pay their cab driver and get their bags. Unless they didn’t have their cab wait for them, unlike everyone else.

“Over here, Squirt!” His brother was running towards a red and yellow flag, and he sprinted to catch up. Cooper ripped open the clue and read out loud. “Roadblock! Who wants to hang around?”

…

_ “In this Roadblock, one team member must use an ascender to climb a rope to the second level of this shopping mall. Once there, they will wash windows until they find one that will tell them their next destination.” _

_ … _

“I did the last one,” Blaine said.

“So? That doesn’t mean you can’t do two in a row. Besides, I don’t want to look ridiculous.”

Blaine rolled his eyes. “Fine, but you’re doing the next one, no matter what!” He opened the second half of the clue to read the instructions. After being led over to the rigger and geared up, and receiving a quick lesson on how to use the ascender, Blaine began the tedious job of lifting himself off the ground.

…

Kurt pulled into the marked parking lot just in time to see Hunter and Blaine both lowering themselves to the ground from the second story of what appeared to be a very large mall. Six other teams were in various stages of completing whatever the task at hand was. It looked like they were washing windows.

“I’ll do this one, Dad,” he decided once they read the clue. Blaine was just getting his next clue from the rigger as Kurt was getting geared up.

“How hard is it?” He asked.

Blaine smiled at him. “It’s tricky going up at first, but once you get the hang of it, you’ll be fine. Good Luck!”

“Thanks!”

Once he began the climb, he understood what Blaine had been talking about. At first figuring out the rhythm of push and pull was hard, but once he got it down, he made up a little time on the other teams. Dave glared at him from about twenty feet away on the ledge, but Kurt ignored him and began cleaning his section of windows.   


There were ten large windows in his section, and each one seemed to be smeared with a mixture of used motor oil and honey, making them difficult to clean. By the time he finished his first window, Jesse and Dave had found their clues and were making their way back down. Jeff was making his descent when Kurt finished his third window, Carole by the time he finished his fourth. That was also when Sam and Mercedes arrived.

Tina and Quinn both finished as Kurt started his seventh window. Unlike the previous six, Kurt noticed something written in white grease paint on the inside of the window. He began to scrub harder, and soon made out the words “Queluz National Palace.”

“Please let that be the clue!” He muttered to himself.

He began lowering himself down, passing Mercedes as she made her ascent. “Hang in there, ‘Cedes!” You aren’t out of it yet!”

“Go get them, white boy!” She waved as she continued to climb.

Once at the bottom, Kurt Blurted out the words he had seen written on the window. “Queluz National Palace!”

He shouted in triumph as he was handed his clue. “Dad! Come on! I’ve got the clue!”

They opened the clue and read it out loud together. “Drive yourselves to the next Pit Stop!”

…

_ Queluz National Palace is an 18th century palace located at Queluz, in the Lisbon District of Portugal. One of the last Rococo buildings to be designed in Europe, it was built as a summer retreat for Dom Pedro of Braganza. This magnificent structure is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race. The last team to check in here, may be eliminated! _

…

Phil stood by the mat, waiting for the first teams to arrive. Marley had informed him that there were two teams that were very close, and to be prepared for a foot race between them.

“Ms. Landries? Are you ready for this?”

The older woman frowned at him. “I have no idea what the hell I am doing here! I’m supposed to be on vacation, the first one I’ve had in twenty five years, and suddenly my boss is calling me up and telling me to get my butt over here to cover for him because his wife decided she’d rather vacation in Monaco than Portugal and he needs me to fill in for whatever the hell this is! Do you know how much money this show is wasting with all these people standing around doing nothing?”

Phil was a bit taken aback by the woman’s tirade, but didn’t have time to comment as he heard the sounds of shouting in the distance. He spotted four men coming around a corner, jostling each other for position. The taller brother tripped, and Sebastian and Hunter reached the mat first.

The woman, who had refused to wear the costume they had selected for her and instead wore her grey suit over a black floral print blouse, didn't even crack a smile. “Welcome to Portugal, I have never been so bored!”

Phil coughed, and then addressed the teams. “Sebastian and Hunter. You are team number one! And as the winners of this leg you have won a pair of Dune Runner 4x4s that you can enjoy after the race. Congratulations.”   


He waved the other team over. “Blaine and Cooper, that makes you team number two! Second leg in a row you’ve come in second.”

“Yeah, well, Phil, you can’t win every leg,” Cooper said. “We’ll win the million dollars, that’s all that matters.”

...

Blaine was uncharacteristically quiet, with one eye on Phil and the other watching Sebastian and Hunter who were celebrating in an ‘in your face’ sort of way. He was still thinking about how the hell they could have gotten ahead of everyone else. Something wasn’t right. He smelled a rat. More than one perhaps. But with no proof, he held his tongue.

…

_ “Did I rub it in their faces when we beat them to the mat?” Hunter asks as he faces the camera, back ramrod straight. “A little, but who cares? The only thing that matters is that we won. To the Victors go the spoils, and I shall not be defeated!” _

_ ... _

“Rachel and Jesse, You are team number three!” Phil said. He had discreetly placed cotton in his ears when he’d learned who the next team to arrive would be, not wanting his eardrums to burst when the petite jewish girl began shrieking about how unfair it was that they weren’t first.

“Nick and Jeff, you are team number four!”

“Dave and Azimio, you are team number five!”

“Finn and Carole, You are team number six!” He could see the disappointment on their faces that they had fallen so far from first place, but also read the determination there to do better on the next leg.

“Tina and Mike, you are team number seven!”

“Quinn and Santana, you are team number eight!”

…

Burt parked the car in the designated spot, and as they got out, he hugged his son. “No matter what happens when we get there, we did our best, and I am very proud of you!”

Kurt hugged him back, just as tight. “I love you, Dad, and I am proud of you too!”

They collected their packs from the trunk and walked hand in hand to the mat. “We’re here, Phil,” Burt said.

The host looked at them with that very serious expression he has when the news isn’t what you want to hear.

“Burt and Kurt, you are…” He paused dramatically, before breaking into a grin. “Team number nine! You are still racing!”

“Yes!” Kurt shouted and hugged his dad again. “Thank you Phil!” He said, and hugged the host as well.

Phil patted him on the back. “How great is it to be on this journey with your dad?”

“It’s amazing, Phil! My dad has always been my hero, and I love him so much, and I really believe this race has brought us closer together!”

“Burt, what would you say to people who question your son’s abilities based on their observations of him?”

“I’d tell them to read the book, stop staring at the cover. Yeah, people may look at him and dismiss him because of the way he dresses and acts, but if they took the chance to know him the way I do, they’d see he’s someone you don’t want to mess with. He’s tough, and so much stronger than people give him credit for, both mentally and physically. We may be at the back of the pack currently, but you watch us, we’ll be kicking ass and taking names!”

Phil laughed and shook their hands before they were escorted off the mat. It was almost an hour before the final team arrived.

“Sam and Mercedes, you are the last team to arrive. I’m sorry to tell you, you have both been eliminated from the race.”

Mercedes nodded, and hugged Sam. “We did the best that we could, and I think this experience has solidified our relationship. Our friends back home are just gonna have to get used to the idea that we love each other.”

Sam rubbed her back a moment and looked at Phil. “We did kind of figure that we would be last so at least we were a bit prepared.”

Phil gave his head a nod and looked at the two of them. “What do you think happened?” he asked.

“Rachel was probably jealous of Mercedes for having a more powerful singing voice than her,” Sam said.

Mercedes got a slightly angry look on her face. “That girl hates anything that doesn’t make her the center of the universe. It’s her way or the highway. I can’t wait to see someone knock her down a peg or three!”

Phil watched the couple walk away, truly sad to see them go.


	4. If He Had a Nose, I'd Punch Him in It!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case you didn't notice, chapter titles are taken from something someone says in the chapter. This is in accordance with episode titles of The Amazing Race being done the same way.

“If you’re looking for Kurt, he’s still in the shower,” Quinn said as Blaine came into what must have been the ballroom of the Palace, but for now had been turned into a mass dormitory for the racers. He smiled at the pretty blonde woman.

“Thanks. Where’s Santana?”

Quinn smiled. “Getting something to eat. She’ll be pissed if she finds out I told you, but flying makes her nervous, so she didn’t eat anything on the plane, and we only had time to make one quick restroom stop at a gas station on the way to Amadora, so all she’s had to eat today is a couple power bars.”

Blaine laughed softly. “I promise I won’t say anything to her.”

Quinn sat down on one of the cots, and Blaine sat on the one across from her. “Your brother is Cooper Anderson, the free credit score guy, isn’t he?”

Blaine held back a sigh. “Yeah, that’s Coop.”

“Is your dad Richard Anderson?”

Frowning in confusion, Blaine nodded. “How did you know that?”

“He’s a business associate of my dad’s. I didn’t really put two and two together until earlier today.”

“I thought you looked familiar! I think I met your dad a couple of times,” Blaine said. “Russell Fabray? He had a picture of you on his desk the first time I met him at his office, when my dad was trying to get me to give up music and take an interest in his business. The second time I visited his office, your picture was gone.”

Quinn looked down at the floor. “My dad disowned me when I got pregnant out of wedlock. I was sixteen then. I could say it was the biggest mistake of my life, but then I wouldn’t have Beth, my daughter. I was going to place her up for adoption, but once I saw her after she was born, I couldn’t give her up.”

Blaine reached out and squeezed her hand. “Sometimes the biggest mistakes we make in our lives lead us to where we’re truly supposed to be.”

She looked back up at him, smiling in thanks. Neither of them spoke for several moments, both lost in thought when Carole and Burt came in. The nurse seemed to be fussing at the mechanic about the huge bruise on his shoulder.

“I’m fine, Carole. I’m going to put some ice on it. I already had the medic look at it and he said everything was fine. Trust me, Kurt has already talked my ear off about being more careful!”

Blaine stood up as the older pair joined them. “Hello, Mr. Hummel, sir! That is a nasty looking bruise! That isn’t from Hunter knocking you with his backpack, is it?”

“None of this Mr. Hummel or sir nonsense. Call me Burt! And no, I slammed into the castle wall when I lost my footing on the rappelle. As for that Hunter character, he’s a slimeball who plays dirty. I’ll just have to pay better attention when he’s around.”

“You really can’t afford to pay anything,” said an already very familiar voice. Kurt had entered the dormitory, looking almost nothing like having had just taken a shower. Even ready for bed he looked impeccable to Blaine. “That’s why we came on this race!”

“I wonder where we’re going next?” Jeff said as he and Nick joined them.

“Who knows?” Santana said, also joining them. Tina and Mike were right behind her. “I just hope the hobbit isn’t on my flight. I might strangle her with my bare hands.”

“You shouldn’t say things like that,” Mike said, sitting on a cot next to his girlfriend. Finn joined them as well.

“I don’t know why everyone dislikes Rachel,” Finn said. “She seems okay to me. A little loud, maybe.”

Everyone stopped and looked at him. Tina broke the tension by changing the subject. “It seems weird not having Mercedes and Sam here.”

Blaine nodded. “I liked Mercedes, she had a great attitude. And she’s an amazing singer.”

“You’re not just saying that because she is recording one of your songs, are you?” Tina teased, and they all laughed. “Seriously though, it’s sad to think that most of us won’t get to finish the race. It’s been so much fun, and we’re only two legs in! I want to get as far as we can, but I don’t want to see any of you guys go, either!”

“Aww, that is so sweet!” Kurt said. “And very naive. But still, I know what you mean. Some people deserve to be here more than others! And some people deserve a case of laryngitis!” He said as they heard Rachel’s whining approaching from down the hall. The arrival of the obnoxious pair pretty much ended their friendly conversation, and they all wandered off to get ready for bed, except Nick and Jeff, who were sleeping in cots next to Blaine’s, and continued to chat with Kurt and Blaine a little longer.

“So, how did you two meet?” Blaine asked them.

Nick blushed. “We were set up on a blind date, but with the wrong person! My cousin, Leanne, set me up with her roommate’s brother, who turned out to be a complete jerk.”

“And my sister, Kate, set me up with her brother in law, who could only talk about one subject the entire night, the experiment he was working on with chicken eggs. He was a scientist. Nick and I met at the bar when we both decided we needed a drink to get through our dates.”

“We talked so long, our dates came looking for us,” Nick continued. “Turns out they were exes, just getting over their break up. They ended up getting back together, and Jeff and I have been together ever since.”

Blaine laughed. “Well, that is an interesting story you can share with your kids one day. I assume you both want kids, since you both work with children?”

Jeff smiled and nodded. “I love kids, they always make me smile, no matter how bad I may be feeling that day.”

“I have six nieces and nephews,” Nick said, hugging his boyfriend. “They call me their ‘Cool Uncle Nick,’ and always say I should have kids of my own someday. I’d love to have a daughter with my eyes and Jeff’s hair.”

Kurt giggled. “She sounds beautiful. I hope you have her some day!”

As they settled down for the night, Kurt imagined a little girl with his eyes and Blaine’s hair. He drifted off to sleep with a smile on his face.

…

_ A Rococo masterpiece with lush architecture and sprawling gardens, Queluz National Palace was the second Pit Stop in a race around the world. Teams arrived here for a mandatory rest period. The nine teams waiting here, have no idea what’s in store for them. _

_ Sebastian and Hunter, who were the first to arrive at 3:06 pm, will depart at 3:06 am.” _

…

Blaine and Cooper stood off to the side as they waited for the other team to depart. Their official departure time was one minute after Sebastian and Hunter, despite being only seconds behind them to the mat.

They were far enough away from the other team that when the PA signaled them to open their clue, neither Blaine nor Cooper could hear what they were reading. Not that it mattered, they’d know soon enough what the clue said. Sebastian and Hunter took off, and the PA gave the second team the go ahead to move onto the departure mat. As soon as they were given the signal, Blaine tore open the envelope and read the clue.

“Fly to Giza, Egypt!”

“Egypt? Perfect!” Cooper crowed. “I can use this as part of my audition tape for the new Mummy movie! Brendan Frasier is getting much too old to play the dashing hero!”

“Yeah, whatever. Come on, let’s get to a travel agency. I doubt the airport is open yet.” They made their way to the road, and flagged down a taxi. “Where’s the closest travel agency?”

The driver thought for a moment. “There is one not far from here. I take you.”

Five minutes later the driver dropped him off in front of the agency, which was thankfully open twenty four hours. They asked the driver to wait for them to take them to the airport.

“Hello you fine handsome gentleman,” Cooper said as they entered the agency. Blaine rolled his eyes and shook his head. Great, now Cooper was going to put on an act, a very bad one, which unfortunately, other people seemed to swoon over. But other people didn’t really understand the difference between a good show, and someone who was overdoing it, like Cooper always did. Not that Blaine ever told him. He wouldn’t listen to him anyway.

The man behind the desk looked up with a smile, despite the odd hour of the morning. “What can I do for you?” he said. His English was very good, but his accent was a bit thick.

Cooper flashed one of those Credit Score commercial smiles and took a seat at the desk. Blaine decided he didn’t want any part in this particular interaction, so he stood quietly by looking at all the postcards on the walls.

“We need to get to Giza, Egypt on the quickest possible flight you have please. And by the way, that shirt looks really good on you. Have you heard my Irish brogue before?” Cooper said, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

“Oh brother,” Blaine muttered under his breath.

However, as he had predicted, the man seemed charmed by Cooper’s cheesy way of flirting, even if there was no way of knowing if he was interested in men. He smiled back at the older Anderbrother and started typing on his computer.

“Giza is very hot,” he said as he typed.

“Just like me then,” Cooper replied, using his very bad imitation of an Irish accent and the agent laughed.

Blaine tuned out the rest of the conversation, thoughts drifting off to Kurt. He hoped the auburn haired man and his dad managed to catch up today, and not get eliminated. He really enjoyed the other man’s company. He’d really like to get to know him better after the race.

“Ready, Squirt?” Cooper said, having apparently finished the transaction. As they headed back out to the waiting cab, Cooper grinned in triumph. “I managed to convince Diego to give us a free upgrade to first class!”

“What? Cooper, no! That just isn’t right!”

“Come on, Squirt, live a little!” Blaine just shook his head and got into the cab. Maybe he’d offer to switch seats with someone on the flight. He kind of hoped Kurt would be on the flight with him, and wanted to sit next to him, but didn’t think that would happen. If he was lucky, there would be at least one other team on the flight he could stand to be near for the six plus hour long flight.

…

Kurt waited for their cue to open the clue, wondering if Blaine was already on a plane to wherever. Probably not yet, since it was still an hour until dawn, and he doubted the airport would open for another hour. His dad nudged him in the side when he missed the PA’s signal.

Shaking his head to clear it, he ripped open the envelope. “Fly to Giza, Egypt, then travel by taxi to the Giza Plateau.”

“We’re going to see the Sphinx!” his dad said, enthusiastically. “Should we stop at a travel agency, or just head to the airport? It should be open by the time we get there.”

Kurt shrugged. “Let’s just get to the airport.”

Once again, Carole and Finn greeted them once they arrived. “Hurry, there are only a few seats left on our flight. You’ll just have enough time to get tickets and get through security!”

“Where’s Blaine?” He asked.

“Their flight is just about to board,” Finn said.The taller man seemed more comfortable around Kurt now, and even gave him a one armed hug. The pale man appreciated the gesture.

“You two better get to the boarding gate, I wouldn’t want you to miss your plane. We’ll hopefully see you there in a few minutes.”

He and his dad got to the ticket window, and just managed to get the last tickets on the second flight. They had to sprint to get to security, and from the checkpoint to the boarding gate, arriving just as last call was announced.

…

_ “All teams are now flying to Giza, Egypt, on one of two flights. Sebastian and Hunter, Blaine and Cooper, Rachel and Jesse, Nick and Jeff, and Dave and Azimio are on the first flight, while the second flight carries Finn and Carole, Tina and Mike, Quinn and Santana, and Burt and Kurt. _

_ Once they land, they will travel to the Giza Plateau, where they will search for their next clue.” _

…

Blaine frowned and moved his arm for the fifth time. He had switched seats with an older gentleman who had been sitting beside Nick and Jeff, explaining that he’d like to sit next to his friends, and that the gentleman would probably be more comfortable in first class. The man had graciously accepted, and Blaine had settled into the aisle seat next to Jeff. Unfortunately, Sebastian was in the seat directly behind him, and kept distracting him.

The green eyed man had leaned forward and whispered lewd comments into his ear, and when that hadn’t gotten the reaction he’d wanted, had begun tracing Blaine’s muscled biceps between the seats.

“Why don’t you tell him to stop?” Jeff whispered.

Blaine hadn’t been aware the blonde man had noticed what was going on. “I’m hoping that if I ignore him, he’ll get the message and stop,” He whispered back, moving his arm once more.

“Do you want to change seats?” Nick offered. Blaine just shook his head. They’d be landing soon. He raised the arm rest, and let his arm fall into his lap.

“Spoilsport,” Sebastian taunted from behind him. Blaine refused to acknowledge him, and instead, returned to the conversation he’d been having with the boyfriends about how the three of them had almost met in high school, having all been part of their schools’ show choirs, which had competed against each other at one time or another.

They landed not long after, and rushed for the taxis waiting at the curb. Blaine was frustrated when Cooper stopped to sign an autograph for a fan, and the other four teams managed to get a jump on them.

“Cooper! This was your idea to go on the race! Will you at least _ try _ and keep up?”

His brother had the grace to at least act sorry, but Blaine knew it was more than likely just that, an act. Fortunately, their cabby knew every shortcut there was, and arrived just as the other teams reached the clue box.

“Roadblock!” Blaine read once they got their clue. “Who thinks outside the box?”

…

_ “In this roadblock, one team member must assemble a large 3d puzzle of the Sphinx. What they don’t know is that there are several extra pieces that aren’t part of the puzzle.” _

_ … _

“It’s your turn, Coop. I did the last two. You are doing this one!”

“Fine. How hard could it be?” Blaine took a seat next to Nick and watched as his brother began sorting out his pieces.

“I should have done this one,” Nick said. “Jeff isn’t very good at puzzles.”

Blaine gave Nick a slightly surprised look. “He’s not?” he asked.

Nick shook his head. “No. I know it’s a bit surprising considering he’s a kindergarten teacher, but he’s just never been very adept at them. Everyone has a weakness in their profession right?”

Blaine just shrugged and watched the others start assembling the puzzle. He was glad Sebastian was too preoccupied to be a nuisance right now.

Cooper was actually doing surprisingly well, and was almost half finished by the time the teams from the second flight arrived. He was happy to see Kurt and his dad. Burt immediately went to work on the puzzle, surpassing Jeff and Azimio. Carole also seemed to be progressing quickly.

He offered Kurt a bottle of water as they waited for their teammates to finish. The glasz eyed man smiled in thanks. “How was your flight?”

Kurt shrugged. “It was okay. I talked to Tina and Mike and Quinn and Santana some. Slept for a while. How about you? Anything fun or exciting happen?”

Blaine just shrugged back. “It could have been worse, but I wouldn’t say it was pleasant. Sebastian was being a pest, but I ignored him.” He considered telling Kurt the suspicions he’d had of the other team, but decided against it. He had no proof of any wrongdoing.

“Squirt! Let’s go! I got the clue!”

Blaine looked up, surprised. He hadn’t realized Cooper was almost finished. He smiled at Kurt. “See you soon!”

…

Kurt watched the curly haired man go. He should have voiced his suspicions about Buzzcut to him. Oh well. He’d just keep an eye on the other man and see if he could find any proof the other team was up to something. He turned back to watch his dad. He was doing great. All those years of putting together car engines was giving him an advantage. He was nearly finished when Rachel and Sebastian got their clues, one right after the other.

Both Jeff and Quinn seemed to be having trouble. The blonde cheerleader stood up and glared at her puzzle. “If he had a nose, I’d punch him in it! Damn it, where does this piece go?”

Jeff was trying to pound a piece into place, growling in frustration.

…

_ “That puzzle tried my patience like no five year old ever has!” Jeff said, pushing his blonde hair off his forehead. “I mean, why did they have to give us three extra pieces? And by the time I noticed there were too many pieces, my eyes were so crossed I couldn’t tell one piece from another!” _

_ Nick reached over and squeezed his shoulder. “You did your best, that’s all that matters.” _

...

“Done!” Burt said, signaling the officiate to check his work. The man nodded and handed Burt the clue. As he passed, he whispered just loud enough for Quinn and Jeff to hear. “There are three extra pieces!”

Quinn stepped back and looked at her pieces, and suddenly seemed to get it. Jeff was too busy freaking out to understand, but Burt and Kurt couldn’t wait around to help him out. They grabbed up their packs and moved off a little ways and opened the clue.

“Travel by Train to Luxor, and take a taxi to the Mummification Museum, to search for your next clue.”

…

Blaine and Cooper were a bit out of breath by the time they reached the train station. It felt like one of those moments when the race was getting real. They were aware that they were in the delicate position of first place, which was a position everyone would be fighting for. But unless you had quite a lead on the other teams, you couldn’t just take being in the lead at a comfortable pace.

“Tickets!” Cooper shouted, pointing ahead of him as they ran towards the counter, pushing people out of the way.

“Coop! Where are your manners?!” Blaine yelled, apologizing to a few people. “Sorry, we’re kind of in a race.”

“No time for manners Squirt!” Cooper replied as he skidded to a halt at the counter. “We need tickets on the next train to Luxor, quickly please!” he said in a rushed voice.

Blaine rolled his eyes as he joined him. “Now he uses manners,” he muttered under his breath.

The woman at the counter was not dressed in an employee uniform, but instead was wearing a tracksuit with a name badge on the front that read, ‘Sue’. Blaine and Cooper glanced at each other.

“Are you sure you’re Egytian?” Blaine asked.

“My cousin’s wife’s ex-husband was born in Cairo,” the woman replied. Once more the Anderbrothers glanced at each other. She was swift to change the subject. “You’re Cooper Anderson aren’t you?”

Cooper, never one to turn down possible praise, beamed at the woman. “Why yes, I am!” He flashed her that Credit Score smile and it took all Blaine’s willpower not to facepalm. “I take it you’ve seen my commercial?”

She snorted, all the while printing tickets. “Seen is an understatement. You make those commercials, delicious.” This time it took all Blaine’s willpower not to gag. “I’ll tell you what,” she went on. And to Blaine’s horror, she pulled down one side of her tracksuit a bit. “If you sign me right here, I’ll upgrade you to the VIP coach, free of charge.”

Cooper, who was also never one to turn down a more luxurious way of travel, was all too quick to agree. “You got it!” he said, pulling a sharpie out and making Blaine wonder when the hell he’d packed one. He signed his name across the woman’s boob without hesitation. “There you go!” he said cheerfully.

She slid a couple of train tickets across the counter to them. “Here you go Young Burt Reynolds, Young Burt Reynolds’ Famous Brother. Enjoy Luxor.” She saluted them as they left the counter.

“What a nice woman,” Cooper said. Blaine gave him a funny look, but said nothing as they made their way to the platform.

“How long until the train?” Blaine asked. Cooper glanced down at the tickets.

“Not quite an hour.”

Blaine frowned. “Most of the teams will probably end up on this train, then. Sebastian and Hunter weren’t far behind us, and a couple other teams were close to finishing when we left.”

As if on cue, Sebastian and Hunter came jogging into the station. Blaine scowled as Sebastian spotted him and winked as they got their tickets. He noticed Sue was no longer at the counter, a man in a regular uniform had taken her place.

“Oh god, please don’t let them come over here,” Blaine muttered to himself.

“What was that, Squirt?” Cooper asked.

Blaine sighed in frustration. “Nothing,” he replied and then lowered his voice, muttering a second time, unaware that Cooper had leaned in to hear him. “Some people just don’t know how to take a hint.” His eyes were watching Sebastian like a hawk.

Cooper glanced over at the other team, and frowned. Had one of them been bugging his little brother? The taller of the two men made a beeline for them the moment they had their tickets.

...

“I’m going to pound that beautiful tight ass if it’s the last thing I do on this race,” Sebastian muttered. No, was not a word in his vocabulary. Sebastian Smythe always got his man. And he wanted one thing. Into Blaine’s pants. So the shy school boy was playing hard to get, but frankly, it was starting to get a little old.

The curly haired man tried to move behind the Credit Score dude, but Sebastian had no intention of letting him escape. When the older Anderson stepped into his path, Sebastian frowned for a second, but then his sycophant smile stretched his face again.

“Something I can help you with?” The brother asked.

“I’m not interested in you and your horrible acting skills,” Sebastian stated, hands slid in his pockets. “Your brother and I have some unfinished business of the intimate variety. And his hard to get act, was cute at first. But now it’s just getting old. I always get what I want.”

Cooper frowned. “Sounds like a sexual harrasment suit waiting to happen. I don’t think my brother is playing hard to get, I think he just doesn’t want you.”

Sebastian took a step closer, standing to his full height, a smirk, the kind that seemed to think he thought Cooper’s words laughable, written across his face. “You know, it’s funny, you trying to stand up for him now. When everyone knows the only person who has ever mattered to you is yourself.”

“Is that what people think?” he asked, confused.

“Pretty much,” Blaine said from behind him.

Sebastian glanced at Blaine. “See? Even your own brother feels that way. Maybe I’ll back off, for a moment. But you, Cooper Anderson, you need to take a step back and figure out what actually is important in your life.” He huffed and turned away, sending Blaine a look that said, ‘Don’t say I never did anything for you.’

…

Cooper turned to look at Blaine. “Is that how I make you feel?”

Blaine shrugged. “All you ever talk about is you. When you do talk about anyone else, you pretty much insult them. Well, insult me, anyway. You act like I’m not good enough, always criticize me about how I sing or dance or act. You’ve never once paid me a compliment that wasn’t backhanded.”

Cooper frowned. Had he been such a lousy brother? “So why did you agree to come on this show with me?”

Blaine turned away, refusing to look at him. “To prove to you, and mom and dad, really everyone, that I’m just as good as you. That I can do anything you can, and do it just as good, or even better.”

Cooper opened his mouth to say something, though he wasn’t sure what, but he was cut off as that Kurt guy called his brother’s name. Blaine straightened up and turned to look at the pale man, and Cooper suddenly noticed how his brother’s face lit up at the sight of the other man. Cooper decided that maybe he had some things to think about, and walked away as Blaine hugged the auburn haired man.

…

The feeling of Blaine’s arms encircling him in one of the warmest, most secure hugs other than his dad’s, was slightly overwhelming, but certainly welcome. Kurt felt himself melt perfectly into the other man, as though they were two pieces of a puzzle made to fit together.

After Blaine had left the roadblock, it felt like an eternity until he was able to see him again. And he was all too excited that Blaine was there. He didn’t even care that Sebastian and Hunter were just a bit down the platform from them, or that the meerkat boy was glaring in their direction.

It took a moment for him to realize the darker man was crying on his shoulder. “Hey! What’s wrong?” He pulled back to look into those hazel eyes, and wiped away a tear. He felt Blaine shudder as he took a deep breath. “Blaine? Talk to me, please?”

The shorter man took another deep breath, and shook his head. “Sebastian was being a creeper again, and Cooper tried to stand up to him, but then we had a little fight, and I’m just so tired right now.”

Kurt pulled him back in for another hug, even as he guided them to sit on a bench. “It’s okay, sweetie. I’m here, you can just rest for a while. I’ll make sure no one bothers you.”

He felt Blaine relax against him, and he began to hum softly, soothing the other male.

**_Nothing's gonna harm you_  
_Not while I'm around_  
_ Nothing's gonna harm you_  
_ No sir, not while I'm around_  
_ Demons are prowling everywhere nowadays_  
_ I'll send them howling, I don't care, I've got ways_  
_ No one's gonna hurt you_  
_ No one's gonna dare_  
_ Others can desert you_  
_ Not to worry, whistle I'll be there_  
_ Demons'll charm you with a smile for a while_  
_ But in time_  
_ Nothing can harm you, not while I'm around_  
_ Being close and being clever_  
_ Ain't like being true_  
_ I don't need to, I would never_  
_ Hide a thing from you_  
_ Like some_  
_ No one's gonna hurt you_  
_ No one's gonna dare_  
_ Others can desert you_  
_ Not a worry, whistle I'll be there_  
_ Demons'll charm you with a smile for awhile_  
_ But in time_  
_ Nothing can harm you_  
** **_ Not while I'm around_**

He was fairly certain people had stopped to stare at them, but he didn’t care. Blaine had fallen asleep in his arms, making his heart flip over at the trust that showed. When he finally looked up, he found Sebastian staring at him as if he had never seen anything like him before, obviously unable to comprehend how Blaine could choose Kurt over him. The pale man just gave him a mysterious smile.

There was no doubt in Kurt’s mind now that feelings were growing stronger for both of them. At that precise moment, the only thing he wanted to win, was Blaine’s heart. Love was worth far more than money.

When the train arrived, he was reluctant to wake the sleeping man, but they needed to board the train.

“Here,” a voice said, and he looked up into Cooper Anderson’s blue eyes. “Let me help.”

Kurt studied the older man’s face, seeing the concern there. He gave a short nod, which spoke volumes to the older brother. It said ‘if you hurt him again I will hurt you,’ and it said ‘I’m trusting you to make things right,’ and it said ‘I’m trusting you with something very precious to me, don’t fuck it up!’ To Cooper’s credit, he looked sheepish, and acknowledged him with a nod of his own.

“Hey Squirt? The train is here. We need to go.” Cooper had knelt carefully in front of him, trying to be as gentle and soothing as he possibly could. But that was a feat for Cooper Anderson. They were both tones he had rarely used, if ever.

However, Blaine had been a light sleeper for years, ever since the dance incident. The nightmares in the aftermath had lasted for months, but he was damn good at pretending like they didn’t bother him, even though those closest to Blaine knew they did.

It was in this moment Cooper realized that Blaine was a brilliant actor. No one could ever tell he was hurting in any way during that time. But it had shifted his whole sleeping manner and the younger Anderson had been a light sleeper ever since.

As if proving a point, the curly haired man’s eyes fluttered open. He was still in Kurt’s arms, but Cooper was looking at him from the ground level.

“Hey Sq-Blaine,” Cooper said then and Blaine’s eyes widened in his wake. When was the last time Cooper had called him by his name? His actual name? Not Squirt, or Blainey Boy, or any of the other stupid nicknames he always used. “We have to go now. The train is here.”

“But Kurt,” Blaine said, still a little bit sleepy and not awake enough just yet to remember they were in a race.

“I’m on the same train, sweetie,” Kurt said gently. “But you need to go with your brother now. We all have a race to run.”

It was once again hard for Kurt to split from Blaine. He wished he and his dad could sit with him, but he didn’t know where the Anderbrothers were supposed to be sitting on the train.

“Hey, Kurt,” Cooper said. “Care to give me a hand? We’re in the VIP coach. Could you carry his backpack for me?”

Kurt nodded and picked up his bag as well. He told his dad he’d see him in a few minutes, and followed the Andersons onto the train. Once Cooper had settled his brother into his seat, he turned to look at Kurt. “Where’s your ticket?”

Frowning, Kurt pulled it from his pocket and showed it to him. Cooper shook his head. “That’s not your ticket, that’s my ticket. This is yours,” he handed Kurt the second VIP ticket. The pale man just looked at him in confusion. Cooper smiled at him. “He needs you right now, more than he needs his big brother, who apparently has been the worst big brother ever. Try and get him to sleep some more. He needs it.”

Kurt smiled and nodded at the older man. “I’ll take care of him.”

Cooper nodded and slipped out of the train car to look for Burt Hummel, his new seatmate.

Blaine yawned as Kurt sat beside him. “Did all the teams make the train?” he asked, sleepily, rubbing his bleary eyes.

“I don’t think so. Look, out the window, there’s Quinn and Santana, and Tina and Mike. Looks like they can’t get tickets for this train,” he added as the train began to move. As they picked up speed, they spotted Nick and Jeff just getting to the station.

…

_ All teams are now traveling by train to Luxor, Egypt, where they will have to locate the Mummification Museum, to receive their next clue. _

_ … _

Kurt tried to coax Blaine to sleep a little more, but the darker man just shrugged. “I’m not sleepy now. That nap helped a lot.”

“So, why does your brother think you need to sleep more?”

Blaine sighed. “I didn’t think he even really noticed, but I don’t really sleep well. I have nightmares.”

“Nightmares?” Kurt prompted. “About?”

Blaine sighed and looked out the window. “It was my freshman year of high school. I had just come out. I had expected the taunts and insults, but I never imagined it would become physical. The first time someone tripped me in the hallway, I reported it to a teacher, but I could tell they really didn’t care. They acted like it was my fault for being gay.”

He paused and closed his eyes. “Then another guy came out, too. He and I became friends, and just friends, offering each other support and a shoulder to cry on when things got bad. Then they had a Sadie Hawkins dance at the school. Scott and I decided we’d go and hang out with our group of friends. It wasn’t a date, just friends having fun with friends.

“After the dance, Scott and I were talking in the parking lot, waiting for his dad to pick us up, when these guys jumped us. They beat the crap out of us. Scott got it worse than me, because he tried to put himself between me and them, but we were both pretty messed up. I had a broken collarbone, and a couple of bruised ribs. Scott ended up with permanent brain damage. He can still walk and talk and everything, but his short term memory is shot.”

“That’s horrible!” Kurt said, hugging him.

Blaine just shrugged. “It is what is. It sucked, but it’s part of what makes me who I am. After that night, I learned how to box, to fight back. I transferred schools and met my best friends, Wes, David, and Trent. I can deal with the occasional nightmare.”

“But you shouldn’t have to!” Kurt said. Blaine sat up and smiled at him.

“In a perfect world, maybe someday, Kurt.” The pale man frowned, but didn’t reply. “So, I told you my story. What’s yours?”

Kurt stiffened. “What do you mean?”

Blaine shrugged. “I see the way you watch that Dave guy, how you try to make yourself as small as possible when he’s close. And you said you had a run in with him at the castle. You told me in Argentina that you knew him before the race. What happened with him?”

He was silent for so long, Blaine was afraid he wouldn’t answer at all, but after a while he spoke. “We went to high school together, well, junior high and high school. He’d always been a little mean to me in junior high, just an occasional insult here and there, but mostly he just ignored me then. It wasn’t until freshman year that he really started bullying me. It got worse sophomore year, when they installed the slushie machine. That when he and the other jocks found a new way to torment me, throwing sugar ladened crushed ice in my face.”

The pale man unconsciously wiped at his face, as if wiping away an invisible liquid. “Junior year was even worse. He began body checking me into the lockers everytime he passed. Then one day, I just got so fed up, and I followed him into the locker room. I yelled at him, called him a scared little boy, and then…”

Blaine waited, but Kurt didn’t continue. “Then what, Kurt?”

“He kissed me,” The pale man said so softly, Blaine wasn’t sure he had heard correctly. “ He kissed me, and then threatened to kill me if I told anyone.”

Blaine was quiet for a few moments, searching for the right words to say. But what were the right words to say to something like that?

“I’ve never told anyone the truth,” Kurt said. And then he turned and looked at Blaine. “Until now.”

The curly haired man was taken aback for a moment. “You never told your dad?” he asked. Kurt shook his head. “Why?”

A sigh left the pale man’s mouth. “Up until that point, I had never been genuinely terrified of the situation. My dad had always taught me to be strong. No one pushes the Hummels around, he always says.” He paused for a moment, turning to look out the window of the train. “But more than the fact that I was honestly scared Dave would carry out his threat if I told, I was worried about the effect such news would have on my dad. That was the year he’d had a massive heart attack that put him in a coma for about a week. He hadn’t been home that long when this incident happened. There was no way I was going to tell him. Not then anyway.”

“Why didn’t you tell him later? How long has it been? Seven, eight years?”

Kurt sighed. “My dad knows about the death threat. He found out when he came to the school one day to bring me my wallet that I’d left in his truck, and Karofsky made a rude gesture. My dad saw it, and asked what that was about. He wouldn’t let it go until I told him what had happened. I didn’t tell him about the kiss, just the threat. He went ballistic, chased him down and pinned him to the wall. I was scared that dad would hurt him, and end up in jail for protecting me.”

Not for the first time, Blaine had admiration for Burt Hummel. Being the genuine person that he was, he was never jealous over the fact that Kurt had the kind of relationship with his dad that Blaine had always wished he had with his. Instead, Richard Anderson had spent all his time pointing out his younger son’s flaws, and then forcing him into male bonding activities in an effort to turn him straight.

As such, the two of them elapsed into silence. Blaine instinctively rested his head on Kurt’s shoulder and Kurt laid his own upon the top of Blaine’s and they stayed that way for the rest of the journey.

…

_ “Blaine makes me feel safe,” Kurt said, smiling at the camera. “Like I can tell him anything, and he’ll understand. It’s nice to have someone who gets me, who has gone through some of the same things I’ve gone through. He’s kind, and good natured. I could see myself spending the rest of my life with someone like that.” _

_ Burt smiled at him. “If he can make you smile like that, then I like him, too. And he likes football! If Kurt doesn’t marry him, I’m going to adopt him!” _

_ “DAD!” _

_ ... _

It was after nine at night when the train pulled into Luxor, and Kurt and Blaine reluctantly parted to move out with their respective partners. Burt had spent most of the train ride chatting with Carole, while Cooper had regaled Finn with stories of various auditions he’d been on, and trying to teach the taller man how to act. It was almost a shock to the system when they had to shift back into race mode.

The scramble for cabs left a few egos bruised (namely Rachel’s who had been beaten out to the first cab in line by Blaine and Cooper,) and in one case, a bruised ass (Hunter’s, after tripping over Kurt, who may have deliberately stepped in front of him as payback for the other day at the airport.

When they got to the museum, there was another scramble, but the rush was in vain. “Closed?” Rachel screeched.

“They don’t open until nine in the morning?” Cooper read.

“I guess we’re camping out,” Kurt said with distaste.

“The other teams are going to catch up,” Hunter said. Kurt smiled to himself as the other man winced in discomfort as he sat on the ground near the entrance.

He unrolled the mat for his dad, and made sure he was comfortable, before setting his own mat up next to Blaine, who smiled and slid even closer, so they could share his space blanket.

The whole exchange made Sebastian clearly unsettled. He was done backing off for a moment. Especially when he had to sit there and watch the pasty faced twink get closer to the man that should have been his. As a result, he deliberately set up camp close enough to them to make sure neither would be comfortable all night. Payback could be a real bitch.

…

_ “That gay faced little twink thought he had won,” Sebastian sneered at the camera. “But I wasn’t giving up. Blaine is going to be mine in the end, you’ll see. They always come for me in the end.” _

_ Hunter rolled his eyes, not giving a rat’s ass about Sebastian and his games. “Give it up, Sebastian. We’re here to win the million dollars, not so you can spread your corruption in every corner of the planet!” _

_ ... _

Blaine groaned when he saw what Sebastian had done and Kurt frowned. He leaned in closer to Blaine and whispered gently, “Just try to ignore him sweetie, okay? Focus on me.”

A small smile crossed the curly haired man’s face. “Now that is something that won’t be hard to do at all,” he said, causing Kurt to blush. Blaine’s eyes roamed the pink tinge of the pale man’s face and he had never seen anything so captivatingly beautiful. It was in that moment that he really wanted to kiss him. But he refrained. Everyone else was there and that was not the kind of moment Blaine wanted for a first kiss.

For a while, nothing happened. It was quiet and it seemed maybe Sebastian wasn’t going to do any worse than sleep near them. But that thought was a short-lived one.

Kurt had just started to doze off when the sound of moaning met his ears. Blaine was still awake, having a difficult time sleeping on the ground, despite being comfortable next to Kurt. When Kurt reopened his eyes, Blaine’s were wide as saucers, looking right at him.

“What’s going on?” Kurt whispered. Blaine ticked his head in Sebastian’s direction, an expression on his face that Kurt now read was completely drained of color.

Not sure he wanted to, the pale man glanced toward Sebastian. Even in the dark, he could clearly make out the fact that the center of the slut’s sleeping bag was rising and falling rapidly, the perfect position for his...Kurt completely cut that thought off and looked back at Blaine in horror.

“He’s not seriously…” He trailed off, as again, a moan broke the air.

“Oh yes Blaine!” Sebastian moaned and the curly haired man swallowed hard, the urge to wretch threatening to come up. “Jerk me harder! I’m almost there!”

There was no doubt now what Sebastian was doing and from the sounds of it, he was loud enough that everyone else was starting to wake up.

“I’m going to come in your hand Bla-AH!”

For a moment, Kurt thought he had come in the middle of his moan, but when he looked over again, Sebastian was curled in a fetal position with Santana standing above him.

“Hey slimeball,” the Latina said, “Knock it off. No one wants to hear you jerking off your micro dick!” Kurt just stared at the fiery Latina for a moment, before she glanced over, and smirked at him as she walked past.

“What did you do to him?” He asked softly.

The dark haired beauty just shrugged. “I tripped.”

Kurt glanced at Ryder, the cameraman who had been assigned to the women’s team this leg. The man just shrugged, not allowed to speak, but the look on his face made it clear that the woman had kicked the meerkat on purpose, but he wasn’t about to get her kicked off for it.

“Remind me to add that woman to my Christmas card list,” Kurt said, snuggling back down with Blaine.

…

Bright sunlight woke them up the next morning, and all of them were stiff and sore from sleeping on the ground. Blaine had to help Kurt help his dad up off the ground. Glad he’d prepared for a situation like this, Blaine passed out Ibuprofen to Kurt, Burt, Carole, and Nick and Jeff, before taking some himself. He offered some to Santana and Quinn as well, but they had declined. Tina and Mike had their own.

“I’d kill for a Grande nonfat mocha right now,” Kurt said as he stretched. Blaine just smiled and offered him a protein bar.

“Sorry, this is all I have.” Kurt took the bar, and returned the other man’s smile.

“Thanks. We should hurry and pack our stuff up, I think the museum opens in about fifteen minutes.”

The teams all gathered around the entrance, jockeying for a good position to be the first ones in. Kurt sent Blaine a little wink as the doors were opened. The poor soul who had the misfortune of being the gatekeeper that morning was nearly trampled by the nine teams as they ran for the clue box in the center of the main gallery.

Kurt and Blaine reached the box first, their partners just behind them.

“Search the museum for the following three artifacts, and correctly label them on the map provided. If you correctly identify all three artifacts, you will be given your next clue. If you are incorrect, you must take a new map and start again.”

Three items were listed;

A crook and Flail  
An Ankh  
The sigil of Osiris.

“I know what two of these are!” Kurt said.”But I have no idea what the sigil of Osiris looks like!”

“Should we work together?” Blaine said from a few feet over. “I think I remember what the sigil looks like from that travelling exhibit at the history museum in Detroit I visited.”

“Let’s get Carole and Finn, too,” Burt said, waving the other team over. The three teams wandered around the exhibits, each pair of eyes examining a different display, allowing them to find the first two artifacts quickly. The third item, the eye of Osiris, was a little harder to spot. It was Finn who pointed it out.

They quickly marked it on their maps, crossing their fingers that they were correct. Since it was Finn who found the final artifact, they let him and Carole show the guide their map first, relieved when he smiled and handed them a clue. Burt and Kurt and Blaine and Cooper followed quickly behind.

“Take one of the marked cars in the parking lot and drive to the temple grounds at Karnak, and search for your next clue..”

“We have a map!” Burt said. “I saw the temple on it yesterday when we were on the train. Do you guys want to follow us?”

Both of the other teams agreed to let Burt lead.

The drive was short, and in no time at all they were pulling up to the temple grounds. Once they parked in the designated area, they began searching for the clue box. Kurt spotted it first. “Over here!"

Excited to be the first three teams there, they quickly grabbed their clues, ripping them open.

“Detour, Tiles or Piles.”

…

_ “In this detour, teams must choose between two tasks often undertaken by local scholars. In Tiles, teams much search through a section of sand until they find all the tiles buried there, and then unscramble the letters painted on them to find their next clue. _

_ “In Piles, teams must relocate a pile of archeological equipment, and set it up exactly as they found it in the original location.” _

…

“I think we’re going to do Tiles,” Kurt said.

“Really?” Blaine asked. “I was thinking Piles sounds easier.”

Kurt smiled at him. “You don’t have to choose the same detour as us. Go do Piles, if you want. We’ll meet you at the Pit Stop!”

Blaine smiled back, and nodded. Finn and Carole also chose to do Piles, leaving Kurt and Burt at the digging station.

“Are you sure this is a good idea, Kurt?” His dad asked. “We don’t know how many tiles we need to find, or how deep they are buried.”

“Trust me, Dad, I saw a task like this on the show several seasons ago! I’m pretty sure I know what we’re looking for!” He grabbed the spade and a sifting pan, and began to dig. The marked sections were only about six feet by six feet, and he knew the tiles would be less than four feet down. “You can sift the sand while I dig. We can switch in a little while if I get tired.”

They found the first three tiles quickly, and Kurt had a hunch what they would spell out when he found the rest of them. He dug faster.

…

Several yards over, Blaine and Cooper and Finn and Carole were studying the pile of equipment, memorizing where each piece was situated, before starting the process of lugging the equipment to the new location, which was about two football fields away. It was harder than it seemed, because some of the equipment was heavy and awkward to carry, and they could only carry so much at once, so had to make several trips.

Blaine and Cooper were doing okay, but Finn and Carole were falling a little behind. Unfortunately, the rules forbid them from physically assisting the other team, but they shouted encouragement when they could.

“You can do it, Carole! You’re so strong! Just imagine it’s one of your patients who have fallen out of bed and you have to lift them back in!”

By the third trip, they were starting to tire, but the sight of the other teams arriving spurred them on.

…

“I think that’s all of them!” Kurt said, looking over the tiles they had collected. As he thought, they spelled out Temple of Mut. He waved the officiate over to check, and whooped in joy when the man handed him the clue.

“See, I knew this would be easy!” He hugged his dad, and then ripped open the clue. “Search for Phil at the Pit Stop at the Temple of Mut! Come on, I know where that is!”

They grabbed up their packs and rushed towards the southern part of the temples.

…

_ “Located to the south of the newer Amen-Re complex, this precinct was dedicated to the Mother Goddess, Mut, who became identified as the wife of Amun-Re in the Eighteenth Dynasty Theban Triad. It has several smaller temples associated with it and has its own sacred lake, constructed in a crescent shape. This temple has been ravaged, many portions having been used in other structures. This is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race! The Last team to check in here, may be eliminated!” _

…

Phil set down his glass of iced tea as he was beckoned out of the refreshment tent by Marley, and took his place beside the greeter at the mat.

“That’s a good look on you, Bryan.”

The blonde man did not appear to be quite as enthusiastic. “It would look better if this were a full time gig,” he muttered, tugging at the short pleated skirt of the Priest of Osiris costume they had forced him to wear. At least the leopard skin over his shoulder was a dramatic touch.

Phil just smiled as he saw Burt and Kurt running towards them. Bryan Ryan on the other hand, just sneered.

“Welcome to Karnak, Egypt. Get a real job!”

Phil’s eyebrow disappeared into his hairline, but he shrugged it off. Who had hired the greeters this season?

“Burt and Kurt, you are team number one!”

The younger man shouted and hugged his dad.

“And I have some good news for you. As the winners of this leg of the race, you have won a trip for two to Cancun, Mexico, that you can enjoy after the race!”

“I can’t believe it!” Kurt said. “I was so sure we were going to be out on the last leg.”

“How does it feel to be in first now?”

“It’s awesome! This leg has been such an emotional journey.”

“I heard you spent a lot of time with another racer on this leg.”

Kurt blushed a little. “Blaine and I may have hit it off a little. He’s a very special person, and I like being near him.”

Phil smiled and waved them off the mat, as a PA lead them to the refreshment tent.

“Blaine and Cooper, you are team number two!”

“Finn and Carole, you are team number three!”

“Rachel and Jesse, you are team number four!” Phil cringed, having forgotten his earplugs, as the girl shrieked.

“Sebastian and Hunter, you are team number five!”

“Quinn and Santana, you are team number six!”

“Tina and Mike, you are team number seven!”

…

“I’m sorry,” Nick said for the dozenth time.

“Would you stop that?” Jeff said as they finished placing the last piece of equipment. “It’s not your fault we got lost. I’m the one who couldn’t read the map!”

“Yes, but it was my fault we had to start over twice at the museum because I marked the wrong location of the sigil of Osiris!”

Jeff hugged his boyfriend. “You were just over excited at spotting it, you marked one spot over by accident the second time. It was an honest mistake!”

“I don’t deserve you!” Nick said, hugging him back.

Jeff just laughed as they received their clue. “True, but I’d be nothing without you.”

…

“Dave and Azimio, you are team number eight!”

Phil watched the blonde man and his boyfriend make their way to the mat. “Nick and Jeff, you are the last team to arrive. I’m sorry to tell you you have both been eliminated from the race.”

“It’s been a long couple of days, Phil,” Jeff said. “And nothing seems to have gone in our favor. But I’m happy I got to go on this adventure with someone I love.”

Nick blushed, and kissed him. “I’m so lucky to have Jeff by my side. There is no one else on this planet I would want to run this race with, or the race of life, either.”

Phil shook their hands, and watched them go.

…

_ Stay tuned for scenes from our next episode! _

_ Next time, On The Amazing Race; one team runs into a string of bad luck, while another shocks the Amazing Race crew. Don’t miss the most dramatic Pit Stop ever! _


	5. Siamo Nel Profondo Doo Doo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is now complete and I will be posting 2 chapters a day here until they're all posted! However, if you don't want to wait, my co-author has the entire story posted on her ff.net right now so you can hop over there and finish the race!
> 
> Comments and kudos make us both smile!

Nick and Jeff having been eliminated made it all the more real that it was really anyone’s race. Kurt found himself lying on his cot, his sleeping bag still packed up because it was so hot. If he was bolder, he might have even tried sleeping with his shirt off. But he wasn’t that bold. At least not in public with all these people around. And especially not with Dave and Azimio and Sebastian and Hunter around. Why couldn’t it have been one of their teams that had been eliminated? So far, every team gone was a really good team.

“Kurt?” came a voice from beside him. The auburn haired man turned his head to find Blaine in one of the most adorable positions. The man was curled up on his side and his eyes were as big as saucers again as he looked back at Kurt.

“What is it sweetie?” Kurt asked softly. It was getting later and most of the chatter had died down.

“I was going to ask if you were still awake but it’s kind of a pointless question now,” Blaine replied with a soft chuckle. Kurt smiled at him, reaching out to grab a hold of his hand.

The two of them were silent for a moment. Thankfully, Sebastian and Hunter were nowhere near them now. Ironically, the buzzcut and meerkat team had set up camp away from everyone else. Kurt wasn’t sure if it was because they wanted to talk strategy without anyone else overhearing or because they wanted to talk trash about the other racers. Or maybe it was something else.

“You make me feel safe,” Blaine suddenly said, pulling the pale man from his thoughts. Kurt smiled again.

“You make me feel safe too sweetie,” he said. Glancing around, he made a bold move and lifted Blaine’s hand to his lips, peppering a soft kiss to the back of it. Blaine blushed, the pink tinge rising up around his ears.

Kurt chuckled a little and reached out his free hand, gently brushing a couple of curls out of the darker man’s face.

Their moment of tranquility was broken by Rachel’s sudden shriek, causing Kurt to release Blaine’s hand and both of them to sit up.

The noise had roused many of the other racers who had already called it a night, what with nighttime these days being whenever they could catch a few hours of sleep. But Rachel had obviously disturbed their slumber.

“You promised me Jesse! You promised me we would be number one every single leg! And we haven’t even won once!” the girl was shrieking. “I thought we were number one!”

“We _ are _ Rachel,” Jesse protested in return, having the decency to throw an apologetic look around at the other teams. Not that he would admit it, but even he was beginning to get tired of her outbursts. She was more needy than usual.

Rachel marched up to him and jabbed her tanned finger into his chest. “Then how come we aren’t in first?!” she spit out. At that moment, an empty water bottle whacked her in the side of the head.

“Hey man hands! “Santana yelled, clearly the one who had thrown the water bottle. “Do you mind? Some of us actually want our beauty rest, even if we don’t need it!” She muttered something under her breath Kurt and Blaine were close enough to hear. “But you do.”

Rachel turned on Santana. “Did anyone ever teach you it was rude to interrupt conversations, throw bottles at people, and insult them?”

Santana pretended to be thinking about that for a moment. “Let me see,” she said. “Nope,” she added after a beat. “I was, however, taught not to shriek like a shrew when people are trying to sleep! Now, unless you want to see how we handle things in Miami, I suggest you shut your trap so everyone else can nap.”

The petite brunette let out a frustrated noise and stomped out of the area with her hands balled into fists at her sides. Clearly, Rachel was not adept at not getting her own way.

“What does she think this is?” Quinn asked. “A walk in central park? Has she ever even _ seen _ the show before?” Her words were directed at Jesse, who stared at her for a moment, but said nothing and turned to follow his partner.

“Well hell,” Santana muttered, lying back down in her cot.

The tent quieted down once more, and most of the group went back to sleep, although Kurt noticed that Buzzcut seemed to be having a whispered argument with the slut.

“What do you think that is about?” he whispered to Blaine. The curly haired man frowned, and shook his head.

“There is something suspicious going on with those two,” the hazel eyed man said. “The other day in portugal, I would swear they were behind us at the detour, but somehow they beat us to the roadblock by several minutes.”

“Interesting,” Kurt said, thoughtfully. “Have you noticed that Buzzcut seems to spend an awful lot of time in airport bathrooms?” He told the darker man about how instead of going directly to the ticket counter at JFK, the other man had beelined for the bathroom, and about the very suspicious character he had quite deliberately bumped into outside. “And he was in the airport bathroom again in Argentina. I didn’t see him at the airport in Portugal, though, they were on the same flight as you and you were boarding when I got there.”

The shorter man was lost in thought for a moment. “You know, there was a brief period of time that I didn’t see him in the boarding area. He might have been in the bathroom then. Of course that isn’t proof that they are doing anything wrong. Maybe he’s diabetic and doesn’t want anyone to know, so goes into the bathroom to take his insulin.”

“That’s a possibility, but my gut is telling me there is more to it than that.”

The argument on the other side of the room got a little louder, and this time Kurt clearly heard Buzzcut mention Blaine’s name. “I think he is telling Sebastian to back off on you. Hopefully the meerkat will listen, because if he doesn’t, I’m going to shave that CW hair off.”

Blaine smiled at him. “My hero!”

…

_ The Precinct of Mut is an Ancient Egyptian temple compound located in the present city of Luxor, on the east bank of the Nile in South Karnak. The compound is one of the four key ancient temples that creates the Karnak Temple Complex. This was the third Pit Stop in a race around the world. The eight teams waiting here have no idea what’s in store for them. _

_ Burt and Kurt, who were the first arrive at 11:54 am, will be the first to depart at 11:54 pm. _

…

Burt ripped open the clue when they were given the signal, reading out loud. “Fly to Palermo, Italy!”

“Italy! I’ve always wanted to do a food tour of Italy!” Kurt said, reading the rest of the clue over his shoulder. “Let’s find a travel agency!”

They flagged down a taxi, and asked for the nearest open travel agency. Once there, Kurt smiled at the lady behind the desk. “Hello, we need tickets on the earliest possible flight to Palermo, Italy please.”

She smiled in return, and began typing quickly. “Are you going there for business or pleasure?” she asked, making small talk as she searched flights.

“Neither, actually,” Kurt replied. “We’re in a competition, a race around the world.”

“That sounds exciting! I have a flight scheduled to leave at 2am, but I don’t think you will make it to the airport and through security in time.”

Kurt glanced at his dad. “Should we risk it?”

…

Blaine and Cooper debated whether to go to a travel agency, or just go straight to the airport. Unlike the airport in Portugal, Luxor International was open twenty-four hours, and even if the ticket counters were closed, they had a computer room where you could book flights.

“Let’s just get to the airport. Maybe we can get on an early flight.” Cooper decided. Blaine agreed, and half an hour later they were sitting at a computer, checking flights.

“Look!” The older Anderson pointed at the screen. “There is a flight that leaves at two! We should just make it through security, and we’ll have to run like crazy to get to the gate, but we can make it!”

“Let’s book it!” Blaine said.

…

“What’s the next flight?” Burt asked.

“The next flight leaves at 2:55am, with a short layover in Athens, Greece. You’ll arrive in Palermo shortly before nine. You should have enough time to make it.”

“Let’s book it,” Burt said, and Kurt nodded his head.

Half an hour later they arrived at the airport. When they got there, they found Finn and Carole and Rachel and Jesse just coming out of the computer room. “What flight are you on?” Burt asked.

“The 2:55 flight through Athens,” Carole said, showing them the print out.

“We’re on the same flight! Let’s hurry and get through security.”

Once they were through security, Kurt glanced around, wondering where Blaine and Cooper were. He hoped they could sit together on the plane.

However, his thoughts about Blaine and Cooper were short-lived because it was at that moment, he noticed Hunter, once more entering an airport bathroom. To make matters even more fishy, the buzzcut glanced both ways before casually strolling inside. Kurt slipped off his pack and set it in the seat beside his dad.

“I’ll be right back,” he told Burt, who gave him a concerned look. “I just have to use the bathroom real quick.” There was no denying that Burt didn’t quite believe his son, but he didn’t bring word to the fact. He merely nodded and watched the younger Hummel head for the bathroom.

When he reached the restroom, Kurt slowed down enough that his Doc Martens wouldn’t cause any noise as he walked across the bathroom floor. Inside, it was almost surprisingly empty. This was a twenty-four hour airport, so it wasn’t unlikely there would be more activity in the bathroom. At the same time, it was the wee hours of the morning and few people took flights at this hour so it wasn’t entirely surprising to find the bathroom empty.

He didn’t see Hunter anywhere, but since Kurt hadn’t seen the buzzcut leave, he knew he was still in there. That was when he heard it. Hunter’s voice, clear as day, coming from the stall on the far end.

“Slow down a little bit. I need to write all this out.” There was a pause. “Make a show of trying to figure things out? And give the other teams the chance to get ahead of us? No thanks. Hunter Clarington comes second to no one.” Another pause. “I know we haven’t come in first since that second leg. That’s what your information is supposed to be helping with.”

Kurt hesitated for a moment, before he quietly slipped into the first stall. The last thing he needed was for Hunter to come out unexpectedly and catch him in the bathroom. He considered trying to leave, but felt that might be better to do after the buzzcut had left first. For extra measure, he moved to stand on top of the toilet. It was a good thing he was damn good with balance.

“So which of the two detours do you think would be the less time consuming?” Yet another pause. “I know you can give me the result, but I still need to actually perform the detour. Sometimes, cousin, it’s not hard to see why you are such a disgrace.” There was one more pause. “Okay, I think I got everything. You know when you’ll hear from me again. I have to go.”

A resounding click echoed in the empty bathroom as the buzzcut clicked something shut. Kurt stayed still in his position atop the toilet, crouching down because he was tall enough that his head would be seen over the top of the stall if he stood to his full height. One eye focused on the crack in the locked stall door and he watched Hunter walk out of the bathroom.

The pale man waited a good few minutes, before he followed him out, to be sure that Hunter wouldn’t notice him leaving after he did.

As Kurt made his way back over to his dad, his thoughts were churning. Hunter was cheating! He should tell someone, but he had no proof! It was his word against the other man’s. He needed to figure out how to prove the other man was breaking the rules, and not just in a slap on the wrist time penalty way.

…

_ “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. I’m sorry to tell you we’ll be making an unscheduled landing in Cairo due to technical difficulties. Please remain seated until the plane has come to a complete stop.” _

“What do you think the problem is?” Blaine asked as the plane prepared for landing. They hadn’t been in the air long, and things had seemed smooth, but you can never tell what the issue is sometimes.

“I don’t know,” Cooper replied, sounding concerned for the first time on the race. “Hopefully whatever it is is minor, and can be fixed quickly so we don’t fall behind.”

Blaine nodded, and turned to look out the window. He’d been really disappointed when Kurt hadn’t been on this flight. He and his dad had left before them, so he was surprised not to see the other team at the airport. They must have stopped at a travel agency. It was too bad, as he had been looking forward to spending some time alone with the pale man on the plane.

…

Kurt glanced around once more as he handed his boarding pass to the hostess. Still no sign of Blaine and Cooper. What had happened to the other team? Had they managed to get an earlier flight? He sighed and boarded the plane. He’d see the handsome, curly haired man later at the challenges, he was sure.

…

_ “All teams are now making their way to Palermo, Italy. Once there they will travel to Teatro Massimo, where they will find their next clue.” _

…

“There’s the clue box!” Finn pointed out as he and his mom got out of the large cab they had shared with Burt and Kurt in an effort to save a little money. Finn had been complaining about not having enough to eat the last leg, so they had splurged a little on a meal during their layover in Athens.

The two teams hurried over to the box and read their clues. “Listen as the orchestra plays a section from three famous Arias, and then find the correlating sheet music among the dozen options.”

“What’s an Aria?” Finn asked.

“Don’t worry about it, Finn,” Kurt said, grinning. “I happen to know every Aria ever written! This will be a piece of cake!”

As they entered the theater, they could hear strains of music coming from the orchestra, who were currently playing an overture. Once the teams took their position at the tables where the sheet music was spread out, the Maestro tapped his baton, and they began the first piece.

Kurt closed his eyes and let the music wash over him. After a moment he began to hum along, and then to sing.

**_Casta Diva, che inargenti_  
_Queste sacre antiche piante_  
_ A noi volgi il bel sembiante_  
_ Senza nube e senza vel_  
** **_ Tempra, o Diva_**

Finn looked at the pale man beside him. “Whoa, dude! That was beautiful!”

…

_ “The guy sounded like a girl singing, but in a really good way!” Finn said. “I couldn’t understand a word he sang, though. I mean he could have been singing ‘go jump in a lake,’ but it sounded so pretty, you’d probably want to do it!” _

...

Kurt smiled. “It’s _ Casta Diva _,” he said, searching the table for the correct sheet music.

After a moment, the orchestra began a new selection. Kurt didn’t sing this time, but scoffed at how easy it was to identify the piece. _ “Una Voce Poco Fa!” _

When the third piece began, it took Kurt a few moments to identify it as _ “E Strano, E Strano.” _

Once they each had all three sheets of music, they passed them to the Maestro, who smiled upon examining them. As he handed them their clues, the older man spoke directly to Kurt. “Hai una bella voce!”

Kurt blushed. “Grazie!”

…

Blaine glanced at his watch as their plane finally lifted off again. It was almost nine. All of the other teams were probably in Palermo by now. They were so far behind, they were most likely going to be eliminated.

“Siamo nel profondo doo doo,” he muttered to himself.

“What was that?” Cooper asked.

“Nothing. You do realize we’re in dead last now?”

His brother nodded. “I’m sorry. I know you were hoping to spend more time with Kurt.”

Blaine sighed. He’d been attracted to the pale man since the moment he’d laid eyes on him, and as he’d gotten to know him, he’d realized there was more than a physical attraction between them. They understood each other completely, knew what made the other one smile. Kurt even liked his silly jokes, even if he rolled his eyes playfully at them!

“I think I could fall in love with him, Coop,” he said, looking back out the window.

Cooper patted him on the back. “It’s not like you’re never going to see him again. Either he’ll be eliminated as well and we’ll be sequestered together, or you’ll see him at the finish line.”

That was true, Blaine thought. But how long would that be?

…

“Wow, Mike, I didn’t know you knew so much about Operas,” Tina said as they got their clue. She glanced back at the team that was still trying to find the last Aria, the ones Kurt referred to as Buzzcut and slut. She couldn’t believe what she had been hearing from the green eyed man the other night at the museum. That had been pretty low, and disgusting, especially since it was obvious to everyone that Blaine didn’t like the guy.

Shaking her head, she opened the clue as they exited the theater. “Make your way by taxi to Alessandro di Camporeale, and search for your next clue!”

“Alessandro di Camporeale?” Mike said, sounding confused. “Is that a place or a person?”

“Let’s ask the cab driver,” Tina said, having to move out of the way as the other team emerged from the theater. The guy with the buzz cut had a determined look on his face, while Sebastian looked like someone had kicked him in the balls. Well, she supposed Santana kind of had the other night, though she wasn’t completely sure of the actual details.

She supposed the look on the taller man’s face had more to do with the argument she had overheard at the Pit Stop the afternoon before. Hunter had basically told Sebastian that if he didn’t stop messing around with Blaine, he’d let slip the other man’s biggest secret in front of the cameras. It almost sounded as if the shorter man had blackmailed the other man into being his partner on this race, though why anyone would have to resort to such methods, she had no clue.

Shaking her head, she spoke to their cabby, “Do you know what this is?” she asked, pointing to the words in the clue.

The old man smiled at her. “Si, Pretty Lady, it is a vineyard. I take you there?”

She smiled in return. “Yes, please!”

…

Sebastian was still pouting as they approached the vineyard, but Hunter didn’t care. The man was testing his patience, and frankly he was beginning to regret choosing him as his partner.

When the cab drove up to what appeared to be a guard shack, Hunter frowned. Why did they have security at a vineyard?

As they got out of the cab, a tall slender intimidating woman stepped out of the guard shack, pulling latex gloves on over her hands. Instead of a guard’s uniform, she wore a tracksuit. But her ensemble was complete with a badge, and holster belt that held a night stick and what looked suspiciously like an actual taser.

“Hello CW and Clariton,” the woman said as they approached her and she snapped her second glove into place.

“It’s Clarington,” Hunter corrected, looking the supposed guard up and down. “And I’m pretty sure it’s against the law for a female to search a male,” he added.

The woman threw a scathing grin in his direction. “I believe you may have your laws mixed up. Besides Private, you’re in Italy now.” she smirked at him.

“And you’re not Italian,” Sebastian threw in.

Her attention turned to the meerkat man. “My great-Aunt Goldie was born in Italy. Sure it was on a technicality, but she was born here,” she responded. “Now if the two of you will just raise your arms and stand still, this will be over in a jiffy. And trust me, it will be more humiliating and painful for me, than it is for you. You think this is hard? Try racing dune buggies over pyramids, that’s hard!”

Hunter subconsciously ran a hand over his pocket, the expression on his face reading completely blank, although on the inside, he was beginning to panic. No one had told him they would be strip searched on this race. That had never happened before, to his knowledge.

The sound of another taxi approaching distracted the woman. “Well boys, it’s your lucky day. Get out of here before I change my mind.”

Not hesitating, Hunter grabbed his pack and began to jog towards the main building of the Vineyard. He was actually jogging so fast, their camera crew was having trouble keeping up.

Zizes, the sound person, was breathing hard when they finally reached the clue box.

“Roadblock. Who appreciates a fine wine?” Hunter read. “I’m doing it,” he said, or more like commanded when Sebastian opened his mouth to speak.

…

_ “In this Roadblock, one team member must stomp enough grapes to fill five wine bottles with juice. The non participating team member will be in charge of holding the bottles under the spigot. They may not touch the grapes at all.” _

…

Hunter was lead to one of the large vats of grapes, and instructed to wash his feet and legs up to the knees. As he leaned forward to roll up his pant legs, Zizes noticed something slip from what appeared to be a hidden pocket in the man’s pants. Since the rules stated she wasn’t allowed to speak while the cameras were rolling, she didn’t say anything to him about it. She did, however nudge Rutherford discreetly to get the cameraman’s attention. As surreptitiously as possible, she drew Matt’s attention to the object on the ground, which the gruff man hadn’t realized he’d dropped yet.

Another team arrived, and Zizes took the opportunity to pick up the item.

…

Kurt had enjoyed seeing his dad act like Lucille Ball as he’d stomped the grapes, and had laughed at him showing off for Carole, but inside his mind was bouncing all over the place. Where was Blaine? How could he prove Hunter was cheating? Where was Blaine? Should he let the PA at the Pit Stop know what he had overheard at the Airport? Where was Blaine?

He couldn’t believe how much Blaine had come to mean to him in such a short time. He knew it was highly possible he could fall in love with the other man. It was quite possible he was already halfway there. More than half.

Once they had gotten their next clue, instructing them to take a marked car and drive themselves to Pompeii, and park at the train station before walking to the ruins, Kurt had been on autopilot. Following where his dad led him, but not really processing any of it as his thoughts churned between Blaine and Hunter.

“Okay, Kiddo, snap out of it!” His dad said, glancing at him from the driver's seat. Finn and Carole where right behind them. “You know, I get that you’re missing your boy, but I need your head in the game right now. You’re supposed to be reading the map and telling me where to go!”

“Sorry, Dad. It’s just...I’ve just never felt this way about anyone before, not even Adam.”

Burt smiled at him. “Like I said, if he makes you as happy as I’ve seen you the last few days, then I approve. He seems like a good kid. And no matter what happens during the race, you’ll see him again after this is all over.”

Kurt smiled. “Thanks Dad. And you want to take the next onramp.” He thought about telling his dad about Hunter, but with the Camera rolling, he wasn’t sure if that was a good idea. He didn’t think his dad would overreact, he just wasn’t sure yet if he was going to tell the PA at the pit Stop without proof. He wanted to talk to Blaine about it. Please let the curly haired man be at the detour!

…

“It says to Drive to Pompeii and go to the ruins!” Rachel said, exasperated, not really looking at the clue. “This whole situation sucks. We should have been first in every leg!” She was still so upset that they were the best, and yet, still hadn’t finished in first even once!

Jesse was at the point where he was about to snap at Rachel and that said something because being equally egotistical, he had a really high bar for Rachel Berry tolerance. But the difference between Jesse St. James and Rachel Berry was that Jesse knew where to draw the line. However, being the talented actor he credited himself with being, he didn’t show his partner that she was starting to get to him, just as much as to everyone else.

…

_ “I knew Rachel was high maintenance. She’s the top female student at NYADA, and she’s only in her second year! Being the top male student, I realize you have to present yourself as the best at all times. And sometimes that means making certain that others realize that they can never achieve the same level of excellence that you have attained. Rachel does deserve to be the best, but I must admit, her whining has even gotten to me, made me wonder if she really is the best. Winners never whine!” _

...

“Let’s just focus on getting stuff done, without messing up. If we can pull straight shooters for the rest of the race, we’ll win,” he said. “This means you can’t throw any more tantrums over challenges, Rachel. I don’t want that blonde PA up my ass anymore.” He glanced around as though expecting Kitty to pop out of the metaphorical woodwork.

Rachel let out a tut as she made her way to the marked cars. “So we drive and then we go to the ruins. Sounds straightforward enough.”

It was a seven hour drive, and Jesse was glad when he spotted the signs for the ruins, finding the parking lot easily enough, but surprised there weren’t any specified parking spots, or any other marked cars. Could they possibly be in first? He seriously hoped so. Maybe Rachel would stop nagging him if they finally won a leg.

He spotted the clue box near the entrance to the ruins.

“Detour!” He read out loud. Eruption or Disruption.”

…

_ “In this Detour, teams must choose between two popular tourist attractions in the ruins of Pompeii. In Eruption, teams must listen and pay attention as a tour guide gives a long history lesson on the various structures in the ruins and points out specific buildings. Once the tour is over, without using any notes, teams must correctly locate the specified buildings on an unmarked map. Teams with a good memory will do well. _

_ “In Disruption, teams must try to accurately count the number of pillars in the temples as they listen to a tour guide give a history lesson, filled with dates and numbers. Teams who can’t focus may have difficulty keeping count.” _

…

“I counted one hundred and twelve,” Carole said, looking over at Burt.

“That’s what I got as well.”

Finn frowned. “I only counted one hundred and one.”

“I got one hundred and twelve. Majority rule?” Kurt said. They nodded and rushed over to the officiate, each team taking a chalkboard and writing one hundred and twelve on it. He smiled and handed them their clues.

“Drive yourselves to the Pit Stop! Sede degli Augustali, in Herculaneum!”

As they raced out of the ruins, Kurt saw three other teams, Rachel and Jesse, Quinn and Santana, and Sebastian and Hunter all heading to the entrance. He still didn’t see Blaine and Cooper anywhere. As they made their way through the parking lot back towards the train station, he spotted something in the window of one of the cars.

“Someone screwed up!” He said, pointing out the race flag hanging from the rearview mirror as they passed.

They made the seventeen minute drive to the Pit Stop, and the four of them sprinted for the mat.

…

_ This magnificent square structure was seat to the College of the Augustales, free men who were devotees of the cult of the Emperor Augustus. Columns, arches, cocciopesto floors, and two splendid frescoes: on the left wall, there is a depiction of Hercules entering Mount Olympus accompanied by Jupiter, Juno, and Minerva; the fresco on the right wall depicts Hercules wrestling Achelous. This is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race. The Last team to check in here, may be eliminated!” _

…

Phil looked up at Marley’s signal, then tapped the shoulder of the man beside him, who had been examining the fresco on the wall, waiting until the man was facing him fully, before signing. “Mr. Rumba, the racers are approaching. Are you ready?”

The mostly deaf man nodded, and straightened the Versace suit he was wearing. Phil pointed to where the two teams were rushing towards them. He noticed Burt Hummel slow slightly, and wondered if the older man had injured himself, or was allowing the other team to take the lead.

Finn and Carole hit the mat first, and Dalton nodded at them. “Welcome to Italy! You’ll have to speak up, I’m completely deaf in my right ear! Scarlet Fever.”

“Finn and Carole, you are team number one!” Phill announced, smiling at the mother and son. “And, as the winners of this leg, I am pleased to inform you that you have won a pair of Wave Rider jet skis, which you can enjoy after the race!”

“Alright!” Finn cheered.

“Burt and Kurt, come on in here!” Phil said. “In case you haven’t figured it out, you are team number two!” He teased, and the two men laughed. “Would you have believed it if anyone had told you that the two teams with the oldest racers on them would have the best record so far? Carole, two first place finishes for you so far, and Burt, you and Kurt have been top three in three out of four legs, including a first place!”

Burt laughed again. “You know what they say, Phil, you’re only as old as you feel. Some days I feel like Methuselah, but this journey has made me feel like a kid again.”

Phil smiled, “Now is that because of the race, or because of a certain racer? Your son isn’t the only one getting close to someone on the race, is he?”

Carole blushed and smacked Phil playfully on the arm.

Phil smiled as the PA led them off the mat, noticing that Kurt seemed to be whispering something to Marley, having an idea of what was being said, Phil readied himself for the next team.

“Rachel and Jesse, you are the third team to arrive.” He waited for the usual whine from the petite girl, before continuing. “However, you failed to read one of your clues properly. You were instructed to park at the train station in Pompeii, and to walk to the ruins. You drove directly to the ruins instead of walking. For this you have received a thirty minute penalty. Your time starts now. If you’ll have a seat on the bench over there, please.”

“Damnit Rachel!” Jesse spit out at the girl and she looked at him in surprise. “Third. We could have had third! And you had to go and read the stupid clue wrong!”

“Me?! This is my fault?!”

Jesse glared at her. “Every misfortune on this race so far has been your fault Rachel! And you’re the one who read off the clue!” Rachel stomped toward the bench in a huff as Phil frowned slightly at the couple. Jesse followed her in silence.

The next team arrived as the duo reached the bench.

“Quinn and Santana, you are team number three!” The cheerleaders hugged each other and did a little end zone dance. Phil laughed, and watched as they were led off to the shuttles waiting to take the racers to another site for their twelve hour rest period.

When the next team arrived, Phil stood stoically at the mat. “Sebastian and Hunter, you are the fourth team to arrive. However…”

…

Blaine lifted his backpack onto his shoulders, wondering why it suddenly felt ten times heavier. He was so tired. It had been a long day, and they hadn’t seen a single team at all along the way.

They had made up some time when their flight caught a tail wind, bringing them in half an hour sooner than expected. Then, at the music challenge, Blaine’s ear for music and the ability to sight read made it easy to pick out the correct sheet music, even if he didn’t really know the piece.

They had done well at the roadblock as well, right up till the very end when Cooper had slipped getting out of the vat of grapes and had smacked his elbow on the edge. They’d had to have the medic check and make sure it wasn’t broken. It wasn’t, but they had wrapped it and given him a sling, because it had begun to swell pretty bad. That had cost them a little time. By the time they had gotten to the ruins, it was late afternoon, and they just made it in time for the last tour.

With years of experience drowning out Cooper’s voice, Blaine managed to count all the pillars, which just left this walk to the Pit Stop, which seemed to be taking forever. They finally spotted Phil at the mat.

“Blaine and Cooper, you are the last team to arrive.”

“We know,” Blaine said. “It’s just one of those things, you know? Expect the unexpected on the Amazing Race.”

“Cooper, is there anything you want to tell your little brother?”

Cooper looked at Blaine, and grinned. “You said you wanted to come on the race to prove that you are just as good as me. Well, you didn’t do that. You proved you are way better than I could ever be, and anyone who can’t see that is an idiot, just like I’ve been an idiot for years. Maybe we didn’t make it to the end, but you never gave up. I respect the hell out of you. And I expect to be best man at your wedding to Kurt!”

Blaine blushed and shoved the taller man, making Phil smile.

“Well, as I said, you are the last team to arrive. However…

…

_ With the exception of Jonathan in season six, Phil had never been so thoroughly disgusted with a racer in the history of the show. “One of the crew members spotted the phone falling from your pocket. Another racer overheard you speaking on it to someone who had inside information on the tasks. After doing a more thorough background check, it has come to our attention that your cousin, Rick Nelson, is a member of the production crew. He has confessed to providing you with information that has given you an advantage over other teams on the race. What do you have to say for yourselves?” _

_ Sebastian’s jaw dropped. “You cheated?” _

_ Hunter turned on him. “What did you expect me to do? I got saddled with you as a partner because I couldn’t bribe or blackmail anyone else into doing this with me! With you as a partner I had to make up for your many shortcomings!” _

_ “My shortcomings?” Sebastian straightened to his full height. “I seem to recall you being the one who couldn’t score at the field hockey challenge! Off a ten year old girl! I scored all three of our goals!” _

_ “And then you got so distracted being a manwhore at the roadblock trying to get into tweedle dum’s pants!” Hunter spat back. “If I hadn’t demanded we do the schlep it challenge, we’d probably still be in Portugal as you made an ass out of yourself trying screw a guy who obviously wants nothing to do with you!” _

_ “He’s just playing hard to get!” Sebastian snapped. _

_ “Who, Blaine?” another voice called out. The three men had been so preoccupied they hadn’t noticed Tina and Mike arrive, or that Rachel and Jesse’s time penalty was up. “Blaine isn’t playing hard to get, he just doesn’t want to be gotten by you! Not that I blame him, who wants a creeper who probably sluts around because no one will sleep with him a second time after seeing what a tiny prick he has!” _

_ Before a full out fight could erupt, Phil waved over the security team, as the next team arrived. “Let’s make things official! Sebastian and Hunter, you have been disqualified and will leave the race immediately! Rachel and Jesse, that makes you team number four, and Tina and Mike, you are team number five! Dave and Azimio, you are team number six!” _

…

“We’re still in the race?” Blaine said, incredulously.

Phil smiled at them. “You are still in the race, and you are still in the hunt for the million dollars!”

Blaine hugged Phil, jumping up and down, almost knocking the host over, before turning to his brother and hugging him just as enthusiastically.. “We’re still in the game!”

Phil laughed. “I think there is someone waiting to see you just around the corner there.”

Blaine’s eyes widened, and he took off running. His face split into a huge grin when he saw the auburn haired beauty pacing the grounds. “Kurt!”

The pale man turned to look at him, face lighting up brighter than the full moon overhead.

“Blaine!” he started running towards Blaine as well, and they collided in a tangle of arms and legs, holding each other tight. “I thought you were going to be eliminated! You should have been here! Sebastian and Hunter were shouting so loud, and Hunter yelled that Sebastian still wet the bed! And Rachel was having a fit that she wasn’t the center of attention. They had to bring in the security team to break things up!”

“What happened? Hunter was cheating?”

Kurt nodded. “I overheard him at the airport, talking to someone who gave him details about the tasks we had to perform, and apparently they found a phone on him, as well as performance enhancing drugs! Their camera crew spotted the phone when it fell out of his pocket. They got disqualified!”

“So they’re gone, and Coop and I are still here! But we’re more than an hour behind everyone else. It’s going to take a miracle to keep Coop and me in the race.”

“Well, then, I should do this now, before it’s too late!” And before Blaine knew it, Kurt had pulled him into a kiss that rocked his world and curled his toes.


	6. Can I Get Some Cheese With That Whine?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the second chapter for today! I may not get to post any tomorrow because it's my birthday and I'm going to be gone all day. I'm not coming home after work tonight so I won't have access to my laptop until tomorrow night sometime.
> 
> Note: There is some minor discussion of religion in this chapter. And we'd like to mention that this story is set before the tragedy the great cathedral recently suffered.
> 
> Comments and kudos make us smile!

Blaine had the dopiest grin on his face as they rode in the shuttle vans to the hotel that would serve as their Pit Stop for the night. He wished he and Kurt had been allowed to ride together, but the pale man was in the other van. The curly haired man couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss! Afterwards, Kurt had teased him by saying there would be more kisses at the next Pit Stop, if Blaine found a way to not get eliminated.

“You look like the cat who got the canary,” Tina said from across the aisle, a smile on her face. Blaine just blushed. “That’s so sweet that you and Kurt found each other on the Amazing Race! Just think of the stories you can tell your grandkids one day!”

Blaine laughed. “Why does everyone assume we’re gonna get married? We’ve only known each other for a week!”

Tina reached out and touched his hand. “Because everyone but you can see how you make each other light up like a Christmas tree with a touch, and make each other smile with just a glance across a crowded room!”

Blaine smiled at her. “Thanks, Tina. Is this what it was like for you and Mike when you first met?”

The Asian girl smiled and shook her head no. “Actually, I was dating someone else when I met Mike. We were friends for a year before I realized I had feelings for him. I broke up with the guy I had been dating, and he understood. We’re actually still really good friends, but what I felt for him paled to what I feel for Mike now.”

“Do people give you weird looks because you aren’t married but have the same last name?” There was an awkward pause, and then they both broke out in giggles. They were still laughing when they pulled up at the hotel a few minutes later.   


Once they had been assigned rooms and given keys, they were shown to a conference room where a buffet had been set out for them. Once they had each filled a plate, he and Kurt found a spot in the corner to sit, thighs pressed together under the table, smiling at each other. They ate quietly, content to just be close for the moment.

“Now doesn’t that just make you lose your appetite?” Azimio’s voice cut into their comfortable silence. “Try to have a decent meal, and the damn fairies gotta spoil it with all that fairy dust in the air!”

Blaine felt Kurt stiffen beside him as he looked up to see the two jocks standing across the table from them. The one Kurt had called Karofsky was staring at the pale man with an unfathomable look on his face, but said nothing.

“Hey, crash test dummies, if you don’t like the company, why don’t you keep on moving?” Santana said from behind the behemoths. “Go on, move your Neanderthal butts off somewhere else!”

The darker man looked like he was going to argue, but flinched when the Latina reached for her hair, and both men walked away.

“Thanks, Santana,” Blaine said. “Why did he seem scared when you moved to touch your hair?”

The darker woman grinned at him. “I may have made them think I have razor blades hidden in my tresses.”

“Do you?” Kurt asked.

“Maybe,” She said, and wandered off to sit with Quinn. The blonde woman seemed to be lost in thought, and only nodded when the other woman spoke to her.

“I wonder what’s up with Quinn?” Blaine asked.

“She’s missing her daughter,” Finn said as he joined them. “Apparently tomorrow is her birthday.”

“How do you know that?” Kurt said, absently. He was watching Dave and Azimio out of the corner of his eye.

“I was talking to her a little in the van while we waited for Blaine and Cooper to arrive. She’s never been away from her daughter for more than a few days, and she is feeling a little guilty for not being there for her birthday.”

“I hope she'll be able to focus for tomorrow,” Kurt said.

“She'll be okay,” Tina said, joining them with her boyfriend. “We've been talking on the planes and during down times. She's tough, she'll pull through.”

They talked about various things as they ate, including movies, music and books. Kurt could not believe he and Blaine had so much in common. After they finished dinner, Kurt walked Blaine to his room.

“Good night, Blaine. I hope to see you at the next Pit Stop.” And he kissed the shorter man on the cheek.

Blaine grinned at him. “Night, Kurt. And it’s a date! See you at the Pit Stop!”

...

_ The small Roman town of Herculaneum was famously destroyed, along with Pompeii, by volcanic pyroclastic flows when Mount Vesuvius erupted in 79AD. This building, known as Sede degli Augustali, was the fourth Pit Stop in a race around the world. The seven teams waiting here have no idea what is waiting for them. _

_ Finn and Carole, who were the first to arrive at 6:02 pm, will depart at 6:02 am.” _

…

Kurt stifled a yawn as he waited for their turn at the departure mat. He hadn’t slept well the night before. He’d actually gotten more sleep the night they had camped out in front of the museum. He was certain it was because he’d had Blaine curled beside him then. No matter how much he had tried to get comfortable in the bed last night, he kept reaching out for something that wasn’t there. Someone.

The PA signaled Finn and Carole to open their clue, and Carole read it out loud. “Travel to Paris, France!”

The mention of Paris had Kurt perking up. He adored anything to do with France, and more specifically, Paris. Once they’d officially gotten their clue, they followed Carole to the airport in Naples. There was a flight that left at eight thirty, and got into Paris a little before eleven. They booked the tickets, learning that the flight was nearly full.   


They hoped no one else would be on it with them. It would give them a thirty minute jump on the other teams. But as they were waiting for the plane to board, Rachel and Jesse arrived, looking smug at having made the first flight. Well, Jesse looked smug. Rachel was pouting. Kurt wondered why, but didn’t care enough to ask as the announcement came for them to board.

…

_ “All teams are now flying to Paris, France on one of two flights. Once there, teams must take a taxi to the entrance of Denfert-Rochereau Ossuary, where they will receive their next clue.” _

…

“S’il vous plait, Denfert-Rochereau Ossuary! Vite!” Kurt asked the taxi driver, even as he saw Rachel and Jesse pull out in the cab in front of them. Finn and Carole had yet to emerge from the airport, due to Finn’s backpack ripping at the seam. He’d had to stop and repack a few things in his mom’s pack for now, and he’d buy a new one when they had some downtime.

The surly looking man just nodded, and pulled away from the curb, cutting off another vehicle. The cabbie shouted profanities at the other driver. Kurt gripped the grab bar over the door as they wove in and out of traffic at alarming speeds. He swore they took one corner on two wheels.

“Where did this guy learn to drive, Chicago?” the pale man heard his dad mutter under his breath as he tightened his seatbelt. “What exactly is this Ossuary place?” He asked at a more normal volume.

“It’s the Catacombs,” Kurt replied.

“Catacombs? You mean those caves filled with human bones arranged like artwork?”

“Yes, but only a small section of it is open to the public. People often call all two hundred plus miles of caverns the Catacombs, but it actually only refers to the section known to the French as Denfert-Rochereau Ossuary.”

“Are you American?” The cabbie asked, taking another sharp turn. “I could not tell, you’re accent was perfect.”

“Merci, and yes, we’re American.”

“I love Americans. They always speak their minds. We’re here!”

The cab stopped in front of a small, black, unobtrusive building. Kurt thanked the driver, and asked him to wait until they returned. He’d spotted Rachel and Jesse standing beside the clue box, and hurried his dad along. As they approached they heard Rachel complaining.

“Why can’t I read the clue?” She demanded. Jesse looked like he was at the end of his patience.

“Because the last time you read a clue, we got a thirty minute penalty because you couldn’t be bothered to read the entire thing!”

She huffed. “It’s not my fault! What’s the big deal if we drive somewhere instead of walking? It’s their fault for making up these stupid rules!”

“My god, can I get some cheese with that whine?” Kurt said, grabbing their clue. “It’s too bad you weren’t around during the Black Death! Your voice would have scared away all the rats!” Kurt swore he saw Jesse trying to cover a smirk at his remark (which was a feat, since the man never showed any emotion.)

“How rude!” the Jewish Diva said, stomping her foot.

“Rachel, I’m going to tell you this for your own good,” Kurt said, crossing his arms over his chest and facing the smaller girl. “You are a pathetic, demanding, spoiled brat, and no one likes you. Good luck on Broadway after people see this show and what a shrew you really are. No one is going to want to go see you as Fanny Brice after this!” He turned away for a moment before turning back. “Oh and one more thing, get some fashion advice. You somehow manage to dress like a toddler and a grandma at the same time!”

The brunette looked like she was about to explode, but Jesse grabbed her arm and dragged her away.

Kurt just rolled his eyes and opened the clue. “Locate the Tomb of the Val-De-Grace Hospital Doorkeeper in the Denfert-Rochereau Ossuary”

“What’s in that other envelope?” Burt pointed to the green envelope that had been inside the first.

“It’s a Fast Forward!” Kurt said, opening the envelope.

…

_ “A Fast Forward is a task that only one team may perform. Completing the task allows a team to skip all additional tasks and go directly to the Pit Stop. What teams don’t know is that in this Fast Forward, they must take a helicopter to Millau, France, where both team members must BASE Jump from the Millau Viaduct.” _

…

“What do you think, should we try for it?” Kurt asked. His dad thought it over for a moment.

“I don’t know, we really don’t need to use it, we’re not behind.”

Kurt nodded. They didn’t really need it, but Blaine did. Maybe they should leave it for them, and hope no one else takes it. Finn and Carole arrived just then. They discussed it with the other team, and decided not to try for it. They entered the catacombs together.

“So what is the Tomb of the Hospital Doorkeeper?” Finn asked.

Kurt shrugged. “The story goes that the man, Philibert Aspairt, wandered into the catacombs and got lost. His body was found eleven years later, and he was entombed on the location where he was found.”

Finn looked ill. “That’s so morbid!”

…

Blaine breathed a sigh of relief when he boarded the plane after running like a maniac through the terminal. They were on the same flight as several other teams, despite having had left the Pit Stop nearly an hour behind the others! That meant they actually had a chance of getting out of last place!

As he took his seat, he noticed that Quinn, who was across the aisle from him, was in a much better mood this morning. The producers had allowed her to call her daughter to wish her a happy birthday, as long as she didn’t disclose any information about the race so far. She once again wore that determined look on her face, and he knew her head was back in the game.

…

_ “Talking to Beth this morning reminded me why I came on this race,” Quinn said, looking right at the camera. “I’m doing this for her, for her future. I love her dearly and I miss her like crazy, but I have to focus on the game so that I can bring the prize money home to her.” _

…

“So, how is the birthday girl doing?” Blaine asked the blonde cheerleader.

Quinn smiled brightly. “She’s good. She’s excited for me, and told me to kick some butt!”

They both laughed. “She sounds like her mom.”

She shook her head. “She’s more like her dad. He was a badass, but he had a hidden softness to him. After Beth was born, he tried to be there for us, to help me take care of her, but he kind of had a messed up life, and got himself in trouble. He ended up in prison for robbing a bank, and died in a fight with another inmate.”

“That’s rough. It must be hard taking care of her all by yourself. I mean, Cooper is older than me, but it takes everything I have just keeping him in line. I can’t imagine what it’s like with a kid. You’re very strong.”

Quinn blushed. “It has been difficult, but now that my mother has divorced my dad and come back into my life, it hasn’t been so bad. She’s the one taking care of Beth right now so I could do the race.”

They continued to talk throughout the two plus hour flight, and Blaine really grew to admire the woman. He hoped she stayed in the race as long as possible. She deserved to be here more than some of the other racers.

Once they landed and reached the next route marker, Blaine was questioning his reasons for being on the race. It wasn’t like he really needed the million dollars. He had a trust fund worth five times that. And he’d already proven he could do anything his older brother could do, and Cooper even admitted that Blaine was the better brother.   


People like Quinn and Santana and Tina and Mike really needed the money more than he did. And so did Kurt. The thought of Kurt made him remember what the pale man had promised the night before, and suddenly Blaine really wanted to stay in the race for at least one more leg. He briefly considered trying for the Fast Forward, but who knew what that task was?

He and Cooper found the Tomb and got the next clue. “Travel by taxi to Notre Dame Cathedral and search for your next clue!”   


…

Kurt spotted the clue box near the stairs that lead to the famous cathedral. Once again Rachel and Jesse were right in front of them as they got their clues. The petite woman glared at Kurt, but didn’t speak.

Kurt just smiled mischievously, and opened the clue.

“Roadblock. Who has a burning need to count colors?”

…

_ “In this Roadblock, one team member must count the votive candles with race flags on them. The correct answer is ninety-three.” _

_ ... _

“I’ll do it!” Kurt said, noting out of the corner of his eye that Rachel was also heading into the cathedral. He did his best to ignore the woman as his eyes adjusted to the darker interior, and searched for the candles with the red and yellow race flags.

The obnoxious girl, however, followed him, and counted out loud, and Kurt was certain she wasn’t even really counting the correct candles, just being annoying to throw off his count. He rolled his eyes and did his best to ignore her. Until she just got ridiculous with it.

“Five hundred and seventy-two...One thousand and three…” Before she could open her mouth to rattle off another ridiculous number, Kurt turned on his heel.

“You’re not doing yourself any favors by pretending to count just to throw me off. Don’t forget, you still have to count too,” he said, his tone that biting one he used often when annoyed. He spun back around, ignoring the girl’s scoffing noise. But he didn’t miss what she muttered under her breath.

“Like you even know  _ how  _ to count.” This struck a chord with Kurt, mostly because in high school, he’d always felt like he was never challenged enough in his classes. He was a lot smarter than some people would give him credit for. Making a mental mark note of where he was in his count, he paused and turned back to face her once more.

“Okay, you need a little dose of reality, Rachel Berry. You want everyone to love you and think you’re the best. Well, your attitude is not going to do you any favors in the popularity department. In fact, your arrogance and holier than thou act, is going to turn people off of you. It’s exactly the kind of attitude that garners negative attention in the public eye.”

Rachel scoffed again and placed her hands on her hips. “What do you know? You’re not a star! You’re just a nobody who works for a stupid fashion magazine!” Clearly, the girl had an issue with how to handle criticism or anything negative thrown her way for that matter.

Kurt folded his arms across his chest, his clue still in one hand. “Okay, so maybe I didn’t get accepted to NYADA and I’m not on Broadway like I always wanted to be. But you know what sets me apart from you?”

“What?” she asked, not at all being polite with her tone.

“The fact that I am humbled by the times I am turned down, and I learn from them. Seeing as I’m guessing you’ve never heard a no before, I doubt you have the ability to be humble in that way.”

His words shut Rachel up. It was as though something might have just clicked in her head. But knowing the girl, even if it did, it wouldn’t last for long.

“Excuse me,” Kurt said, and walked away to return to his counting.

...

Rachel was still standing there looking slightly dumbfounded as he walked off. A switch had been flipped and for once, she started thinking about something other than herself. Could he be right? Was she really putting out negative feelers that would garner hate, rather than love?

“The way I see it, you got to play the game your own way hobbit,” a voice said and the brunette whipped her head around. A part of her was expecting Santana, but that was not the case. Instead, she found herself looking at a tall slightly intimidating woman wearing a tracksuit. For a moment, Rachel wondered if this woman had an inability to smile or something, because her expression just looked downright haughty.

“Who are you?” she asked, not hiding her bewilderment.

The woman shook her head. “I’m the keeper of the candles. When my great-great-great Aunt Fleur left me this position, I have to say, I didn’t think it would entail keeping track of how many candles are set up each day. Apparently, there’s a limit or something.”

Rachel was quiet, not sure exactly how to respond to this strange woman. She wasn’t aware the cathedral would have such a position, nor did she think someone’s three times great aunt would be alive long enough to leave them anything.

“As far as I can tell, there are too many over the limit. I’ve never seen so many red and yellow flagged candles. I think I counted ninety-three.”

...

“Ninety-three!” Kurt whispered to the official, not wanting Rachel to overhear him. The man smiled and handed him the next clue. He walked respectfully until he was outside, when he broke into a jog to where his dad was waiting.

Burt clapped his hands excitedly when he saw Kurt coming out of the cathedral, but Rachel must be a quick counter because she wasn’t too far behind him.

Kurt and his dad raced over to where their taxi was still waiting before ripping open the clue. “Drive yourselves to Dijon, France!”

“Sounds like mustard,” Burt joked at the name. Kurt playfully hit his arm.

“Dad!” he cried out before rushing to get their packs out of the trunk of the taxi. “Merci beaucoup!” he said to the driver as he paid their fare, and gave him a generous tip. Rachel and Jesse were already loading into one of the marked cars. There was no way that he was going to let them get ahead, not after all the drama with Rachel.

\---

_ “Teams are now driving to Dijon, France in one of these marked cars. Once there, they must travel to 16 Rue de la Chouette, where they will find their next clue.” _

\---

Blaine and Cooper were just pulling up in the taxi at Notre Dame as Burt and Kurt and Rachel and Jesse were pulling out in their marked cars. The curly haired man sighed. He had kind of hoped he would get a moment to see Kurt while they were in Paris of all places. The city of love. Not that he would admit it to Cooper, but he’d kind of had an image of him and Kurt visiting love locks bridge, to place their own lock among the many others.

Was he a sap? Maybe, but Kurt just made him want to do all the most romantic things for the other man.

“Blaine,” Cooper said, getting the younger Anderson’s attention once more. Blaine was beginning to realize that his brother hadn’t really used one of his obnoxious nicknames for him since he’d told him everything about how he felt back at that train station. On the one hand, it was nice to see that his older brother actually did respect him. On the other hand, it was strange to see Cooper not being Cooper. For a moment, the younger man considered asking him to be a little bit more like the Cooper he knew. But he decided against it. Perhaps if Cooper stayed a bit more on this serious racer side, they might just manage to stay in it. And as long as Kurt was still there, Blaine wanted to be too. “Blaine?” Cooper said again, once more snapping the younger man out of it.

“Sorry, what?”

“The clue?” Cooper questioned, raising the clue envelope.

“Right,” Blaine replied. Once they had ripped open the clue, Blaine decided he would do the roadblock. Particularly because he was very good at observant counting, obviously after the last detour.

He spotted Quinn heading into the cathedral as well, and noticed her pause and glance around in awe at the beauty of the church.

\---

_ “I was raised Catholic,” Quinn said, smiling sadly at the camera. “Though I kind of had a crisis of faith when I got pregnant at sixteen. The church kind of abandoned me, though I still believed in God’s Plan. I’ve never questioned my faith in Him, but I started questioning the church. Mary gave Birth to Jesus at around sixteen, and she is revered, but I was ridiculed and punished.   
_

_ “And despite that, I’ve kind of missed the awe of standing in a church and feeling God’s presence. Walking into that beautiful church, I could feel his love surrounding me once more, and I just stood there in awe for several minutes.” _

…

Blaine smiled when she glaned his way, and began to count.

...

“Detour!” Kurt read when they arrived in Dijon almost four hours later. “Cut the Mustard or Slice the Cheese!”

…

_ “In this detour, teams must choose between two common practices in Dijon. In Cut the Mustard, each team member must carry a twenty pound bag of mustard seeds from the storeroom to the mill. Once there, they will have to grind enough seed to fill three large jars with mustard paste. _

_ “In Slice the Cheese, teams use a forklift to retrieve a hundred pound wheel of cheese from the aging room shelves, and slice three pounds worth. Once they have completed the task and tasted the cheese, they will receive their next clue.” _

…

“I’d say slicing cheese sounds faster,” Burt said, and Kurt agreed. Unfortunately, it looked like Rachel and Jesse had the same idea. The two teams had leap frogged each other all the way from Paris, and Kurt had been frustrated when the obnoxious team had beaten them to the clue. At least Finn and Carole had caught up with them as well, after having fallen behind a little after the Ossuary.

Burt skillfully retrieved the cheese, but much to everyone’s surprise, Rachel was faster. Finn took a little longer, but soon all three teams were slicing the cheese, careful to make each slice uniform. Too thick or too thin was rejected, as were any slices that weren’t perfectly rectangle.

Rachel and Jesse just barely beat out Burt and Kurt, and took off after getting their clue. Kurt quickly opened theirs. “Drive yourselves to the next Pit Stop!”

…

_ “Opened in 1787, the Musée des Beaux-Arts is housed in the Palace of the Dukes of Burgundy. This is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race. The last team to check in here, may be eliminated!” _

…

Marley gave the signal to Phil that teams were approaching. He nodded, grateful for an excuse to interrupt the young woman he’d been talking to. Or rather, she did all the talking, but none of it had many any sense.

“I’m sorry, Brittany, it’s time to take our positions.”

“Okay.” The striking blonde smiled vapidly and stood beside Phil in her long, paisley hippie dress. The outfit was complete with fringed suede boots and a circlet of daisies in her hair.

Phil wasn’t sure if he should feel relieved when he saw that Rachel and Jesse were in the lead, or panic at the girl’s reaction. He was shocked when the girl seemed to be more subdued.

“Hi! Did you know you were in Dijon? I thought that was just a mustard, but apparently it’s a place, too. Do you think they have mustard fountains here instead of water fountains?”

Phil was dumbstruck for a moment, but then remembered he had a job to do.

“Rachel and Jesse, you are team number one!” He paused, expecting a shriek of excitement from the brunette, but she just smiled and hugged him.

“Thank you, Phil!” She said, in an almost reasonable tone of voice.

“Well, as the winners of this leg of the race, you have won $10,000, that’s $5,000 each, that you can spend after the race!”

“That’s great!” Jesse said. Phil watched in awe as the girl walked off the matt almost demurely, and wondered who had given her such an attitude adjustment. He didn’t have time to wonder, because the second team was arriving on the mat.

“Hello! You’re a dolphin, aren’t you? Dolphins are cool, I don’t know why people mistreat them. Are you a French Dolphin?”

All three men just blinked at the blonde.

“Um, Burt and Kurt, you are team number two!”

The father and son hugged each other, laughing as they were led off the mat.

…

“What was that?!” Blaine asked as he steered the car to the side of the road. A loud  _ PING _ had come from the engine, and now the scent of burning oil filled the car. He popped the hood with trepidation, dread filling him as smoke billowed out.

“Somehow I don’t think even your boyfriend’s dad could fix that!” Cooper said as he and the cameraman got out. Lauren, their sound person on this leg, shook her head and took out her personal cell phone to text for a replacement car.

…

_ “If a team’s vehicle breaks down through no fault of their own, a new one will be provided, however, no time credit will be given for the delay.” _

…

Blaine groaned as he spotted Quinn and Santana approaching. The Latina was driving, and she slowed down as they passed. “Tough break, short stack!” She shouted as she passed. Coming from her, it was almost a genuine show of concern.

To make matters worse, Dave and Azimio passed about twenty minutes later. He saw the two men pointing and laughing at them as they passed, but at least they didn’t comment. Their replacement vehicle showed up a few minutes after that. As they were transferring their backpacks to the new vehicle, Tina and Mike passed them, as well.

They were back on the road a few minutes later, and Blaine might have sped just a little to try and catch up with the other teams. It worked, somewhat. It looked like Quinn and Santana were just finishing a task when they parked and ran to the clue box. Tina and Mike were still slicing cheese, it looked like.   


Cooper read their clue, and they agreed that the cheese task seemed easier. Quinn waved at them as she and Santana raced back to their car. “Dave and Azimio chose the mustard challenge,” She called out. “If you hurry you might beat them with the cheese!”

Blaine called out a thanks as he and Cooper jogged to the aging room.

…

“I’m sorry, but Lord Tubbington told me I shouldn’t talk to giants. He said his friend Jack made one angry once and it caused all kinds of problems.”

Finn looked at the blonde girl with a confused frown on his face, unable to fathom what she was babbling about. “Who is Lord Tubbington?”

“My cat.”

Phil cleared his throat. “Finn and Carole, you are team number three!”

Once they had been led off the mat by another PA, Phil waved Marley over. “I think maybe Brittany could use a break in the refreshment tent, with a nice cool drink. I think the heat is getting to her.”

“Oh, no thanks,” Brittany replied. “I’m fine. Do you hear music?” She began to dance to the music that only she could hear.

“I’ll just bring her a bottle of water, “ Marley said, watching the girl in concern.

Brittany was still dancing a bit later when word that the next team was approaching reached them and Phil gently tapped her shoulder. “We have another team,” he said.

“Okay! Is there an ‘I’ in this one?” she asked. “Lord Tubbington says there is no ‘I’ in team, but then what is the leader?”

Phil tried to ignore her strange outbursts and cleared his throat as the next team came running around the bend.

Quinn and Santana were putting their years as cheerleaders to good use as they raced towards the mat. Beside him, Phil noted that Brittany had gone still, her mouth slightly agape and he wondered momentarily what had got her in awe.

“You’re the prettiest unicorn I ever saw,” Brittany said as the two girls reached the mat, her eyes on Santana. Quinn raised an eyebrow and glanced between Brittany and Phil and for the first time ever, the host shrugged.

To everyone’s surprise, Santana offered a genuine smile in return to the blonde girl. “Well, you’re a very pretty one yourself,” she replied. Brittany giggled.

“Quinn and Santana,” Phil said, drawing their attention back to him. “You are team number four!”

Santana had barely heard him as Quinn clapped in relief. “I’ll take it, as long as it means I can get to know her,” she said, eyes still on Brittany.

“Will you be my unicorn?” Brittany said.

“I would love to be your unicorn.” Santana said, and Brittany clapped giddily.

Phil and Quinn watched Santana walk off with the other woman, both kind of shocked to be forgotten about. They glanced back at each other, and just shrugged. Quinn followed the PA to the refreshment tent.

There was no greeter at the mat when the next two teams arrived. “Dave and Azimio, you are team number five!

“Tina and Mike, you are team number six!”

…

Blaine sighed as he walked up to the mat with his brother. He knew they were last again. The car throwing a rod and shredding the engine had pretty much killed any chance of a comeback. “We’re here, Phil.”

The host didn’t speak at first, just eyed the two men for a moment. “Blaine and Cooper, you are the last team to arrive.”

Blaine just nodded, as Cooper shifted from one foot to the other. “We kind of figured, Phil,” the older Anderson said. Blaine could only think about Kurt, wondering how long it would be before he could see the other man again.

Phil continued looking at them dramatically. “I’m….” He paused. “Pleased to inform you that this is a non elimination leg, and you are still in the race!”

The curly haired man was certain he had heard wrong, but then Cooper was hugging him and lifting him off the ground, swinging him around. “Luck of the Irish, Phil! Luck of the Irish!” Cooper shouted in a horrible Irish brogue.

“We’re still in the race?” Blaine asked, numb.

“You’re still in it!” Phil said. “There is a little bit of bad news though. Sometime during the next leg of the race, you will encounter a speed bump, a task that only your team must perform. You must complete it before you can continue with the race.”

“Are you the other dolphin’s dolphin?” said a pretty blonde woman dressed in hippie chic. She was walking towards them with Santana, who had a smug look on her face. Both women’s clothing were rumpled, and the circlet of daisies the blonde wore was crushed on one side.

Phil raised his eyebrow at the sight of the women. When had he lost all control of this show? Next season, he would hire the greeters himself.


	7. That's Gonna Leave A Mark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long guys! This chapter is where the Explicit rating really comes into play. ;) I will be adding another chapter as well right after this and then hopefully another two when I get home tomorrow.
> 
> Two of the challenges here are actual challenges faced on The Amazing Race at one point!
> 
> As always, comments and kudos make us smile!

Knowing that he and Cooper would encounter a Speed Bump on the next leg of the race, was a small price to pay for the opportunity to keep going. Blaine had been so sure they were out. The idea of it being a non-elimination leg hadn’t even crossed his mind. Granted, he was beginning to wonder if maybe he and Cooper were one of the luckiest teams to ever run the race. Who came in last two legs in a row and could still race on? Blaine couldn’t recall it happening in the series before. Granted there were like thirty seasons to remember.

He’d deliberately kept it from Kurt that he and Cooper were safe, wanting to surprise him. He found the other man sitting solemnly alone and looking down. Clearly, he thought that Blaine had been eliminated.

A comforting smile wrote itself across his face as he approached Kurt. “Is this seat taken?” he asked sweetly, prompting the pale man to look up at him in surprise.

“Blaine!” Kurt cried, jumping up and into his arms almost immediately. Blaine hugged him tightly, not wanting to ever let him go. “I thought you’d been eliminated!” he added, voice tinged with the threat of tears.

“We got really lucky,” Blaine said gently, rubbing Kurt’s back. “It was a non-elimination leg.” Kurt buried his face in Blaine’s neck as they stood there for a moment, just holding each other.

“I really care about you Blaine,” Kurt said.

“I care about you too Kurt, a lot,” Blaine replied. He pulled back enough so that he could look at him properly, the threat of tears had been glistening in those perfect glasz eyes of his. “Hey, no tears, okay? I’m still here. And I promise you, I’m not going anywhere.”

Kurt’s only response was to close the gap between them, giving Blaine exactly what he had promised at the last Pit Stop. Blaine’s arms dropped and encircled the taller man’s waist, as he relaxed into this sweet moment. Even now, with it being the second time they had kissed, the curly haired man could still hear the fireworks, and he had a feeling that might be the case every time he was able to kiss this perfect man.

They broke apart, and Blaine decided it was over all too soon, but Kurt just took him by the hand and lead him away, heading for a much more private area where there were no people around.

“Where are we going?” Blaine asked gently.

“Anything can happen in the next leg, Blaine,” Kurt said gently as he sat down, pulling the other down beside him. “I want to make absolutely sure I show you everything I feel before we leave again, just in case.”

Blaine looked at him in a state of wonder, his mouth slightly agape. There was one thought in his mind when Kurt said those words.

“Are you sure?” the curly haired man asked.

“Yes,” Kurt replied. He bent down to start rummaging in his backpack, which Blaine only now noticed he had with him. “Now don’t laugh at me,” Kurt went on, a statement that had Blaine looking slightly confused. “But I may have come prepared.” He extracted something from his pack and sat up again, a slight blush covering his cheeks. Blaine glanced at what the other man was holding and his eyes got wide.

“You brought condoms and lube on The Amazing Race?” the curly haired man deadpanned.

Kurt blushed a little again. “Well,” he replied, “I am a man, aren’t I? How does anyone expect us to get through this race without some kind of relief? Especially with so many attractive people around,” he said. “Minus Rachel,” he added after a moment.

“So many attractive people?” Blaine questioned. “Should I be jealous?”

“Not in the least, honey,” Kurt told him, sliding a little closer to him. “No one here can hold a candle to how attractive you are.”

It was Blaine’s turn to blush.

“I think you’re absolutely radiant, too, Kurt,” he replied softly, feeling the warmth from the extra color to his cheeks spreading through the rest of him. He lifted a hand to place upon the pale man’s cheek and Kurt leaned into his touch. “You make me feel things I’ve never felt before. I was captivated by you the moment I saw you.”

“Really?” Kurt asked, turning his head just slightly so he could place a kiss to the center of Blaine’s palm.

“Absolutely,” Blaine responded. He let out a sort of gasping sigh at the feel of Kurt’s lips lightly pressed to his palm. It felt just like a butterfly kiss, and this man was so soft and gentle and caring, Blaine wanted to be his everything. In that moment and longer.

“Oh Blaine,” Kurt whispered before he once more closed the gap and this time, he didn’t break the kiss. Instead, he gently pushed Blaine backward, until he was lying almost fully beneath him. One of Kurt’s hands boldly traveled to Blaine’s waist and he tugged at his polo shirt until it came untucked.

Blaine gasped in surprise as only a moment later he felt Kurt’s soft fingertips pressing lightly against his skin. Kurt took the opportunity then to slip his tongue into Blaine’s mouth, which caused the other man to gasp again, but he eagerly sucked on Kurt’s tongue, welcoming the intrusion.

Both men had their conquests before. Their experiences, both good and bad, with Kurt being with one guy who he’d thought was it for him. But even now, in the beginning stages of something beautiful, neither felt any of those conquests had come close to feeling how being with each other felt.

This was only a pit stop on the race. They had to make their time together count. Like Kurt said, anything could happen, and if this was the last time the two got to spend together until after the race, they were going to make the most of it.

The first thing Blaine noted, was that Kurt was quick with his hands. He already had Blaine’s shirt nearly off him. The one obstacle in the way, they didn’t really want to stop kissing each other long enough for Kurt to pull it off over his head. It was such that Blaine considered just letting him rip it off, but he didn’t have his pack with him, as he had left it with Cooper, and he wasn’t keen on explaining why he was walking around the rest camp without a shirt on.

So finally, they both relented and Kurt pulled Blaine’s polo up over his head and very neatly, tossed it aside. He didn’t really have time to fold clothes, but he was not about to be careless with them either.

For a moment, Kurt laid above him, admiring every curve and crevice of Blaine’s tanned physique. He ran a hand over the other man’s chest, lightly stroking in a way that had the other shivering at his touch.

“Kuuurrrtt,” Blaine muttered in a tone that sounded much closer to a guttural moan rather than a normal speaking voice. And suddenly, Kurt’s lips were on his again, and Blaine could swear he heard a sound akin to a growl leave the other man’s mouth as Kurt attacked his lips.

In response, Blaine’s own nimble fingers made quick work of the buttons on Kurt’s shirt and spread it open, moving to swipe each side off at the shoulder. It lightly landed behind the other man. Blaine was in awe at how smooth Kurt’s skin was. Creamy white and like silk. He had never been with anyone that felt so soft and wonderful before.

Kurt sat up a moment later, his hands starting to work at Blaine’s pants. “Do you know how good these pants make your ass look?” he asked him as he worked as quickly as he could to undo them.

“You’re one to talk. Your pants look practically painted on,” Blaine replied. Kurt smirked at him, pausing for a moment to grab one of Blaine’s hands and run it up his own leg. Blaine shuddered.

“Does it feel like a second skin?” Kurt asked playfully.

“I just want it off,” Blaine said. “Now please.” Always one with polite manners, he grinned at the other man as Kurt returned to getting his pants off.

As the pale man began to slide Blaine’s pants off of him, he ran his hand over the bulge in the other’s underwear and Blaine swore under his breath. He was already hard enough and now he felt like he had just become impossibly harder at that very simple touch. Kurt smirked again.

“Anyone ever tell you you’re hot when you smirk like that?” Blaine asked, his breath starting to hitch.

“No, but you can tell me that anytime you’d like,” Came the response. Once he had neatly tossed Blaine’s pants to meet his shirt on the floor, Kurt sat up, straddling the other man and admired him in nothing but his underwear, the prominent bulge giving the pale man a stronger hunger. He wanted to be the one that would satisfy that beautiful bulging organ.

Blaine whined, wanting more contact from the other and Kurt gave him a sultry look. Instead of giving the other what he wanted, he made a show of removing his own tight jeans, a feat given he did it without ever once getting up from his position.

“Fuck!” Blaine cried out the expletive, a rarity for the usually dapper and polite man. “You’re flexible!” he added.

“Mm,” Kurt replied, hovering back over him, both men now in nothing but their underwear. “Perhaps I will let you make use of that in the future.” Blaine didn’t need to know yet how Kurt had gotten so flexible. There were some things he hadn’t admitted to even his closest friends yet. Things about his life that only his dad knew. But he was determined to let Blaine learn everything about him. But right now, there was still the fun in a bit of mystery.

Kurt once more covered Blaine’s mouth with his own, now applying friction between the two of them, wanting to get the other as hard as he possibly could without sending him over the edge just yet. He hadn’t even gotten to the good part.

“Kuurrrttt,” Blaine guttered out again, gently pushing the other man. “If you don’t stop I’m going to explode right now,” he told him.

Kurt grinned, sitting up once more, only to gently hook his thumbs into the other’s waistband and pull his underwear down. Blaine’s erection sprang free and Kurt eyed it like a dog eyeing a juicy steak. His mouth was practically watering, but there were other times for blowjobs. This time, he wanted to become one with the other man.

Grabbing the bottle of lube, which had obviously been used a couple of times so far, indicating Kurt had taken a few private moments, he squirted a generous amount into his hand, rubbing it between his fingers to make sure it was warm enough.

“How often have you bottomed?” he asked Blaine. He wanted to take care to make sure he didn’t hurt him.

Blaine blushed. “Actually, not quite that often. It’s not that I don’t like it,” he explained. “It’s just that, I feel it’s more personable to bottom.” Kurt could understand where he was getting from. Being a bottom meant putting your full complete and utter trust in your partner. And there was really only one person in Kurt’s own experiences that he’d let top him.

“Do you want me to bottom instead?” he asked the other man, because he knew that he explicitly trusted Blaine more than he trusted anyone else. And if Blaine wasn’t okay with bottoming for him yet, he wouldn’t be offended.

The curly haired man shook his head. “No,” he said sincerely. “I want to feel all of you Kurt. I have for days. Everywhere I turn in this race I’m looking for you, just to catch a glimpse at your stunning self. I feel more for you than I have ever felt for anyone. So please, make me yours in a way only you can.”

Kurt was completely touched by his words and he felt his heart melting right then in there. Afraid that he might start ugly crying if he tried to say much more, he simply and sweetly said, “Okay.”

Lube warmed between his fingers, Kurt lowered his hand and brushed his thumb over Blaine’s entrance. It was enough to pull a moan from the other man. Kurt could see the little pucker quiver at his touch and he brushed over it once more before slowly inserting his first finger.

Blaine let out a sort of grunting noise and bit down on his lip, eyes watching Kurt’s every move.

“Are you okay?” Kurt asked gently, and Blaine nodded. “Let me know if you need me to stop,” the pale man added sincerely and again, Blaine nodded.

Kurt continued his ministrations, very slowly and gently pumping his finger in and out of Blaine’s entrance, krooking it to stretch him out a bit on the inside. Blaine let out a moan, already starting to feel the pleasure of the actions, even though it was just one finger.

“Another,” the curly haired man panted out.

“Are you sure?” Kurt asked, wanting to confirm it first. Blaine nodded. “Okay,” Kurt said gently. He very carefully pushed a second finger in with his first and Blaine whined, once more biting his lip at the fresh intrusion and Kurt found that he looked so incredibly sexy like that. This beautiful man lying naked beneath him, his toes curling at every spark Kurt was already eliciting in him.

Kurt expertly scissored his fingers, working to stretch Blaine wider, wanted to make everything smoother for when he pushed into him. He could feel his own erection painfully pressing against the fabric of his underwear, but he tried his best to ignore it. Wanting only to free himself when he was ready to enter Blaine. As such, he quickened his ministrations just a little bit.

After a few moments, Kurt added a third figure and Blaine let out a squeal and Kurt smiled at just how adorable it sounded. Now with three fingers pumping and scissoring, and stretching him out, Kurt was beginning to anticipate what was coming. He krooked his fingers at just the right moment and Blaine yelped. He’d found that overly sensitive bundle of nerves. Kurt made a mental note of it, wanting to pull more from the other man with the next step.

“Are you ready?” the pale man asked after a number of moments of continuing to stretch Blaine open with his fingers.

“Please,” Blaine begged. Kurt smiled at him, a real loving smile. He pulled his fingers out with a squelching pop and Blaine whimpered, his hole pulsing around the sudden loss of Kurt’s fingers, clutching cool air.

Kurt slid his own underwear off and dropped them to the ground, sighing with relief as his erection sprang free of its fabric prison. He grabbed a condom and ripped the wrapper open with his teeth, an action that had Blaine gazing at him in wonder. He felt a shudder roll through the man beneath him.

The pale man made a show of rolling the condom on over his cock, letting Blaine have a complete view of exactly what he was doing. He moved to hover over him, positioning himself at Blaine’s entrance, his tip brushing against the little pucker and Blaine let out a whine.

“Blaine,” Kurt said gently, drawing the curly haired man’s eyes to his own. Blaine looked up at him with his gorgeous hazel orbs lust blown.  


“Please, please make love to me Kurt,” the curly haired man said, unaware of the wording he had chosen to use. He was so in the moment, he didn’t realize what he could have been indicating with his choice of words.

But Kurt took it in stride, his face alight with wonder, mostly because no one had ever asked him to have sex with them in that way before. And it felt perfect, so natural, coming from the man beneath him.

The pale man leaned down and gently pressed his lips to Blaine’s, capturing his attention as he slowly started to push into him. Blaine let out a noise and arched his hips up a bit, trying to meet Kurt’s thrust and pushing the other man into him deeper. Kurt moaned, feeling the walls of Blaine tightening around him and making his cock warm and snug inside him. He fit perfectly, like the missing piece of the puzzle.

A few moments later, Kurt bottomed out and he stilled for a moment, wanting to give Blaine a chance to adjust to him being in him. He could feel his balls pressed against Blaine’s ass and it took him a second to wrap his head around the fact that they were here, becoming one with each other.

Blaine opened his eyes again, looking up at the beautiful face above him. “Are you okay, angel?” he asked Kurt.

Kurt gazed back at him. “Better than I’ve ever felt in my life,” he said, gently moving to kiss the other man again. “You are more than perfect Blaine.”

The curly haired man smiled. “So are you. You can move now,” he said.

Very slowly, Kurt started to thrust within him, picking up momentum and speed just a bit with every thrust. But he had no intention of going to fast. He wanted it to be slow and sweet and perfect. That was how making love was in Kurt’s mind. Rough sex had never really been his forte. Indeed, it was another thing that he supposed would depend on who his partner was. Maybe, he and Blaine could get to that point someday. But right now, this was perfect for him.

Blaine’s breathing increased with every thrust and Kurt could see the perspiration beginning to form on his brow. It made him look all the more sexier and he thrust just that little bit harder, still keeping a slow and sweet pace.

“Oh Kurt,” Blaine said breathlessly. It was followed a moment later by a cry. “Right there! Right there baby!” Kurt had found that bundle of nerves. He switched his angle slightly and continued to thrust into him, hitting that sweet spot with every stroke of his cock.

Blaine was trying so hard to be quiet, but it was becoming nearly impossible. He managed to grab his shirt from the floor and stuffed it in his mouth, biting down on it to keep from being too loud. The last thing they wanted the other racers to know, was that they were back here having sex.

The shirt was helping, if only a little bit, but it helped some. It lasted all of two minutes it. For at that moment, Blaine felt his orgasm roll through him. “KURT!” he cried out, as he came hard between the two of them, covering both their stomachs in the sticky mess.

Blaine’s face blown with his orgasm was enough to send Kurt over the top and he came just as hard, filling the condom with his own seed. He threw his head back and shut his eyes, mouth agape as he thrusted through his orgasm, wave after wave of aftershocks threatening to make him hard again, though he knew that wasn’t really possible.

Kurt finally collapsed atop Blaine, both of them sweaty and breathing heavily. Blaine reached up a hand to gently push back some of Kurt’s hair back out of his sweaty face and gently raised his head to press a kiss to his forehead.

“That was perfect,” he whispered.

Kurt snuggled down against him. “Amazing,” he replied. “I wish I could just stay here like this forever.”

Blaine knew what he was getting at because he felt the same way. “When the race is over, I promise, you can spend as many nights as you want, making love to me and sleeping in my arms,” he told him.

Kurt raised his head. “So, you think there’s a future for us?” he asked.

“Oh without a doubt,” Blaine replied. “Kurt, there is a moment when you say to yourself, oh, there you are, I’ve been looking for you forever. For me, that moment was the very moment I laid eyes on you at the start of the race.”

“Oh Blaine,” Kurt said, voice soft. He gently kissed him and laid his head back down. He would pull out and get them cleaned up when he was ready, but for now, he just wanted to lay there in Blaine’s arms.

…

When they finally made their way to the rest tent, the other racers gave them knowing looks. Perhaps they hadn’t made a lot of noise, but they definitely both had a certain glow that gave them away. Fortunately no one said anything about it. Well, except Santana.

“Wanky!”

“Look who’s talking,” Kurt retorted.

She just smirked and walked away.

“Kurt, kiddo,” his dad called out to him. “You need to eat and start getting ready for bed. We have an early start tomorrow.”

Kurt smiled at Blaine and they both went over to the refreshment tent.

…

_ “Musée des Beaux-Arts is one of the oldest museums in France. Located in the Palace of the Dukes, this structure houses some of the most famous works of art from throughout history. This was the fifth Pit Stop on a race around the world. The seven teams waiting here have no idea what is in store for them. _

_ “Rachel and Jesse, who were the first arrive at 6:55pm, will depart at 6:55 am.” _

…

Rachel tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for the cue to open the envelope. It seemed to Kurt that the old Rachel was back, minus the constant whining. Finally, the PA gave the signal, and the diva opened the envelope.

“Travel by train to Bern, Switzerland,” she read, before she and Jesse took off for the marked cars. Not long after, Kurt and his dad were also making their way to the train station. Once there, Kurt noticed Rachel and Jesse arguing on the platform, though they were far enough away they couldn’t hear what was being said.

“We need tickets on the first train to Bern,” Burt said to the gentleman at the ticket counter.

“The first train departs at nine am,” was the bored reply. And that was most likely what had Rachel upset. Everyone would be on the same train. To Kurt, this was great news. It meant that Blaine and his brother would be level with the rest of them, and if they had a clean run, they could move out of last place.

They got their tickets, and found a spot far enough from the other team not to have to listen to Rachel bitching.  


Kurt was distracted, watching the clock, waiting for the moment Blaine would arrive. The other teams arrived one at a time. Finn and Carole got there shortly after seven thirty, Santana and Quinn just before eight, Dave and Azimio at a quarter after, and Tina and Mike at eight thirty. Kurt watched the minutes tick away as he waited. And waited. Where were Blaine and Cooper?  


The brothers burst into the train station at five minutes to nine, and just barely got their tickets before the train pulled in.

“What took you so long?” Kurt all but demanded.  


“Our alarm clock didn’t go off!” Blaine said, out of breath from running. The sound of his heavy breathing reminded Kurt of the sounds the darker man had made last night, and made him want to kiss him breathless, but knew it wasn’t a good idea at the moment.

…

_ “All teams are now traveling by train to Bern, Switzerland. They will find their next clue outside the train station. _

...

They were all pretty spread out on the train, but Blaine and Cooper, Burt and Kurt, and Finn and Carole all managed to be close together, and spent the almost three and a half hour train ride chatting and playing the travel sized magnetic scrabble game Carole had bought when they had gotten Finn a new backpack that morning at the train station gift shop.

When they arrived in Bern, there was a mad scramble to get off the train and locate the clue box. Kurt spotted it first, but Rachel just beat him out, stepping on his foot as they reached it.

“Detour! Parliament or Peppermint!” Burt read out loud.

_ … _

_ “In this detour, teams must decide what they want to deliver. In Parliament, teams must travel by bicycle to the Parliament building. Once there they will search for a window marked with a race flag. They then must locate the correlating office and pick up a permit, that they then must deliver to one of five specified addresses. _

_ “In Peppermint, teams must travel by bicycle to a local chocolatier, where they must memorize ten different chocolates, and fill six different orders. Once they have correctly filled the six boxes, they must deliver them to the proper addresses. _

…

“Let’s do Peppermint, I’m hungry,” Finn said.

Burt and Kurt agreed, and after a moment of discussion, Blaine and Cooper also decided to take the sweeter detour. Tina and Mike still hadn’t decided by the time they had located the bicycles. Rachel and Jesse, Dave and Azimio and Quinn and Santana all chose Parliament. Kurt took great pleasure in seeing Azimio struggling with his bicycle, but didn’t stop to admire the show.

…

“That’s the Parliament building ahead!” Santana heard Jesse call out to Rachel, who was just ahead of them.

“I see the flag,” Quinn said from beside her, in a much quieter tone that didn’t travel. “We just have to figure out what floor it is on, and which side of the building.

Santana had spotted the flag by now as well. “Looks like the third floor. I count six windows from the right.”

“That’s what I got, too,” The blonde said. Reaching the third floor was easy, but figuring out which office was a little more complicated, as there seemed to be a maze of hallways. Once they got their bearings, though, they found the correct door.  


An official smiled at them, and stamped a piece of paper before handing it to them. “It is very important that you deliver these permits to the proper address!”

After thanking the man, they checked the address on the city map posted in the lobby. It wasn’t very far from the train station. They hustled back to their bikes and pedaled as fast as they could. They passed Dave and Azimio, who still hadn’t made it halfway to the Parliament building. The location where they were to deliver to turned out to be a restaurant.

Quinn and Santana left the bikes to the side of the building, rushing into the front doors of the restaurant. Clearly, it wasn’t open for business, but the doors had been opened for the racers, and with their flag striped pack that Quinn was wearing around her hips, it was easy to tell they were racers.

They started for the Maitre D, Santana holding the permit in her hands. But when the woman lifted her head, both girls froze and glanced at each other.

“That’s not a Maitre D,” Quinn said quietly. Santana shook her head and crossed her arms.

“Who does Coach Sue think she is?” the Latina stated. They exchanged glances again. “Oh well, better get this over with. We still have lots of leg left.”

The two of them approached the woman at the host stand and she smirked at them. “Well, if it isn’t Q and Sandbags. Care for a table ladies?”

“What are you doing here Coach Sue?” Quinn asked.

“Well Q, my Uncle’s stepsister’s biological brother was born here in Switzerland. So, you’ll find that I have a license to work anywhere.” She smirked again.

Once more, Quinn and Santana exchanged glances. “In a restaurant?” Santana questioned in disbelief.

“I think you’ll find I have many skills, Sandbags. Now I believe you have something for me?”

“Just give it to her,” Quinn said. “The sooner we hand it over, the sooner we can move on from her ridiculous antics.”

Sue narrowed her eyes at Quinn. “It hurts to hear you say that Q. And to think you two always were some of my favorites, with the most potential.”

Santana just glared at the woman and handed over the permit without a word. She handed them their clue, almost reluctantly.

“Catch you on the flip side, Coach Ridiculous,” Santana said as she and Quinn took the clue and ran out of the restaurant.

“You two wound me,” Sue stated quietly.

They opened the envelope. “Take a train to Lucerne and travel by taxi to Emmentaler dairy and search for your next clue!”

…

“Finn! We’d be finished by now if you’d stop eating the candies!” Kurt heard Carole say. Blaine and Cooper had left more than two minutes ago. His dad had just finished filling the fifth box, and Kurt was just about done with the sixth. He found the dark chocolate peppermint bonbon and placed it in the box.  


“Done!” He said, showing the judge. He checked their boxes and gave them the thumbs up. He and his dad secured the boxes to the racks on their bikes, three apiece.  


Each box had a label with the specified order and the delivery location. The three Kurt had were all in the same building, just different offices to deliver to. The three Burt had were in two different buildings nearby. Once they had all six receipts, they pedalled back to the chocolate shop to get their next clue.

…

The train to Lucerne departed every thirty minutes, and Quinn and Santana had just missed one by five minutes. This was good news for Blaine and Cooper, who arrived back at the train station ten minutes after the two women. Unfortunately, Rachel and Jesse were on the brothers’ heels.  


Blaine kept watch for the pale man, knowing that Kurt and Burt weren’t too far behind them, and hoped they would be on the same train again. It felt like the longest fifteen minutes of his life, but the two men arrived just as the train was pulling into the station. They got their tickets and just made it onto the train before the doors closed.

“Hi,” Blaine said, smiling at the auburn haired beauty.

“Hi yourself,” Kurt replied, hugging him. “I’m really happy to see you!”

“I’m happy to see you, too.” Blaine glanced at the two cameramen recording them, and winked before dragging Kurt down the aisle to the vestibule between the cars. It was semi private, with only the small windows in the doors if anyone cared to look. He pushed Kurt up against the metal beside the door and kissed him hard and fast. “I’ve wanted to do that all day!”

Kurt smirked. “Is that all?” He asked, nipping the shorter man’s jaw.

“No, but I can’t do what I really want to do right now, so this will have to be enough until we’re someplace with a door and a lock!” He kissed the pale man again, gently biting his bottom lip. Kurt moaned as Blaine began kissing along his jaw, and behind his ear. He sucked hard on the particular spot, causing the taller man’s hips to thrust forward involuntarily.

“Careful, that’s gonna leave a mark!” Kurt gasped out.

“Good,” Blaine breathed into his ear. “Then everyone will know you’re mine!”

The sound Kurt made was somewhere between a hum of agreement and a needful whine, and Blaine kissed him again. The sound of someone smacking the window beside them had them pulling apart before the door slid open.  


“Sorry to burst your bubble, boys,” Santana said, “but your camera crews wish to remind you that you signed a contract that with the exception of pissing and showering, you agreed to be filmed twenty four seven until you are eliminated or cross the finish line.”

With a sigh, Kurt straightened from the wall. “We should go sit down.”

...

They pulled into Lucerne about an hour and a half later, and the four teams raced for the waiting taxis. Burt and Kurt reached the first Taxi in line, showing the driver the clue.

“Do you know where this is?” Kurt asked. The driver looked it over, and nodded, indicating for them to get in. They quickly deposited the bags in the trunk and got in. Their driver began to navigate out of the city proper, and Kurt was happy knowing Blaine and Cooper were right behind them, and they had a lead on the other teams.

He was relaxing back into the seat when a loud  _ POP _ shook the car, and the driver cursed and steered off the road. Kurt exchanged a look with his dad. They both knew what that sound was, and when the car came to a complete stop, they both scrambled out of the vehicle.  


The taxi carrying Blaine and Cooper pulled up beside them as Burt asked the driver if there was a spare and where the jack was. “Do you need help?” The curly haired man asked.

Kurt shook his head. “Just go! You still have a Speed Bump challenge somewhere ahead. Dad and I can handle this!”

The driver popped the trunk and started to help the two men, but Kurt just smiled and pulled the spare out as his dad assembled the jack. They had the flat replaced in no time, but Quinn and Santana and Rachel and Jesse passed them, effectively dissolving their lead. Still, there were three other teams behind them. They weren’t out of it yet.

…

Blaine glanced back out the rear window as their cab left the other team behind. It looked like they had the situation well in hand, and they still had several teams behind them. He wasn’t too worried about Kurt getting eliminated. And Kurt was right, they still had a Speed Bump to perform. They needed to keep this small lead if they were going to have enough time to complete the extra task and still finish whatever else they needed to do on this leg.

The taxi pulled up to the dairy about ten minutes later, and he spotted the Speed Bump sign right away. He asked the driver to wait for them, and joined his brother at the sign.

…

_ “In this Speed Bump, Blaine and Cooper must milk a cow until they have filled the bucket to the marked line.” _

…

“Milk a cow?” Cooper said. “That’s it?”

“Come on, let’s get it done!” Blaine said, following the marked path to the milking barn. A pretty young woman dressed as a dairymaid smiled as they approached, and led them to where four cows were waiting, and demonstrated the proper technique, smiling flirtatiously at Blaine the entire time. He just smiled back. “Sorry, I don’t play for your team.”

He sat down on the stool and began milking the cow, and soon enough they had the required amount of milk, and were allowed to move on to the next task.  


“How did you milk that cow so fast?” Cooper asked.

Blaine looked him straight in the eye, and with a completely straight face replied, “I’m gay.” He walked away as his brother tried to understand what that had to do with milking a cow.

They found the clue box, noticing that Quinn and Santana and Rachel and Jesse had already arrived and gotten their clues.

“Retrieve four wheels of cheese from the aging shed and deliver them to the sales floor.”

“That sounds too easy,” Cooper said, still a little distracted by Blaine’s earlier statement. They found the path leading to the challenge, and Blaine couldn’t help but think his brother was wrong about the challenge when he saw the steep climb they had to make to reach the shed. The incline was so steep, they had guide ropes to help pull themselves up.

As they reached the top of the slope, they saw Santana trying to carry two heavy looking wheels of cheese with some kind of wooden cheese sled on her back. The thing looked flimsy as hell, and they were expected to make it down the steep hill while carrying them.

Blaine read his clue again, just to make sure he understood the rules, as Jesse managed to take a dozen steps down the slope before falling on his butt. Both Rachel and Quinn were struggling just to lift the wheels. Santana had managed to get about halfway, but one of her cheese wheels shifted, knocking her off balance, and the wheel rolled away.

“The rules just say we have to deliver four wheels,” he said quietly. “It doesn’t say we have to carry more than one at a time. If one rolls away, we have to retrieve it and start from the point it hit the ground. It also says we should attempt to use the wooden device, but it’s not required to finish the task.”

“So what are you thinking? Doing one wheel at a time, and taking two trips?” Cooper asked.

Blaine shrugged. “It might be faster to make two trips than to chase down several wheels of cheese and carry them back up the hill just to carry them back down again.”

His brother nodded. “Good thinking, Squirt.” This time when he used the nickname, there was something different about it. There was a tinge of admiration to it, and Blaine felt his face flush with pride.

The wheels were even heavier than they looked, but each of the brothers managed to lift one. They started a slow and steady pace down the hill. They were a quarter of the way down when Santana reached the bottom of the hill with her two wheels. Quinn still hadn’t started down the hill yet, although Rachel had managed a few steps. When the Latina noticed each of the brothers only carrying one wheel, she got a look of determination her face, and after dropping her wheels off, jogged over to the guide ropes and pulled herself to the top again. Burt and Kurt arrived at the same time.

Santana loaded one of Quinn’s wheels on her carrier, and they both managed to start down the hill, passing Rachel. Blaine and Cooper reached the bottom and dropped off their cheeses, and rushed back to the top. Blaine took a moment to whisper to Kurt. “Just do one wheel at a time and make two trips. It’s so much easier!”

The pale man nodded, and helped his dad lift the carrier onto his shoulders. As the brothers started their second trip down, Santana and Quinn reached the bottom and received their clue. Jesse was chasing his second wheel, as Rachel was screaming that it was too heavy and this wasn’t fair of the producers to make them do such physically demanding tasks.

The four men finished at the same time, and Blaine and his brother received their clue. Before Kurt and Burt could head back up for their last two wheels of cheese, Blaine leaned over and kissed the pale man on the cheek.

“Good Luck!”

Kurt smiled at him, and winked before turning away to start the climb again as Blaine and Cooper opened their clue.

“Make your way on bicycles along the marked path to the marked field and search for your next clue!”

…

Santana was starting to wish she hadn’t quit that spinning class at the gym, as she peddled over the bumpy dirt road. Her legs were starting to burn.

“There’s the clue box!” Quinn said, pointing to the right side of the road. They stopped, and the darker girl took a long drink from her water bottle before they opened the envelope.

“Roadblock! Who doesn’t have hay fever?”

…

_ “In this Roadblock, one team member must unravel hay bales to locate a clue hidden inside. The catch? There are only seven clues hidden among ninety nine rolled bales.” _

…

“I’ll do it,” the raven haired beauty said.

“Are you sure?” Quinn asked.  


“Yeah, I’ve only done one roadblock so far. I should do it.”

The blonde woman nodded. “Okay.”

Santana made her way into the field, to the closest rolled bale of hay, and began tugging at the mesh that was used to hold it’s shape, swearing when it broke one of her fingernails.

“Are you okay?” Quinn asked.

“I’m fine, but someone is going to owe me a manicure after this!” She leaned into the roll, wishing she had worn a long sleeved shirt, and began unraveling it, watching as it came undone for the clue envelope. There was no sign of a clue when she reached the center. Swearing again in Spanish, she moved to the next bale. She had just finished unraveling it, still without finding a clue, when Blaine and Cooper arrived.

The curly haired midget took the bale next to her and began tearing at the mesh as she began unraveling her third hay bale. The damn things weighed a ton, and her shoulder was bleeding from several deep scratches, but she barely felt the sting because her arms were getting numb.

She growled in frustration when Burt and Kurt arrived as she began removing the mesh from her fifth bale.

“Do you want some water?” Quinn asked. She almost refused, but changed her mind and accepted the bottle. She was beginning to feel a little shaky.

“Got it!” Blaine called out as Burt began to unravel his first bale.

“Where was it?” Quinn asked, wondering if there was a trick to finding it.

“It was on the inside of the last curl, you can’t miss it, Santana! You’re doing an awesome job! Don’t give up.” He gave her an encouraging smile before jogging over to Cooper to open the clue.

“Ride your Bikes to the Pit Stop! Follow the marked path!”

…

_ “Lucerne Switzerland is home to lush pastures and rich farmlands, and here at Emmentaler dairy, they have turned the business of cheesemaking into a tourist adventure where traditional practices and modern technology collide. This is the sixth Pit Stop in a race around the world. The last team to check in here, may be eliminated. _

…

“Phil? There is a team approaching,” Marley said, smiling shyly at the intimidating woman standing next to him. “Madame Tibideaux, if you wouldn’t mind taking your position.”

Phil smiled at his assistant, and offered the dark skinned woman his arm to escort her to the mat. She wore a beautiful red velvet gown in the style of the women of the region during the renaissance era.

As Blaine and Cooper reached the mat, she smiled and curtseyed to them. “Welcome to Lucerne, Switzerland. Your breathing technique is all wrong, and you must work on projecting your voice!” she said to Cooper, before turning a brighter smile on Blaine. “You, on the other hand, have excellent breath control.”

Phil wasn’t certain what that meant, but just smiled at the brothers. “Blaine and Cooper, you are team number one!”

“Alright!” Blaine said, high fiving his brother, and hugging the host.

“Now, as winners of this leg of the race, I have good news for you. You have won a trip for two on Holland American Cruise lines, that you can enjoy after the race. How does it feel to go from coming in last two legs in a row to being first?”

“It’s incredible, Phil,” Blaine said. “I think it’s fate’s way of saying we’ll be here until the end.”

“Congratulations on the amazing comeback!” Phil said, shaking their hands before they were led away.

…

“Estúpido reto maldito!” Santana muttered as she began to unravel her tenth hay bale. Rachel and Jesse had caught up with them by now. “Voy a estrangular a quien haya pensado en esta maldita tarea!”

“Found it!” Burt said, breathing hard from the exercise.

“Mierda!” the woman swore.  


“Hang in there, young lady! Don’t let the pressure get to you!”

Finn and Carole arrived as the Hummels rode away. As they retrieved their clue from the clue box, Jesse waved a yellow envelope in triumph.

…

“Burt and Kurt, you are team number two!”

“Rachel and Jesse, you are team number three!”

…

“Santa María, Madre de Dios! Where is the damn clue?” Her hands were all scratched up, and she was on the verge of tears she refused to shed. She was shaking so badly as she began to unravel her twentieth bale. The last two teams, Dave and Azimio and Tina and Mike had already arrived. She didn’t think she could go on.

“Mom! Let’s go!” Finn yelled, waving the clue in the air.

“I got it!” Azimio crowed. He’d only unraveled one bale. Santana wanted to murder him for the clue at that moment.

…

“Finn and Carole, you are team number four!”

“Dave and Azimio, you are team number five!”

…

“I don’t know what to do!” the Latina said as Mike and Tina left with their clue, hating the fact that the tears refused to be held back any longer. She hurt everywhere. She’d unraveled more than thirty bales of hay. She felt like she was going to be sick, and it was starting to get dark out.

…

“Tina and Mike, you are team number six!”

…

Quinn was holding her sobbing partner, who had finally broken down and collapsed.  


“I’m sorry, Mija,” Santana sobbed. “I wanted to win this for you and Beth, but I can’t do this anymore!”

“I know, it’s okay. I’m not mad at you! You did everything you could do! You unraveled way more hay bales than anyone else! I’m so proud of you right now!”

“Quinn, Santana?” a voice came out of the darkness. They turned to find Phil walking towards them. “The last team checked in more than an hour ago. This is an elimination leg, and I am so sorry to tell you, you have both been eliminated. Santana, I don’t think I have ever seen anyone push through the way you did on this challenge. You should be proud of yourself!”

She wiped away a tear. “I am. It was just so hard, and I didn’t want to let Quinn down.”

The blonde just sobbed and pulled her into a hug. “You’re my best friend! You’ve never let me down! I could never have done what you did today!”

Phil watched as the blonde woman supported her partner, as the Latina was too weak to make it to the waiting medic unit. He really admired the woman’s perseverance, and decided that he would find some way to bring the woman back on another season. She deserved another chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The hay bales challenge was used more than once on the race. What happened in our story, happened to one team the first time it was used on the race.


	8. From Russia, With (Totally Gay) Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is the next chapter! I hope you guys are all having a good day today! And I hope you enjoy this chapter. There is a twist here, that is sometimes actually used in The Amazing Race. Most of the twists pertaining to the race itself are taken from the actual show!
> 
> Comments and kudos make us smile!

Due to a rainstorm, all six teams remained in the rest tent, which now that there were only twelve racers left, was large enough to also hold the food and drinks provided for the racers. What the tent did not provide was privacy, except the screened corner for changing clothes. They had been invited into one of the outbuildings to shower and use the restrooms, but there really wasn’t anywhere that two young men could be alone.

They settled for sitting together in one corner, holding hands and leaning on each other with a blanket wrapped around them for warmth. It had gotten very cold as the night had set in, and the rain had seeped under the tent walls in a couple of spots, and they each had three layers of clothes on under the emergency blanket.

The two men weren’t the only pair cuddled together. Burt and Carole were snuggled together near one of the space heaters that had been brought in, while Tina and Mike were cuddling up inside their joined sleeping bags. Possibly the oddest couple were Cooper and Jesse, who, while not cuddling, were sitting close together, talking about acting, while Finn and Rachel seemed to be sitting very close together at the food table. Azimio had gone to bed already, buried inside his sleeping bag and two blankets.

Dave was the only one sitting alone, and Kurt was keenly aware that the man was staring at him and Blaine. The look on the other man’s face wasn’t hostile or disgusted, as it usually was. Instead there seemed to be something more introspective in his eyes, and a hint of...jealousy?

He stiffened when the large man stood and began walking towards them. “Can we talk? All three of us? I’m not going to hurt you, I swear.”

Kurt didn’t relax, and Blaine put a soothing hand on his back. Kurt indicated for him to sit on the cot across from them, and the jock settled onto it. For a moment, none of them said a word, and then Dave took a deep breath and exhaled.

“I’m sorry, Kurt. For the way I treated you in high school, for threatening to kill you after I...kissed you.” He sighed and looked down at his feet. “When people look at me, they think I’m this big strong leader, and expect me to act in certain ways. They never stop to think that maybe I’m not strong, that maybe I don’t want to be a leader. They think I’m happy with who I am, but the thing is, back in high school, I was terrified of who I was.

“And then you came along with your prissy attitude, and flamboyant clothes, completely sure of who you were, and not afraid of it. And that made me angry. Made me want to hurt you for not being afraid. But the worst part was, I was never angry at you, I was angry at me, but I couldn’t hurt myself, so I projected my anger on you.

“But during junior year, I began to realize that I was also attracted to you physically. And that terrified me even more. And because I was supposed to be this big, strong leader who was never afraid, I started bullying you even more, to try and hide the way I was feeling. But you...you never bent, and you never broke. You were the strong one, the one everyone assumed I was, but it was always you. That day you chased me down in the locker room, you called me a scared little boy, and you were right. That’s all I’ve ever been, and I’m sorry.”

Kurt glanced at Blaine before replying. “I was scared, too, Dave. I was scared I’d lose my dad’s love. I was scared people would hate me. I was scared that I would never find someone who could love me the way I am, with all my perfect imperfections. But mostly I was scared that someone would hate me so much they would not only hurt me, but kill me for being the way I am. Gay men have died because of ignorance and hatred.

“You terrified me, Dave. I lived in fear everyday that you would move from taunting and tormenting to outright torturing me, and eventually kill me. Your words haunted me for years.”

“You never showed it,” Dave said. “You never told anyone what I did to you, either.”

“That’s because I don’t believe in forcing anyone out of the closet. I don’t believe in hiding who you really are, but I’m not going to out someone when they aren’t ready.”

“Will you accept my apology? Can you forgive me?”

Kurt was silent for a few minutes as he thought about his reply. “I’ll accept the fact that you made the apology, but I’m not sure I can forgive you just yet. That will take time, and effort on your part to prove that the apology is sincere. For now, we can call a truce.”

“I can live with that,” the jock nodded and stood up. “I really am sorry, Kurt.”

“I want to believe you, Dave, but as they say, actions speak louder than words.” He watched the other man walk away, as Blaine wrapped an arm around his waist.

“You’re amazing, has anyone ever told you that?” the darker man asked, kissing his temple.

“Not very often,” Kurt replied, hugging the shorter man. “Just you and my dad, really.”

“Well, you are, and anyone who doesn’t think so can go jump in a lake!”

Kurt laughed at that, and kissed him. “You should start getting ready for bed. You have an early start tomorrow.”

As the darker man walked away, his dad came and sat on the cot across from him. “You okay, kiddo? I noticed that neanderthal talking to you, but you didn’t look like you were in danger, so I didn’t rush over to strangle him like I had an urge to do.”

Kurt smiled. “I’m fine, Dad. Karofsky came over to apologize and ask for my forgiveness.”

“And?” The older Hummel sounded skeptical.

“And, I told him actions speak louder than words, and while I acknowledged his apology, forgiveness will take time.”

Burt smiled and patted his shoulder, then slipped into his sleeping bag.

Kurt wasn’t ready to go to bed yet, his mind was filled with too many thoughts, chief among them, Blaine. The ‘L’ word was on the tip of his tongue, but was it too soon to say it?

…

_ “Emmentaler dairy, a show dairy and resort in the heart of the Lucerne region of Switzerland, was the sixth Pit Stop in a race around the world. Six teams remain. Who will be eliminated next?” _

_ “Blaine and Cooper, who were the first to arrive at 4:13pm, will depart at 4:13am.” _

…

The PA gave them the signal, and Cooper opened the envelope, while Blaine tried to stifle a yawn. He’d laid awake for hours thinking about Kurt. He had almost blurted out those three words last night, but he’d bitten them back. It was too soon. Wasn’t it?

“Fly to Sochi, Russia!” Cooper read, shivering a little and pulling his warm coat around him tighter. The rain had passed, but the cold had persisted, and everything was muddy and damp. They rode their bikes carefully back to the main road, where the taxi they called was waiting for them.

Once at the airport, they went to an open ticket counter. “Can you tell us the quickest flight to Sochi, Russia?” Blaine asked the woman.

“There are only two flights a day to Sochi.” She said without even looking at the computer. “The first leaves at 7:15 am, the other leaves at 2:30pm.”

“Are there any seats available on the first flight?”

She finally looked at her screen and started typing. “Yes, there are plenty of seats available.”

“Great, can we book tickets, please?” Blaine was smiling brightly, because he knew Kurt and his dad would make the same flight. Most, if not all of the six teams would probably be on the flight, and he was okay with that. They would all be on equal footing.

Less than half an hour later, Kurt and Burt were purchasing tickets from the same woman, and the other teams weren’t too far behind.

…

_ All teams are now flying to Sochi, Russia on the same flight. Once there, they will travel by Taxi to the Olympic Biathlon course, where they will receive their next clue. _

…

The six hour flight was the best yet, in Kurt’s opinion. He got to sit beside Blaine the entire time, while his dad sat behind him with Carole and Finn. When the inflight meal was served, Kurt had fed Blaine some of the smoked salmon from his tray when the hazel eyed man had asked how it tasted. Blaine had then returned the favor, feeding Kurt a bit of the coq au vin he had ordered, and then, when no one was looking, had leaned in to kiss away a bit of sauce that hadn’t quite made it into Kurt’s mouth.

Unfortunately, the flight came to an end, and the race was back on. Burt and Kurt managed to reach the taxis first, but the other teams were close behind. Once at the Biathlon course, they asked the taxi driver to wait, and dashed for the clue box in the parking lot.

“Each team member must complete one lap around the Biathlon course on wheeled skis, and shoot a clay pigeon, within a competitive time to receive their next clue. If both teammates do not cross the finish line in a competitive time, or fail to shoot their pigeons in four shots (two per teammate), they must start over.”

They were shown to a changing room and given official uniforms to wear. Burt groused about the lycra jumpsuit that was so skin tight, there was very little left to the imagination. Kurt wasn’t pleased by the outfits either, until he noticed Blaine gapping at him from the corner.

As he was leaving the changing room, he overheard Azimio whispering to Dave. “Maybe we’ll get lucky and someone will miss the pigeon and hit the fairy!”

Kurt froze at the words, but Dave stood up straight and glared at his partner. “Not cool, dude! Don’t even joke about something like that!”

The large black jock looked at the other man in shock. “What’s gotten into you? You’ve never complained about it before.”

“Maybe it’s time we grow up and stop acting like high school bullies. Joking about someone getting shot isn’t funny at all!”

Kurt ran out of the locker room before the other two men could notice him. He was shaking with the adrenaline coursing through him. It propelled him through the course, setting a harsh pace that his dad had a hard time keeping up with. When they reached the shooting station, Kurt took a breath and focused everything on nailing the pigeon on the first try. His dad hit his target easily as well, and they pushed through to the finish line. They were twelve seconds faster than the maximum limit, and were handed their clue.

“Travel by Taxi to The KIT restaurant, and search for your next clue.” They changed clothes as fast as possible and ran back to their cab. “Do you know this place?” Kurt asked the driver.

The man frowned, but pulled out his cellphone and quickly looked it up. He nodded and indicated for them to get in. Ten minutes later they entered the restaurant. The clues were on a silver tray held out for them by what appeared to be a Maitre D. They took one and opened it quickly.

“Roadblock! Who has a taste for the finer things in life?”

…

_ “In this roadblock, one team member must eat a kilogram of one of Russia’s most popular contributions to upscale dining. Beluga caviar.” _

…

“I’ll do it,” Kurt said, opening the second half of the clue. “One Kilogram? Isn’t that like two pounds?”

“Two point two, I think,” Burt said, reading over his shoulder.

“Well, everyone is always telling me I need to eat more,” he tried to joke as they were led to a private room off the main dining area. A bowl piled with tiny black fish eggs was set in front of him, along with a basket of sliced sourdough bread and a pitcher of water. He didn’t start to eat right away, considering his options.

He thought about putting the caviar on the bread, but that would probably fill him up too fast. He decided he’d just eat it as is, and took a small bite. And almost gagged. It was so salty, he could barely swallow. He forced it down and immediately reached for a glass of water, taking a long gulp to wash the taste out of his mouth. “I don’t know if I can do this,” he said, looking at his dad.

Burt just shrugged. “We could take the four hour penalty. I’m not going to force you to eat something that is going to make you sick.”

Kurt considered it for a moment, but shook his head, and then took another bite and washed it down with water. He managed about ten bites with swallows of water in between. That definitely worked better than trying to swallow it by itself. Blaine and Cooper arrived then, the older brother taking a seat beside Kurt and taking a large bite, almost choking on it.

“Drink some water, it helps,” Kurt offered, managing a slightly larger bite now that he was used to the taste and had mastered the bite/sip technique. He noticed Blaine whispering something to his dad across the room, and wondered what that was about, but couldn’t focus on anything but eating at that moment. Finn and Carole had arrived, followed by Dave and Azimio. The darker man seemed angry about something.

Kurt had managed to eat nearly half of the bowl, but was starting to feel full, and had the sudden urge to pee from drinking so much water. “Am I allowed to use the restroom?” He asked his dad, who had the clue with the rules for the challenge. His dad looked it over.

“It doesn’t say you can’t. Let me ask the official, though.” He conferred with the challenge judge for a moment, and then turned back to Kurt. “You can leave, but you must return within five minutes or you receive a penalty.”

Kurt nodded and stood up and quickly made his way to the bathroom, sighing in relief as he emptied his bladder. Blaine slipped into the bathroom a moment later.

“Hey. I just thought you should know, Dave almost punched Azimio after you left the Biathlon course, and kind of, sort of accidentally outed himself!”

“What?!”

“The jock was being a jerk, calling you and me fairies and homos, and Dave told him to shut up, and Azimio shoved him, and Dave nearly took a swing at him. And then he said he was sick and tired of listening to the other man belittling people like him, and if he didn’t knock it off he was going to knock him out!”

…

_ “Kurt was right,” Dave said, looking at the camera. “Actions do speak louder than words. But sometimes words can be important, too. So here goes...I’m gay, and I’m tired of hiding it from the world. This is who I am, and nothing is going to change that. It’s time for me to stop pretending and maybe be happy for once. So, yeah, that’s it.” _

_ ... _

Kurt finished and pulled his zipper up, and went to the sink to wash his hands. “I have to get back out there, but that is great that he’s finally admitting who he is.”

Blaine smiled and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. “Good luck!”

Kurt returned to the task well within the time limit, and began eating with a new vigor. He finished less than half an hour later, as Tina and Mike and Rachel and Jesse both arrived. While it wasn’t surprising that Jesse chose to do this challenge, Kurt was surprised when Tina took a seat at the table, just as Finn finished his portion, followed seconds later by Cooper.

They got their clues and ripped them open in the vestibule. “Travel by Ferry to Batumi, Georgia!”

They found their taxis and headed to the ferry terminal. They managed to get on one of the last ferries of the days. There were only two more after theirs. Burt and Kurt and Blaine and Cooper managed to find seats close together, but Finn and Carole got lost in the crowd.

…

“Do you see them anywhere?” Carole asked her much taller son.

“Hello Frankenteen, Frankenteen’s mother,” came a sudden voice from behind them before Finn could really answer his mom.

“Huh?” Finn got out, turning to look at who had spoken. For a moment, he forgot he wasn’t really a teenager anymore but as kind as he was, Finn still wasn’t the brightest crayon in the box.

Sitting behind them was a woman wearing awkward bathing attire that looked like it was partial swimsuit, partial tracksuit. She had short blonde hair and was sitting on a bench, what looked suspiciously like a martini in her hand. Though she hadn’t taken a single sip of the drink and for a moment, Finn wondered where she’d even gotten it.

“Um…” Finn got out as he stared at the woman, not sure how to respond to her. Carole seemed equally at a loss for words as she gazed at the woman.

“I’m sorry, were you speaking to us?” Carole asked, glancing at her son who glanced back at her. The search for Burt and Kurt and Blaine and Cooper was momentarily forgotten as they became distracted by this woman.

“No, I was speaking to the two identical looking dancing clowns behind you,” the woman replied sarcastically as she ate the olive out of her martini glass, but still didn’t sip the drink. To his credit, Finn managed _ not _ to glance behind him, though that was normally his first reaction. “Looking for someone?” the woman went on.

“Just our friends,” Carole responded, not sure if it was safe to go into detail with this woman.

“Who are you and where did you get that martini?” her son asked.

“Finn!” Carole admonished and he just shrugged.

“What? It’s a valid question!”

The woman smirked. “My father’s brother’s sister-in-law’s nephew captains this ferry. He manages to sneak me drinks.”

Finn and Carole were speechless for a moment, neither of them sure if they bought this woman’s story. And neither of them sure exactly how to respond to that anyway.

“Um...that’s nice,” Finn said. It was only a moment later that his eyes spotted the men they were looking for. “But I see our friends now. We have to go. Come on, mom.” He tugged on Carole’s arm, desperate to hurry away from this strange woman.

“Whatever you say Frankenteen,” the woman said to herself, tossing the contents of the martini glass overboard. “You call this a dry martini?! It’s too wet!”

They sat down next to Burt and Kurt, who were talking with Blaine and Cooper about Dave.

“...and then once he’d realized what he had done,” Cooper was saying, “He kind of looked around at the rest of us, and shrugged, and said, and I quote, ‘from Russia, with totally gay love!’”

“He did not say that!” Blaine rolled his eyes. “What he said was, ‘yeah, I’m gay, deal with it!’”

Cooper made a face. “Mine sounded way cooler,” he grumbled.

The remainder of the five hour ferry ride was spent talking about the race so far, places they’d like to go again when not racing, speculating where they’d be going next, and places they’d like to go, race or not.

Once they reached Batumi, they found the clue box near the ferry terminal.

“Detour! Benches or Chairs!”

…

_ In this detour, teams must choose between two jobs commonly undertaken by municipal workers in Batumi. In Benches, teams must scrub fifteen benches clean. The task sounds easy enough, but the benches are spread out, and covered in grime and graffiti that must be thoroughly removed. _

_ “In Chairs, teams must pull a cart filled with beach chairs across the sand to a marked segment of beach, and neatly set up fifty chairs in a line. The task is physically demanding, but teams only have to travel a short distance.” _

…

“I think chairs might be faster,” Blaine said. “Who knows how far we’d have to travel for the benches, or how dirty they are.”

The others all agreed, and set out to find the chair carts.

…

“Just breathe, babe!” Mike said, rubbing his girlfriend’s back as she heaved over the side of the ferry. “You did so good at the Roadblock! You almost beat Jesse, probably would have if Rachel hadn’t been nagging him to go faster.” They had been the last team to leave the Roadblock, and had just missed the ferry that held the other two teams, Dave and Azimio and Rachel and Jesse. They were more than likely going to be eliminated today.

The Asian girl heaved again. The caviar hadn’t made her sick, she was used to eating salty, fishy foods. But the moment the ferry had left the dock, her stomach had rebelled.

“God, I hate being sick!” she moaned. “You’re such a sweet boyfriend to want to be near me right now. Harry would never hold my hair for me while I threw up over the side of a boat! I love you!”

Mike smiled and continued to rub her back. “I love you too, sweetheart!” He smiled down at the back of her head, thinking about the small box in the side pocket of his backpack.

If they got eliminated, Mike planned on going out in style.

…

“Done!” Burt and Cooper shouted, practically at the same time. Finn called out thirty seconds later. The judges examined the rows, and after a tense moment, all three teams had received their clues.

“Make your way on foot and find Phil at Neptune’s Statue!”

…

_ The statue of Neptune in front of Batumi Drama Theater in the city of Batumi, in the former Russian Republic of Georgia, was erected in 2010. The statue and its fountain is a copy of the Fountain of Neptune in the Piazza del Nettuno in the town of Bologna in Italy.” _

…

Kurt frowned as he read the clue. It said to find Phil, not go to the Pit Stop. He’d watched the show enough to know what that probably meant, but didn’t have time to think about as the six of them began running down the sidewalk towards the theater the statue was located in front of.

…

“Gentlemen? The racers are approaching. Are you ready?” Phil asked the group of young men.

The one who had introduced himself as Thad nodded. “Yes sir. Just give us the signal, and Beatz will bring us in.”

The dozen boys all wore grey slacks, blue jackets, and red ties with blue piping (as opposed to blue ties with red piping.) Phil had remembered the names of all but one of them, and in his mind had been referring to him as the Totally Gay Warbler.

They took their marks, with the Warblers lined up behind Phil, as three teams raced into view. The brothers just beat out the Hummels by a step, and the Hudsons were a step behind them.

“Blaine and Cooper, you are team number one! Burt and Kurt you are team number two, and Finn and Carole, you are team number three!”

They shared a group hug, congratulating each other, until the host continued to speak.

“However…” Phil waited until he had each of their attention. “This leg is not over. These gentlemen behind me have your next clue.”

“Oh my God!” Blaine cried, stunning Kurt by his word use, seeing as the curly haired man was always so meticulative with his word choices. “It’s the Warblers!”

Kurt turned to the darker man in surprise. “How do you know who the Warblers are? I know them because I competed against them in show choir in high school, but you’re from Michigan!”

Blaine seemed surprised by the question. “They’re all over the show choir blogs!”

The a Capella group began harmonizing, and then Thad, their front man, began to sing.

**_Jai Ho! Jai Ho!_  
_I got shivers_  
_ When you touch away_  
_ I'll make you hot_  
_ Get all you got_  
_ I'll make you wanna say_  
_ (Jai Ho!)_  
_ (Jai Ho!)_  
_ I got fever_  
_ Running like a fire_  
_ For you I will go all the way_  
_ I wanna take you higher_  
_ (Jai Ho!)_  
_ I'll keep it steady, cause steady is how I do it_  
_ (Jai Ho!)_  
_ This beat it heavy, so heavy you're gonna feel it_  
_ You are the reason that I breathe_  
_ (Jai Ho!)_  
_ You are the reason that I still believe_  
_ (Jai Ho!)_  
_ You are my destiny_  
_ Jai Ho, o-o-o-oh!_  
_ (Jai Ho!)_  
_ No, there is nothing that can stop us_  
_ (Jai Ho!)_  
_ Nothing can ever come between us_  
_ (Jai Ho!)_  
_ So come and dance with me_  
_ (Jai Ho!)_  
_ Catch me, catch me, catch me, come and catch me_  
_ I want you now_  
_ I know you can save me, come and save me_  
_ I need you now_  
_ I am yours forever, yes, forever_  
_ I will follow_  
_ Anywhere in anyway_  
_ Never gonna let go_  
** **_ (Jai Ho!)_**

As they continued to sing, the beatboxer handed them each a clue envelope.

“In 2004, this song was made famous in the movie _ Slumdog Millionaire _. Travel to the area where Jamal grew up!”

“We’re going to Mumbai!” Kurt said.

…

Dave sighed as he set up yet another chair, glancing over at his partner as he stood up. “Are you going to say anything?”

Azimio continued setting up chairs, back to the other man. “What do you want me to say, man? I thought we were friends. Friends tell each other stuff, but you’ve been lying to me for the past four years.”

Dave kept his hands on the arms of the next chair, gripping them a little tighter. He couldn’t muster the strength to glance back at Azimio in that moment. “True friends would also stay friends, no matter what they learned of each other. As much as you bully gays, would you have still been my friend if I had the guts to tell you?”

The darker man straightened up and turned to face him. “Do you remember the day we met in the locker room? I was the only black man there, and when one of those other assholes called me the N word, you stood up to them and told them that was a shitty word to use, and that anyone who called anyone something that disgusting shouldn’t be allowed on the team. Maybe I need to step back and look in a mirror.”

The other man sighed, finally standing from the chair he’d been placing. “I remember being so excited to go to college. I felt for the first time in a while, I could be myself without being myself, if that makes sense. There was a situation back in high school that ended up with Kurt and his dad talking to me and my dad. My dad said something that day that it took me a long time to realize was right. He said I wasn’t the same boy he had raised. That I had gone from that helpful boy scout to acting out in school and my grades were slipping. He was right, that guy wasn’t me. So when I went to college, I wanted to start over. But I was still so scared of who I was, I couldn’t be nicer to other guys like me even with trying to be me again.”

Both men were silent for several moments as they went back to work setting up the chairs, each thinking about what the other had said.

…

_ “Yeah, it shocked the hell out of me when my boy Dave said he was gay,” Azimio said, looking away from the camera. “I thought I knew him. We’re supposed to be best friends. I get that he was scared to tell me, and that was probably my fault. I’m so used to being discriminated against because of the color of my skin, that I forget that other people are discriminated against for other reasons. And I’m ashamed to say I was one of the ones doing the discriminating. All I can say is I’m gonna do my best to try and be a better person, and that starts with making things right with my boy.” _

…

“Answer me one question, Karofsky.”

“What’s that?”

“Do you think I’m Hot?”

Dave almost choked. “Uh, honestly? You’re so not my type.”

The big black man mock frowned. “What, you don’t go for Dark Chocolate?”

Dave couldn’t hold the laughter in, and soon they were both laughing and joking about what kind of guys Dave might like.

…

Tina was still looking a little green around the gills as they made their way to the Benches detour. They thought cleaning might be faster than lugging chairs around, but once they saw how much grime and graffiti covered the first bench, they began to second guess themselves.

“Let’s go see how hard the other detour looks,” Mike offered. “It could take us all day scrubbing just to clean one bench.”

Tina agreed, and they arrived just in time to see Dave and Azimio get their clue. Rachel and Jesse were still setting up chairs. Correction, Jesse was setting up chairs while Rachel whined that Her Dads would have hired someone to do it for them. “Come on, if we hustle, we might be able to beat Loudmouth over there!” Tina said, hurrying towards the last cart of chairs.

…

“Dave and Azimio, you are the fourth team to arrive, however, this leg is not over, and you are still racing. Here’s your next clue!”

** _Jai Ho! Jai Ho!_ **

…

Tina growled in frustration as Rachel and Jesse got their clue. They only had four chairs left, and they hurried to set them up. Maybe they could still catch up to the other team. Rachel wasn’t a very fast runner. They got their clue, and took off running.

…

“Rachel and Jesse, you are the fifth team to arrive, however…”

“Damn it what did she screw up this time?” Jesse interrupted.

“Me?” Rachel screeched.

Phil just gave him a look. “However, this leg is not over, and you are still racing. These gentlemen have your next clue.”

…

Tina felt like she might throw up again as they finally reached the mat. She knew they were last, and the chances of this being a non elimination leg were pretty slim. “We’re here, Phil. Give us the news. We can take it.”

“Tina and Mike, you are the last team to arrive.”

“We knew it,” Mike said. “We did our best. I’m so proud of how well we’ve done up till now.”

“Well, keep doing your best, because this leg is not over, and you are still racing! Here’s your next clue!”

Tina jumped up and down in excitement, despite still feeling nauseated. Mike hugged her tightly, thankful to still be in the race.

As the group of young men began to sing, Mike clutched the small box in his hand, hidden in his pocket.


	9. This Cow Hates Me!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies these 2 chapters are on the late side this time. Most of my free time is going to writing more to other stuff so we have more to give you. Lol. But I'm here with this one now!
> 
> I hope you are all enjoying the race so far! And now the continuation of the super leg!
> 
> Comments and kudos make us smile!

_ “Previously on the Amazing Race; eleven teams set out from Central Park, New York, NY, on a race around the world. Their first stop was Buenos Aires, Argentina, where some teams excelled: _

“I’m so proud of you, Honey!” Carole said, hugging him as Finn accepted the clue from the guide. Finn just shrugged.

“I was hungry.” They moved out of earshot of the other teams and opened the clue.

_ Some teams stumbled: _

Dave tried to give him a little instruction in the proper way to handle the stick, although he was usually on the other side of the goal, more accustomed to doing the blocking than the scoring. Plus, it felt strange not to have skates on for this. But once he had the ball figured out, he started feeling more confident, and even did a decent job at negotiating his way up the field. Until he tried to take his shot, and almost tripped himself.

Shaking it off, he tried again. At least he’d managed better than Azimio, who couldn’t seem to figure out how to get the ball to go where he wanted. And the girl team was having even more problems than they were.

“Yo, doofus, get your head in the game!”

_ And one team struggled to overcome their insecurities: _

“Are you sure these harnesses are safe?” She asked for the third time. Will tried to reassure her again, but the production assistant cleared her throat.

“I’m sorry, but if she won’t step off the platform in the next five minutes, the rules say we have to let the next team go ahead of you, and you’ll need to go to the back of the line..”

“Emma, listen to me. If you say you can’t do this, then we won’t, but before you give up, think of all you’ve already accomplished in the last twenty four hours! You’re a lot braver than you think you are, and you’ve come so far! Imagine what you can accomplish if you really put your mind to it?”

The sound of the all female team whooping in excitement interrupted him, and made Emma flinch, but he didn’t let go of her. “The world is waiting for you, Emma. All you have to do is embrace it.”

_ In the end, the stress was just too much for one racer: _

“Will and Emma, you are the last team to arrive, and I am sorry to tell you, you have both been eliminated from the race.”

_ Teams then traveled to Lisbon, Portugal, where one team targeted another: _

“We choose to U Turn Burt and Kurt,” the darker jock said, selecting the appropriate photographs and posting them.

_ And another team made a strategic move: _

“What do you think the odds are we won’t be eliminated today?” Sam asked as they sorted their fish.

His girlfriend shrugged. “Slim to none, I’d say. I don’t know why Rachel and Jesse decided to U Turn us. Quinn and Santana are a much stronger team, and were right behind them, but no, they had to U Turn us!”

_ And in the end, strategy won out: _

“Sam and Mercedes, you are the last team to arrive. I’m sorry to tell you, you have both been eliminated from the race.”

_ In Egypt, one racer made a special connection with another: _

The shorter man took another deep breath, and shook his head. “Sebastian was being a creeper again, and Cooper tried to stand up to him, but then we had a little fight, and I’m just so tired right now.”

Kurt pulled him back in for another hug, even as he guided them to sit on a bench. “It’s okay, sweetie. I’m here, you can just rest for a while. I’ll make sure no one bothers you.”

_ While another racer made others very uncomfortable: _

“Oh yes Blaine!” Sebastian moaned and the curly haired man swallowed hard, the urge to wretch threatening to come up. “Jerk me harder! I’m almost there!”

“Hey slimeball,” the Latina said, “Knock it off. No one wants to hear you jerking off your micro dick!” Kurt just stared at the fiery Latina for a moment, before she glanced over, and smirked at him as she walked past.

_ But in the end, Nick and Jeff were the ones who came up short: _

“Nick and Jeff, you are the last team to arrive. I’m sorry to tell you you have both been eliminated from the race.”

_ Things were looking bad for one team in Italy: _

_ “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. I’m sorry to tell you we’ll be making an unscheduled landing in Cairo due to technical difficulties. Please remain seated until the plane has come to a complete stop.” _

“What do you think the problem is?” Blaine asked as the plane prepared for landing. They hadn’t been in the air long, and things had seemed smooth, but you can never tell what the issue is sometimes.

“I don’t know,” Cooper replied, sounding concerned for the first time on the race. “Hopefully whatever it is is minor, and can be fixed quickly so we don’t fall behind.”

_ Meanwhile, one racer’s constant complaining was beginning to annoy even her own partner: _

“It says to Drive to Pompeii and go to the ruins!” Rachel said, exasperated, not really looking at the clue. “This whole situation sucks. We should have been first in every leg!” She was still so upset that they were the best, and yet, still hadn’t finished in first even once!

Jesse was at the point where he was about to snap at Rachel and that said something because being equally egotistical, he had a really high bar for Rachel Berry tolerance. But the difference between Jesse St. James and Rachel Berry was that Jesse knew where to draw the line. However, being the talented actor he credited himself with being, he didn’t show his partner that she was starting to get to him, just as much as to everyone else.

…

_ “I knew Rachel was high maintenance. She’s the top female student at NYADA, and she’s only in her second year! Being the top male student, I realize you have to present yourself as the best at all times. And sometimes that means making certain that others realize that they can never achieve the same level of excellence that you have attained. Rachel does deserve to be the best, but I must admit, her whining has even gotten to me, made me wonder if she really is the best. Winners never whine!” _

_ And in the end, the conflict cost them: _

“Rachel and Jesse, you are the third team to arrive.” He waited for the usual whine from the petite girl, before continuing. “However, you failed to read one of your clues properly. You were instructed to park at the train station in Pompeii, and to walk to the ruins. You drove directly to the ruins instead of walking. For this you have received a thirty minute penalty. Your time starts now. If you’ll have a seat on the bench over there, please.”

“Damnit Rachel!” Jesse spit out at the girl and she looked at him in surprise. “Third. We could have had third! And you had to go and read the stupid clue wrong!”

“Me?! This is my fault?!”

Jesse glared at her. “Every misfortune on this race so far has been your fault Rachel! And you’re the one who read off the clue!” Rachel stomped toward the bench in a huff as Phil frowned slightly at the couple. Jesse followed her in silence.

_ But in a shocking Amazing Race first, one team made heads turn: _

Hunter was lead to one of the large vats of grapes, and instructed to wash his feet and legs up to the knees. As he leaned forward to roll up his pant legs, Zizes noticed something slip from what appeared to be a hidden pocket in the man’s pants. Since the rules stated she wasn’t allowed to speak while the cameras were rolling, she didn’t say anything to him about it. She did, however, nudge Rutherford discreetly to get the cameraman’s attention. As surreptitiously as possible, she drew Matt’s attention to the object on the ground, which the gruff man hadn’t realized he’d dropped yet.

Another team arrived, and Zizes took the opportunity to pick up the item.

With the exception of Jonathan in season six, Phil had never been so thoroughly disgusted with a racer in the history of the show. “One of the crewmembers spotted the phone falling from your pocket. Another racer overheard you speaking on it to someone who had inside information on the tasks. After doing a more thorough background check, it has come to our attention that your cousin, Rick Nelson, is a member of the production crew. He has confessed to providing you with information that has given you an advantage over other teams on the race. What do you have to say for yourselves?”

Sebastian’s jaw dropped. “You cheated?”

Hunter turned on him. “What did you expect me to do? I got saddled with you as a partner because I couldn’t bribe or blackmail anyone else into doing this with me! With you as a partner I had to make up for your many shortcomings!”

“My shortcomings?” Sebastian straightened to his full height. “I seem to recall you being the one who couldn’t score at the field hockey challenge! Off a ten year old girl! I scored all three of our goals!”

“And then you got so distracted being a manwhore at the roadblock trying to get into tweedle dum’s pants!” Hunter spat back. “If I hadn’t demanded we do the schlep it challenge, we’d probably still be in Portugal as you made an ass out of yourself trying screw a guy who obviously wants nothing to do with you!”

“He’s just playing hard to get!” Sebastian snapped.

“Who, Blaine?” another voice called out. The three men had been so preoccupied they hadn’t noticed Tina and Mike arrive, or that Rachel and Jesse’s time penalty was up. “Blaine isn’t playing hard to get, he just doesn’t want to be gotten by you! Not that I blame him, who wants a creeper who probably sluts around because no one will sleep with him a second time after seeing what a tiny prick he has!”

Before a full out fight could erupt, Phil waved over the security team, as the next team arrived. “Let’s make things official! Sebastian and Hunter, you have been disqualified and will leave the race immediately! Rachel and Jesse, that makes you team number four, and Tina and Mike, you are team number five! Dave and Azimio, you are team number six!”

_ The shocking development gave another team hope: _

“We’re still in the race?” Blaine said, incredulously.

Phil smiled at them. “You are still in the race, and you are still in the hunt for the million dollars!”

Blaine hugged Phil, jumping up and down, almost knocking the host over, before turning to his brother and hugging him just as enthusiastically.. “We’re still in the game!”

_ Rachel and Jesse continued to be a source of annoyance for other teams in France: _

“My god, can I get some cheese with that whine?” Kurt said, grabbing their clue. “It’s too bad you weren’t around during the Black Death! Your voice would have scared away all the rats!” Kurt swore he saw Jesse trying to cover a smirk at his remark (which was a feat, since the man never showed any emotion.)

“How rude!” the Jewish Diva said, stomping her foot.

_ Meanwhile, another team’s misfortunes continued: _

“What was that?!” Blaine asked as he steered the car to the side of the road. A loud _ PING _ had come from the engine, and now the scent of burning oil filled the car. He popped the hood with trepidation, dread filling him as smoke billowed out.

“Somehow I don’t think even your boyfriend’s dad could fix that!” Cooper said as he and the cameraman got out. Lauren, their sound person on this leg, shook her head and took out her personal cell phone to text for a replacement car.

_ But the brothers’ luck hadn’t run out: _

The host didn’t speak at first, just eyed the two men for a moment. “Blaine and Cooper, you are the last team to arrive.”

Phil continued looking at them dramatically. “I’m….” He paused. “Pleased to inform you that this is a non elimination leg, and you are still in the race!”

The curly haired man was certain he had heard wrong, but then Cooper was hugging him and lifting him off the ground, swinging him around. “Luck of the Irish, Phil! Luck of the Irish!” Cooper shouted in a horrible Irish brogue.

_ One team seemed poised to lead the charge in Switzerland: _

“I see the flag,” Quinn said from beside her, in a much quieter tone that didn’t travel. “We just have to figure out what floor it is on, and which side of the building.

Santana had spotted the flag by now as well. “Looks like the third floor. I count six windows from the right.”

“That’s what I got, too,” The blonde said. Reaching the third floor was easy, but figuring out which office was a little more complicated, as there seemed to be a maze of hallways. Once they got their bearings, though, they found the correct door.

_ After taking the lead in the detour, the two women’s momentum built at the next task: _

Santana and Quinn reached the bottom and received their clue. Jesse was chasing his second wheel, as Rachel was screaming that it was too heavy and this wasn’t fair of the producers to make them do such physically demanding tasks

_ But the women’s momentum hit a wall at the Roadblock: _

“Roadblock! Who doesn’t have hay fever?”

“I’ll do it,” the raven haired beauty said.

“Are you sure?” Quinn asked.

“Yeah, I’ve only done one roadblock so far. I should do it.”

The blonde woman nodded. “Okay.”

Santana made her way into the field, to the closest rolled bale of hay, and began tugging at the mesh that was used to hold it’s shape, swearing when it broke one of her fingernails.

“Are you okay?” Quinn asked.

“I’m fine, but someone is going to owe me a manicure after this!”

“Estúpido reto maldito!” Santana muttered as she began to unravel her tenth hay bale. Rachel and Jesse had caught up with them by now. “Voy a estrangular a quien haya pensado en esta maldita tarea!”

“Found it!” Burt said, breathing hard from the exercise.

“Mierda!” the woman swore.

_ In the end, it was too much of an obstacle to overcome: _

“Quinn, Santana?” a voice came out of the darkness. They turned to find Phil walking towards them. “The last team checked in more than an hour ago. This is an elimination leg, and I am so sorry to tell you, you have both been eliminated. Santana, I don’t think I have ever seen anyone push through the way you did on this challenge. You should be proud of yourself!”

She wiped away a tear. “I am. It was just so hard, and I didn’t want to let Quinn down.”

The blonde just sobbed and pulled her into a hug. “You’re my best friend! You’ve never let me down! I could never have done what you did today!”

_ In Russia one racer made an emotional admission that caused tension between him and his partner: _

“Kurt was right,” Dave said, looking at the camera. “Actions do speak louder than words. But sometimes words can be important, too. So here goes...I’m gay, and I’m tired of hiding it from the world. This is who I am, and nothing is going to change that. It’s time for me to stop pretending and maybe be happy for once. So, yeah, that’s it.”

Dave sighed as he set up yet another chair, glancing over at his partner as he stood up. “Are you going to say anything?”

Azimio continued setting up chairs, back to the other man. “What do you want me to say, man? I thought we were friends. Friends tell each other stuff, but you’ve been lying to me for the past four years.”

Dave kept his hands on the arms of the next chair, gripping them a little tighter. He couldn’t muster the strength to glance back at Azimio in that moment. “True friends would also stay friends, no matter what they learned of each other. As much as you bully gays, would you have still been my friend if I had the guts to tell you?”

_ In the end, the two worked things out: _

“Answer me one question, Karofsky.”

“What’s that?"

“Do you think I’m Hot?”

Dave almost choked. “Uh, honestly? You’re so not my type.”

The big black man mock frowned. “What, you don’t go for Dark Chocolate?”

Dave couldn’t hold the laughter in, and soon they were both laughing and joking about what kind of guys Dave might like.

_ Three teams bonded during the Ferry ride to Batumi, Georgia: _

“...and then once he’d realized what he had done,” Cooper was saying, “He kind of looked around at the rest of us, and shrugged, and said, and I quote, ‘from Russia, with totally gay love!’”

“He did not say that!” Blaine rolled his eyes. “What he said was, ‘yeah, I’m gay, deal with it!’”

Cooper made a face. “Mine sounded way cooler,” he grumbled.

The remainder of the five hour ferry ride was spent talking about the race so far, places they’d like to go again when not racing, speculating where they’d be going next, and places they’d like to go, race or not.

Once they reached Batumi, they found the clue box near the ferry terminal.

_ A three way foot race to the mat ended in a musical surprise: _

“Blaine and Cooper, you are team number one! Burt and Kurt you are team number two, and Finn and Carole, you are team number three!”

They shared a group hug, congratulating each other, until the host continued to speak.

“However…” Phil waited until he had each of their attention. “This leg is not over. These gentlemen behind me have your next clue.”

The a Capella group began harmonizing, and then Thad, their front man, began to sing.

**_Jai Ho! Jai Ho!_  
_I got shivers_  
_ When you touch away_  
_ I'll make you hot_  
_ Get all you got_  
_ I'll make you wanna say_  
_ (Jai Ho!)_  
_ (Jai Ho!)_  
_ I got fever_  
_ Running like a fire_  
_ For you I will go all the way_  
_ I wanna take you higher_  
** **_ (Jai Ho!)_**

**_I'll keep it steady, cause steady is how I do it_  
_(Jai Ho!)_  
_ This beat it heavy, so heavy you're gonna feel it_  
_ You are the reason that I breathe_  
_ (Jai Ho!)_  
_ You are the reason that I still believe_  
_ (Jai Ho!)_  
_ You are my destiny_  
_ Jai Ho, o-o-o-oh!_  
_ (Jai Ho!)_  
_ No, there is nothing that can stop us_  
_ (Jai Ho!)_  
_ Nothing can ever come between us_  
_ (Jai Ho!)_  
_ So come and dance with me_  
_ (Jai Ho!)_  
_ Catch me, catch me, catch me, come and catch me_  
_ I want you now_  
_ I know you can save me, come and save me_  
_ I need you now_  
_ I am yours forever, yes, forever_  
_ I will follow_  
_ Anywhere in anyway_  
_ Never gonna let go_  
** **_ (Jai Ho!)_**

As they continued to sing, the beatboxer handed them each a clue envelope.

“In 2004, this song was made famous in the movie _ Slumdog Millionaire _. Travel to the area where Jamal grew up!”

“We’re going to Mumbai!” Kurt said.

_ Six teams remain. Who will be eliminated next? And who will win The Amazing Race? Stay tuned to find out! _

…

“We need tickets to Mumbai on the earliest possible flight, please,” Kurt said to the gentleman at the ticket counter.

“I’m sorry, the last flight tonight is completely booked. I can get you on the first flight out in the morning, at 8:05.”

“Are there enough seats for all of us?” Carole asked from behind them.

The man checked his computer again. “Yes, Ma’am, there are many seats still available. Shall I book them for you?”

“Yes, please,” Kurt said, handing over their paperwork and credit card.

“Guess we’re sleeping in the airport,” Cooper said, yawning. It had already been a very long day. They had been up since shortly after three in the morning, and it was now a little after midnight. If they had known this was going to be a super leg, they might have taken naps on the ferry.

Once they all had their tickets, and had gone through the security checkpoint, they found a small alcove where they could set up their sleeping bags, and Burt unrolled his sleeping mat, then helped Carole with hers. Finn was already asleep, and Cooper was snoring softly.

Kurt was tired, but wasn’t ready for bed yet. Blaine wasn’t either, despite the fact that he’d been up longer. “I’m just gonna go for a short walk, Dad. I’m too wound up to sleep just yet.”

Burt only mumbled a response, already half asleep. Kurt started walking down the concourse, and wasn’t surprised when Blaine joined him.

Blaine easily slipped his hand into Kurt’s as the two of them walked, moving further away from the alcove area where the racers weren’t the only ones settling in for the night. And it wasn’t long before they stopped running into any other people.

Still, they walked on, until Blaine spotted an entryway. He held a hand up for Kurt to wait before releasing his hand and slipping into the entryway, trying the handle on the door nestled inside. He found it unlocked and when he peeked in, he noticed it was a lounge. It was completely empty, and most of the lights were off, but there was still refreshments set out that told him it must have been a twenty-four hour lounge. The little sign inviting passengers to help themselves was enough to confirm that it was open twenty-four hours. He looked back toward Kurt and waved him over.

Clasping hands again, the two young men slipped inside the lounge and Kurt very quietly, like a ninja, shut the door behind them.

Blaine pulled the other man forward, leading him to a couple of comfortable lounge chairs on the far side of the room. The further away from the door they were, the less noise could travel to anyone who may be walking by.

The curly haired man gently pushed Kurt into one of the chairs and leaned forward to capture his lips in a kiss. Kurt gripped at Blaine’s shirt with both hands suddenly, all too eager to accept the kiss. He was hungry, so hungry for this beautiful man and moments alone with him.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a long while,” Blaine said after a moment.

“Less talking, more kissing,” Kurt said.

“Mm,” Blaine replied, gently placing a finger to Kurt’s lips. “This moment is all about you, babe,” he added. Kurt just looked at him in awe for a moment.

“What about you?” he asked gently.

Blaine smiled at him. “As long as I know you’re satisfied, I will be too.” He winked and covered Kurt’s mouth with his own again, before the other could say anything else.

Keeping Kurt occupied with the heated, passionate kiss, Blaine’s hand roamed down to his pants, where he worked on undoing the belt and the button and the zipper. They probably didn’t have time for a full stripshow now, but this would do. Kurt had taken care of Blaine the first time they made love and now it was Blaine’s turn to give him a little taste of how well he could take care of Kurt.

A moan left the pale man’s lips and he plunged his tongue into the other man’s mouth. Blaine could feel his own arousal growing at the sound. The hottest thing he ever heard was the natural flow of sounds he could pull from the other man when intimacy settled between them.

This time, Blaine had come prepared, leaving Kurt wondering when he had time to do it, as the curly haired man pulled a small travel sized bottle of lube from his pocket. It was enough of a surprise to Kurt that he broke the kiss and gawked at him for a moment.

“When did you have time to get that?” he asked.

Blaine looked smug. “You’d be surprised at the kind of things you can find in the shops when you’re waiting around for flights and stuff.”

Kurt was even more surprised. “You found this in an airport?” he asked, his eyes widening like saucers.

“Different countries have different rules about what kinds of places can sell certain things, I guess,” Blaine replied with a shrug. “But no more talking.” He punctuated his words by slipping his hand into Kurt’s pants and gently wrapping it around the already hardened organ. Blaine pulled him out with ease, admiring the other’s beautiful cock. The same beautiful cock that just nights earlier, had been filling him with the utmost pleasure. The very image nearly made him come undone right there, but he held himself back. This was about Kurt.

“Blaine…” Kurt gasped out. The gentle pressure of the darker man’s fingers wrapped around his most sensitive organ was nearly enough to send him cascading over the edge without any real work being done. Kurt couldn’t explain it. Blaine just made him come undone with the simplest touch. Was this what real love was like?

The curly haired man paused to spread some lube on his palm. He had no intention of dry handling Kurt’s precious cock. Kurt watched him squirt a generous amount in his hand and rub both hands together to warm it up and then, he took both his hands and started rubbing it into Kurt’s skin, like he was massaging his cock. Kurt shuddered.

“And now for the best part,” Blaine whispered softly, adding a little more lube to his hand. He wrapped his hand around Kurt’s now slick shaft and pulled up, twisting on the upstroke. The action pulled a gutteral sound from the pale man’s throat and Blaine suppressed a shiver.

Kurt’s hand flew to the arms of the chair, gripping them so hard, his fingernails were starting to leave imprints. But even though he had barely started, Blaine was already incredibly skilled at the art of a handjob. Kurt wondered for a moment just how many times he’d had to satisfy himself, and then nearly blushed at the image of Blaine masterbating.

One thing was certain though, Blaine was enjoying stroking and tugging on Kurt’s cock a lot more than he had milking that cow. He’d milked the cow the other day, imagining it was Kurt’s cock, which was the real reason he’d managed to finish the task so fast, though he would never admit that to Cooper. He’d had to think of something because he hadn’t been too keen on milking a cow in the first place. Kurt’s shaft felt much better in real life than what he’d imagined.

Kurt was beginning to writhe in the chair, his hips arching out of the seat to meet Blaine’s hand thrust for thrust. His head was thrown back against the headrest of the chair and his eyes were practically rolled up in his head. Blaine was very talented with his hands. It made Kurt wonder just how talented he might be with his mouth. And the sudden image of the darker man wrapping his luscious, soft lips around the head of his cock was almost too much to bare. Kurt nearly saw stars but managed to stave off the orgasm, wanting the feeling to last longer.

Blaine kept his eyes on Kurt’s face, watching the ecstasy rolling through the other man, and knowing he was the one making him feel that way.

“You’re so beautiful when you’re wound up like this, Kurt,” Blaine moaned out. He could feel the pressure in his own pants from his own erection begging to spring out, but he studiously ignored it, knowing that even without coming free, watching Kurt come undone would push him over the edge, anyway. And he couldn’t wait. In that moment, he didn’t care if he had to walk back in sticky underwear; it would be well worth it.

“God Blaine! Your hands!” Kurt cried out, biting his lip and slowly sliding his teeth across it, and why did everything he did look so hot? The action caused Blaine to quicken his pace, working faster and needing to bring Kurt to orgasm, to see that beautiful rope of milky white spread over his fist and maybe to lick some of it off.

It wasn’t much longer before Kurt just couldn’t hold back anymore, and he came hard, spilling hot seed over Blaine’s hands. He could see the stars burst behind his eyelids and he cried out, Blaine’s name falling from his lips over and over again. It didn’t matter what kind of sex he had with this man, he knew he would almost manage to tear him apart.

Kurt relaxed his hips, sitting there panting and trying to catch his breath as Blaine licked his hand clean, looking around for a box of tissues so he could clean Kurt up and tuck him away again.

“What about you?” Kurt murmured weakly a few moments later. Blaine had found the tissues and was gently wiping him off. The curly haired man smirked at him.

“Don’t worry, honey, I’m spoken for,” he replied, nodding his head down at his crotch. A noticeable dark stain was spread on his pants and Kurt sat up a little more.

“And just how do you expect to explain that to anyone who might possibly be still awake?” he asked, a little worried.

Blaine was not worried, however. “Everyone that matters is already asleep,” he told Kurt. “I’ll just grab my pack when we get back and hurry into the closest restroom.”

Kurt looked at him for a moment. “Is it selfish if I kind of don’t want to go back?”

The curly haired man was silent for a beat. “Maybe, but if we don’t go now, not only will I be spending the night in sticky underwear, but we could face questions in the morning and I know you don’t want that.”

Kurt shook his head. As much as he really didn’t want to leave, Blaine had a point. He was not keen on the idea of people questioning the stain on Blaine’s pants. Thank a God he didn’t believe in that Sebastian and Hunter and Quinn and Santana were already gone, because Kurt knew that at least two of them would have a smart remark about it.

By the time they returned to the alcove, Dave and Azimio and Rachel and Jesse had arrived, and were sound asleep with the others. The sound person, Zizes, was snoring loudly on the other side of the concourse. Kurt took the risk of giving Blaine a quick kiss before the other man disappeared down the walkway with his bag to change.

He slipped into his sleeping bag, feeling boneless from the pleasure, and fell into a deep sleep.

…

_ “All teams are now flying to Mumbai, India on the same flight. Once there, they will make their way by taxi to SJ Studios, where they will receive their next clue!” _

…

The flight from Batumi was the longest yet, at over twelve and a half hours, with a layover in Istanbul. They’d received breakfast and dinner on the flight, while lunch came from a small cafe in the airport in Istanbul, where all six teams had sat together and enjoyed the break in the competition.

Once they landed in Mumbai, they found the taxis easily enough, and soon all of them were enroute to the studios. It was almost ten at night when they arrived, so they weren’t too surprised that the studios were closed. A sign at the gate stated that they would open at seven the next morning.

They decided to walk to a nearby hotel to spend the night, but as they made their way along the streets, they found a street festival going on. Since they had most of the day to rest, they weren’t as tired as the night before, so decided to check out some of the stalls.

As they wandered around, kurt spotted a broach with a jewel in it the exact color of Blaine’s eyes, and moved closer to inspect it. It was shaped like a small songbird. The pale man couldn’t help it. He just had to have that broach.

“Kurt, don’t wander too far please!” Burt shouted. Even if they were trying to have a little fun, they were still in a race and the last thing they needed was to get separated from each other. Especially now in an unfamiliar city in the middle of India.

“I won’t, dad!” Kurt called back. He turned to glance over his shoulder for a moment, wanting to make sure that Blaine was occupied and didn’t see where he had gone off to. Whatever he decided to do with the broach in the end, he still wanted the other man to be surprised to see it. In a way, it was for him too.

“Hello there porcelain, here to brown up a bit like I do at my condo in Boca?” Kurt looked up from the broach to find the same blonde woman in a tracksuit he and his dad had encountered at the fish market back in Portugal.

“You?” he questioned in surprise.

“You were expecting the fairy Bollywood Father?” she replied. Kurt just stared at her. He was completely flabbergasted at the very fact that he was once again encountering this strange woman at some kind of market stall. “What’s the matter porcelain? Cobra got your tongue?”

“Huh?” he questioned, momentarily forgetting about the broach.

“My great-great-great grandfather was a snake charmer you know.” Kurt just gawked at her because, no, he didn’t know. He wasn’t even sure that was true. Much like most of the other ridiculous nonsense he’d heard come out of this woman’s mouth. And why did she seemingly have all these relatives involved with animals? He shook his head.

“Um, right,” the pale man said, drawing his eyes back to the broach.

The woman watched him for a moment, studying the fair skinned man and inclined her head to one side. “Tell you what porcelain, that broach there is worth about fifty rupees. But I’ve decided I like you, so I’m going to let you have it for free.”

Kurt’s head shot up. He wasn’t entirely sure she was even giving him the correct price of the broach. Granted he was now almost positive, this wasn’t really her stall. And then he noticed that the broach was entirely out of place among the other things that were for sale. Almost as if someone had placed it there on purpose.

“Did you bait me?” he asked after a moment.

“I believe you’re the one who baited the fish porcelain. Go ahead, the broach is yours.” Kurt cautiously took the item, still not completely sure of what was going on here. Just a little bit disturbed, he pulled the broach close to him and casually started walking back to rejoin the other racers.

When he had gotten about halfway back, he glanced over his shoulder, only to see the woman was gone and a plump native man was standing behind the stall, resetting his wares.

The pale man shook his head and turned back to where his dad was standing next to Carole, Tina and Rachel, who were all oohing and ahhing over silk scarves at one of the stalls. He slipped the broach into his pocket, out of sight. For once, Rachel wasn’t whining, and actually complimented Carole when she pointed out that coral colored scarf with the gold threads woven through it brought out an inner glow in the woman that made her look ten years younger.

Finn had insisted that his mom buy the scarf, while Tina bought one that had a peacock feather design on it. Rachel had bought a simple green and blue one.

Kurt felt someone move up behind him, and smiled at Blaine, who rested his chin on his shoulder. He leaned back into the shorter man’s warmth. The interlude only lasted a moment, each man aware of the crowd around them, but it was enough just to know the other was there.

They made their way to the hotel, deciding to split the cost of two rooms among all of them, deciding that even if a couple of them ended up sleeping on couches, it was more comfortable than sleeping on the ground.

…

At seven the next morning, all six teams stood waiting at the gates of SJ Studios, ready to resume the race. As the gate opened, they were greeted by music, and a crowd of dancers, who lead them through a street set to the clue box.

“Roadblock! Who’s ready for their close up?”

…

_ In this Roadblock, one member from each team must learn a complicated dance routine and perform as extras in a Bollywood musical, alongside the other dancers, jugglers, and actors in costumes. _

…

“Jesse, look! Another Fast Forward! We should go for it!” Rachel hissed, for once actually keeping her volume low enough that only he heard her.

_ … _

_ To earn this Fast Forward, a team must travel more than an hour outside of Mumbai to this temple, were both team members must have their head shaved completely smooth, as a form of gratitude for good fortune. _

...

Jesse studied the Fast Forward for a moment. Of course it didn’t tell them what the task was they would have to perform, but it would give them a huge lead going into the next leg. “Okay, let’s do it.”

They took off back to the main road, searching for a taxi.

Kurt watched them go, shaking his head. Apparently they had never watched the show before, or they would have thought twice about trying for the Fast Forward. He turned back to the clue at hand.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Dad?”

Burt shrugged. “It can’t be that bad.” He opened the second half of the clue, and they both read it. “Okay, maybe it can be that bad.”

Kurt just laughed, and watched as his dad was led away, along with Cooper, Finn, Tina and Dave.

He sat down next to Blaine as they waited for their partners to be outfitted, and then watched as they were taught the choreography. There seemed to be a fuss when the director spotted Cooper among the new extras.

“You’re Cooper Anderson! The Free Credit Score guy! It is such an Honor to have you on my set!” Kurt and Blaine exchanged a look that clearly said ‘Oh great, now he’s going to have a swollen head again.’

Once each team member felt as if they had learned the dance routine well enough, they were allowed to try out. Cooper was the first to go, and surprisingly, did very well. He received his clue and went to change out of his costume. Kurt squeezed Blaine’s hand, and kissed his cheek. “See you in a little while!”

Blaine pulled their joined hands up and kissed his knuckles. “Good Luck!”

Finn was the second to try, but failed miserably when the taller man crashed into the two actors in costume beside him. He was sent back for more rehearsal time. Tina also had trouble and was sent back. Dave hadn’t even managed three steps before the director was calling cut and sending him back.

When Burt came out on set, Kurt wasn’t sure if he wanted to watch or not. His dad was not a dancer.

When the music began to play, Kurt’s jaw almost hit the ground as his dad moved flawlessly into the choreography, and looked surprisingly good doing it, if the wolf whistle from Carole was any indication. Kurt wondered why he was so shocked. Hadn’t his dad done the _ Single Ladies _ Dance for him for graduation? The thought brought a tear to Kurt’s eyes, and he clapped and cheered harder and louder than anyone else when Burt received his clue.

He handed Kurt the clue once he returned from changing, and received a hug and kiss on the cheek from Carole.

…

Jesse paid the taxi driver and watched him drive away. The man hadn’t spoken a word of English, and had gotten lost on the way to the temple. They would be calling for a new taxi when they finished the task Hopefully the next one would speak English, he thought, as he and Rachel followed the marked path around to the back of the white marble building to where a small altar was set up. There was a sign on the altar:

To receive the fast forward, both team members must shave their heads as a show of gratitude for good fortune.

“Shave our heads?!” Rachel screeched. “Are they out of their freaking minds? I can’t play Fanny Brice with a bald head! It’s Funny Girl, not Yentl!”

Jesse was equally upset. “I’m not shaving my hair! I’d look completely ridiculous! What kind of sadistic people do they have running this show? First they try to force a Jew to eat pork, and now they want me to cut off my hair? I swear I am going to sue for mental duress!”

“What do we do now?” Rachel asked.

“We have to go back to the Roadblock. There is no way I’m shaving this perfect mane!”

“Go back? But it took more than an hour to get here!”

He turned and looked at her. “Do you want to shave your head?”

“Of course not!”

“Then we have to go back.”

“Fine! Can someone call us a taxi?”

…

“This cow hates me!” Finn shouted in frustration, glaring at the two actors in the costume that he’d tripped over for the sixth time. Tina had improved tremendously, only making two missteps in her last attempt. Dave was still struggling.

“Calm down, sweetie! Come here,” Carole said, motioning him closer. Once he was standing in front of her, she took his hands and looked into his eyes. “You’re trying too hard. Just relax, take a few deep breaths, and have some fun. I believe in you. You can do this! Remember when you wanted to try out for the peewee football team?”

Finn thought back to when he was eight. His mom had taken a day off from two of her jobs to take him to the tryouts. He’d gotten frustrated then, too, and his mom had told him the exact same thing then. He smiled and hugged her. “Thanks, mom!”

They had to wait for Dave to finish his seventh attempt before Finn could try again, since Tina was taking a quick break to down a sports drink to regain some electrolytes.

The tall man took his position, closed his eyes, took a few deep breaths, and just let himself forget that this was a competition, and allowed the music to move through him. Before he knew it, the director was applauding and handing him his clue.

“I did it, Mom!” He shouted.

“I’m so proud of you, Finn!” She blew him a kiss as he returned to the dressing room to change his clothes. When he returned, they opened the clue.

“Fly to Kathmandu, Nepal!”

As they were getting into their taxi, they spotted another taxi pulling up, and saw Rachel and Jesse getting out. Neither of them looked very happy.

“I guess they failed at the Fast Forward,” Carole said. “I wonder what the task was.”

“I don’t know, but they are both seething mad!”

…

“Great job, sweetie!” Mike said as they got into the taxi after reading their clue. They had seen Jesse being led to the changing room as Tina had received their clue, and were glad they were leaving before they had to listen to Rachel’s whining about whatever the Fast Forward was that they failed to complete.

“We’d have been out of there first if you had done this task, though. I’m sorry I didn’t pick it up faster.” She sounded so upset with herself, Mike couldn’t help pulling her in for a kiss. “You did amazing, sweetheart. Don’t be so hard on yourself!”

“We’re here!” The taxi driver said as he pulled up in front of the airport. “That will be one hundred and twenty rupees.”

Mike smiled at the man and reached for the race pack with the money in it, only to realize he wasn’t wearing it. “Crap, I left the race pack at the studio! I took it off when I went to use the restroom while you were doing the challenge!”

“Oh my gosh! We have to go back! Everything is in that pack! Our Money and passports!” Tina said, worry evident in her voice.

“I’m sorry, sir, we need to go back to the studio! We left our money there!” Mike was really in a panic, but trying not to show it. He’d left the tiny black box in the race pouch, where he’d slipped it after learning that they were still racing. “I’m such an idiot!”

“You’re not an idiot! You’re human, we all make mistakes!” Tina said, hugging him.

As they pulled up back at the studio, they saw Dave and Azimio sprinting for their taxi. Mike ran full out to where he knew he had left the pack, breathing a sigh of relief when he spotted it. He jumped back into the waiting taxi just as Rachel’s shout of triumph signaled that Jesse had gotten their clue.

…

_ “All teams are now flying to Kathmandu on the same flight. Once there, they will travel to Le Sherpa’s Farmer’s Market and search for the marked stall, where they will receive their next clue!” _

…

“I see the race flag!” Burt called out to the others. The Hudmel-Anderson alliance, as Cooper had started calling them, had managed to lose the other three teams at the airport once they landed in Kathmandu, and had searched the open air market together for the marked stall. Each team took a clue and read it aloud.

“Sell enough Sekuwa to hungry people at the market.”

…

_ “Sekuwa is meat roasted in a natural wood fire in a traditional Nepalese country style. While the meat is still raw, it is mixed with natural herbs and spices and other ingredients. Sekuwa can be made with pork, lamb, goat or chicken, or a mixture. Sekuwa is very popular in Nepal, especially in Kathmandu. Teams must sell enough to earn 1,800 Nepalese Rupee, approximately $15 US dollars.” _

…

“This stuff smells good!” Finn said as they pushed the small market cart through the crowd.

“No eating any until we sell enough!” his mom admonished. At first he frowned, but the promise of food gave him the incentive to start selling, calling out and smiling at the people around him. They had all stopped to gawk at the young man, having rarely seen anyone that tall. His easy-going manner and awkward kindness drew them in, and all three teams quickly made their money and handed it in for their clues, spotting the other three teams selling in the crowded market. Finn purchased half a dozen of the tasty skewers as his mom read the clue.

“Detour. Flit or Flight?”

…

_ In this detour, teams must choose between two common tourist attractions. In flit, teams must travel to a nearby botanical garden and photograph six varieties of butterflies. Though the gardens are home to hundreds of butterflies, locating six different species might be time consuming. _

_ In Flight, teams travel a much greater distance to a forest preserve, where they will only have to photograph one Peacock. Locating the bird is easy enough, but the drive through the forest can be treacherous, and teams will need to hire a local driver to navigate through the preserve. _

…

“I’d love to do Flit,” Carole said. “I think I have a pretty good eye and can spot six different butterflies.”

Burt studied his clue again. “I think we’re going to do Flight. It may take longer to get there, but it sounds like finding a peacock is easy enough.”

“I think that’s what we’re going to do, too,” Blaine said, glancing at his brother for confirmation.

“Okay,” Carole said. “Good luck! We’ll see you at the Pit Stop!”

She waved at the boys and Burt as they found the drivers to take them to the preserve, and then flagged down a Taxi to take them to the botanical garden. One of the reasons Carole had chosen this challenge was because Lepidopterology was a hobby of hers when she was younger, and she’d always wanted to study the various species around the world.

They collected their camera at the small kiosk near the entrance, and entered the gardens. It was like entering paradise, with all the beautiful flowers blooming everywhere they looked. Butterflies, hummingbirds, dragonflies, and all manner of colorful creatures darted in and out amongst the plants.

A large blue and black butterfly settled on a sweet smelling bush next to them, and Carole tried to get a picture of it, but it flitted away before she could focus on it. This might be harder than she’d thought.

…

Kurt winced as the truck they were riding in hit another rut in the road, sending him bouncing into the door once again. The clue hadn’t been kidding when it said the roads were treacherous.

In the past thirty minutes, he’d hit his head on the roof once, slammed his shoulder into the door three times, and had a box of supplies slam into his back. He only hoped the camera was still working when they reached where ever it was they were going. It had fallen off the seat and landed on Burt’s hiking boot clad toe.

The vehicle slowed suddenly, and their driver pointed out the front window. There, three peacocks could be seen in the shade of a cliff. Two of them were shiny blue-green, while the third was pearl white. Kurt stared at them in awe, almost forgetting he was supposed to take a picture. As he rolled down the window to get a better shot, the white one fanned out it’s tail, displaying it’s gorgeous feathers. Smiling, Kurt took the picture.

“Got it! It says we’re supposed to show the picture to the warden at the southern outpost.”

…

“Last one!” Finn said as he showed his mother the picture of the tiny yellow and blue butterfly he had just taken.

“Lovely! The clue says to show the pictures to the head botanist, who is located in the rose garden.” They checked the map, trying not to let Rachel and Jesse see where they were going. The other team had been following them around since they’d arrived shortly after Finn and Carole. Tina and Mike had only arrived a short while ago. Personally, Carole would much rather have Team Asian following them than Rachel and Jesse. At least the adorable couple were pleasant enough, and Carole just enjoyed being around them more than the loud mouthed, obnoxious pair.

They spotted the botanist and turned in their polaroids. After inspecting them to make sure that each one was indeed a different species, she nodded and handed them their next clue. Rachel and Jesse we’re far behind them, but apparently they hadn’t been as meticulous in differentiating between species. The botanist told them to try again, as they had three pictures of the same species.

Finn and Carole waited until they were some distance from the other team before opening the clue.

“Make your way to the Pit Stop, Chovar Bagmati Bridge!”

…

_ “This suspension bridge over the Bagmati River, in the Chobhar Gorge, is over one hundred and ten years old. Legend says that gorge was created when Manjushree, a divine saint from China, came here and saw a huge lotus emanating bright light at the centre of the lake. He cut a deep gorge, allowing the water to drain from the lake because he wanted to observe and worship the lotus. This is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race. _

…

“Team incoming!” Marley called out. Phil and the young man with him took their positions. The man was wearing A glitter and rhinestone studded, steampunk top hat and frock coat, and four inch platform shoes. His eyes were lined with kohl, and he had multiple piercings in his ears.

“Any guesses who the first team will be, Starchild?” Phil asked. The stunning man had worked as an intern during the interviews with the current racers, although most of them probably wouldn’t recognize him as Elliott Gilbert, the kind of nerdy assistant who had sat in and taken notes at most of their interviews.

“I’m hoping it’s the Hummels or the Hudsons, but I liked the brothers as well.”

“Well, here they come. Looks like you might get your wish,” the host said as they saw Finn and Carole getting out of the taxi. The mother and son jogged towards them, holding hands.

“Welcome to Kathmandu, Nepal!” Starchild said, beaming at them with gleaming white teeth.

“Finn and Carole, you are team number one!”

“Yes! Dude!” Finn shouted, hugging his mom.

“As the winners of this leg of the race, you have won a trip for two to the Bahamas, which you can enjoy after the race! This is your third first place finish, how does it feel?”

“Wonderful!” Carole replied, still hugging her son with one arm. “This has been one of the greatest experiences of my life, and it’s incredible to share it with this guy right here!”

As she spoke, Burt and Kurt and Blaine and Cooper arrived, racing for the mat.

“Come on in here, guys!” Phil said, waving them over.

Blaine eyed the man standing beside Phil, who seemed to be checking out Kurt. “Hey, Glitter Rock Vampire, he’s taken!” he hissed.

The man looked at him and smiled. “Obviously. You two are meant for each other, but you can’t blame a guy for looking!”

Phil just smiled. “Burt and Kurt, you are team number two! Blaine and Cooper, that makes you team number three!”

“Yes!”

“You guys really have bonded, haven’t you?” Phil asked.

“We really love these guys,” Burt replied. “They’re good people, and they really deserve to be here. It’s crazy to think that it took a race around the world to remind us just how small the world really is, and that there are truly amazing people out there just waiting for you to meet them.”

“That’s entirely true,” Phil said, shaking their hands as they were led away. Before they reached the rest tent, two more teams arrived.

“Dave and Azimio, you are team number four!”

“Rachel and Jesse, you are team number five!”

…

Mike gripped the small black box in his fist behind his back, even as he held Tina’s hand in the other as they walked up to the mat. His knees were shaking. What if she said no? What if he dropped the ring? A thousand thoughts raced through his mind, he could barely pay attention to what Phil was saying.

“Tina and Mike, you are the last team to arrive.”

Should he do it now, before Phil officially eliminated them? No, it would be rude to interrupt the other man. Who seemed to be taking forever to tell them they were out of the race. Was it just his imagination, or had time stopped completely? Why wasn’t Phil talking? When the host finally spoke again, Mike was sure he had misheard.

“However, this is a non elimination leg, and you are both still in the race!”

Tina’s cry of relief drowned out Phil’s reminder that they would face a Speed Bump in the next leg, but even if it hadn’t, Mike probably wouldn’t have heard it over the rush of disbelief that filled him. Maybe they wouldn’t be eliminated! Maybe they would make it to the finish line. He could ask her then, and have a million reasons for her to say yes!


	10. Crikey!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the second of two guys! There are only 3 more chapters after this one! So I might just post them all in one day. Instead of giving you two like normally and then torturing you on waiting for the last one. xD
> 
> Comments and kudos make us smile!

Monsoon storms forced them to move the racers to a nearby B&B for their twelve hour rest period, and most of them (minus Rachel and Jesse, who were still fuming over the Fast Forward fiasco, and chose to retire early,) spent a pleasant evening chatting, and even singing.   


Their hosts were kind, and generous (perhaps due to the hefty amount of money the producers had given them for letting them stay there on such short notice,) and brought out several bottles of a locally made wine that was remarkably good, along with other native delicacies. Finn had been happy when they had served the same skewered meat they had sold that day in the marketplace.

It was one of the few moments they really got a chance to sit back and relax on the race. It felt like even with twelve hours to do nothing but chill and talk, everyone was still on tender hooks, because you never knew if part of someone’s strategy would be using what they learned about you to their advantage. Getting too close to another racer could still be deadly, no matter how friendly that racer seemed.

The chance to get refreshed and cleanup was something each of the racers looked forward to during the rest period. Many of them took advantage of that time, especially when they were in a place with proper running water. As such, the only thought on Mike’s mind as he excused himself from the group for a shower, was feeling the hot spray soothe his aching muscles.

It didn’t take long for Blaine to notice that Kurt had separated himself from the group as well, and was lying on a couch in the back of the common area, an arm across his forehead, covering his eyes. Concerned, the curly haired man got up to go see if he was okay.

“Kurt?” Blaine asked gently as he approached the man he was falling in love with.

“Hm?” was the only means of response. Kurt didn’t move, and his tone sounded slightly pained. Blaine frowned, worried.

“Are you alright, sweetie?” he asked, gently sitting on the edge of the couch and taking Kurt’s free hand in his own. Kurt still didn’t move, but when he spoke, his voice was on the quiet side.

“I’m fine,” he said carefully. “I just have a headache right now. I think all the stress of the race is getting to me.”

Blaine gave his hand a squeeze. “I have some medicine in my race pack, if you would like to take something,” he suggested gently.

Kurt finally lowered his arm from his head. “You are the sweetest thing ever, thank you.” Blaine smiled at him and leaned down to peck a kiss to the other’s cheek.

“I’ll be right back,” he said in a soothing tone. “I promise.” He released Kurt’s hand and got up to go get the medicine. Blaine went to the room he and Cooper would be sharing with Mike and Tina and picked up the race pack, not registering that the pack was lighter than it had been earlier until he opened it. He didn’t find the small bottle of headache medicine, nor any of the other travel sized medicines he had thought to pack. Instead, he found a small black box that looked suspiciously like the type of box an engagement ring would come in.

Unless Cooper had been hiding something from him, this was not their pack. At the moment he realized it, Mike came in from the bathroom to get his slippers, which he’d forgotten. Blaine looked at him, still holding the small black box.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snoop!” Blaine said. “I grabbed your bag by mistake.”

Mike just smiled and took the pack and ring box. “It’s fine, just please, don’t tell anyone!”

“I won’t. And good luck!” He shook the other man’s hand, and then searched for his own fanny pack and retrieved the bottle of headache medicine. He returned to the common room where Kurt was still laying on the couch.

“Here, honey, sit up for a moment.” He slipped behind the pale man, supporting his head as he helped him take the medicine and drink some water. He then began massaging the taller man’s shoulders. Kurt let out a soft moan as the darker man’s fingers began loosening up his muscles.

The pale man shut his eyes, relaxing into Blaine’s touch. It was the little things like these that had his heart beating for the other man. Moments like this that were the reason he was falling for Blaine, or if he was perfectly honest, already had fallen for Blaine.

Blaine remained quiet as he continued to work the tension out of Kurt’s shoulders. There was so much of it, along with pent up aggression, which Blaine wasn’t surprised by. There was a team still kicking it that was trying even his patience. And Blaine Anderson had been told that he could be one of the most patient people in the world. He glanced momentarily in the direction of the room where Rachel and Jesse had retired. With the apology and what had happened in the first half of the double leg, Dave and Azimio weren’t quite so big an issue anymore. Kurt was still a little apprehensive around the jocks, but they weren’t messing with him anymore.

“Blaine, why are you so amazing?” Kurt asked in a sleep laden tone. It was clear he was maybe in a state of partial sleep and Blaine was caught slightly off guard. He dropped a kiss to the top of the taller man’s head.

“Mm, you’re the one who’s amazing sweetie,” Blaine replied. Kurt hummed in contentment. There was no doubt in the curly haired man’s mind that the other was just moments away from falling completely asleep. At another time, these actions might have lead down a different path, but boy, did they all need some sleep.

It was only a few moments later that Kurt curled up against Blaine, making maneuvering his hands nearly impossible and instead, he wrapped his arms around the other man to hold him close. Blaine nuzzled his nose against Kurt’s cheek and pressed a chaste kiss to his forehead. He never wanted to let this angel go.

…

_ “This hundred year old bridge over the Chobhar Gorge and Bagmati River provides wondrous views of the Kathmandu Valley. This was the seventh Pit Stop in a race around the world. The six remaining teams have no idea what is waiting for them. _

_ “Finn and Carole, who were the first to arrive at 4:31 pm, will depart at 4:31 am.” _

…

“Fly to Brisbane, Queensland, Australia!” Finn read. “Finally, someplace I recognize!”

Carole hugged her son as they made their way to the waiting taxis. “We’re going to the airport, but we’re waiting for a couple of other teams,” she told the driver as they loaded their backpacks into the trunk. After a few minutes, Burt and Kurt and Blaine and Cooper came into view.

They arrived at the airport and immediately went to the computer room to check flights. “Looks like the 10 am flight is the earliest,” Burt said. “We’ll all be on the same flight again, at least as far as Kuala Lumpur. The flight from there to Brisbane is pretty full.”

“Well, let’s book the tickets,” Carole said. “If the others make it on the other flight, so be it. If not, the bigger our lead.”

They printed out their tickets and went through the security checkpoint.

…

_ “All teams are now making their way to Brisbane, Australia. Finn and Carole, Burt and Kurt, and Blaine and Cooper, all have a connecting flight out of Kuala Lumpur, while Dave and Azimio, Rachel and Jesse and Tina and Mike must still find a connecting flight. Once they arrive in Brisbane, they will choose a marked vehicle with a driver to take them to their next destination, Redcliffe Aerodrome, where they will find their next clue.” _

…

The Kuala Lumpur airport was bustling when they arrived. Dave and Azimio, Rachel and Jesse and Tina and Mike had beelined for the ticket counter, trying to get on standby for the flight that the other three teams were on, while also trying to book tickets for the next available flight. Meanwhile, Finn and Carole, Burt and Kurt, and Blaine and Cooper had checked in for their connecting flight, and were resting in one of the restaurants as they ate a small meal. They’d been served lunch on the flight from Kathmandu, and would receive another meal and a snack on the nine hour flight to Brisbane.

When the flight was announced, they took their seats, and waited to see if any of the other teams would make it onto the flight. They thought they would luck out when the flight attendant moved to close the doors, but at the last moment, Dave and Azimio came dashing down the gangway.   


“Yes!” Dave said, stowing his bag quickly in the overhead and taking a seat. “We got the last standby tickets. Rachel was pissed! She’s out there berating the poor guy at the ticket counter! I think he was calling security as we boarded!”

“What about Mike and Tina?” Blaine asked.

“They got tickets on the next flight, but Rachel and Jesse are only standby on that one, too, which since we got on this flight, they will probably get our seats.”

Kurt still had a lingering headache, and after another round of medicine from Blaine, snuggled up against the darker man’s side and fell asleep after dinner was served. Their flight wasn’t scheduled to land until almost two in the morning, which meant that wherever they were going probably wouldn’t be open when they got there, and they should probably get some sleep now, since they would probably be sleeping on the ground again later.

Kurt was feeling better when he woke up as the snack was served, and once they landed, he was ready to race again. They reached the marked vehicles, and introduced themselves to the drivers.

“How far is Redcliffe Aerodrome?” Kurt asked as they pulled out onto the main road.

“It’s about an hour north of Brisbane, mate,” The driver said. Kurt had an inkling of what was to come, and kept stealing furtive glances at his dad. There was no way he was allowing his dad to do anything that might overstress his heart.

When they reached the aerodrome, Kurt spotted the clue box immediately, and next to it was another stand with yellow tags numbered one through six. The three teams dashed for the stand, but Kurt was fastest, and snatched the number one before Cooper could. He settled for number two, while Finn grabbed the three and Dave the four. They took the clues, and read them out loud.

“Roadblock! Who wants a bird's eye view?”

…

_ “In this Roadblock, one person from each team must tandem skydive from fifteen hundred feet in the air. Only two teams may go up at a time. The first flight leaves at 7am.” _

…

“I’m doing it!” Kurt said, glaring at his dad, daring him to argue. Burt just shook his head.

“Go for it, Kiddo. Even without the unneeded stress, skydiving has never been something I’ve wanted to do.”

There was almost four hours until the first flight, so they decided to try and get a couple more hours of sleep. Kurt and Blaine once again leaned against each other under a space blanket, while Burt and Carole also shared a blanket nearby.   


Kurt smiled as he looked down at the curly head of the man sleeping beside him. He was starting to get used to waking up to this man everyday. He didn’t know what he would do when the race was over and he went back to New York, while Blaine returned to Michigan. He couldn’t imagine not having him by his side.

He pushed the thought away as hazel eyes slowly blinked open, and looked up at him. “Good morning,” he mumbled.

Kurt smiled back. “Good morning, starshine. Ready to jump out of a perfectly good aircraft?”

The darker man returned his smile. “Let’s get it done.”

As Kurt and Blaine were lead into the office to get geared up and receive a short safety and protocol lecture, the last two teams arrived. Planes would take off in fifteen minute intervals, much to Rachel’s displeasure. Kurt could hear her ranting even from a distance, with the instructor talking and a large fan blowing nearby.

He was glad when they were led out to the plane, and could no longer hear the diva’s voice. He was even more glad that he was going to experience this with Blaine. He snuck a quick kiss as they were strapped into the harnesses with their tandem instructors. They held hands as the plane took off, only letting go of each other when it was time for them to move to the door for their jump.

“On the count of three,” The instructor said into Kurt’s ear. “One, two, three!”

Kurt thought he might have screamed, not in fear, but excitement, but he wasn’t sure if the sound actually left his mouth, as the air on his face made it feel like he was swallowing his own mouth. This was even more incredible than the zip line had been. He could see the edge of the world as they fell through the sky. It was indescribable.   


He heard Blaine’s scream of laughter and tried to look up at him, but the instructor pulled the chute just then, and all he could see was the silk. After a moment, as the ride smoothed out and they made a small adjustment, he could see the other man just above them.

“I love this!” he heard the other man shout. He couldn’t help but think, ‘and I love you,’ but he kept it to himself. Instead he just laughed at the knowledge that it was true. He was in love with Blaine Anderson, and soon he would tell him so, but not while they were still racing.

…

Burt watched the plane with Kurt and Blaine take off, while out of the corner of his eye, he saw Carole being geared up. Three people he cared about deeply were about to do something very dangerous, and he had to pretend he wasn’t scared to death. He sent up a prayer to a god he knew his son didn’t believe in to keep him and Carole and the others safe. Even Dave and Rachel.

Dave, who would be going up with Carole, looked terrified as they were led to the plane. Rachel and Mike, who would be the last ones to jump, were led into the office to get geared up, while Burt and Cooper had their drivers take them to the dropzone.   


They arrived at the beach area just as the first plane came into sight, and Burt watched as two bundles tumbled out. From this distance they looked nothing like human beings, and he had no clue which one was his son and which one was the one he hoped would be a son in law someday.

…

Mike was nervous as the plane took off, but was too distracted by Rachel’s never ending complaints to really think about why. He had hoped to propose at the finish line, but with each day that passed, he grew more and more impatient, and had almost popped the question several times over the past week. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could wait.   


…

_ “I was half hoping we’d come in last, so I could propose, but at the same time, I wanted to win that million dollars so I could give her the most amazing wedding ever. I was losing my concentration, too distracted by my nerves!” _

_ ... _

He was so distracted, he didn’t even notice when the instructor maneuvered them into the doorway until they were falling through the sky.

…

The landing was less than graceful, but they were safely on the ground, and Kurt’s system was flooded with adrenaline, making him laugh and whoop as he was released from the harness. As soon as he was free, he raced over to where Blaine had landed and hugged the shorter man, he was just as giddy. “I want to do that again!” Kurt said.

Blaine laughed harder and kissed him, before they each received their clue. They raced together up the beach to where their partners were waiting for them before ripping open the envelopes.

“Have your drivers take you to Australia Zoo in Beerwah, Queensland, and search for your next clue!”

“Let’s go!” Kurt said, still feeling slightly euphoric. He hugged Blaine once more before they parted and ran to their respective vehicles.

As they began to make their way back to the main road, the second plane came into view. As they turned onto the highway, they had a perfect view of Carole and Dave as they exited the plane and began the freefall. They watched as the chutes were deployed, before their vehicles made a turn that took them out of view of the beach.

....

“Mom! Are you okay?” Finn asked as his mother came jogging up to him with the clue. He’d been scared out of his wits waiting. Why hadn’t he done this challenge? His mom had been very insistent that she wanted to do it, though, so he had given in.

“I’m fine, Honey! That was amazing! We should do that together sometime!” He hugged her tightly, glad that she seemed to be so happy and enjoying her life.   


…

_ “I want to see that look on my mom’s face more often. If it means I have to jump out of planes with her, then I’m more than happy to do it! I want to make sure she never has to work again unless she wants to. That’s why we’re going to win this race!” _

_ ... _

“I love you, Mom!”

Carole laughed. “I love you, too, sweetie. Now come on! Let’s kick some butt!”

Her excitement was contagious, and Finn couldn’t help laughing as they held hands and raced back to their waiting driver.

As they got into the car, Finn couldn’t help noticing that Dave hadn’t moved from where he’d landed a few seconds after his mom. “Is he okay?”

Carole looked where her son was pointing. “Physically, he’s fine, but I think he may have had a panic attack during the freefall. They’re giving him some oxygen. He’ll be fine in a few minutes.”

…

Azimio didn’t know what to think when Dave collapsed on the beach and didn’t move, especially when the medics rushed over to check on him. He rushed over to his friend, even though they were told they were supposed to wait in the specified area, but no one said anything, because they were worried, too.

“Dave? You okay, Buddy?”

…

_ “I didn’t care about winning the race at that moment, I just wanted to know my boy was okay. I don’t need the million dollars that bad. I was scared *bleep*less that he was dead.” _

...

The other man looked up at him, and smiled weakly through the oxygen mask covering his face. “I’m alive. I don’t ever want to do that again.”

Azimio laughed. “Okay, no more jumping out of planes for you. Other than that, are you okay? Do you need to change your underwear?”

Dave snorted with laughter, and the medic gave him the all clear.   


…

“There’s the clue box!” Blaine all but shouted, still feeling an adrenaline buzz.

“A little louder, Squirt, I don’t think they heard you back in the states,” Cooper teased as they got out of the vehicle. Burt and Kurt were right behind them.   


“Find Bindi and Robert in the Crocoseum for your next clue!”

“Who are Bindi and Robert?” Cooper asked. Three pairs of eyes looked at him in disbelief. “What? I’ve never been to Australia before.”

“Coop, you watch Dancing With The Stars religiously,” Blaine pointed out, “how can you not know who Bindi and Robert Irwin are?”

“You mean that tiny girl who won season 21? So, what’s she doing at a zoo?”

The other three men just shook their heads and began racing through the Zoo, spotting the Speed Bump sign for Tina and Mike. They found the Crocoseum, and were instructed to change into khakis and shirts emblazoned with the Australia Zoo logo, and embroidered with their names. They were led out to the Crocoseum, where a pretty young woman and handsome young man were waiting. Both of them had huge smiles on their faces. The girl’s hair was a slightly darker shade of blonde than the boy’s.

“Welcome to Australia Zoo!” Bindi said, radiating kindness. “I’m Bindi, and this is my brother, Robert, and this…” she pointed to the large male crocodile that had just thrown itself out of the water, “is Graham.”

“Crikey! That’s a big croc!” Kurt exclaimed, making Bindi laugh.   


“My dad used to say that every living thing was beautiful and important,” Robert said. “That’s why our mission here at Australia Zoo is to educate people on conservation and respect for the world around us.”

“One of the ways we educate people is through our shows here in the crocoseum,” Bindi continued. “We show people the beauty and power of these magnificent creatures. And that’s what we want to share with each of you. Each of you are going to feed Graham half of a chicken. Once he’s fed, you’ll receive your next clue!”

Blaine was the first one to approach the animal, glad that Robert was beside him, along with another handler on the other side. He held the chicken carcass by the leg, as instructed, holding it head high, and giving just the lightest swing as he tossed it towards the animal, which had reared up for its snack.

“Wow! So beautiful!” Blaine said, stepping back and letting Cooper take his turn. It was an even more awesome site from this distance, as he was able to watch the muscles as the living dinosaur prepared to spring out of the water.

“Very well done!” Bindi said, clapping. “Here’s your clue!”

Blaine may have deliberately fumbled with the clue so that he could watch Kurt feed the beast, admiring the way the light played over his muscular form as he stretched out to dangle the chicken over the pool, and the way that the khaki shorts clung to that perfect ass…

“You’re drooling, Squirt. Snap out of it!” Cooper snapped his fingers in front of his face, cutting off his view. Blaine blushed, and they opened the clue.

“Have your driver take you to Reef HQ Aquarium in Townsville, Queensland, Australia, and search for your next clue!” Burt and Kurt were right behind them as they raced back to their vehicles. Finn and Carole were just getting their clue as they came out, and they paused to hug the other team.

“It was awesome!” Kurt said, as they parted. “See you guys soon!”

As they were pulling onto the freeway, they spotted Dave and Azimio coming off the offramp.

“How far is it to Townsville?” Blaine asked the driver.   


“Just over fourteen hours, mate.”

Blaine sighed and settled back into the seat, wishing he was riding with Kurt. He’d gotten used to sleeping with the other man beside him, and had actually felt rested when he woke up. Ever since the attack in high school, he’d had trouble sleeping, any noise or disturbance bringing him fully awake, but with Kurt beside him, he’d slept deeply and soundly, undisturbed. Maybe if he’d been riding with the other man, he could have taken a nap during the drive, but he didn’t think he’d get any sleep without him. What was he going to do after the race was over?

…

“I’m so jealous! That looked like so much fun!” Tina said, hugging Mike after he’d landed and collected the clue.

“It was awesome!” Mike said, kissing her. “I wish it had been you up there with me instead of Rachel. I think I’m deaf in my left ear now.”

The shorter girl had screamed in terror all through the descent, and he had to wonder why she had chosen to do the task in the first place.   


They quickly made their way to the vehicle, and made the hour long drive to Australia Zoo.They spotted their Speed Bump, and quickly retrieved the clue.

…

_ “In this Speed Bump, Tina and Mike must help clean one of the Koala exhibits, and make sure the shy, gentle creatures have fresh food and water.” _

…

Tina looked up at the cage and wrinkled her nose slightly. “Um, I don’t mind the fact that they’re koalas, but I’m not entirely sure cleaning a cage is something I can handle,” she admitted, glancing at Mike.

Mike offered her a reassuring smile. “I don’t think it’s any different than cleaning a dog pen if you have one,” he said. “Just maybe on a slightly larger scale.”

“Slightly?” Tina questioned with a raised eyebrow. Mike shrugged, but before he could say anything, someone else interrupted.

“Get on with the show already, Asian, Other Asian.” Tina and Mike turned to see a woman reclining back in a chair that looked completely out of place in the middle of the walkway. She had short blonde hair, and was wearing a tracksuit. She held a box of popcorn in one hand, tossing a kernel at them.

“Who are you?” Tina asked.

“The manager is my cousin’s brother-in-law’s sister’s best friend,” the woman stated in a matter-of-fact tone of voice. Mike and Tina glanced at each other. Who was this woman, and was she even for real? “Now, come on! I was promised a show and right now, the two of you just standing there is about as boring as a couple of sharks trying to perform a trapeze act with some local chimpanzees!”

Tina raised an eyebrow in astonishment. “Sharks and chimpanzees can’t use the trapeze,” she said.

“Neither can you Asian! Now get moving!” She threw more popcorn at them.

Tina was not at all happy with this woman. Mike put a hand on her shoulder. “Come on. Just try to ignore her. The sooner we help these koalas, the sooner we can keep moving in the race,” he encouraged her.

So the two of them started to help an attendant with preparing the cage and taking care of the koalas, trying to ignore the woman who was continuing to throw popcorn at them and shouting out ridiculous comments.

“My grandmother has more stamina than you! A walrus moves faster than that! I can prick you harder than a porcupine! You make the koala look like Spiderman!”

They managed to finish the job, and even got a koala hug as a reward, before heading to the Crocoseum in time to see Rachel scream in terror when the crocodile snatched the chicken out of her fingers.

Tina was thrilled to meet Robert and Bindi, and laughed as she fed Graham, not scared in the least. They got their clue, and rushed back to the parking lot, to their vehicle. They were only a few minutes behind Rachel and Jesse. They could still catch up.

…

“Figures!” Cooper said, reading the sign on the aquarium door. “Open at 7 am.” It was just after midnight.   


“So, do we want to get a motel room, or camp on the beach over there?” Blaine asked, leaning against Kurt, who had arrived just behind them.

“I’m so tired, I could sleep standing up,” Kurt replied, nuzzling his chin into Blaine’s hair. “Let’s just campout. At least sand is more comfortable than concrete.” They set out their sleeping mats and unrolled their sleeping bags, although it was warm enough that a thin blanket was all they needed. Kurt spooned up behind Blaine, and almost immediately, both men were falling into a contented sleep.   


Burt glanced at his son and the other man, a soft smile on his face. Cooper was also looking at the two men. “That boy of yours is a lifesaver, you know that? I don’t know what Blaine is gonna do without him after the race is over. I’ve never seen him fall asleep so fast and so comfortably.”

Burt nodded. “They’ll figure it out. Kurt usually tosses and turns in his sleep, but he seems perfectly happy to never move again with that brother of yours beside him.” The elder Hummel continued to sit up, watching the two younger men, even as Cooper settled down nearby. He was still up when Finn and Carole arrived a short time later. He finally laid down when Tina and Mike and Dave and Azimio arrived. Rachel and Jesse apparently opted for a motel room.

…

When the doors opened, the six teams walked briskly to the clue box in front of a painting of the Great Barrier Reef, each grabbing a clue and opening it.

“Detour! Surf or Turf!”

…

_ “In this Detour, teams must choose between two conservation methods. In Surf, teams must take a boat out to a floating science platform, where scientists are making an effort to preserve the Great Barrier Reef, by placing healthy coral specimens among damaged and dying coral in an effort to revive them. Teams must prep thirty pieces of coral for transplant, and then dive under the water to watch the scientists place at least fifteen pieces. Once the coral has been placed, the scientist will give them their next clue. _

_ “In Turf, Teams must deliver a seacleaner to the Australian Institute of Marine Science. These floating machines help remove plastic and other litter from the ocean, making the waters safer for marine animals.”   
_

…

“Let’s do surf!” Carole suggested.

“Definitely!” Blaine said, while Burt and Kurt nodded. It seemed that the other three teams all decided to do Surf as well, as they were all sprinting for the boats a moment later.

Burt and Kurt were the first ones to the platform, where a man who looked a lot like Jacque Cousteau showed them how to carefully secure the coral in the frames. They worked quickly, placing the delicate coral in the frames, making sure they were secured. At the next station over, Blaine and Cooper were working just as quickly, and the two teams finished neck and neck, and carried the frames over to the side of the platform, where they passed them down to the divers, and slipped into the water.   


Using snorkeling masks and flippers, they were able to watch as the scientists began placing the pieces of coral in the crystal clear waters. Kurt was awestruck at the undersea paradise. There were so many vibrant colors everywhere he looked, schools of incandescent fish darting through the massive living organism that was the Great Barrier Reef. He was so busy studying the various creatures, including a beautiful old sea turtle that swam past him, he didn’t realize his dad had received their clue.

They swam back to the platform, and opened the waterproof envelope.

“Take the boat back to land and make your way by taxi to the next Pit Stop, Castle Hill Lookout!” They scrambled into the boat as quickly as they could, not caring that they were soaking wet, as all the other teams were right behind them.

…

_ “Castle Hill has formerly also been known locally as Cutheringa, Cudtheringa, Cootharinga, and Mt Cutheringa. It rises to a height of some 286 metres (938 ft) above sea level and dominates the city skyline. This Pink Granite Monolith is the eighth Pit Stop in a race around the world. The Last team to check in here, maybe eliminated!” _

…

“Ms. Rhodes?” Phil said, frowning, as the woman was obviously drunk. “It’s time to take your position. The teams are on their way!”   


The blonde woman grinned and patted his cheek. “Well, which position do you want me in, Hot Stuff?”

Once again, Phil had to wonder who had hired the greeters for this season. What had happened to hiring natives to welcome the racers? He moved away from the woman, who seemed to be all hands all of a sudden. “Just take your mark over here, please.”

Burt and Kurt came running up the steps from the parking lot, and stepped on to the mat.

“Well, aren’t you the real package! Look at all those muscles!” April said, stumbling forward to run her hands over Burt’s arms. Burt flinched, and tried to gently push her back.

“Easy there, Young Lady. I’m taken.”

“So? Just because you bought the cow don’t mean you can’t drink the milk!”

“Burt and Kurt,” Phil cut in, trying to maneuver the woman out of the way. “You are team number one! As the winners of this leg, you have won a Trip for two to Champagne, France, that you can enjoy after the race!”

They were still trying to disentangle April from Burt when Blaine and Cooper arrived. She gave up on Burt when she spotted the blue eyed Anderson brother, pawing at his chest. “Blaine and Cooper, you are team number two!”

Phil waved to Marley, needing help restraining the intoxicated woman. The Security team managed to remove the woman before the next team arrived.   


“Finn and Carole, You are team number three!”

“Rachel and Jesse, you are Team number four!”

“Dave and Azimio, you are team number five!”

…

Blaine waved Kurt and the other racers over to watch what was about to happen when he spotted Team Asian coming up the hill.

….

This was it. Mike was ready as they reached the mat. He knew they were last, and this couldn’t be another non elimination leg. Surprisingly, he felt very calm, no nerves at all.

“Tina and Mike, you are the last team to arrive. I’m sorry to tell you, you have both been eliminated from the race.”

“We know,” Tina said, still smiling. “This has been an amazing adventure! I got to swim with a sea turtle today, and I met Robert and Bindi Irwin, two of my favorite people! And to do all that with Mike just made it all the more exciting.”

“I loved doing this with Tina,” Mike said, seizing the opportunity. “I hope to have many more adventures with her by my side.” He pulled the small box from his pocket, and dropped to one knee. “Tina, you make everything I do more exciting, and I want you at my side for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?”

Her eyes had gone wide, and tears trickled down her cheek. “Yes! Oh my gosh yes!”

Blaine and the other racers all joined them, clapping and hugging them.


	11. Jiminy Crickets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! So here is the first of the last three chapters of the first race. That's right, I said the first race. ;) More on that when I post the final chapter!
> 
> Comments and kudos make us smile!

Despite being eliminated, the producers allowed Tina and Mike to stay at the rest tent and celebrate for a while with the friends they had made. And were even persuaded to provide Champagne for a toast to the happy couple. They departed after lunch so that the remaining teams could rest and relax.

Blaine had been very happy for the other couple, especially Tina, who he’d gotten to know pretty well whenever he wasn’t with Kurt. He was sad they had been eliminated, but both of them said it hadn’t really bothered them, that it had been an incredible adventure that they will always treasure, and someday share with their kids.

After they left, he and Kurt took a short walk around the Lookout, holding hands, thankful that Australia was one country that had embraced equality, and they didn’t have to worry about what people might do to them for being gay. They stood under one of the awnings, looking out over the city. Blaine stood behind the taller man, arms wrapped around his chest, chin resting on his shoulder.   


It felt so right being there with the pale man, Blaine almost let slip those three very important words, but bit them back. They were still in a competition. He didn’t want to throw off the other man’s concentration by admitting that he loved him. But he couldn’t hide the fact from himself anymore. He was in love with Kurt Hummel, and the moment the competition was over, he was going to tell him. He didn’t know how they would manage with Kurt living in New York, and him living in Michigan, but he knew that he needed this man in his life.

Kurt sighed, and turned in his arms, draping his arms over Blaine’s shoulders, before giving him a soft, lingering kiss. They just held each other for a moment, before Kurt pulled back slightly. “We should get back to the tent and try and get some sleep while we can.”

Blaine smiled, and kissed him one more time, before walking back. When they arrived, they found a strange tableau playing out. Burt and Dave were restraining Finn, while Cooper and Azimio held back Jesse. Carole was awkwardly comforting Rachel in the corner.

“Um, what did we miss?” Blaine asked.

“He was yelling at Rachel and being mean to her!” Finn snapped, trying to break free. “I’m sick and tired of the way you treat her! You don’t deserve her!”

“And you think you’re good enough for her?” Jesse shouted

“Of course not!” Finn shouted, no longer struggling to get free. “But I sure as hell would treat her way better than you do! You don’t even really know her! None of you even tried to get to know her! You all think she’s just a spoiled Diva making demands, but the truth is she’s just a scared little girl who wants to be loved for herself, not her talent!   


“Yeah, her dads gave her everything, but they were never really there for her when she wanted to know about her biological mom, needed a mother’s guidance! She’s never really had friends, because she has always been pushed to excel at everything, and that usually put her in the awkward position of being younger than everyone else in her classes. So why don’t you all stop judging her and try to get to know her instead!”

He shrugged off Burt and Dave’s hands and went over to the girl in the corner and pulled the small Jewish girl into his arms, soothing her. The others just stood there in awkward silence, each lost in their own thoughts, so it was a bit surprising when Dave approached them.

“Hey, can I talk to you guys?”

They exchanged a look, and shrugged. “What’s up, Dave?” Kurt asked.

“Um, well, this is kind of embarrassing, but I sort of need advice.” The jock was red in the face.

Once again, Blaine exchanged a look with the pale man. “What kind of advice?” Blaine asked.

“Well, um, I’ve been hiding who I was for so long, I really have no idea about...dating. And well, back in Russia, that Totally Gay Warbler dude slipped me his phone number, and I don’t know what to do!”

Blaine and Kurt exchanged another look, and then turned back to Dave. “Well, did you like him?”

Dave’s blush deepened. “He’s definitely my type, appearance wise, but I really didn’t get a chance to know him, did I? I mean, I don’t even know his name!”

There was a moment of silence, and then both Blaine and Kurt began to laugh. “He didn’t write his name on the paper when he slipped you the phone number?”

“No,” Dave said, sounding miserable. “He handed it to me with the clue.”

“Well,” Kurt said, “As soon as the race is over, you can call and ask him.”

“Call him?” Dave looked like he was about to panic.   


“Yes, Dave, call him. How else will you ever find out his name and learn if he’s someone you’d want to get to know better?”

“Yeah, okay. Thanks, guys.” He walked away, looking like he’d just been handed a prison sentence. Kurt and Blaine just shook their heads and silently wished the jock good luck.

Eventually they all settled down on their cots, and tried to sleep, but none of them really managed more than fits and starts.

…

_ “This scenic overlook, rises 286 metres (938 ft) above sea level, and provides a panoramic view of Townsville and the surrounding landscape. This was the eighth Pit Stop in a race around the world. Five teams remain. Who will be eliminated next? _

_ Burt and Kurt, who were the first to arrive at 11:23 am, will depart at 11:23 pm. _

…

Kurt ripped open the envelope and read the clue aloud. “Fly to Hong Kong!”   


As they waited for the taxis they had called to arrive, they were joined by Blaine and Cooper and Finn and Carole, and once they reached the airport, they went straight to the ticket counter for Qantas Air.

“We need tickets on the earliest available flight to Hong Kong,” Burt said. The woman behind the counter smiled politely and began typing at her computer.

“You’re in luck, there is one leaving in less than an hour. You should have just enough time to make it through security and to the gate.”

“Is there room for all of us?” Blaine asked.

She nodded at him. “Yes, just enough.”

“Great!” Carole said. “When is the next flight?”

“The next flight leaves an hour after yours.”

“That gives us a small jump on the other teams,” Cooper said. “Of course, if the last few legs have been any indication, we’ll have to wait for something to open that will give them the chance to catch up.”

“I doubt it,” Kurt said. “It’s a ten hour flight, and we’re two hours ahead of Hong Kong time, so we’ll land around eight. Most places will be open by then.”

They made it through security, and only had to walk at a brisk pace to reach the boarding area before the flight was announced.

…

_ “Teams are now making their way to Hong Kong on one of two flights. Once they land, they must travel by taxi to Central Harbourfront Event Space, where they will find their next clue.” _

…

“Taxi! Taxi!” Kurt called out, waving his hand, trying to get the driver’s attention. When they pulled over, Kurt showed him the clue. “Do you know this place?”   


The man read the clue carefully, and then nodded. “Get in! I take you!”

They stowed their bags in the trunk and jumped in. It had been an extremely relaxing flight, and they had all slept well, and woke up to a nice breakfast. They had all been feeling rested when they landed, and had been ready to go the moment the doors opened.

The Taxi pulled up at the front of a building, and they spotted the clue box down near the side, next to a path that led to some docks. The other two teams were right behind them as they reached it and took a clue.

“Lead a Dragon Boat Crew in a single lap around the marked buoys in a competitive time to receive your next clue!”

They ran over to the docks where the Dragon Boats were waiting. Kurt chose the green boat, while Blaine picked the blue one that was close to the same color as Kurt’s eyes. Finn and Carole took the yellow one.

After a brief lecture on how to row, and a safety check, they pushed off. It took Kurt a couple of minutes to get the stroke down, but once he got the rhythm, they made good time. They came in with just two seconds to spare. Blaine and Cooper were three seconds under, and Finn and Carole came in just within the limit. All three teams received their clue.

“Travel by Taxi to People of Yunnan Restaurant and receive your next clue!”

They got back in their taxis and gave them the address provided. When they arrived at the restaurant, it was clear it wasn’t yet open for business, but the racers were permitted inside. They found their clues on the hostess stand.

“Roadblock! Who isn’t bugged about trying something different?”

…

_ “People of Yunnan Restaurant is considered a trend setter in this region, serving up traditional regional dishes that aren’t common in Hong Kong. In this Roadblock, one team member must eat a plate of one of Yunnan’s most popular dishes, fried mixed insects. The delicacy includes bamboo bees, silkworm pupae, grasshoppers, crickets, and cicadas.” _

…

“I’ll do it,” Carole said beside Kurt, who was still contemplating the clue.

Finn frowned. “I thought we decided I would do the eating challenges.”

Carole shrugged. “Yes, but you don’t particularly like Chinese food.”

“Okay.”

“I’m going to do it,” Kurt decided. “I don’t want you eating anything too heavy and full of MSG and salt.”

Burt rolled his eyes, but just nodded.

Cooper also chose to do the task, and the three of them sat down together at a table. The owner, a sweet looking woman named Amy Wong, brought out three plates and set one in front of each of them.

For a moment, the three of them just stared at the pile of tiny legs and wings and unidentifiable bits. They glanced at each other, wondering who would take the first bite. It was Kurt who mustered up the courage and picked up...something.

“Jiminy Crickets, it’s just protein, guys.” He popped the deep fried cricket into his mouth and started to chew. It wasn’t as bad as he feared. “It needs something. I don’t suppose I could get some plum sauce to go with it?”

Amy just smiled and placed a small dish of dipping sauce infront of him. The other two began eating as well.

…

_ “I was really surprised, the plate of insects actually didn’t taste too bad, but the plum sauce did help,” Kurt said. “I don’t think it’s something I’ll ever order again, but it was okay.” _

…

“Over there!” Azimio said, spotting the clue box. Rachel and Jesse were already reading their clue when the two jocks reached the box.

“Row a boat?” Dave said. “Sounds easy enough. I’ve gone canoeing before.”

They selected the purple boat, which was the only one left since Rachel had chosen the pink one. After their instruction and safety check, they pushed off. They passed the other team, who had barely spoken to each other since the day before, and weren’t communicating now, which was costing them. The jocks easily maneuvered through the course and finished with almost fifteen seconds to spare.   


…

_ “Those two are gonna self implode if they don’t at least start communicating,” Dave said. _

_ “Yeah, I mean, even when I was mad at Dave for not telling me he was gay, we still communicated,” Azimio added. _

_ “I kind of feel sorry for them, but if it gives us a better chance of winning, I guess I shouldn’t complain.” _

_ ... _

They got their clue and were headed back to the taxi, noticing that Rachel and Jesse had to repeat the course because they didn’t finish in time.

…

“Done!” Kurt said, showing his empty plate to Amy, and receiving the next clue. Finn and Carole had left just a minute before, and Cooper was nearly finished.

“Travel by train to Chengdu, Sichuan Province, China, and then take a taxi to Chengdu Research Base to search for your next clue!” Kurt brushed Blaine’s hand as they headed out to their taxi.

“Can you take us to Hong Kong West Kowloon Station?” Burt asked the driver. As they pulled away from the curb, they spotted Dave and Azimio pulling up. Dave still looked a little distracted, probably from the conversation they’d had the day before. Kurt offered him a smile of encouragement as they passed. Blaine and Cooper were coming out of the restaurant as they turned the corner.

“Where are you going?” the driver asked them.

“We need to go to Chengdu,” Burt showed him the clue.

“You’ll need to travel to Guangzhou South train station and change to the Chengdu train. Make sure you get the train to Chengdu East!”

“Thanks,” Burt said, “We appreciate the information!”

…

“You did great, Coop!” Blaine said as they got their clue.   


“It really wasn’t that bad,” Cooper said, shrugging. “If I closed my eyes I could almost imagine I was eat hash browned potatoes.”

They were in such a hurry, they weren’t particularly paying attention when they got into their waiting cab, and at first didn’t notice that their driver had been replaced by a tall blonde woman in a tracksuit.

“Hello again Young Burt Reynolds, Young Burt Reynolds’ Famous Brother.” The familiar voice had both Andersons pausing as they settled into their cab. The two brothers glanced at each other and for the first time, Cooper narrowed his eyes, suspicious about this woman he had priorly felt was a nice lady.

“I thought you sold train tickets. In Egypt,” Cooper said. Blaine merely nodded. Granted, he hadn’t had much of an interaction of his own with the woman the last time, as she seemed to be more interested in Cooper.

“I am a woman of many trades. Buckle up FlyBoys,” she replied and without warning, peeled around a corner so fast, Blaine felt they were inches from squealing around on a mere two tires. He latched his hands around his brother’s arm, while Cooper grabbed the door handle.

“Are you nuts?” Blaine spit out. Where did this woman learn to drive? He was so distracted, he plumb forgot they had just started driving without even telling her where they were supposed to go. But it almost seemed like she knew what she was doing anyway. Except when it came to actually directing the vehicle.

“Nope!” the woman replied, popping her ‘p’. “That would be my grant-aunt’s sister-in-law’s great nephew’s pet squirrel.” Blaine and Cooper glanced at each other. “The one he got as a payment for being an extra in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Came right off the nut set. Though I think they only gave it to him because his part was cut. As was my scene as a Hong Kong Ambassador.”

The Anderbrothers were completely silent after that. What the hell was this woman even going on about? It was Blaine once again who spoke up.

“There wasn’t a Hong Kong Ambassador in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,” he said.

“Exactly,” the woman replied, squealing around another corner and pulling to a stop. “We’re here! All famous people out! Of course, that must include me.”

Blaine and Cooper were stunned to find themselves where they needed to go, despite not telling the woman. There was only one thought in his mind about this woman. She must be some kind of psycho witch or something. Maybe she was one of Lord Voldemort’s followers.   


“Let’s get out of here,” he whispered to Cooper, wanting to get away before she pulled out a wand.

…

Once they’d gotten their tickets at the train station, Kurt had slipped into the bathroom to brush and floss his teeth. While the plate of fried bugs hadn’t been nearly as bad as he thought, he still felt like he had pieces of grasshopper in his teeth.

“Hey,” Blaine said, spotting him at the sinks. “Your Dad said you were in here. Picking bugs out of your teeth.”

Kurt winced. “It’s those little grasshopper legs. It wasn’t so bad when I was eating them, but now I can still feel them between my teeth.”

Blaine moved closer and inspected Kurt’s mouth. “I think you got them all. I don’t see anything.”

“Are you sure?”

“Well, I can always double check,” Blaine said, and kissed him, sweeping his tongue over his teeth and tongue. The ‘inspection’ went on for several minutes, before the shorter man slowly pulled away. “Mmm, yep, minty clean.”

They kissed again, but before they could take it deeper, an voice came over the PA announcing the arrival of their train. Kurt reluctantly pulled away and grabbed up his travel kit and backpack, hastily stowing away his toothbrush and floss.   


They boarded the train with Burt, Cooper, Finn and Carole. There was no sign of the other two teams. As the others took seats together, Blaine just hustled Kurt past them, mumbling that they’d be back in a little while.   


“Where are we going?” Kurt asked.

“I don’t know yet,” Blaine said, grinning at him over his shoulder. “I bribed the camera crews to give us thirty minutes of alone time, though.”

“You did what?” Kurt said, laughing. The car they were passing through was empty, but this didn’t seem to be enough for the curly haired man, who spotted a set of steps that led up to an observation car, which was also empty. Blaine pulled him down the aisle, to a pair of seats that were far enough from either stairwell to be somewhat private if someone should come up the stairs. Blaine gently pushed Kurt down into one of the comfortable, reclining seats, and leaned in to kiss him. When Kurt tried to wrap his arms around the shorter man, Blaine grabbed them and pinned them down to his sides, and then used the seat belt to keep them there. The pale man whined, but Blaine just deepened the kiss as he began unbuttoning Kurt’s shirt, and pushed the fabric aside. Only then did he break the kiss, only to latch on to one of the pale pink nipples, causing the auburn haired beauty to cry out.

“Quiet!” Blaine hissed, tweaking the other nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

“Blaine!” glasz eyes looked down at him, already blown with arousal. “I want to touch you!”

Blaine shook his head. “Not yet, babe.” He reached down and unfastened those impossibly tight jeans, just managing to free Kurt’s impressively large erection. “I’m hungry. I need some protein,” the darker man whispered into Kurt’s ear, nipping at the lobe, before kissing a hot trail down the column of his throat and over his chest, teasing his belly button, just visible over the seat belt, before moving lower, teasing the head of Kurt’s cock.

Kurt cried out again, but clamped his mouth closed to stifle the noise. Blaine was driving him insane with barely there kitten licks at the sensitive ridge. The darker man pulled back slowly, looking up at him. “Be quiet, or I’ll have to gag you!”

Another whimper escaped the pale man, but he nodded his head. Blaine smirked up at him, before diving forward and engulfing him in the moist heat of his mouth, taking him almost completely to the hilt before pulling back, sucking hard on the head before taking him deep again, going a little deeper with each dip of his head, applying glorious suction on the upward motion.

Kurt was biting his lip to keep from making too much noise, but it was almost too much. He opened his mouth to let out another cry, only to find cloth being shoved into it, gagging him. It must have been Blaine’s bow tie, it was the only thing he could think it could be. He was close to the edge when he felt himself bottom out in the other man’s throat. He’d never felt that before. The only other man who he’d ever done this with before was Adam, who never took him that deep, preferring to use his hand at the base of his cock and only taking him halfway. The feel of Blaine completely surrounding him threw him over the abyss, and he came so hard, he was certain he’d passed out briefly.

When he regained his senses, the gag was gone, his arms had been freed from the seat belt, and Blaine was tucking his now flaccid member back into his pants. “Let me take care of you, please?” Kurt asked, words slightly slurred from pleasure.

Blaine just smiled at him and shook his head. “Not necessary, sweetie.”

Kurt frowned. “You aren’t going to walk back to the others with a stain on your pants again, are you?”

Blaine laughed, and shook his head, leaning back and unfastening his pants, reaching down and slipping off the condom he’d put on earlier, which was now filled with semen. Kurt looked on in shock. “When did you put that on?”

“On the plane, before we landed.”

Kurt was speechless. The words implied that not only had the other man had had every intention of doing this at some time today, but also that he’d been erect enough for hours to keep the condom from slipping off. The thought had Kurt swelling again, but he didn’t have the energy or the time for round two. It was a good thing he had a slight concern.

“Isn’t that kind of hazardous to your health? I mean, think of the warnings on those Viagra commercials,” he said, dead serious. Blaine looked at him for a moment, a part of him restraining the urge to laugh at the concern.

“Sweetie, that’s a medically induced erection. Mine was all natural because all I do is think about you,” he said, leaning up to give Kurt a short peck.

They finished adjusting their clothes, made a quick trip to the nearest bathroom so Kurt could fix his hair and Blaine could dispose of the condom, and returned to the other teams, who pretended they had no clue what the two men had been up to.

As they settled into their seats, Kurt looked at Blaine and whispered so no one else could hear, “You know, I now owe you for two times you made me the center of paradise,” he said with a smirk.

Blaine hummed. “You don’t owe me for anything. My only goal is to keep that gorgeous glowing smile on your face,” he said sincerely.

“Oh Blaine,” Kurt responded, kissing his cheek.

They arrived at the transfer station shortly after, and switched to the other train. Kurt and Blaine snuggled together in one of the bench seats, dozing during the nine hour ride to Chengdu.   


The research base would more than likely be closed when they arrived, which meant the other teams would probably catch up with them, which according to the schedule Kurt had spotted at the transfer station, the next train wouldn’t arrive until seven the next morning.

Kurt was correct, the research base was closed when they arrived shortly after eight pm, and wouldn’t reopen until seven. There was a motel nearby, and the three teams decided to share a room once again. The room had two queen beds and two couches. Burt and Carole took one of the beds, Kurt and Blaine the other, while Finn and Cooper each took a couch. There was no way Kurt and Blaine would get up to anything with the others so close by, but they were content to snuggle close, and sleep in each others’ arms.

…

At seven the next morning, the three teams dashed to the clue box, knowing they had a twenty minute jump on the other teams, who were only just arriving at the train station.

“Detour! Food or Shelter?”

…

_ “In this Detour, teams must choose between two tasks commonly undertaken by the volunteers at Chengdu Research Base. In Food, teams must prepare ten meals for the pandas. Each meal consists of twenty pounds of bamboo, five pounds of apples and carrots, and twenty leafeater biscuits, which are specially designed to provide the extra nutrition needed for the health of the pandas. _

_ “In Shelter, teams must plant thirty bundles of bamboo to provide shade for the pandas, as well as for park visitors.” _

_ … _

“I want to do Food,” Kurt said, reading the clue again.

“I agree,” Carole said. “I think preparing meals would be easier than planting bamboo.”

“Let’s do it,” Cooper said. All three teams quickly made their way to the food station, and following instructions from one of the lead researchers, began prepping the meals.   


They had to cut the bamboo shafts into four foot long portions and weigh out twenty pounds for each food cart, and then add enough apples and carrots to make another five pounds for each cart, and count out twenty of the large biscuits filled with grains, vegetables and vitamins.   


All three teams were nearly finished when Rachel and Jesse arrived. “Where’s Dave and Azimio?” Blaine asked.   


Jesse shrugged. “They took the other detour.”

“Finished!” Carole said, waving the officiate over to check their carts. They were given a thumbs up even as Blaine and Cooper and Burt and Kurt were also calling for a check of their work.

“Make your way on foot to the Pit Stop, The Panda Museum.”

…

_ “The Chengdu Panda Museum is dedicated to educating visitors about the Giant Panda, it’s habitat and life, and how these shy creatures are making a comeback from the brink of extinction. This is the Ninth Pit Stop in a race around the world. The Last team to check in here, will be eliminated!” _

_ … _

“Come on, Mom! Let’s Go!” Finn said, taking her hand and beginning to run. Blaine and Cooper were right behind them, and Burt and Kurt weren’t far behind them. They could see the museum in the distance, but Carole got a stitch in her side and had to slow down, and Blaine and Cooper passed them.

They could see Phil standing at the mat with a tall black woman with blonde hair, wearing a black tracksuit that at first made Blaine think of the strange woman from the cab earlier, and the train station in Egypt. This woman had several gold medals around her neck.

As Blaine and Cooper stepped onto the mat, the woman glared at them. “Welcome to China, you so short you make a little old Hobbit granny look like a giant,” she said, eyeing Blaine up and down.

Phil, who had gotten used to the strange behavior of the greeters this season, didn’t even bat an eyelash. “Blaine and Cooper, you are team number one! As the winners of this leg of the race, you have won a trip for two to Greece, that you can enjoy after the race.”

He waved the other two teams over. “Finn and Carole, you are team number two, and Burt and Kurt, you are team number three!”

…

“I think we’re done!” Azimio said, standing up gingerly from where they’d just patted the soil down around the last bundle of bamboo and wiping his hands off. Dave also stood, waving the officiate over to check their work. After a moment, he nodded and handed them their clue. As they opened the envelope, they could hear Jesse shouting at Rachel that she wasn’t measuring the bamboo correctly.

They looked at each other. They had a chance to stay in the race if the other team was falling apart. They read the clue, and high fived each other as they grabbed up their packs and began jogging to the Pit Stop.

“Dave and Azimio, you are team number four!”

“Yes!” They hugged each other.

…

Phil watched the last team make their way to the mat. On one hand he was relieved that this would be the last time he’d hear the woman’s annoying voice, but on the other hand he felt sorry for her. As annoying as she was, Jesse was just as bad, if not worse.

“Rachel and Jesse, you are the last team to arrive, and you have both been eliminated.”

He’d expected an explosion from the couple but instead, the girl just looked at her feet, while Jesse just shrugged. “Good, now I don’t have to put up with her anymore. I’m so done with this.”

He turned and walked away, ignoring both Rachel and Phil.


	12. Domo Arigato

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second to last chapter of this race guys! The end is near! One more to go! Who do you want to win? xD
> 
> Comments and kudos make us smile!

The rest tent seemed unusually quiet with Rachel and Jesse gone, despite the pleasant chatter and even some singing. Finn had been bummed about Rachel leaving, and they all were trying to cheer him up, even cajoling him into singing for them. They were surprised at his rich voice as he sang  _ I Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore.   
_

With only four teams left, excitement began to grow, as they all began to realize they had a one in four shot of winning the million dollars. At the same time, it felt like everyone’s nerves were heightened and they realized that this next leg, was perhaps the most important leg in the entire race. Whoever came in first, second, and third on this leg, would find themselves secure in the knowledge that at the very least, they could say they had finished The Amazing Race.

Nerves were definitely making people jumpy. And a few of them were throwing caution to the wind. Though this mainly just meant they were letting everything out to have a good time. Even Dave and Azimio were accepted into the fun.

However, later that afternoon, after everyone had finally settled down and curled into their cots to sleep, Kurt was feeling antsy. He and Blaine had pushed their cots together over by a wall of the rest tent, slightly away from the rest of the racers. They wanted just a little bit of privacy, even if it wasn’t much.

Blaine was lying on his side, facing Kurt as the two of them talked quietly, not wanting to disturb anyone who was actually trying to sleep.

“I think this is honestly the most scared I’ve felt the entire race,” the curly haired man admitted. Kurt reached out to grab a hold of his hand and gently squeezed it, a soft smile on his sleepy face. A part of Kurt wanted to just curl up and sleep, but another part of him wanted to spend every waking moment with Blaine, just in case. Anything could still happen in this most crucial next leg.

“I know what you mean,” the pale man replied, raising Blaine’s hand to his lips. “But I’m not scared of the race.”

Blaine was quiet for a beat. He knew exactly what the other man was referring to. Though neither of them were willing to admit it aloud, Blaine was quite sure they were both worried about what would happen to them after the race. He didn’t want to be apart from Kurt and he knew Kurt didn’t want to be apart from him. But what he was most scared about was whether or not he would be able to sleep without the incredible man in his arms.

Kurt leaned forward and pressed a soft chaste kiss to Blaine’s lips. This was one of those moments when those all important three little words were on the tip of his tongue, begging to be let out. But again, he held them back. Not yet. He couldn’t say them. Not yet. Though tonight was the hardest it had been yet to keep himself from uttering them.

Instead, he distracted himself by nuzzling his nose against Blaine’s cheek until the two men found each other’s lips once again. This time the kiss was longer, slow and languid, and all consuming. Kurt couldn’t help the soft moan that left his mouth as they parted. Blaine just knew exactly how to make him feel everything, from the top of his head, down to the tip of his toes.

“We should sleep,” Blaine said after a quiet beat. Kurt nodded. “Big spoon or little spoon?” the curly haired man asked with a smile.

“Big,” Kurt replied.

“Okay.” Blaine turned over onto his other side and Kurt pulled him flush against him, kissing his beautiful tan cheek and holding him ever so close. Blaine hummed contentedly. “Goodnight Kurt,” he whispered in a sleep tinged voice. Kurt couldn’t help but think that Blaine was so adorable when he was drowsy.

Even though he had agreed they should sleep, Kurt’s mind was still teeming and he couldn’t quite settle down and close his eyes, even with this perfect man in his arms. Instead, he was thinking about how much he owed Blaine, for not just one, but  _ two _ times of incredible pleasure. He bit down on his tongue to keep from growling at the thought.

A smirk played on the pale man’s face and he lifted his head, glancing around the rest tent. It seemed that everyone else was fast asleep. So maybe, just maybe, he could get away with this.

Very slowly, Kurt slid his hand down Blaine’s chest. The curly haired man shifted just a bit, apparently not fully asleep just yet, but that was fine by Kurt. he would probably end up waking him up with this anyway.

His hand drifted lower still until it came to rest atop of Blaine’s groin. He could feel the organ through the thin fabric of the other’s sleep pants and Kurt grinned to himself. Blaine shifted again, in such a manner that he pressed himself into Kurt’s palm and the taller man licked his lips. Eyes already adjusted to the dark, Kurt thought he could make out a small dark stain on the front of Blaine’s sleep pants. Pressing a little more of his own accord, told him this incredibly gorgeous man was already erect. Maybe from lying so close to Kurt.

For a moment, the pale man had to marvel at Blaine’s uncanny ability to get so turned on and by the fact that he was the one causing it. He was planning to take advantage of this notion. He pressed again, more firmly into Blaine’s erection, causing the shorter man to let out a moan and shift once more, though he still didn’t wake fully.

He was just lifting his hand to slip beneath the waistband when he heard something and stilled completely, eyes darting around the tent. But it turned out that one of the other racers - he couldn’t make out who - was just turning over in their sleep. Kurt waited several more beats, unsure if he should continue to attempt his daring decision.

Blaine voluntarily thrusting his hips a little forward made the choice for him. Kurt slipped his hand beneath the waistband of the other’s sleep pants. He crept his fingers down, feeling the warm skin beneath them, until he could wrap his hand around Blaine’s cock. He got a little thrill that Blaine had foregone underwear for bed.

The flush organ felt hot in his hand, but pliant and ready. Kurt was tempted to pull down Blaine’s pants to give them a bit more wiggle room, but he decided against it. The last thing he wanted was for everyone else to see what was for his eyes only. Especially if they happened to wake up.

Thinking quickly, the man grabbed the skinny tie he’d been wearing that day and one-handedly, tied it around Blaine’s mouth like a gag. This was what caused the shorter man to open his eyes again and he turned his head to look back at Kurt, who gave him a saucy wink and responded to his unasked question by twisting his hand around his cock and tugging up on the stroke. Blaine gasped, but was effectively muffled by the tie in his mouth. He locked eyes with Kurt who placed a finger to his lips, indicating for silence.

Blaine pressed even more against Kurt, burying his ass into the other man’s groin and Kurt bit down on his lip to keep from letting out a moan of his own. He found himself mentally cursing that he hadn’t prepared like Blaine had. But in his defense, Kurt certainly hadn’t been planning to try and jerk Blaine off in their cots that night.

Keeping his lip between his teeth, Kurt continued his ministrations, pausing only to spit on his hand to make the slide easier and less dry. He didn’t have time to search for the lube. Blaine was letting out sputters around the tie, but was quiet enough that he didn’t seem to be disturbing anyone.

Kurt could feel himself rise to attention as he worked Blaine up, no longer caring if he soiled himself. As long as Blaine would be able to sleep blissfully that night.

Said man threw his head back on Kurt’s shoulder and the latter used his free hand to pull down the gag long enough to kiss Blaine, his tongue swooping into his mouth and his lips muffling the other’s moans.

It wasn’t long after that before Kurt felt Blaine’s hot warm seed spilling over his hand, making a mess in his sleep pants, and over Kurt’s hand as well. Kurt broke the kiss only to extract his hand and start licking it clean, his movements pulling a shudder from Blaine that had the pale man falling over the edge and he spilled himself, a silent scream filling Blaine’s mouth as they kissed through each other’s climax.

“Damn Kurt,” Blaine mumbled in a voice that was tinged with sleep and the sound of arousal successfully satisfied. Kurt pecked his lips a few more times.

“Goodnight honey,” he said sweetly, settling down again and shutting his eyes.

…

_ “Chengdu Panda Museum is the only museum in the world dedicated solely to pandas. This was the tenth Pit Stop in a Race around the world. Four teams remain. Who will be eliminated next? _

_ “Blaine and Cooper, who were the first to arrive at 8:12 am, will depart at 8:12 pm.” _

…

Blaine and Cooper, Finn and Carole, and Burt and Kurt all waited for their turn on the departure mat, with the brothers slated to depart first. The PA gave them the signal, and they ripped open the clue, reading it out loud.

“Fly to Tokyo, Japan!”

“Yes!” Cooper said, “I’ll finally get to practice my Japanese!”

“You don’t speak Japanese, Coop!”

“Of course I do. Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto!” the older brother sang, in a bad Japanese accent.

The other five racers all groaned and rolled their eyes.

Once the other two teams were officially given the go, they raced to the parking lot, where taxis would be waiting for them. They stopped at a travel agency, learning that it would be faster to get a flight if they flew to Guangzhou first, since the first flight from Chengdu wouldn’t depart until nine the next morning. If they flew to Guangzhou, they could make the connecting flight at midnight and arrive in Tokyo around six in the morning.

As they made their way to the airport, Kurt wondered if Dave and Azimio would think to check flights from other cities. If not, they would have a nearly nine hour lead over the other team. His question was answered when Dave and Azimio boarded the plane just before they closed the doors. The jocks looked winded, having most likely run from the security checkpoint. So, they would all be on equal footing to start the penultimate leg.

…

_ “All teams are now traveling to Tokyo, Japan. Once there, they will need to make their way to Nakajima No Ochaya Tea House, where they will find their next clue.” _

…

“I see the clue box!” Blaine said, pointing. “Can you drop us off over there, or do we have to get out here and cross over?”

“I can’t turn in there, sorry, but I can get you a little closer,” their driver said.

“Thank you! Can you wait here for us?”

The older man nodded, and the brothers jumped out, even as Burt and Kurt’s taxi pulled up behind them. They crossed at the crossing, and saw the other two teams pulling up as they reached the other side. They got their clues, reading them out loud.

“Join in on a traditional tea ceremony. Once both team members have drank a cup of tea, you will receive your next clue.”

They were lead to separate rooms, and after taking off their shoes, knelt on pillows. Kurt, who had always loved tea parties as a child, was intrigued by the ritualized process as the young woman bowed to them, and then prepared the tea. Each motion was precise and practiced, and seemed to have some significance, from the exact measuring of the water and the tea leaf, to tapping the spoon exactly three times on the edge of the pot.

…

_ “It reminded me of the tea parties I had with my mom,” Kurt said. “I would watch her as she made the tea just the way I liked it, and she would always serve my favorite molasses cookies. I’d almost forgotten about those parties, but this brought back the memories.” _

_ ... _

Once the tea was prepared, she turned the cup precisely half way around, and presented it to Burt, who drank, and then turned the cup back in exactly the same motion it had been presented to him. She then presented a cup to Kurt, who accepted it with a little bow before drinking, and handing the cup back the way his dad had. She smiled at them, and bowed once more before handing them the next clue.

Blaine and Cooper emerged from their cubicle at almost the same time, and opened the clue.

“Travel by taxi to Shibuya Crossing and search for the Dance Troupe  _ World Order _ to receive your next clue!”

“Shibuya Crossing? Isn’t that the huge intersection with all the lights and billboards?” Cooper asked.

“Yes,” Blaine said, even as Kurt nodded. They ran back to their taxis, even as Finn and Carole emerged from their ceremony with a clue. They didn’t see Dave and Azimio, so had no idea if they were still in the building, or if they’d already left.

They found the busy intersection, which was very crowded at this time of the morning, and at first they didn’t see anyone that looked like they were part of a dance troupe. Kurt did spot a couple walking nearby that he recognized, though.

“I know those two guys!” The pale man said. “I watch their YouTube channel all the time!” He called out to the two men. “Shinichi! Satoshisan!”   


The couple turned when they heard their names called out, and Kurt blushed, realizing these men probably had no clue who he was. “Hi! I love your YouTube channel! I’m DFying Gravity!”

The two men smiled at him. “Hello!” Shinichi said, “you always leave such lovely comments on our videos!”

“You didn’t tell us you were coming to Japan!” Satoshi said.   


Kurt smiled and hugged the two men. “I didn’t know I was coming! We’re racing around the world! This is my dad, Burt, and these are our friends, Blaine and Cooper. My name is Kurt, by the way!”

“Racing around the world?” Shinichi said.   


“Yes, and we’re trying to find a dance troupe called  _ World Order. _ They are supposed to be around here somewhere, to give us a clue to our next destination!”

Shinichi laughed. “They’re right over there. Those men in business suits!”

“Business suits?” Kurt frowned. He thought that was odd attire for a dance troupe, but thanked the couple, and they headed over to the group of men. “Hi, do you have a clue for us?”

One man, who had been leaning against the wall reading a newspaper, stood up straight, and handed them a clue.

“Roadblock! Who wants to Have a Nice Day?”

…

_ “In this Roadblock, one team member must learn a complex series of dance moves, and must perform them with the troupe. Once they have performed to the leader’s satisfaction, they will receive their next clue!” _

_ … _

“I’ll do it,” Blaine said, even as Kurt also proclaimed that he would be doing it. Finn and Carole arrived just then, as well. Carole joined the two young men, who had been led to a nearby building and given suits to change into. Once dressed, they were each lead into a seperate space to learn the steps.

Kurt was a bit dismayed that the dance seemed to be a variation of the Robot dance, but picked up the movements fairly quickly, he just needed to work on his timing, since synchronization was a large part of the dance. After about twenty minutes, in which time Dave and Azimio had arrived, Kurt was ready to attempt the dance.

As the music for  _ World Order’s Have a Nice Day  _ began to play, Kurt slipped into the slow motion portion of the dance. After a minute, the motion picked up speed, and changed into Karate like moves and hand gestures. He was doing well until the end, when he lost his balance, and was sent back to practice a little more.

Blaine made it through the slow motion part, but messed up on the hand gestures, while Carole missed three moves in a row in the intro. Azimio wasn’t ready to try yet, so Kurt made his second attempt, and this time was flawless. He bowed as he received his clue.

He changed his clothes and returned to his dad just as Blaine completed his second attempt, but was told to try again.

Kurt opened the clue, and Burt read it over his shoulder. “Travel by train to Gunma Prefecture, and find your way to the Tone River at the Minakami Onsen, and search for your next clue!”

They flagged down a taxi and had them take them to the train station. After a search of a map of Japan, they found Minakami on the map, and with the help of the gentleman at the ticket counter, found where they needed to go. Blaine and Cooper arrived a few minutes after they got their tickets, but neither of the other two teams had arrived by the time they boarded the train.

…

“That’s good!” The leader of the dance troupe gave Carole the thumbs up after her sixth attempt, and handed her the clue. She laughed and bowed, glad to have managed to finally make it without actually falling on her face.

They opened the clue, and immediately ran for a taxi, just as Azimio also managed to complete the routine and receive a clue. It was apparent when they arrived at the train station that Burt and Kurt and Blaine and Cooper had already departed, as the trains ran every thirty minutes, and they had just missed one by about fifteen minutes.

Dave and Azimio arrived about five minutes before the train was due, but the train was so crowded, they didn’t end up near each other. Neither Carole nor Finn were paying much attention to who was around when they took their seats. It wasn’t until a familiar voice spoke up that they noticed the woman in the tracksuit sitting across the aisle from them.

“Hello again Frankenteen, Frankenteen’s mother,” the woman said. Once more, just like the last time they’d seen her, she was holding a martini glass, which appeared to hold only olives this time, no liquid of any kind. Finn and Carole exchanged looks and this time, Finn remembered something.

“I”m not a teenager,” the man stated.

“That’s right pyramid nipples, keep telling yourself that.” Finn subconsciously looked down at his chest and clamped his arms across it, while Carole’s eyes became round as saucers, appalled at the woman’s language. Where did she even get off talking to people like this?

“Excuse you?” Carole Hudson said.

The woman pulled a card out, upon which was written,  _ Sue Sylvestor, Queen to the Kingdom of Insults. No pictures please. My scowl will happily break your camera. _ Carole sat in stunned silence as she read the card. She couldn’t help but want to be straight and tell this woman that there was no such place.

“Actually, I think the woman at the last Pit Stop was better,” Finn stated, causing Sue to glare at him.

“You take that back!” she dared him, while simultaneously vowing to put a stop to this woman who apparently was after her crown. Finn didn’t get a chance to reply because she went on. “It just so happens my great-grandmother’s brother’s niece married a prince right here in Japan! That makes me Japanese royalty!”

This became one of those rare moments Finn showed that he could be smart if he wanted to be. “Just because she married a prince here, doesn’t mean you have royal authority here.”

Sue let out a growl and threw her whole martini glass full of olives in his face. “Now that’s a dry Martini! I’m watching you Frankenteen. Mark my words. You’ll. Be. Sorry.” With that, she dropped the glass on the floor and stomped away from the Hudsons.

…

Burt and Kurt and Blaine and Cooper reached Minakami Onsen, and found the clue box near the river.

“Detour, Stand or Fall!”

_ … _

_ In this Detour teams must choose between two adventure activities. In Stand, teams must negotiate a half mile stretch of river while balancing on paddle boards. If a team member falls off, they must both return to the start point and try again. _

_ “In Fall, teams must climb a thirty foot waterfall. Though it is a short climb, the terrain is slippery, and teams may find it difficult to find their footing. _

_ … _

“We’ve actually climbed a waterfall before,” Blaine said, reading both detour clues carefully. “I think we should do that one.”

Kurt frowned, the memory of slamming into the castle wall still fresh in his memory. “I think I’d rather take my chances on the paddle board.”

Blaine smiled at him, and leaned over to kiss his cheek. “Go for it! Good Luck, and we’ll see you at the Pit Stop!”

Kurt laughed and watched the brothers as they followed the path to the Fall task, before turning to follow the other marked route. Once they’d been outfitted in safety gear and given some instruction on the use of the paddle board, they were lead to the start point. Burt was the first one out, and at first he seemed to be doing well, but once Kurt had made his way out on the board, his dad had started to wobble, and as soon as he hit the first small rapid, he fell off. They both had to go back to the start.

…

Blaine glanced up the section of waterfall they were intended to climb, and began to have a few doubts. It was much steeper than the waterfall he and his brother had climbed when Blaine was nine. Or to be more precise, Blaine had climbed the waterfall to try to get his parents’ attention, after his brother had taunted him into it, and Cooper had climbed up after him to drag him back down after he got stuck three quarters of the way up. Of course their parents had praised Cooper for being a hero for rescuing Blaine, despite the fact that Blaine had never been in any real danger.

“Are you sure about this, Squirt?” The older Anderson brother asked. “You didn’t pick this detour just to prove something to Mom and Dad, did you?”

He thought about it for a moment. Had that been why he wanted to do this challenge? Maybe a little, he admitted to himself. But it wasn’t the only reason. Blaine loved challenging himself, and this would be a real challenge, not only of his abilities physically, but also mentally.   


“I’m done trying to prove myself to them, or anyone else. Maybe they are the ones who need to prove themselves to me. I’m doing this for me, and no one else.”

Cooper smiled at him. “Finally! You figured it out!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Blaine said, looking at the other man.

“Do you know why I went into acting?”

Blaine shrugged. “I always thought it was another way for you to stroke your own ego.”

Cooper frowned a little at that, but then let out a little sigh. “Okay, I have to admit that was part of it. But mostly it was because I got fed up with the way Dad seemed to have my life mapped out for me. He’d picked my career, my style of dress, and I suspect he’d also picked out the girl he wanted me to marry. I finally decided that I was tired of letting him live my life for me. I decided I needed to live my life my way, and I didn’t need to prove anything to anyone.”

Blaine smiled at his older brother, finally feeling like they understood each other completely. “Then let’s kick this thing out, and go win a million dollars!” They shared a fist bump, and began the climb.

…

“Damn it!” Kurt swore. They had made it almost half way when Kurt had barely bumped a log and lost his balance, falling into the river again. This would be their fifth failure, and he had been responsible for three of those. On the plus side, they had made it a little further each time.

“Don’t worry about it, Kiddo,” Burt said as they carried the boards and paddles back to the start. “We’re doing just fine, we’ll get through this, and you’ll see Blaine again at the Pit Stop. Just do me a favor? Wait until I’m asleep before you two get up to anything this time.”

Kurt stopped in his tracks. “You heard that?”

“I wasn’t the only one. Carole did as well. Fortunately everyone else was asleep.”

Kurt looked at his dad, an expression of disbelief on his face. “And just what were the two of you doing awake?”

Burt looked at his son. “You aren’t the only one with a libido.”

…

_ “I may be old, but I ain’t dead. I guess Kurt and I aren’t so different after all. And You can bet I’m gonna embarrass the hell out of him talking about old people sex.” _

_ ... _

Kurt’s jaw hit the ground. “Barthalamew Edison Hummel, you better marry that woman and make an honest woman out of her!”

Burt grinned. “I already asked her. She said yes.”

Kurt hugged the older man, and they hurried back to the start point.   


…

“Careful there, Squirt,” Cooper called up to him as Blaine’s foot slipped, causing him to slip back a few feet. Fortunately, he managed to hold on to the hand grip he’d found, and pulled himself back up.

“I’m fine,” He called out, looking down at the blue eyed Anderson. They were almost to the top now, only a couple yards left, but Blaine’s arms were burning from the effort. He needed a moment to catch his breath.

“Take your time, Blaine. Don’t try and rush it. Slow and steady wins the race!”

The curly haired man appreciated the show of support from his brother, and was glad he had come on the race with him after all. They had grown closer over the past twenty some odd days, and now were so close to finishing this adventure, and he couldn’t imagine doing this with anyone else. Unless it was Kurt.

…

_ “I didn’t think my brother and I could have so much in common,” Blaine said. “I’ve learned so much about him on this race, and even more about myself. It doesn’t matter if others don’t approve of me. This is who I am, and if they can’t see that, then they’re no longer worth my effort!” _

_ ... _

The thought of the pale man filled him with a renewed strength, and he began pulling himself up again, reaching the top, and turning back to pull his brother up the last few feet. They hugged each other, and got their clue.

…

“We did it!” Burt shouted as he and Kurt reached the buoy that marked the end of the course. They paddled ashore and collected their clue.   


“Race on foot to the Pit Stop, the hot spring at Minakami.”

They began to run back towards the trail to where they left their packs, spotting Finn and Carole at the start point. Kurt ran over to them and hugged Carole. “I couldn’t pick a better stepmom!”

She laughed and hugged him back, as Finn looked on in confusion. Kurt didn’t stick around to explain though, as he and his dad snatched up the bags and beelining for the Pit Stop, passing Dave and Azimio, who were just arriving.

…

_ “Minakami Onsen, or Hot Spring, is one of hundreds of such pools found in Japan. The natural hot springs are thought to have healing powers, and many traditional bath houses have been built around them. This is the final Pit Stop in a race around the world. The last team to check in here, will be eliminated!” _

…

“Where’s the greeter?” Phil asked, as Marley signaled that teams were approaching.   


Marley looked harried as she spoke into her walkie talkie, inquiring about the greeter. Frowning at the reply, she looked at Phil. “Becky is on her way, but insists on bringing her new ‘friend,’ who no one seems to have met yet. Says she’ll only do it if her friend can be here with her.”

Phil just shrugged. The tiny blonde girl with Down Syndrome had seemed like the most normal greeter they’d had all season, and had been very sweet when Phil had spoken to her earlier in the refreshment tent and offered her a cupcake. It sounded like the girl wanted to bring an imaginary friend to the mat with her.

“That’s fine. She can bring her ‘friend.’”

Except when the girl reached the mat, the ‘imaginary’ friend was an all too real woman, wearing a red tracksuit.

Before Phil could ask who the woman was, two teams came into view. The Anderson brothers were just a few feet in front of the Hummel men. All four men stopped short of the mat, though, as they spotted the tall blonde woman.

“What the actual fuck?” Kurt let slip and the other three men stared at him.

“Kurt Elizabeth Hummel!” Burt exclaimed, more out of surprise than actual anger. His son paid his exclamation no mind as a hand went to the pocket he still kept that broach in. After the woman had given it to him, he’d kind of taken it on as his lucky charm. It worked up until this point. He remembered though, his dad had only met this woman once.

“No,” Blaine commented after a moment, shaking his head. “He’s right. What is she doing here?”

Kurt looked to Blaine and his brother in astonishment. “You mean you’ve seen her too?” he asked.

Blaine and Cooper both nodded.   


“Twice,” Cooper commented.

Becky stood there, wearing a cheerleading outfit, with a whistle around her neck, holding a bullhorn in one hand, exactly the same as the woman in the tracksuit beside her.

“Let’s go slowpokes!” Becky yelled through the bullhorn. “My cupcakes are melting!”

“Good form Becky, good form,” Sue said. The woman raised her own bullhorn. “Hey Baboon Heart, Famous Brother, step back and let the epicness that is Klaine win!”

Phil looked over at the strange woman for a moment and frowned slightly. “That’s not how it works,” he tried to tell her.

“Hey kiwi,” she yelled through the bullhorn right at him. “Zip it! You think this is hard? Try being screwed over by Olivia Newton John! That’s hard!”

Becky decided to punctuate her new friend’s words by slapping the host on the ass, and Phil immediately decided in his head that maybe this girl was the worst of the greeters.

“Oh, and by the way,” Becky yelled through her own bullhorn. “I want to run this race next time!”

Phil swallowed and tried not to show himself as too shaken. He again, beckoned the teams forward. Still somewhat shaken by the events, it took the teams a moment to notice. Blaine was the first to realize that none of them had stepped on the mat yet, and stepped cautiously forward, pulling his brother with him. Kurt shook his head to clear it, and also stepped on the mat with his dad.

“Blaine and Cooper, you are team number one! As the winners of this leg, you have won a trip for two to Hawaii, which includes a helicopter tour of the volcanoes. You can enjoy that after the race. This also means that you will be one of the final three teams racing for the finish line and one million dollars!”

He turned to the other team. “Burt and Kurt, you are team number two! And you are also one of the three teams that will be racing to the finish!”

The four men hugged each other, still completely aware of the strange woman watching each of them like a vulture. They were grateful when the PA showed them off the mat and to the rest tent.

…

Finn cursed as he fell into the water for the seventh time, coming up coughing and spitting out water.

“Are you okay, sweetie?”

Finn shook his head as they pulled the boards out of the water and headed back to the start. His concentration had been shot ever since Kurt had mentioned the word ‘stepmom.’

“Are you going to marry Burt?” He asked as they made their way along the trail.

Carole smiled. “He asked me night before last. I said yes!”

“When were you going to tell me?”

“When we finished this leg of the race. I didn’t want to throw off your concentration. Are you mad?”

“No, not at all!” Finn said, smiling at her. “I guess it’s just a shock, that’s all. So sudden. You haven’t even known him a full month yet.”

She laughed. “I know, but it just feels right, you know? Don’t get me wrong, I loved your dad dearly, but Burt just makes me feel kind of special, you know?”

Finn stopped and pulled her into his arms for a hug. “You are special, and I’m glad he makes you realize that. All I want is for you to be happy, mom!”

She hugged him back. “I’ve always been happy, Finn. How could I not with a son like you?”

…

_ “Finn keeps saying that he wants to make sure I’m happy and taken care of, and that’s why he wants to win the race. What he’s never really understood was that I’ve been happy with our life. Yeah, there were days I came home and cried on my pillow because I was tired and ached so much, but then Finn would be there in the morning, smiling at me, and I’d forget why I had been crying. He’s always been my best friend, and my reason for existing. I care about Burt a lot, and I’m so lucky I found him, but even if I hadn’t, I would die knowing that I had lived the best life I could have, because of Finn.” _

As they reached the start point, they could see Dave and Azimio just passing the halfway point. This time they seemed to have better luck, and made it through the course, only a few minutes behind the jocks, who had completed the course as well and had received their clue.

They ran full out, trying to catch up to the two men, determined not to give up until the very end.

They were so focused on getting to the mat, they didn’t at first notice that the jocks had almost comically fallen over each other trying to stop their momentum when they spotted the familiar tracksuit clad woman, landing on the mat on their knees, at her feet.

The woman in the tracksuit glanced down at the two jocks, and nodded her head to Becky. The girl raised the whistle and blew it so hard the two jocks covered their ears.

“Well if it isn’t the bear cub and daddy’s boy,” the woman snarled. She raised the bullhorn once more and glanced down at them. “You’re late.”

Finn and Carole had only just approached when they took note of the situation. But the fact that they were last was not the first thing the mother and son team realized.

“You!” Finn shouted, pointing a finger at the woman.

“Careful Frankenteen,” she responded. “Every time you point a finger at someone, there are always three fingers pointing back at you.” She glanced down at the jock team. “Oh look, guess you and your Frankenteen mother are last. I told you, you’d be sorry.”

“Wait,” Dave said. “You guys have encountered her too?”

“Yeah,” Finn said. “Twice. Once on the ferry from Sochi, and again just a little while ago on the train! When did you run into her?”

The two jocks seemed reluctant to reply. Sue cackled. “Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber were taking a piss behind the train station in Luxor. I merely pointed out that they seemed so secure in their masculinity, despite having such limited equipment to work with.”

Phil looked at the woman. “Who are you, anyway? And why have you apparently been showing up everywhere the racers have gone?”

“I’m not at liberty to divulge that information, and now, it’s time for me to take my leave! Becky! Let’s go!” And the woman tossed something down on the mat that made a loud popping noise. Smoke began to issue from whatever it was she had thrown, causing the five people standing there to cough and try and wave away the foul smelling cloud. When it dissipated, the mysterious woman and the girl were gone.

They were all stunned into silence for a moment, before Phil seemed to recall there was still a task to perform. “Dave and Azimio, You are team number three, and will be racing for the million dollars!”

The two jocks just shared a weak high five, still in shock from the events of the last few minutes.

“Finn and Carole, I am sad to tell you you are the last team to arrive, and you have both been eliminated.

Carole nodded. “It’s okay. We’ve found something that is worth much more than the million dollars. We’ve met some very special people, made wonderful new friends, and for me, a second chance at love.”   


Phil shook their hands, truly sad to see them go.


	13. We've Come So Far

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! The final stretch of the race! Who will win it all? Read on through the epic final leg and race home!
> 
> Now, if you finish this chapter and are begging for more, my co-author has the first two chapters of our sequel (that's right SEQUEL!!) posted on her fanfiction.net! She's under the same username over there. So be sure to stop by if you can't wait for the epicness to continue! It will be featuring new countries, new partners, new teams, and more of the twists that have at one point been a part of The Amazing Race! You won't want to miss it!
> 
> Comments and kudos make us smile!

The final three teams settled into their last Pit Stop with varying degrees of nervousness and excitement. Blaine was fidgety all evening, and almost jumped out of his skin when Cooper asked him if he wanted something from the refreshment tent.

“What’s up, Squirt? You’re as tense as a cobra about to strike!”

The hazel eyed man sighed and tried to relax. “Sorry, just final three jitters, I guess. This is it, one of us is about to win a million dollars!”

“Well, yeah,” Cooper shrugged. “A million dollars is just the icing on the cake, though. This was more about getting some recognition for our careers, getting our names out there.”

Blaine was quiet for a moment, pulling his legs up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them, staring across the tent in a manner that suggested that he was zoning out and not paying much attention to anything at all.

The curly haired man knew he and Cooper didn’t need the money. Part of this for him was about the adventure. He didn’t even really care whether they won or not. Blaine had never been the type of person who was bothered about winning or losing. For him, it was more about having fun and enjoying himself while doing it. Cooper on the other hand, he would expect some kind of win out of this, because that was just who he was. He knew that his brother wanted the exposure.

He spotted Burt and Kurt coming back in from the refreshment tent. The pale man smiled at him, and waved. Blaine smiled back. He knew that Burt’s garage was his main source of income, and that since his health problems, he hadn’t been able to do as much work as he used to. If anyone deserved to win that money, it was the Hummels.

Cooper followed his brother’s gaze to the man and his son and then gave Blaine a serious look, an expression that wasn’t a normal one for Cooper Anderson to be wearing. “Have you told him?” he asked.

Blaine’s attention flew back to his brother. “Told him what?”

“Who our parents are?” Cooper stated, not even sure why he phrased it as a question. “That you have a trust fund,” he added.

The younger Anderson was quiet for a moment. “I...I can’t,” he finally said. He wrapped his arms tighter around himself. His brother looked at him.

“Why?” he asked. “If he means that much to you, don’t you think you can trust him?”

Again, Blaine was quiet for a moment. “I know that I can trust him,” he said. “I just…” He paused, searching for the right words and then glanced at his brother. “I’m afraid he’ll feel like he can’t trust me if he found out. I mean, our dad is a Republican state senator who has no qualms pushing the traditional marriage agenda in the public eye.”

Cooper glanced at the other man. “Do you really think he’ll care who dad is? Or are you worried that he’ll only want you for your money? Because, somehow, I find that extremely hard to believe. He lives in New York, works at Vogue, and from what I’ve overheard, hangs out with many wealthy and famous people. He may not have much money, but he seems to know the value of what he earns. Unlike Mother dear, who has no qualms spending a fortune on a vase (pronounced vaH se) to place on a shelf and never be touched again, but throws a fit when a women’s shelter asks her for a donation.”

Blaine sighed. “Do you remember what happened with Jeremiah? And Eli?”

Cooper scoffed. “You think Kurt can be paid off? That he’d take dad’s money and run like those two idiots? You know, I tried to warn you about Jeremiah, that he was just using you. And Eli? That guy was never going to commit. Kurt isn’t anything like either of them. Talk to him. I think he might just surprise you!”

Blaine was quiet again for another moment, contemplating and biting his lip as his eyes drifted back to Kurt. Kurt who was glowing with laughter as he chatted with his dad about something. He looked so beautiful when he was happy. His gorgeous glasz eyes sparkled and twinkled in a way Blaine had never seen in any other boy he’d ever been interested in. Kurt was the sweetest person the curly haired man had ever met in his life.

He was quiet for another beat, before he unwrapped himself from his bunched position and stood up. Cooper was right. Also, there was the fact that if he kept letting this bother him, it could affect his ability to run the race and this was not the time to be off his game. Sure, he didn’t think they needed the million dollars, but that was no excuse not to run his best race.

“You’re right. If I don’t say something, it’s going to keep me distracted in a not so good way,” he admitted. He tugged down on his polo shirt, disregarding the fact that it had come untucked as he sat hunched on himself.

Cooper watched his brother walk off toward the other man. Even if Blaine hadn’t admitted it to him, he knew that Kurt was already his younger brother’s everything. There was no doubt in Cooper Anderson’s mind that Kurt was the one for Blaine. He could see it in the way they looked at each other.

The older Anderson said nothing as Blaine left, nodding his head, though he was unsure whether Blaine had noticed.

“Kurt?” Blaine said quietly, approaching the Hummel men. He watched those glasz eyes turn their shine on him. And the fleeting smile that bloomed across the pale man’s face, had him melting so much, he had to drop onto a nearby cot to keep his knees from buckling.

Burt gave the two a knowing look, winked at his son, and excused himself, saying something about writing a letter to his brother. Given how awkward the timing was, Kurt knew it was just a made up excuse, but said nothing.

“Hi Blaine,” the pale man said enthusiastically. He gently sat beside the other on the cot as Blaine stared for a moment at the floor, trying to collect his thoughts. Kurt gave him a concerned look. “Everything okay?”

Blaine finally looked up at him again. “Yes, I’m sorry,” he said with a nervous chuckle. Kurt looked even more concerned. Blaine went on, before he could lose his nerve. “Kurt, I have to tell you something,” he added.

Kurt slid just a little bit closer to the man and reached out to take one of his hands in his. “What’s wrong sweetie?” he asked gently.

The curly haired man let out a sigh. Kurt was so wonderfully incredible. He couldn’t imagine his life without him anymore. So he hoped this wouldn’t make Kurt run.

“I need to talk to you about…” He paused, biting his lip. Kurt just looked at him, hoping to entice him to move forward with whatever he was meaning to say. “My dad,” he finally finished, refusing to look at the other man, scared about what might come next. He knew now that he would have to explain his dad to Kurt and then he would know whether the other man would run.

But when Kurt responded, it wasn’t what Blaine had been expecting.

“You mean Senator Richard Anderson?” he asked, causing the curly haired man to look up at him in surprise. Kurt wasn’t from Michigan. How did he know who his dad was?

“You know who my dad is?” he asked in stunned surprise.

Kurt sighed, and gripped Blaine’s hand just a little bit tighter than he already was. “My dad has considered running for congress,” he admitted. Blaine looked at him stunned. “Glee wasn’t popular at my high school. No one but my teammates and my teacher really cared about the arts. So when some of the politicians were talking about cutting art programs if they won the chair, my former Glee teacher asked my dad if he might consider running.”

Blaine was even more surprised by this information. “Did he accept?” he asked. Kurt nodded his head.

“He plans to announce his candidacy when we get home after the race. But he’s been studying some of the other politicians, current big names and such.”

Blaine cringed. That meant that not only did Kurt know who his dad was, but he also knew what was on the man’s agenda.

“If you want to run, I understand,” he said, tearing his eyes away from Kurt and pulling his hand free, if only to grip the cot tightly.

It dawned on Kurt at that moment why this was bothering Blaine so much. He quickly grabbed the other’s hand again, prompting Blaine to look back at him. And when he spoke, it was with that gentle way that always made Blaine feel like he was so important to Kurt.

“Is that what you’re worried about? That because you’re the son of a politician who promotes traditional marriage, I want to run and hide?” Blaine swallowed gently, and slowly nodded his head. Kurt didn’t miss a beat, as he leaned in and very softly captured Blaine’s lips with his own in a short but sweet kiss. “There is nothing in the world that could ever make me abandon you Blaine,” he said afterwards. “I don’t care who your father is. You have more than proven that you’re nothing like him. And if he’s more worried about who you’re dating ruining his campaign for reelection, than that’s his problem. Not yours, or mine, or anyone else’s. You deserve to be happy Blaine. You deserve to be given the world. And I’m not going to stop trying to do that for you.”

The speech was probably the closest Kurt had come to uttering those three little words without actually saying them. But he still couldn’t. Not yet. He wanted to wait for the perfect moment. And he was pretty sure that perfect moment was fast approaching.

Kurt grabbed Blaine’s other hand and squeezed them both. Blaine smiled at him.

“How are you even real?” Blaine asked softly, prompting the other man to chuckle and kiss him again.   


…

_ “Minakami Onsen, in Gunma Prefecture, is a natural Hot Spring surrounded by lush woodlands, and was the final Pit Stop in a race around the world. Which of the three teams remaining will win The Amazing Race? _

_ “Blaine and Cooper, who were the first team to arrive at 5:17 pm, will depart at 5:17 am.” _

…

Blaine was shaking so bad when the PA gave them the signal, he almost dropped the clue trying to open it.

“Fly to Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada!”

Burt and Kurt, who would be leaving a minute after them, smiled as they listened to the brothers read the clue. This was it, the home stretch. Once the Hummels were given the go ahead, they ran to the taxis waiting nearby. They had a thirty eight minute lead on Dave and Azimio, and hoped to keep it.   


They had the driver take them to the train station, where they purchased tickets to Matsumoto, the closest international airport. While waiting for the train, Blaine bought Kurt a Grande Nonfat Mocha at the Starbucks next door.   


“You know my coffee order?” Kurt asked, surprised, as it had been at least three weeks since he’d mentioned it.

“Of course,” Blaine replied, smiling at him as he took a sip of his own medium drip.

…

_ “Blaine is so thoughtful,” Kurt said, a slightly dopey grin on his face. “I mentioned back in Egypt that I wanted a Grande Nonfat Mocha, and he remembered. I’ve never known a guy who remembered such small details before. It made me feel so special that he would remember something like that. Like he really knows me so well.” _

_ ... _

Once in Matsumoto, they found tickets on the earliest possible flight to Vancouver. They lucked out, getting the last available seats. The next flight, if Dave and Azimio managed to get tickets on it, was scheduled to arrive forty five minutes after the first.

…

_ All three teams are now flying to Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. Once there, they must search Stanley Park for their next clue. _

_ ... _

They didn’t relax until they were in the air. It would be their longest flight of the race, almost twenty two hours, with two connections. They ate three meals on the flight, and Kurt and Blaine shared bites with each other, and when the lights were dimmed so people could sleep, they made out like teenagers, and fell asleep holding each other.

Once they were on the ground the following morning at dawn, the race was back on, and they made a dash for the taxis, giving the drivers the address for Stanley Park that was included in their clues.

Once at the spacious park, they searched the area, and found the clue box near the totem poles.   


“Assemble the totem pieces provided in the proper order, and your next clue will be revealed.”

They found the piles of totem parts and began to figure out the order to put them in. Their were fifteen different pieces, and it took them a little while to figure out the pattern. Blaine and Cooper were the first finished, and once the final piece was placed, a hidden compartment in the bottom piece popped open, revealing the envelope inside.

As Cooper read the clue, Blaine showed Kurt and Burt what the finished totem looked like, which allowed them to finish a minute later.

“Take a marked car and drive to Sea to Sky in Squamish.”

Laughing, they all raced for the marked cars on the other side of the park. Blaine and Cooper reached them first, but Burt and Kurt were the first ones to pull out. The drive was a little more than two and a half hours long, and when they arrived at their destination, they were in awe of the beauty that surrounded them. The verdant wilderness seemed to go on forever, and once they boarded the gondola to the top they could see for miles around.

They found the clue box almost as soon as they reached the top.

“Roadblock! Who has an eye for detail?”

…

_ “In this Roadblock, one team member must cross Sky Pilot Suspension Bridge. Once on the other side, they will encounter dozens of actors dressed in costumes similar to the ones worn by the Pit Stop Greeters in each country. They must identify the ones wearing the exact outfits the greeters wore, and receive a postcard. If they have correctly identified the outfits, their postcards will spell out their next destination.” _

…

“I’ll do it!” Kurt and Blaine said almost simultaneously. The two men raced across the bridge, and searched for the costumed actors.

“The lady in Argentina was the only one really wearing something culturally specific,” Kurt said, searching the dozen women wearing similar outfits.

“I don’t think I was really paying attention to what any of them were wearing,” Blaine admitted. “Except that Starchild guy, and I only noticed him because he was looking at you like you were a sweet he wanted to eat.”

Kurt blushed. “Let’s work together. I remember all of them.” He pointed to a woman dressed in a traditional Argentinian dress with a blue skirt, a red shawl over a white blouse, a red sash around the waist, hair adorned with yellow and red roses and ribbons. “That’s the outfit from Argentina.”

He walked over to the young woman. “Do you have a postcard for us?”

The woman smiled and handed each of them a postcard. Whether it was the correct postcard was yet to be determined.

The second outfit was easy to remember. “That woman had horrid taste in clothes,” Kurt observed, asking the actress in the grey suit over a black floral print blouse for a postcard.

The third costume was a little harder. “I remember he was dressed as a Priest of Osiris, and had a leopard skin over his shoulder, but was the sash brown or red?” After a moment lost in thought, he chose the red, and they had their third postcard.

“Now the guy in Italy had on that amazing Versace suit, that unfortunately didn’t fit him well,” Kurt said as he asked for the fourth postcard.

“France was that odd blonde girl in the hippie dress and those fringed suede boots I would kill to have, and she had daisies in her hair.” The fifth postcard was handed over.

“Switzerland,” Kurt thought out loud. “She wore a red velvet gown like you’d see at a ren faire, but she made it look authentic, and not like something some amature threw together.” A sixth postcard was passed over.

“Russia was the Warblers, but did that count as a Pit Stop?” He wondered, even as he accepted the postcard.

“Starchild was India,” Blaine said, locating the actor in the steampunk attire, and they received another postcard.

“That blonde floozie who reeked of gin who tried to grope my dad was wearing something pink, but I was kind of distracted trying to peel her off of him, I’m not a hundred percent positive what exactly it was supposed to be. A Cowgirl dress, maybe?” They collected another postcard.

“China was that woman who looked like a darker skinned version of that crazy lady who showed up everywhere we went, except she was wearing a black tracksuit.”

“And last was that crazy lady and the blonde girl who pinched my butt and called me Gay Blaine as I was walking off the mat,” the darker man said.

“She didn’t?” Kurt said, trying not to laugh, as he found a young girl in the same cheerleading outfit as the last greeter.

“She did. Whispered that I was Hot Stuff, and offered to make me straight.”

“What did you tell her?”

“I told her I was already taken!”

Kurt was momentarily stunned by the admission and what it implied, and grabbed the other man by the face and planted a short hard kiss on his lips. “Yes, you are!”

It wasn’t a declaration of love, and it wasn’t really defining their relationship, but they both understood that it was a commitment to talk about their future when the race was over.

They rushed back to the marked off area near the bridge and arranged their postcards.

“Portland, Oregon!” They read after unscrambling the letters. They hugged and then ran to the officiate back on the other side of the bridge. They told him what they had unscrambled, and he smiled, nodding as he gave them their clues.   


They ran back over to their partners and opened the clue.   


“Fly to Portland, Oregon, and search for your next clue at the Historic 1918 Frank J. Cobb House.”

They were nearly to the bottom of the gondola ride when Blaine spotted Dave and Azimio in another gondola, on the way up to begin the roadblock. Their flight must have landed early.

…

Azimio spotted the other two teams coming down from the top of the mountain as they were riding up, and couldn’t help feeling frustrated knowing they were so close, but still so far behind that unless some kind of miracle happened, there was little chance of them catching up, let alone winning.

Once they reached the top and got their clue, he was feeling antsy. “I’ll do it,” he said, once they’d read the hint. Dave just nodded and handed him the rest of the clue. He groaned when he read it. “Damn it, maybe I should have let you do this one!”

Dave just laughed. “Come on, Az, you can do this!”

The dark man just mock glared at him. “When you call me Az, it sounds like ‘Ass.’”

“I know,” Dave said, winking at him, causing the other jock to smack him playfully on the arm.

“When this race is over, we’re getting you laid!” Azimio said, and marched across the suspension bridge.

...

Blaine and Cooper and Burt and Kurt drove back to Vancouver, just barely staying within the speed limit, knowing the other team wasn’t as far behind as they hoped. They just barely managed to get on the next flight to Portland, as it had been overbooked, but a group of senior travelers didn’t show up, and they were given their seats.

It was common practice by now that Kurt and Blaine sat together, while Burt and Cooper usually sat either behind or in front of them. This time the older males were in front of them.   


As the plane began to taxi to the runway, they held hands, and Kurt noticed a glint in the shorter man’s eye, but before he could ask about it, the force of acceleration pushed him back in his seat. Once they leveled out, the curly haired man leaned over and whispered in his ear.   


“I’m having naughty thoughts.”

Kurt arched an eyebrow. “Oh? Do tell?”

“Well, Sebastian once said that you’d never join the mile high club, because no one would ever want to have sex with you, and well, we both know that’s not true.”

“Are you suggesting what I think you are suggesting?”

Blaine just grinned. Kurt unfastened his seat belt and stood, having to practically straddle Blaine, who was in the aisle seat. He leaned in and whispered into the curly haired man’s ear. “Come find me in two minutes.”

He then sashayed down the aisle to the aft bathroom. Blaine stared after him with wide eyes for just a moment, before he noticed he wasn’t the only one.

After two minutes had passed, he got up to follow and half barked, half growled at the young man who had been ogling Kurt’s ass just a moment before, an action that made the guy shrink in his seat and hopefully spelled out that Kurt was taken.

A smug look on his face, Blaine glanced both ways before slipping into the small plane bathroom he had made sure to watch Kurt enter a moment before. He shut the door behind him, sliding the lock shut.

Kurt wasted no time launching himself at him, attaching his lips to Blaine’s. Blaine backed him only two steps until Kurt felt the small of his back hit the counter. Blaine contemplated how he wanted to do this. He could lift Kurt up on the counter, which would make him about the right height just to slip in, but then his eyes rested on the mirror behind the other man and the curly haired man smiled to himself.

Breaking the kiss, Blaine gently flipped Kurt around so that he was facing the counter. Kurt let out a moan as Blaine latched his lips onto the other man’s neck.

“Blaine…” Kurt got out. The darker man grinned against his skin, not having any qualms about sucking a hickey into Kurt’s delicate, pale skin.

“I want us both to see everything,” Blaine whispered, his breath hot on the fresh bruise, which he licked a stripe across, causing Kurt to shudder.

“Blaine, baby, we need to hurry. It’s not that long of a flight,” he reminded him.

A growl left the curly haired man’s lips and he pulled Kurt’s pants down, along with his underwear, marveling at those perfect globes of that perfect ass. His fingers trailed lightly over the smooth skin before he found the bottle of travel lube he always kept in his pocket these days.

Working quickly, but gently, Blaine poured some lube into his hands, warmed it together and started to work Kurt open, with the pale man moaning beneath him.

“Shhh, sweetie,” Blaine said. “We don’t want the other passengers to hear you now, do we?” He chuckled as he worked the taller man open, watching the pleasure crossing Kurt’s face through the mirror and God, it was so hot. Blaine could feel himself pressing against his pants, begging to feel the warmth he knew Kurt’s hole would surround him in. That gorgeous gaping pucker was so pliant to his touch and he couldn’t wait to fill it with himself.

Kurt tried to stay quiet, but he was proving incapable of doing so. Blaine learned one thing for sure in these moments. This man that he had fallen for, was definitely a screamer. He brought his free hand around to cover the other’s mouth, pulling his fingers out and undoing his own pants one-handed.

The curly haired man had to bite down on his lip however, because Kurt ran his tongue across the palm of his hand and it tickled. He lined the head of his cock up with Kurt’s entrance.

“Oh Kurt, so beautiful and pliant and begging for me,” Blaine whispered against his neck. Kurt let out a small moan that was muffled by the other man’s hand. “I’m going to take care of you,” Blaine added, and he slowly pushed into him, feeling Kurt’s hole immediately clench around him snug and warm, and perfect.

“Blaine…” Kurt gasped out against his hand. He opened his eyes and stared at the perfect look on the other man’s face and he knew, he knew that no matter what, he was going to spend the rest of his life with Blaine. And he still bit back on those three little words. It still wasn’t the right time for them.

Blaine made slow, sweet love to him, despite the fact that they were on a time limit, but Kurt didn’t care. He wanted to feel all of this man for as long as he possibly could. “Look! Open your eyes and look at yourself in the mirror, see how beautiful you are with your eyes blown wide open with lust, and face flushed with pleasure!”

Kurt did as Blaine had asked and stared at the two of them, watching how the pleasure flooded over both of them as they connected as one. He felt the tears spring to his eyes with how happy this was making him and he pressed kisses into the palm of Blaine’s hand. All he could think in his head was how much he loved him, over and over. And it was harder than ever not to say it aloud. But he held off.

The sound of someone rapping on the door had them both jumping and Blaine stilled for a second.

“Are you alright in there sir?” A flight attendant inquired from the other side of the door. “You’ve been in there quite a while.” Blaine stayed quiet and removed his hand from Kurt’s mouth.

Trying to keep the trembles out, Kurt responded. “Yes, sorry. Airport food doesn’t always agree with me.” Blaine had to bite down on his tongue to keep from laughing.

“Do you need any help?” the flight attendant asked.

“No, no I’m fine! Thank you!”

There were no words from the flight attendant after that. Instead of killing the mood, it only made Blaine want Kurt more and he sped up his thrusts, once more smothering Kurt’s moans with his hand.

Several thrusts later, Kurt accidentally bit down on the palm of Blaine’s hand as he came all over the bathroom counter. The sight of Kurt’s orgasm face sent Blaine over the edge and he filled the other man with his seed, letting out his breath in soft, moaning gasps. It wasn’t until he felt himself spill into Kurt that he realized he’d forgotten the condom, but in that moment, he didn’t really care. He fell forward over him and kissed the back of the other’s neck.

“Mine,” Blaine mumbled, nuzzling him for a moment.

“Yours,” Kurt replied, trying to control his breathing.

It took a few moments for them to come down enough to clean themselves and the bathroom up and Kurt decided to slip out first, just in case that flight attendant was watching the door. He stepped out, straightening the coif on his head and his shirt, making himself look as immaculate as possible.

Blaine waited at least five minutes, if not longer to follow him out, wanting to be sure no one’s attention was still on the bathroom, plus, he lingered to clean all the come off the counter.

As he made his way back to his seat, he noticed the same young man from earlier staring at him, an expression of interest on his face. Blaine just rolled his eyes and shook his head as he slipped back into his seat next to Kurt, leaning over to kiss the pale man, making sure everyone could see that they were a couple, even if they hadn’t made it official just yet.

…

“Got it!” Azimio called out, getting Dave’s attention.

“That was fast.” He said to the darker man, who handed him the clue as he tried to catch his breath, having run back.   


“Yeah, well, I remembered the pretty ladies. I had to guess on the guys, but I guess I did all right, cause I got the clue!”

“Good Job! Let’s go!”

...

Once the plane landed, it was every team for themselves, both knowing that from this point forward they had to rely only on themselves. Before they parted, Kurt kissed Blaine senseless, and whispered in his ear. “Prepare to lose!” And with one last parting wink, the pale man and his dad were off.

Blaine laughed, and chased after them, Cooper at his side. Their cab drivers were both very competitive, and they leap frogged each other a few times between the airport and the Cobb house. Blaine and Cooper arrived first, but Burt and Kurt were only seconds behind.

They ripped open the clues.

“Detour! Wild Animals, or Wild Flowers?”

…

_ “In this detour, teams must choose between two environmentally helpful tasks. In Wild Animals, teams will travel by taxi to Oregon Zoo, where they will assist Zoo staff in releasing Western Pond Turtles that have been reared at the zoo back into the wild. Once the turtles have been released in the designated area, they will receive their next clue. _

_ In Wild Flowers, Teams will travel to the International Rose Test Garden, and search for the rare Osiria Dragon Rose. Once they locate it, they will assist the horticulturist in pollinating twelve plants. When the task is completed to the Horticulturist’s satisfaction, they will receive their next clue. _

…

“Wild Flowers!” Kurt decided.   


“Are you sure, Kiddo?” Burt asked.

“Yes, pollinating twelve plants shouldn’t take very long. Besides, it doesn’t say how many turtles or where they will be released. It may take a while to get to the release area, and depending on how many you have to release, it could take even longer. I think the flowers will be much faster.”

“Okay, sounds good!” Burt said, giving him a one armed hug.

Blaine and Cooper had been deliberating quietly a few feet away, and sprinted for their taxi at the same time the Hummel men had made their decision. It appeared both teams had chosen the same Detour, as their cabs once again played leap frog on the short ride to the Test Garden, with Burt and Kurt taking the lead when the other team’s cab was forced to stop for a red light.

Burt found the location of the rose they were searching for on the directory near the front of the Gardens, and they quickly made their way to the spot, easily finding the horticulturists, who instructed them on the proper way to pollinate. It took slightly longer than Kurt had thought, but was still an easy task. They were on their fourth flower when Blaine and Cooper caught up to them.

…

_ “We love Burt and Kurt,” Cooper said, smiling at the camera, and for once not over acting. “They are great people, and if anyone deserves to win this race besides us, it’s those two. No matter what happens, I know that when the race is over, they will be a part of our lives, and I for one know I’ll be a better person because of them.” _

_ ... _

The two teams bantered good naturedly as they worked, trading playful insults as the thrill of the race filled them. Burt and Kurt finished first, receiving their clue, and running towards the exit before reading it.

“Drive yourselves to the Bridge of the Gods, and search for your next clue!”

They found the marked cars, and pulled out just as Blaine and Cooper exited the Gardens.

…

“Let’s do the turtles!” Azimio said, sounding like an excited five year old. “I love turtles!”

Dave gave him a questioning look. “Fine, but if you start singing the theme song from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, I’m out of here!”

The other man laughed. “Not into Donatello?”

Dave rolled his eyes. “Not really. Raphael was more my type.”

“Ooh! The image of Dave Karofsky’s mystery man is now beginning to form in my head! Tall, Green, and can kick ass!”

Dave shoved his friend playfully as they headed back to their cab and made their way to the Zoo.

…

“Roadblock!” Kurt read in dismay, knowing that no matter what the task was, his dad would have to perform it. He just hoped it wasn’t anything too extreme.

…

_ In this Roadblock, the team member who sat out the previous Roadblock must rappelle from the Steel Girder bridge and retrieve a clue from the buoy below. Once they have the clue, a boat will return them to shore. _

…

Kurt breathed a sigh of relief. Rappelling off the bridge wasn’t so bad. He hugged his dad as he was being geared up. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Kiddo. And I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me.”

Blaine and Cooper arrived just as Burt began climbing over the railing to begin his descent. Since Blaine had done the previous Roadblock with Kurt, Cooper was the one to gear up for the rappelle. Seeing how worried Kurt pretended not to be, Blaine put an arm around his waist and pulled him close.

“He’ll be fine. He’s too stubborn to leave you behind.”

Kurt managed a weak smile. “Thanks. I just don’t know what I’d do without him.”

They watched as both older men worked their way down. Cooper seemed to be having a problem as his rope appeared to jam in the gear. He managed to free it after a moment, although it caused him to drop several feet before he jerked to a stop, scaring the crap out Blaine, but he appeared to be okay, and continued his descent.

Burt had reached the buoy by now, and Kurt was breathing easier as the boat picked him up and brought him to shore. Blaine released Kurt as the pale man raced forward to hug his dad and read the clue.

“Drive to Columbia River Gorge and search for your next clue.” Kurt frowned. How many more clues were there? Shouldn’t they be close to the finish line by now?

They got into the car just as Cooper reached the buoy.

…

“You might want to double check his pockets,” Dave said teasingly to the Zoo staff member who had shown them where to release the turtles. “He might try and sneak one home in his pocket!”

The woman laughed as she handed them their next clue. Azimio had a chagrined expression on his face. He’d named the two dozen turtles as they had released them into the ponds near the zoo, and talked to them as if they understood what he was saying, telling them how cute they were and that they’d better grow up big and strong and help save their species, which were important to the ecosystem of the region.

...

_ “I’ve never really seen Azimio so carefree. It was like I finally met the real man under the tough guy exterior. It was like having a kid brother, and I love him like a sibling. Coming on this race has really opened my eyes, both of our eyes, I guess. I’m glad we did this, together. He’s my best friend, and now we’re closer than ever.” _

_ ... _

Dave had laughed at the other man’s antics, for once seeing the vulnerability the other man hid behind his aggressive and domineering demeanor. Deep inside, Azimio was just a big Marshmallow.

They found the marked cars, and drove to their next destination. Dave was geared up for the roadblock, and made quick work of the challenge.

…

Kurt stared at the clue. “No! No way! We can’t do this! You are not bungee jumping, Dad!”

“Kurt, we have to!” Burt said in a reasonable tone of voice.

“You can’t!” Kurt said, fear ripping through him. “Your heart isn’t strong enough!”

Burt grabbed Kurt’s arms in that comforting way and looked his son in the eyes. “Kurt, you are the bravest and most caring person I know. You are my strength, you always have been. Just knowing you’ll be by my side is enough to prove that I can do anything. Now, we’ve come so far, too far to risk losing all the hard work. Do you know what an accomplishment potentially winning this race would be for both of us? I’ve always told you that you can accomplish anything you put your mind to. Now, let’s go out there and prove it to the world.”

Kurt looked into his dad’s eyes, still terrified, but recalling someone else’s words. Being brave wasn’t about not being afraid. It was about being afraid, and facing it head on. “Promise me you’ll be here to see your grandchildren grow up!”

Burt laughed and hugged him tight. “I promise, I’m not going anywhere until you are ready to let me go. Besides, I still have years of tormenting you with tales of old people sex with Carole!”

Kurt blanched for only a moment before he smirked. “You do that, and I’ll return the favor by detailing the mechanics of male on male sex.”

Both men snorted with laughter, and stepped into the rigging, as Blaine and Cooper arrived and opened their clue.

“Both team members must perform a Tandem Bungee Jump together over the Columbia River Gorge, before racing along the marked path to the finish line!”

Blaine looked up to the platform where Burt and Kurt stood, holding each other. He knew how terrified Kurt must feel right now, worried about his dad, and his heart swelled with even more love for the pale man.

He waited with bated breath as they sidled closer to the edge, and didn’t breathe at all as they tumbled off the edge. At first there was silence, and then both Hummel men where whooping and hollering in exhilaration. Blaine couldn’t help smiling as he and his brother were geared up. Kurt was so focused on his dad, he didn’t think the other man had even noticed him, which was okay. They’d see each other in a few minutes at the finish line.

Kurt didn’t let go of his dad until they were safe back on the ground. The jump had been nearly as thrilling as the sky dive, and once they had begun the plunge, he’d completely forgotten about his father’s heart condition and just felt that rush of adrenaline filling him. He could feel his dad laughing as he held on to him, and couldn’t hold back his own laughter.

Once they were back on their feet and Kurt had assured himself that his dad was fine, they began running along the marked path. As they came around a curve in the trail, they could hear cheering from up ahead. Around another curve, and they could just make out Phil on the diaz, and the eliminated teams (including Sebastian, but not Hunter, Kurt noticed. The Meerkat faced man was not happy to see him,) flanking the raised platform.

Kurt thought his heart was going to beat out of his chest as they began running full out, and all but collapsing at Phil’s feet. The host smiled as he shook each of their hands.   


“Twenty nine days, six continents, fourteen countries, 64,463 miles, and Burt and Kurt, you are the official winners of the Amazing Race!”

Kurt Hugged his dad tight, unable to believe what had just happened. Before they could say anything, Blaine and Cooper came running into the clearing, and then Blaine was in his arms. He heard Phil informing the brothers that they were officially team number two, but all Kurt was focused on was the curly haired man.

They looked into each other’s eyes, and spoke at almost the exact same moment. “I love you!” And then they were kissing, and the world faded out for a few moments. Their arms found their way around each other, the rest of the teams cheering for the two of them.

Except for one particular person who stood in the line on his own. He may not have been a very pleasant racer, but after all the investigations were done, it was found that they couldn’t keep him from getting to participate in the rest of the eliminated team process because he had nothing to do with the fiasco of cheating. He stood there sneering.

Jesse and Rachel in fifth place were standing with a significant amount of distance between them, though both were being good sports about who had won. Still, no team was cheering louder than Finn and Carole, the latter of which threw herself into Burt’s arms, even though they were supposed to wait until the final team had arrived before they could hug and congratulate people and take the season’s group photo.

Mercedes gave Kurt a knowing look, not forgetting her request that he not let Rachel win. She was so proud of her boy. Even if they had only known each other for a short time on the race, she and Kurt had clicked really well right from the start.

It wasn’t until they finally separated to breathe that Kurt’s eyes found the Meerkat in the line and he smirked. Sebastian only scowled at him in return. He might have done or said something then, but Dave and Azimio had arrived in the clearing. Azimio seemed to be supporting Dave, whose knees seemed to have turned to jello, probably from the bungee jump, which probably reminded him of the sky diving incident. They reached the finish line, and Phil welcomed them, proclaiming them team number three.

Kurt tuned out Phil’s speech about doing it all over again, his eyes on the stupid Meerkat still. As soon as the other teams rushed forward for the congratulatory hugs, he slipped away, casually strolling behind Sebastian.

“By the way, Blaine and I are now exclusive members of the mile high club,” he whispered, spinning out of the way of the Meerkat, in case he decided to retaliate, and strolling back to Blaine and allowing the other man to wrap his arms around him. “I love you,” he whispered to Blaine, noting out of the corner of his eye, Sebastian was balling his hands into fists, clearly ready to punch someone out. Of course, there was no way he would try it with all of production around them.

As they were positioned for the photograph, Kurt was wedged between his dad and Phil, with Blaine and Cooper on the host’s other side. He couldn’t hide the grin on his face if he tried. When his dad had first approached him about doing the race, he had been reluctant to agree, but his dad had argued that it would be a way for them to connect even more deeply than they had before, and while Kurt had still had his misgivings because of his dad’s heart, he had wanted that connection with his dad.

If he had known then what he knew now, he would never have had any doubts. Not only had the race brought him and his dad closer together than either of them ever thought possible, he had met his soulmate, and that was worth more than the million dollars.   


The photographer took the picture, and the credits began to roll.

…

_ Six Months Later… _

Kurt ran his thumb over the broach in his pocket as he spoke on the phone. “No, I said Glitter, not litter! Yes, that’s correct! Next Thursday, St. James Church, seven pm. Uh huh…”

He frowned as he studied the stitching on the suit he was making for his dad. The seam was off slightly. He’d have to tear it out and redo it.

“Thank you, and I appreciate you double checking that with me. No, it’s fine, Thank you. Okay, goodbye!”

He hung up the phone and picked up the seam cutter. The Wedding was just a week away, and he seemed to be more nervous than his dad. It would be the first time he saw Blaine in almost a month, and although they talked for hours every night before bed, it just wasn’t the same. He missed the other man.

His phone rang again, and Kurt answered it distractedly.

“Hello?”

“Kurt? It’s Phil Keohgan. We want you back!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap on this race! I'm off to at the very least, do more progress on chapter 9 of The Mole, if not finish it. I'm hoping to get it posted tomorrow night at the latest! Fingers crossed!


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